Title: A Talk with Uncle Johnny

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions

Summary: My response to a quote challenge by Ginger S. Roy's son, Chris, asks his Uncle Johnny for some advice…it took a while to the quote/point, but the story developed a flow of its own as I typed. Some of this is my "regret" over some mistakes I made in my life as well.

- "The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard

Part One

Chris was nervous. He knew that his Uncle would not tease him, but he had endured the incessant teasing at school and he was really fed up with it! Why did he have to have these feelings? How could he express them without further humiliation and degradation?

He knew his Uncle Johnny had been teased as a kid. The teasing was more like bullying and he had overheard some of the stories Johnny had told his dad and the other guys from Station 51. Sometimes, when sent to bed on those nights of the Annual Station BBQ, Chris would stay up and listen to their stories of firefighting and other "demons" they wrestled with. He knew his Uncle Johnny would understand, more than anyone else, what he was going through.

Johnny would be here any minute…he had asked his Uncle if they could go to the park for a while before he helped his dad with the "honey-do" list that Saturday. His Uncle had been a little surprised at the request, but acquiesced immediately—as, he always enjoyed spending time with his "nephew". Now that Chris was growing older, their time together was different. The games of hide-n-seek and playing catch were things of the past…now replaced by talks about girls, sports, and his future. Yes, Chris as a 14 year-old, was very different than the child he met years ago when he was first partnered with Roy.

Chris got his baseball glove and picked up another, plus a ball. He thought that his parents would ask fewer questions if he took these things along—though all he really wanted to do was get Johnny's advice on what to do about his problem. Yes, he would tell his parents, "We are just going to toss a few balls, that's all." It wasn't exactly a lie, was it? He would make sure to play catch with Johnny before returning—he hated to lie to his parents.

Johnny pulled up in the Rover and Chris darted out of his room toward the door. JoAnne was the first to call out, "Young man, where are you going in such a hurry?" Chris paused, dejectedly he said, "You remember…Uncle Johnny and I are going to the park for a while." Roy followed up, "What are you two going to do at the park?" Chris, growing agitated and anxious, just fidgeted at the door. Then, the knock came. Johnny opened the door and said, "Hullo, anyone home?"

Chris just wanted to run straight to the Rover and be gone, but that was not how his parents and Uncle Johnny operated. Uncle Johnny would have to talk to his mother and father, and probably Jenny, too. "Will this agony ever end?" Chris thought.

"Hey Roy, JoAnne; how's it goin'?" Johnny asked while on his way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee he knew would be brewing. Roy and JoAnne followed him to the kitchen, while Chris waited by the door. "My son sure is anxious to get going, Johnny. What are you two doing today?" Johnny, taking in a deep whiff of the coffee before taking a sip said, "I don't know. Chris invited me to go to the park. I figured he would be the event planner today." They all smiled…Johnny always planned games and activities from camping, riding horses, carnivals, movies, etc. when he took the DeSoto children anywhere. He spoiled the children rotten, and they loved it as much as he did.

"Chris, what are you going to do at the park with Johnny?" Roy asked. Chris had to move away from the door to answer the question. He took in a deep breath and said, "Oh…we are just gonna play catch." Now he would have to be certain they played catch before or after the "talk" so he would not have lied to his father. "Well, okay…you two better be gettin' to it, so we can work on that list my lovely wife has for me this weekend, huh, Junior"; Roy winked in Johnny's direction. "Okay, okay…I get it…we will be back soon", Johnny said as he walked toward the door. Turning back, he winked at Roy saying, "Slave driver!" Roy and JoAnne laughed as Chris ran out the door with Johnny close behind.

