"I'm telling you,Madison, you could like be a Cullen."

"Haha, your funny, Jill, real funny." My best friend was sure that I was a Cullen, my pale skin, goldish-brownish eyes, and unnatural grace had all the Twilighters in my high school watching me to see if I attacked a deer or something.

"I mean seriously Mads you could like be in the movie as like the after Bella." Jillian Kafters was my number one fan, since the day I had asked for her Twilight book and found her number in it two years ago, we had been attached at the hip we didn't go anywhere with out each other, and were always sure to scream simultaneously when a Volvo drove by.

"Jill, just because I look and act a little like a vampire doesn't mean I am one." I explained with a fake exasperated sigh. As much as I denied the fact that I could pass as a Cullen, I couldn't help but wish it was true, being a vampire was my number one wish. I loved Edward Cullen more then my heart allowed , yeah pathetic I know. I had had a form of an Edward on my hands once, Hell I had a New Moon on my hands once, only in my story Edward had never come back, couldn't come back.

I gazed off, wishing for the impossible, that my Edward would return. My story was actually more depressing then New Moon, in short, I had an Edward that refused to love me back (Michael Thomas Trivins), finally one day he realized that I was what he'd been looking for all along. But, it was much to good to last, a year after we had been in the most blissful love since Edward and Bella, Michael was driving to his job at the diner down the street from our high school, a drunk driver plowed into him, ruining my perfect fantasy that had finally come true. I was never the same after he was gone, and neither was his mom. No one could blame her for leaving this world by her own hand, she had lost her only child, and I had been pretty close to trying that route a few times as well, but know one knew, until my Jacob found me.

Logan Evan Privinton was the quietest person in all of Independence High School. He always kept to himself, until the day he met me. It was like he was a different person when he was with me, and if Jill wasn't lying to me he apparently lit up every time he saw me. We had met at a friends party once and had been best friends since that bash a year ago. We were the exact opposite and yet when I was with him it was the most natural thing in the world. He made me feel safe like a brother would, only problem was that he wanted more then I could give him. I wouldn't be able to love him like I had loved Michael, I was broken and he deserved better then some one who was damaged beyond repair. He for some reason thought that he could fix me, truth: there wasn't enough super glue in the world to put the little bits and pieces of me back together. I was like a stain glass window, beautiful at my peak with light pooling all the mystical colors that made me who I was on everyone who came in contact with me. I wasn't and could never be again that masterpiece, I was beautiful in my brokenness, a pile of mesmerizing shards of a lost memory. I couldn't seem to get through to Logan that I loved him just not the way he longed for me to. God knew I had tried.

"Madison.... MADISON!!!!!", I jumped out of my trance at the sound of Jill's slightly agitated voice.

"Maddy, you weren't thinking about Michael again were you", Jill inquired as she realized the cause of my silence.

"Madison, you can't spend your time mourning over him anymore. He wouldn't have wanted that for you, he would have wanted you to move on. If you keep this up, you might end up-"

"End up what Jillian? End up killing myself?", I snapped at my friend, I could feel my eyes welling up and I looked away to hide my agony. Every time I thought of Michael, my stomach turned to a knotted mess and my chest tightened like it would explode.

"I'm sorry Jillie Bean, I just, I just can't believe he really left me here alone to fend for myself. I can't keep on going through life without him," I wiped my eye's with the sleeve of my Twilight jacket,"It hurts too much."

Jill wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"I'm still here, I'll always be here I'm not going anywhere I swear."Jill said gently.

I closed my eyes and wished with what was left of my heart that that was enough.