Disclaimer: None of the characters of this story belong to me, they are all of J.

Midnight thoughts

He is sitting in the common room, smoking, slowly. He likes the taste of the cigarette on his lips. He, with his long black hair, likes to whisper the lyrics of any song that he likes while the smoke escapes through his lips. He tickles his fingers and smiles sadly while with the other hand he caresses his front. Because all the songs he can think of to sing, are the ones that he always swears to hate. Because they are too girly.

And he loves his angry face.

He knows that tomorrow morning the smell of the smoke will still be in there, and he knows that he's going to smell it. Then he'll turn his face to him and with his eyes will say everything, and even though he already knows which the words he's going to say are, he'll let him say them. Just because he loves his voice. Just because he loves to have his full attention.

And he loves his golden eyes.

He knows that he'll disturb him again and he's going to say that he only does it "for the sake of it". And he won't have the guts to say that he's wrong. That he does it because he wants him to look only at him. That he does it because he doesn't have the guts to say what he feels. So, he'll smile and say some stupid excuse, and then run away, away from him so he can resist the need of kissing him.

And he loves his lovely smile.

He knows that if he wanted to, he could try to conquest him, to make him love him. But he knows that he can't be that selfish, because he knows that he's not good enough for him. He needs someone as good as himself, and he isn't half the good guy he is. He is pretty sure about that even though James says that's not true. James. Sirius likes to think that he doesn't know a shit about gay love, because that would mean that James's wrong and Sirius isn't good for him.

And he loves his laugh.

He's afraid that someday, he may slip something and he'll find out about his true feelings about him, and that will make him run away. Sirius doesn't want it. He doesn't want him to be far from him. He hates summer; he hates summer just for the sake of him being far from him, and his mother telling him how useless he is.

"Sirius?"

And he loves his voice.

"Yeah?" He sees him sitting in front of him and he can't really take his eyes from him. He brings the cigarette to his lips, and smokes slowly. Enjoying it.

"What are you doing down here this late at night?" Sirius looks at him, thinking what to say, and he stares back, wondering why he's looking at him in that way.

"Just smoking, Remus" And without really wanting it, he closes his eyes.

"Yeah, right. Keep lying to me, then" sometimes; Sirius thinks that he, Remus, knows what his real feelings are.

And he loves everything from him.

Hope you liked it. I'm not very used at writing in English yet, but I kind of like the way I wrote this, so I just thought I would post it here.

Thanks for reading,

siesna.