Part Two

Chris was quiet on the drive to the park. Johnny thought how much he was like his father in that respect. Roy was always the quiet, calm one of their partnership. Many questioned how they got along so well—Roy was calm, patient, quiet and careful; while Johnny was a ball of energy, always talking and took many calculated risks in his job. Johnny tried to never question how the Spirits had brought them together, he was just thankful. Chris was so much like his dad that Johnny could "read" him as well as he could Roy. Chris was dealing with something heavy, and Johnny expected THAT was the reason behind this trip to the park. He was anxious to find out what was going on…

Chris was the first to get out of the Rover when they parked, but he did not go any further than the front bumper. Johnny sat, staring at the boy for a few moments—he thought he saw something familiar in his face. Johnny remembered back to his childhood…

"Hey, half-breed, get off our playground." Johnny knew that he had the right to be there…but, he learned at a very young age to "pick his battles." Johnny decided that this was a battle worth fighting, so he stood his ground. "I have the right to be here just like every other kid…" As soon as he said it, he knew that he was going to regret it. The boys—five of them—came running toward him and he turned to run. It was not a fair fight, by a long shot. Johnny felt he could have done okay if it had just been one-on-one. He went home with two black eyes, a bloody lip and some VERY sore ribs. And, a certain look in his eyes…

That was the look he recognized on Chris. A look of disappointment, rejection, hurt, frustration, and anger. "I wonder what's got him so upset?" Johnny thought before opening the door and moving to the front of the vehicle.

"So, why did you bring me here?" Johnny said as he turned to smile at Chris. Chris swallowed hard and looked at his Uncle. "Well, can we play some catch and then talk after that?" Johnny knew what Chris was doing…he heard Chris tell Roy that he was going to the park to throw some balls. He appreciated how honest Chris was. Roy and JoAnne had done a good job raising their children to be honest.

After tossing the ball back and forth for a while, Johnny ventured, "Chris, what has you so upset?" Chris caught the ball Johnny had just thrown and he turned it over and over in his glove, just as he turned the words he wanted to say over and over in his mind. What would his Uncle think of him? What would his parents think? He already knew what the kids at school thought!

Chris looked up at Johnny and, Johnny almost winced when he saw that look again. "What is so bad, kiddo?" Johnny thought, again. Chris walked past Johnny and sat on a nearby picnic table. He just looked straight down to the ground. Johnny scooted up on the table beside Chris and waited for the boy to talk. Johnny knew that sometimes the words were harder to come by when the emotions burned so deeply.

Chris spoke softly…"Uncle Johnny…" Johnny barely heard him and leaned in closer. "Have you ever wanted something so bad and other people told you that you couldn't have it?" Johnny sat upright and thought, "This kid is reading my playbook!" Johnny nodded and said, "Chris, I can relate to that, yes. When I was on the Reservation, there were all kinds of people telling me what I could and could not have or be or feel. It can get pretty darn depressing after a while, let me tell you!"

Chris had tears forming in his eyes, but would not let them flow. He had seen his dad cry and even Uncle Johnny, but he did not want to give his naysayers the satisfaction. He would be strong. Chris wiped his face with the back of his hand and continued, "Uncle Johnny, I really have a problem at school. I know that I should talk to mom and dad, but I thought you would be able to give me some advice on how to deal with the teasing and the bullies. I know you had it rough growing up…I heard some of your stories. Maybe you could teach me how to fight or at least how to get back at them." Chris waited for Johnny's answer.

Johnny was hesitant. He was certain he had not dealt appropriately with his tormentors…eventually he had fought back…he had sought revenge for all the years of name-calling, pranks, and torture. But, he had also had to reap the punishment for HIS actions—which included some time in the local jailhouse. He did not want that for Chris. He wanted to tell Chris to deal with it differently…to do this right. But, he was not really sure what "right" was.

"Tell me more", Johnny prompted, "Why are they teasing you?" Chris took a deep breath and almost yelled, "I want to…I want to…I want to be in the school musical! I am really good at acting, dancing and singing, Uncle Johnny. And, the drama teacher told me I would be perfect for the lead in our school's production of Peter Pan. But, all the kids are teasing me." Johnny smiled, trying not to laugh out loud, he turned his head so Chris would not see.

Chris continued, "Uncle Johnny, they are calling me 'gay boy', 'fag' and worse things that I don't even want to repeat—just because I can sing, act and dance. They push me when they walk past in the hall…What am I going to do? I want to try out for the musical, but I don't want to endure all the teasing and bullying. And, if I don't make the cut, then I will have gone through all of this torture for NOTHING!" The tears had returned and Chris quickly wiped them away.

