I don't own Zelda or any characters from it. *Sigh*

All the characters are like 17 yrs old, don't question anything else.

Narrator: Link was riding Epona through the forest on a cloudy day when all of sudden a tiny fairy appears out of nowhere.

Link: Oh My God!!! It's Navi!! No!!! Lord help me!!! ... Oh ... hi Tatl.

Tatl: Link, The Deku Tree has summoned you. You must return to the Kokiri Forest and accept your quest. I will accompany you.

Link: Oh good, this means I get to chop things with my sword!

Tatl: How low have I sunk? Being an unemployed bum was better than following this idiot. I should have remembered the last time I was stuck with him!

Narrator: So Link rode onward, mounted on his trusty steed with his small companion flying at his side, traveling as fast as a bullet to greet his honored mentor, the Deku Tree.

ZCrystal: Okay, time out buddy! What is with the whole trusty steed thing? How cliché is that? Just stick to the basics: Link rode Epona to the Great Deku Tree with Tatl. How hard is that? You know what, you're fired! Bring in the next one!

Link: Oooookkk, I'll just ignore that. So, what is it this time, Mr. Tree? Are you rotting or something?

Great Deku Tree (GDT): Ahhh...no. This time the danger is much more grave. Thou art so powerful, and thou are needed for a quest. Harken to me, thy time is short. As these years have passed, my roots have grown weaker. But thou hast learnt so much...

GDT: Link, are you listening to me?

Link: *Leaning on sword with eyes glazed over* ...

Link: Yes, Great Deku Tree, of course I will help you.

GDT: You don't even know what I was saying! I spend hours and hours practicing those speeches for you, and you don't even listen to me! You don't know how boring it is to be stuck here forever!

Link: Um...I'm sorry *to Tatl* Have you ever seen a mad tree? Cause I haven't, but I think I'm looking at one right now, and it's scaring me!

Tatl: You haven't seen anything yet! You should have been there when Navi accidentally flew up his nose!

GDT: Ahem...Tatl...we weren't going to repeat that, remember? Oh, I don't care anymore. I have a bad case of termites. I think you can find the cure in the bug temple. Go into Castle Town, and ask directions, I think the people will know where it is.

Link: Whatever you say, Mr. Tree!

Narrator 2: So Link and Tatl rode off on Epona to Hyrule Castle Town to ask some of the local residents if they had the answer to his quest.

Link: Hello, sir. Do you happen to know where the bug temple is?

Man: Why no, little fella, I don't. You should probably see princess Zelda about that.

Link: Why do I always end up going back to Zelda? I am an independent man, I don't need her help!

Tatl: Don't tell me. It's just like that thing where you men don't need to ask directions. Well, guess what, Link? I have ways of making you go!

Link: *arches an eyebrow* Oh really? And what would those ways be?

Tatl: HEY!!! LOOK, LISTEN!!! WHAT ARE THOSE STRANGE CLOUDS OVER DEATH MOUNTAIN?!!!! HEY!!! LINK!!!! LOOK OUT!!!! LISTEN!!!! LOOK!!! HEY!!!

Link: Ahhhh!!! My ears!!! Okay, I surrender. I'll ask Zelda for help.

Narrator: And so, Link and Tatl went to see Zelda, flashing their honorary "I'm a Hyrule Castle VIP" cards. But while they were walking, Link's thoughts kept returning to Zelda, and his true feelings for her.

Link: They did not! And how would you know anyway?

Narrator: I'm omniscient

Link: *still trying to process* Omni...science... Omni...

Narrator: IT MEANS I KNOW THE THOUGHTS OF ALL THE CHARACTERS, YOU IDIOT!!!... I'm so sorry, lost control there.

Link: No, you don't know what I'm thinking.

Narrator: Yes, I do. Pick a number

Link: Okay

Narrator: 2

Link: How'd you know?

Narrator: Well, I know you can only count to three, so I guessed somewhere in between

Link: Cheater! Tell me what I'm thinking right now!

Narrator: Fine! You're thinking that you would like me to ... well that's not very nice!

ZCrystal: Enough is enough! I'm the narrator now! So both of you shut up!

Link: Fine. Hi, Zelda

Zelda: Hey, Link! What'cha doin'?

Link: I'm on a very important quest for the GDT. Would you happen to know where the bug temple is?

Zelda: Of course I do, Link, and I'll tell you where it is if you let me come on your quest too!

Link: How about NEVER!

Zelda: Link, there's no other way around it. You have to let me come. *Places hand on hip and begins chatting with Tatl*

Link: *thinks for a minute* Okay, I'm never doing that again! Now I'm all confused! Tatl, help me!

Tatl: *talking to Zelda* NEVER INTERRUPT A CONVERSATION BETWEEN WOMEN ABOUT SHOPPING LINK!!! YOU %#@*&)#!!! More power to ya Zelda!

Zelda: Let me go get ready, Link

ZCrystal: A couple of minutes later, Zelda reappears.

Link: Oh, I gotta get ready to Zelda, mind if I use your bathroom?

Zelda: Okay, Link

ZCrystal: A few hours later, Link comes out.

Zelda: Let's go!

ZCrystal: Zelda gets a horse named Jewel and mounts, while Link gets on Epona. Zelda and Link ride off into the sunset with Tatl following behind. Just had to get the sunset part in!

Stay tuned for Chapter 2! Will the GDT be saved? Will Zelda and Link fall in love? Find out!