ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES
Chapter One: Parallel Scenarios and The Park
Disclaimer:
This Batman belongs to Bob Kane and Warner Brothers. Alice In Wonderland is all Lewis Carol.
A/N:
I'm experimenting with a different writing style this story. It's blunt, nondescript. I dunno. Hopefully the effect works. Hope you like the characters chosen for this. More characters will appear eventually.
BTW, bear with me, please - this story changes pace completely in a few chapters! It's kinda slow until what's happening is revealed...
'Twas the brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
- Jabberwocky, Alice in Wonderland
"Coffee, Councilman?"
Arthur Reeves gestured her away, skimming through his mail. Meeting minutes, several letters, more minutes, more minutes… ah, yes… the laws that still needed his signature… MAN, Ripenburg's signature was actually there. Ripenburg had actually agreed to Bill 1- Wait a second…
"Carol… what this?"
He was studying a colorful VHS…
"Just you wait, Walt. You'll see." Alexander Knox backed into his office, shaking his paper at a coworker. "He'll LOVE it."
Tossing his jacket across the room and today's paper on his desk, he dropped carelessly into his chair. Clicking on a little lamp over his paperwork, he shoved asides several stories he was working on to reach his mail. A notorious reporter, Knox had lots of mail lost in mess.
"What have we here?" he whistled, examining a video cassette.
It was for the brand new amusement park…
"Wonder World?" Commissioner Gordon snorted, busy. "Like I have time for this… pass it on to someone else…"
"But who-" Montoya started, surprised.
Coat half on, he snapped, "Anyone, just not ME!" and was out the door.
"-oh yes, and another tape, sir…" Alfred handed Bruce another promo.
He didn't even look at it, sighing. He was so tired of being a delegate. Like his review really mattered anyway. He set it in a large pile by an enormous monitor, beside THE ETERNAL YOUTH SPA, without a second thought.
"Woah, woah, woah!" Tim snatched it back. "This is for Wonder World! You're invited to Wonder World, Bruce. How can you just-"
"Wonder World?" his surrogate father rose a skeptical brow.
"Hello? Wonder World…" the boy repeated, annoyed. "It's only Gotham's first MAJOR THEME PARK! Biggest news of the season! We're talking a local Disney World here, Bruce. It's THAT caliber! Where have you-"
"Fine, fine, fine… we'll run the tape…" Bruce interrupted, clicking on the screen.
"…Congratulations! You've been chosen to represent your contemporaries as a delegate to review the end results of our city's newest, most exciting project: Wonder World-"
"HM…" Mayor Hill didn't remember approving said park.
"…North America's largest, most elaborate amusement park! With 576 roller coasters, 670-" The tape rambled ON and ON… finally: "-Wonder World sets ALL continent records! Tops at everything, this new park took 15 years to complete. Count 'em, folks, 15!"
"That explains it." he muttered, turning up the volume.
"Planned by Gotham's leading minds, Wonder World-"
"Ya, ya, ya…" Bullock fast forwarded. "He doesn't seriously expect me to do this, does he?"
Before Montoya could answer, her partner showed her his half eaten burger, "This too pink?"
"Pink? It's RED!" she hissed, disgusted. "Harvey, it's poison!"
"Ya, ya, ya… so, this delegate thing - all expenses paid?"
"Well, if you'd watch the tape…" she was irritated.
"Ya, ya, ya…" he was still fast forwarding and eating the burger.
"This letter came with it." she sighed.
"Dear Summer, greetings from Wonder World…" a beautiful reporter was reading. "You have been chosen to represent visual media as a delegate in our review panel. Congratulations! You're in for a weekend of fun, all expenses paid…"
"… Sincerely, Vixen Pintell, Wonder World administration…" the mayor's secretary finished, setting the letter down.
"I don't have time for this…" Hill sounded tired. "Send my son."
"Don't worry! Everything's covered!" the tape bantered on and on, enthusiastic. "Our hotel, rides, meals… anything and everything you could ever want to do. We encourage you to have the time of your life! You have an unlimited tab that WE'LL cover!"
Tim was thrilled. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my-"
"GOD, I do NOT want to do DO this…" Arthur Reeves held his head, tired and annoyed. He sat on his couch, the room dark, images of an action packed weekend of insanity flashing brightly across the screen, illuminating his unimpressed, extremely exhausted expression.
It was all so… so…
"Awesome!" Tim sprang from his seat.