Part Three

Johnny could see that Chris was serious. He was really hurting and Johnny was humbled that Chris picked him to talk to about his problem. But, Johnny knew what Chris was saying…so many times he did NOT try out for sports because he was told by others—even the coaches—that he was not good enough, since he was a 'half-breed.' Johnny remembered back once again…

"Dad, what am I going to do? I want to run track, but the kids on the team are mean. They keep calling me names and when we are running the cut me off, push me, and try to trip me." He waited for his Dad to respond…Johnny knew that his dad was the smartest man he had ever known. If he knew that just a year later he would lose this man to a car accident, he would have talked to him more and soaked in every kernel of wisdom the man would offer. "Son," his dad started, "I have told you many times that you will have to find your own path in this life. Your ancestors will guide you, but ultimately you must make the decisions for yourself. A heard a quote many years ago, that has stuck with me all this time…'the greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear you will make one.' You must make your own decisions, Son, knowing that sometimes you may make a mistake—but, don't let the fear keep you from making the decision."

Johnny turned to Chris and put his arm around his shoulder to draw him closer. "Chris, we all have our burdens and trials to bear. How we deal with them is what makes us into the people we will become. My dad told me that 'the greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one'…You will make mistakes, Chris…but you cannot let the fear keep you from your future. Your greatest mistake is that you did not talk to your mom and dad about this. They love you, Sport. They will give you advice and encouragement through all the problems you come up against! That's what parents are for!" Chris thought for a moment…"But, Uncle Johnny, you were teased and bullied…I thought you would really be able to understand where I am coming from and let me know what I should do."

"Chris, I can't tell you what to do. Yes, I was teased and bullied…I got my share of beat downs. I pray that never happens to you. But, Chris, you have to live your life and do what you think is right for you. When I was your age, I wanted to try out for the track team. I went to my dad to ask his advice and that is when he told me that quote about fearing I would make a mistake. He did not tell me to try out for track, or to NOT try out for the team…he just told me that I had to make my own decisions and not fear making a mistake."

"Every day", Johnny continued, "your dad and I make life and death decisions, along with the doctors. Even though we sometimes feel like we could have done something different when we lose someone, we cannot let that fact keep us from doing our job. We are called on to make decisions every day, Chris…fearing that we will make a mistake and make the wrong one will paralyze us and we will not really live at all."

Part Four

Chris thought about what Johnny had said. He looked out across the park and wondered what he would decide to do. Could he handle the ridicule and teasing from the other kids? What if one of those boys picked a fight with him? Could he handle himself? Chris looked at Johnny and nodded, "You're right, Uncle Johnny. I just have to decide what is best for me and my future. What did you decide about the track team? Did you try out?" Johnny laughed…"You know the answer to that, Sport…I have told you enough stories about the records I broke in the 800 meter and the 400 meter hurdles. As a matter of fact, the track coach took me under his wing and when my parents died, he was the glue that held me together."

Chris was glad he talked to his uncle. He felt closer to Johnny in some way…sharing their struggle was a bonding experience. Chris hoped he never had to endure the loss of either his mother or father, but was sure that Johnny would be his "glue" if that ever happened. Chris stood up and stuck out a hand to Johnny. Johnny accepted the hand and pulled himself up off the table. "I guess it's time to go home now. I need to ask Mom and Dad to sign the permission slip to try out for the school musical." Johnny gave him a sideways smile and cocked his head…Chris knew what that meant. "And, yes, I need to talk to them about the problems I am having with the other kids, too."

Johnny slapped him on the back and they started walking toward the Rover to return to the DeSoto house. Roy would have many chores for Johnny and Chris would have some things to discuss with his parents. Johnny glanced over at Chris again as he walked to the passenger side of the Rover…"He's a good kid. Roy and JoAnne did a great job raising their kids…and, if I had even a little bit of influence, then we are all very lucky. Yes, Chris DeSoto is growing up to be a very wise young man."

Johnny settled into the driver's seat and turned the key. "What do you think your mom is making for lunch?" he asked Chris. Chris let out a big laugh as he knew that nothing would change with Uncle Johnny…and, he found great comfort in that fact.