Written Legacy
"If they mean that much to you, how come you've never written them a song? How come you don't show your feelings anymore? As an artist, I'd thought that you'd at least understand that. You used to. I fell in love with your music because you used to sing for something. But now? I don't know where that artist has gone. You used to sing because you had something you needed to say; an outlet if you will. I miss that. Now you sing for the money, for the fame, for the status. You've gone cold. It's disappointing."
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It's disappointing. It's disappointing.
It repeated over and over in his head as he tried to get one minute of sleep. However, all he could think about was that conversation he had with her three months ago.
It has been three months since he last saw her. It has been three months since he felt that gut-wrenching pull as the woman that he loved walked away from him without a single glance his way.
During those three months, he has been hanging around the spots they used to talk and eat lunch. He would walk the way she would normally walk to get to her office. He would visit her favourite cafes and shops. It wasn't until today that he realised that she was spontaneous though calculating. She would never o anywhere near those places. She'd avoid him like the plague. Chances are, he'd never get to see her again. She's just the kind of girl to disappear off the face of the planet if she wanted to.
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It was February fourteen, Valentine's Day
The roses came, but they took you away
Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone
And I'll never get to show you these songs
Dad, you should see the tours that I'm on,
I see you standing there next to Mom
Always singing along, yeah arm in arm
And there are days when I'm losing my faith
Because the man wasn't good he was great
He'd say music was the home for your pain
And explain, I was young, he would say
"Take that rage, put it on a page
Take the page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place"
I'm tryna make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope you're up there with God
Saying that's my kid
One year, a thousand drafts, and a million more doubts later, a song was released. It didn't have the exposure he wished it to have. It was different from the songs he would normally write, but it meant something to him. Though she may not want to ever see him, maybe she'd listen. For her, he wrote a song that poured out his heart and soul. He wrote all the words he wished he could have said to his parents and all the words he could say to her.
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now
(Oh if you could see me now)
Whether or not she'd listen it took a massive burden off of his chest; he started finding himself, he started understanding.
If you could see me now would you recognise me
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticise me
Would you follow every line on my tear stained face
Put your hand on a heart that's was cold
As the day you were taken away
I know it's been awhile but I could see you clear as day
Right now, I wish I could hear you say
I drink too much and I smoke too much dutch
But if you can't see me now that shit's a must
You used to say I won't know I will until it cost me
Like I won't know real love till I've loved then I've lost it
And if you've lost a sister, someone's lost a mom
And if you've lost a dad, then someone's lost a son
And they're all missing now, and they're all missing now
So if you get a second to look down at me now
Mum, Dad, I'm just missing you now
He shed a lot of tears writing this one song that would be with him for the rest of his life. A legacy he wanted to leave behind, if only it proved that he cared.
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
Oh... Oh...
Would you call me a saint or a sinner?
Would you love me a loser or winner?
Oh... Oh...
When I see my face in the mirror
We look so alike that it makes me shiver
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now
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Someone was listening. Someone was watching. Someone smiled and knew that he understood.
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A train ride and song on reply this is what I end up with. :) I tend to do that when I have new songs and I just listen to it over and over again :P Listen to the song it's beautiful. If you could see me now – The Script. It's nice. It brings back memories.
-L