"Well, if you're that hyped, Tim - you can take my place."
"Score." the boy pulled in his fist, having hoped this would happen.
"I'll notify park administration." Alfred was blunt.
"Tell them anything you want! Scurvy… consumption… bubonic PLAGUE!"
"Councilman…" his secretary smiled patiently. "If you really don't want to go, why not get someone else to take your place?"
"I've tried. I can only substitute someone else from the field. From office. Not a soul in city hall will go for me!"
"I'm surprised your fellow councilors-"
"Oh please! Ripenburg and the boys? Don't make me laugh, Carol. They were the first to send me down… screeching in flames…"
She chuckled pleasantly, sorting files. "You're so melodramatic."
"No, I just speak with artistic license. It's all part of the job. And if you must know, if feel very strongly about this-"
She sighed, closing a drawer. "I'll go for you."
"You're not a prominent politician, doll." He said absently.
Prominent? Doll? Get over yourself.
"Alright. Tell them the truth. You don't want to go."
"Tried that… then orders came down from Hill… someone's got to go…"
"I heard he's sending his son." she pointed out quietly.
"Ya, well I'm not mayor… and being the charming bachelor I am, I haven't a kid to shove a suitcase to…" He was satirical here, almost bitter.
"Right, Councilman…" she sighed. "Then you'll just have to go…"
"What about flesh eating disease?"
"Arthur."
"CAROL. I'm NOT going!"
"How cliché… I'm actually going…" Arthur Reeves muttered into his arms, leaning into the seat ahead, sitting beside Tim Drake (of all people) in the colorful Wonder World bus, the tour having started several hours earlier. His wretched, millionaire play boy rival didn't have to go. NO… he sent his kid too! He actually had to sit beside-
"And on our left…" a speaker was narrating cheerfully.
"Is anyone else reminded of Jurassic Park?" Ally Knox grinned.
"Well, when a Rex flips the bus, you're on your own." Bullock was blunt, eating a messy ice cream sandwich.
"I'm serious, the speaker… the driverless vehicle… the theme park and delegate atmosphere…"
"SHHH!" Summer Gleason, sitting behind him, leaning over the blue seat, gestured for silence, wanting to hear the tour.
"-which we call ALICE DOWN THE HOLE, meant to represent Alice's fall into Wonderland-"
"Reminds me of Disney's Terror Tower. Is nothing original anymore?" Ally, trench coat and fedora, was satirical.
"Everything reminds you of something." Tim noted. "You've been saying stuff like that all-"
"It's like music…" Summer interrupted. "Everything that could ever possibly be done has already been done. I read that. Every song you hear is like… parts of thousands of other songs that already exist…"
"More like hundreds. I wrote that article." Ally was absent, glancing out the windows. He had his observing reporter look and tone - distant, distracted, looking out…
"I hear you're liable for lawsuit if it's over 70% the same as one song, though…" she finished, trailing off as she studied an enormous, colorful tower labeled ALICE DOWN THE HOLE in crazed font.
"-feet, the tallest in North America-"
"Take that Disney." Knox observed quietly, staring up in awe as the shadow passing over his face.
"WOW…" Tim's eyes were so wide. "I'm gonna eat my stomach! Dude!"
"That's one hell of a drop." Bullock admitted, actually looking.
"Say, who was the idiot who thought to invite the mayor's son?" Ally asked after a moment. "I mean, after his terrible experience with Joker at that theme park years back…" He'd written the article. "…I mean, who would BE so insensitive?"
"His father." Reeves was blunt. Inside, however, he was pissed. The mayor had gotten out of his spot. No one was attending for him now. Mayor Hill, Bruce Wayne… his mind muttered on bitterly… borderline petty… He could be such a brat under his cool exterior.
"Ya, poor kid didn't last ten minutes…" Knox sighed, watching attraction after attraction pass by. "Took one look at the colossal midway and the enormous roller coasters and lost his mind…"
"Cried like a baby." Bullock snorted.
"Well…" Summer started, sympathetically. "He's just a kid."
"He was a KID back in the day, when it happened." Tim countered.
"And next, on your right, we have a favourite among the staff…"
"CUTE!" Summer squeaked, opening her window for a better look.
"They stole it from the Disney version." Knox was blunt. "This wasn't in the actual book."
Before them was a water ride with various boats. A bottle, a log with lobsters… just like the Disney take on Alice in Wonderland… the water before the Caucus Race…
"What's with the Wonderland theme?" Bullock opened another sandwich.
