"I never meant to get us in this deep
I never meant for this to mean a thing
Oh, I wish you were the one
Wish you were the one that got away"
-The One That Got Away The Civil Wars
It's Graverobber who finds her after the opera that destroyed her sheltered world. It's Graverobber that holds her through the night as she screams for her father, for the godmother she'd worshipped and barely known. It's Graverobber who teaches her a trade, Zydrate harvesting, and watches her transform that skill as she becomes the best back alley doctor he's ever seen. She can treat everything from the common cold to gangrene, and she does it without flinching. It's Graverobber who, on more than one occasion, finds Shilo passed out on the couch with one of her father's medical texts over her face. It's Graverobber who moves the book to one side, pulls a blanket over her, and releases the Zydrate bugs she uses for light. It's Graverobber who, on one such occasion, realizes that she is slowly changing the world and changing him with it.
Since the night she first took Zydrate from a corpse Shilo has started to change. It takes a few weeks to notice, and another few to decide what to do about it. She sheds Shilo, becomes Bug so GeneCo can't find her under her old name. Graverobber refuses to call her anything but 'Kid' and the occasional 'Shilo', and she still has trouble adapting to the new name. She keeps some of her old clothes, burns what she doesn't want, steals some of her dad's old sweaters and a lab coat. She makes Graverobber help her patch holes in an abandoned building, making the second floor her home. She turns the first floor into a shoddy doctor's office, one that would make her father wince, but it's what she has. She starts making a difference as Doctor Bug, healing people who can't afford going to a GeneDoc or a surGen. Her father's medical texts are piled high in her one-room flat upstairs and she's memorized most of them by now. The only thing that would make her happier is if she could tell Graverobber to stop denying whatever was growing between them. Shilo knows it's wrong, chasing the back alley drug dealer that saved her life, but she has become addicted to him, no better than the addicts he sells to. She can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but at some point between riding the garbage truck home with him and his strong hands pulling her from the trash heap she'd collapsed on after the opera she's become irrevocably his.
Graverobber tries to convince himself that he doesn't love her, that she doesn't love him. It's been too long since he fucked someone for a reason other than to pay for a fix. It's just a crush that he sees in her eyes. Her sleek black hair could be longer now, but she keeps it cut in a punky bob that makes her eyes look like she can see straight through him. She's got streaks of neon color through it, like she's copying his style, but she keeps it untangled for the most part and a chunk of it is always falling over one eye or the other. He knows it irritates her, he can see it when he watches her with a patient, the impatient brush of her fingers tucking the lock behind an ear. It's raining and he ducks into a shop to wait out the heavier torrents of rain. When notices a display of hair clips he looks through the selection, the clerk's eyes burning holes in his back. When he finds clips with plastic Zydrate bugs glued on the end he grabs all of the ones he can see. He pays in credits, telling himself that it's just a gift and it doesn't mean anything. The roof of the shoddy lean-to that serves as Shilo's office has developed another leak and he finds her pushing a bucket into the best stop to catch most of the drips. She smiles at him when she notices him in the doorway and no amount of convincing can stop his heart from catching in its steady rhythm. He drops all but one of the hair clips on the old school desk she uses for paper work, brushes some hair out of her face and clips it back. Her hand catches his before he can pull away. Her porcelain skin burns through his gloves, her dark eyes shine with happiness and something he doesn't want to name and he can't stop himself anymore. The kiss is soft and sweet. Everything she is and he isn't. He pulls her closer as his mind screams to pull away. The press of her body on his is heaven and he only wants more, wants to drink her in and never let her go. The firey touch of her fingers worming their way under his sweater bring him back to his senses and he pushes her back, breathing heavily. Her eyes are clouded with emotion, hurt written across her face. He wants her and she wants him and why the fuck can't this be as simple as that? He tries to find the words to tell her before he realizes that he doesn't even know anymore. "Kid, I-I can't… I mean, this wouldn't…I just…" He stops trying as Shilo turns away and tells him to get the fuck out. If his heart didn't hurt so much from trying to beat it's way out of his ribcage and into her hands he would find her voice swearing at him incredibly sexy. He turns and gets the fuck out.
Shilo hasn't seen him for weeks, ever since he kissed her. She feels his absence like an open wound in her chest, one she can't suture closed however hard she tries. She throws herself into her work, into studying, into anything she can think of to distract herself from the constant ache. When she's sewing some guy's side closed from a knife fight and he asks her out for a drink she accepts because she's run out of things to distract her. They head to the nearest bar before the local anesthetic she'd injected around the stitches wears off. The first drink goes down easy, so does the second and third. She learns the guy's name is Steve and that he thinks she's hot. She refuses when he asks if she wants to go somewhere and he doesn't push the issue until they get outside. The brick wall she's slammed into bites into her skin, Steve's hands around her wrists hurt more. Her knee jerks up and catches him in his half-hard cock. She finds a wicked glee as he screams and crumples, turning on her heel and marching away. Shilo doesn't see the bastard get up, doesn't see the shine of a blade as it arcs through the air and cuts through her coat. She doesn't see it happen, but Graverobber does.
It's Graverobber who pulls her from the gutter in blood-soaked agony once again. She clings to him like he's the only thing keeping her on this earth. Her tears soak his coat and he holds her close until he realizes that the knife hadn't just cut the jacket. "Kid, you're bleeding. Christ, it looks bad." He picks her up and runs to her lean-to clinic. "Kid? Shit, Kid, wake up! I don't know what to do! Shilo!" His shouting wakes her, unfocused eyes and sleepy smile make him want to wake up to her every morning. "Tell me what to do, Kid. Please. Please don't die." He hates the weakness in his voice, the realization striking him that if she dies she'll take him with her. Shilo's eyes sharpen on his face, taking in the panic, stroking his pale cheek with bloody fingertips before she snaps into doctor-mode. Her fingers probe the wound and she fires off orders. Graverobber follows them, promising whatever deity still watches over the waste of the world whatever it wants as long as Shilo lives. When he's done Shilo smiles up at him and says, "Did good Kid. Love you." With that pronouncement she falls asleep. Graverobber cleans the blood away from the sleeping girl, bring her home to her menagerie of insects and sets her down on her couch, covering her with a blanket as he does so. He will wait until she's better before he takes his revenge. No one in his city hurts what he loves without paying the price.
Graverobber is hurt. He hurt because of her. He'd tracked down Steve and hurt him more than he would admit to and the asshole's friends had decided to retaliate. Shilo knew he was good in a fight, but against five guys he was better at running. Now he's lying on her couch bloody and broken and bruised. It takes two days before he opens his eyes, two days before her heart doesn't feel like it's constricting every time it beats. Those grey eyes open and suddenly everything is okay again. His hand lifts, slowly and painfully, to her face and she leans into the touch, turning to kiss his palm. "Beautiful," he says. Shilo's heart stutters in her chest. "My Shi-girl, so beautiful." His voice is raspy and she wants to turn away to look for water but his hand won't let her. It snakes around the back of her head and pulls her down. His whispered I love you ghosts across her lips before they kiss.
The press of her lips chases away the throbbing pain of his body. It's soft and sweet. Everything she is and he isn't. The press of her body on his is heaven and he only wants more, wants to drink her in and make sure that everyone knew she is his, but that will have to wait until he can move without wincing. For now he settles for pulling her down next to him, the warmth of her soothing his bruised body. She kisses his neck and whispers that she loves him, her lips tickle his neck as she says it. He smiles into the darkness and tells her that she holds his heart.
(A/N: I'm not entirely sure if this is done or not. It feels slightly unfinished.)