"Ya, I thought the park was gonna be… I dunno… Moose World or something… the original plans weren't Wonderland." Tim agreed.
"Actually, it was Fairy Tales, kid…" Knox knew everything.
"Whatever, whatever!" Reeves interrupted unexpectedly, quickly and irritated, finally snapping. "This whole thing is way too school field trip…"
"Ya, this is a lot like a school bus…" Tim was staring at a mascot.
"Is that Humpty Dumpty?" Summer blinked.
"Ya, he was in the book." Ally was indifferent, flipping through his guide without looking up.
"It's too hot in this bus…" Bullock started.
"And now, as we come to our Fairy Tale part of the park, it's important to note, Carol's work featured many nursery rhymes, therefore… a fairy tale, fable, nursery rhyme section seemed appropriate. Besides, it's just plain fun, right?"
"Oh… Lord…" Bullock was frustrated. "It's HOT on this bus…"
"It really is…" Summer agreed, fanning herself. "This is just… too long… This park's HUGE!"
"As we enter Storyland we begin hour five of our tour…" the speaker was still enthusiastic.
"THAT'S IT." Arthur snapped from his seat, starting up the aisle.
"What the hell?" Bullock was annoyed.
Opening the bus door from within, Reeves simply hopped off.
"He can't do that!" Summer was shocked. "Somebody DO something! He can't just do that! He… he…"
Ally shrugged, finally glancing up, "Leave him. He was a killjoy."
"Hey, is that a concession stand? It's just like the book - EAT ME, DRINK ME… Nice…" Bullock was now getting off the bus.
"Wait, no!" Summer watched him go. "You-"
"Why not?" Tim was up now. "I came to experience this stuff, not listen to them yammer on about it for hours and hours on a school bus in the blazing heat."
"What's wrong with you people?" she watched him go.
Knox sighed, "Ah, Summer… this tour is wasting our time… according to these statistics it would take nine full days - that's like 216 hours - to do just the roller coasters alone… We've got two days, two nights. I don't know about you, but I wanna get in as much as I can. I wanna take advantage of our tab. What do ya say?"
He was so logical. Taking his offered hand, they hopped off.
The bus had been moving extremely slowly… so slowly… that they were all still within sight once Summer and Ally got off. Officer Bullock and Councilman Reeves were at a concession stand at the very far end of the street. Tim was running in and out of the craziest fun house they had ever seen just a few attractions down.
Reluctantly releasing her hand, Ally lead the way down the street towards the others. "What should we try?"
"Well, I would like a drink…" she watched the bus carry on along a track like a streetcar. Yes, it was more like a streetcar…
"It's on me." Ally winked, motioning to the card that represented their tab. Turning back to the deserted street, he noted aloud just that, "Man, this place is dead… I don't even see employees…"
"Everything's run by machines these days, Knox, get with it." Tim landed directly before them, unexpected.
"Want something to drink, kid?" Knox ignored the challenge.
Before Tim could answer, they noticed a mascot pestering Arthur Reeves. It was the Cheasure Cat. Poking him and waving, it appeared to want a hug… or at least a handshake… some acknowledgement?
Watching for several moments - for it was quite comical - the three resumed conversation:
"I wanna try that Tower. Wanna come?" Tim was pumped.
"Alice Down The Hole? You've got to be kidding…" was Summer's take.
"I'll do it." Ally was blunt. "Why not?"
Bullock approached eating a hotdog. He decided to actually attempt some form of socialization, as rude and careless as it was. "Do what?"
"Alice Down The Hole." They answered.
"Ha, no thanks." He turned away. "I just ate."
"You're always eating." Ally pointed out. "You'll never go on ANY rides with that attitude…"
"Maybe rides aren't my thing. Ask Reeves. I'm gonna go check out that wax museum three blocks back… any takers?"
"Only if you do The Hole." Tim sounded agreeable, but really wasn't.
"No chance, kid. I'll catch ya later."
"Reeves!" Tim called to the suit.
Arthur was distracted, going over his reviewer checklist. "Washrooms?" he glanced up at the Lady's Room Sign. "Ah, good, REAL washrooms. Check."
"And just what's wrong with port-a-potties, Councilman?" Tim approached.
"Let's rephrase that: What ISN'T wrong with port-a-potties?"
"Touché."
"Who said En Guarde?" Reeves went back to his clipboard, blunt.
"It's too hot…" Summer was complaining.
"Reeves-" Tim started.
"My, my… were you never taught to respect your elders?" Arthur smiled as he added to his review.
Tim was first confused, then got it, "Oh. Right. Sorry, MR. Reeves..."
Arthur corrected: "Councilman. Mister's too… crappy."
It was funny, but no one wanted to give him the satisfaction.
Noting Tim's expression, he carried on, "Relax. I take pleasure in the fact that Bruce is raising you wrong." With that he left.
Tim was floored, then ticked. "FINE. Screw you, bud. Who wanted to ride with you, anyway?"
"Let's just go, kid…" Ally agreed. "I'm tellin' ya, he's a killjoy…"
"MAN… it's HOT… shocked you people aren't melting…" Harvey Bullock was talking to wax figures. He glanced around at all the Wonderland figures and wondered what everyone else was doing now. This sucked. What was wrong with the air conditioning anyway? The heat was insane!
Detoured, Tim Drake, Ally Knox and Summer Gleason were enjoying the crazy water ride they'd passed earlier. It was so extremely hot now. Just unbearable!
Laughing so hard his stomach ached, Tim was riding amongst the pretend lobsters on a log. Ally was with the Dodo on an upside bird, while Summer struggled to keep her bottle upright. Tea cups, chests and other silly makeshift boats bobbed about them.
Round and round they whirled… laughing and laughing…
Though Summer noted a burn starting in, none of them actually realized how truly hot it was actually getting…
Arthur Reeves, hair unkempt and sweaty, had tossed his jacket over the back of his chair and put on shades. LORD, it was so HOT!
He sat on a pub patio sipping ice water with the actress hired to play The Duchess. While the character in the book was supposedly hideous, this girl was quite pretty. Unfortunately, he was a sweaty mess and had grown tired of trying to break through her implacable accent.
He could hear the others screaming and laughing… splashing… They'd probably get sun stroke running around like idiots...
MAN, it was outrageously hot.
"Are you enjoying the park?" The actress asked him politely.
"People have DIED in cooler conditions." Arthur gave a very flat answer from behind his dark sunglasses.
She started talking... and he didn't even pretend to listen... He looked so damn unimpressed right now, especially with the shades...
"How hot it is?" he eventually interrupted her bluntly, clearly indifferent.
She froze mid-word, surprised. Finally, she responded, "Hot? Sir, it's barely warm, whatever do you mean?"
Her accent was frustratingly thick, but she sounded confused, probably disagreeing.
"What? We're both sweating-"
"I don't know what you mean…" She was dismissive as she rose and walked away.
That would have been odd, had Reeves not been so used to pissing people off...
Laughing, Tim flopped off a cup and into the water. The water splashed and splashed… it was so overwhelmingly hot… and the water continued to worsen… to rage… to the point of danger…
It was so hot… so… hot…
The sun and violent waves were overwhelming… too much… He struggled to swim… but started to fail… Dazed, he tried in vain to keep his head up…
Screaming out for Ally, his mouth filled with water and he went down again… He struggled up and was almost immediately slammed down… he was cooking and drowning… his lungs filling with water…
So… hot…
Bullock stumbled through the streets, overcome by the heat… the world was blurring… it was SO hot… his eyes were burning… his flesh was literally burning… what the… hell…
He dropped to his knees, smothered… drifting away…
Reeves, only a few feet away from either victim, failed to notice, sipping a second water. It was important to keep hydrated, after all.
OK, this wasn't the equator, damn it. It was literally like being baked in an oven. He might actually faint. What the HELL?
This was Gotham City... someone could easily be trying to kill them right now... Perhaps he should DO something...?
Or he could crack a third water and hope for the best. He wasn't exactly the heroic type, after all.
I'm just being paranoid. It's just really hot today.
And then he looked over at the Mad Tea Party poster on the wall.
No, no. He wasn't being paranoid. If the Mad Hatter wasn't behind this park, he'd certainly be either attracted to it or offended by it...
And that's when Arthur realized all the shouting and laughter had stopped. He wasn't hearing the voices of the other delegates anymore.
Where had they all gone so suddenly?
Looking down the street he noticed the actress playing The Duchess had collasped from the heat. She was sprawled out in the street.
UH OH.
"Take off your hat!" the King said to the Hatter.
"It's not mine..." said the Hatter.
"Stolen!" exclaimed the King.
- Lewis Carol, Alice In Wonderland