Too many, too much, too hard

Help me

This time I went too far…

I feel so guilty for what I did.

I didn't just feel guilty…I felt pain old dirty. I could just feel the feelings of gross and dirty overtaking me, crawling under my skin. I felt like every inch of me was being consumed by little, gross bits of dirt.

I feel like a bottom feeder. The fact that I let the guy I did kiss me, touch me, and place his hands all over my once innocent body. I used to respect my body, but that was until I let him in.

He took away my virginity. I took away my virginity. I am feeling so low.

And what about Sean?

Sean had always been there when I needed him the most. He was always there so I could fall back into his arms when I had a problem. We always worked all our problems out. We always fell back in love all over again.

And what do I do? I hook up with Jay while he's gone.

I hate Jay. I've always hated Jay since I first met him. He's such a big creep. He always makes fun of me because I care about the earth. Excuse me for wanting to make the place where us and millions of others would be living for quite a bit a nice place, Jay.

I remember when I was a little girl. I always wanted to save the world. It was my dream…

But look at what I am now. I destroyed my own dream…

I cheated Sean, the love of my life, and myself. I let Jay add me onto his list of sex toys right next to the names of the sluts I hated like Amy and Alex. I think girls like them are so gross, but yet…I had become one of them.

I ruined the trust my mom and Snake held for me. I felt terrible for doing this to them. The innocent and loveable girl they had once known is forever gone.

I let my friends down. Manny is mad at me for not using better judgment. JT won't come near me. Everyone else has labeled me a slut.

I can't believe it…I am what I hate. I am no longer the virgin who loved nature and had a lot of great friends and was happy. That's Emma Nelson. I am not Emma Nelson anymore. I am a shell of her.

Goodbye forever, Emma Nelson.

This is a result of me being bored as hell. Also, the lyrics and the title come from a song called "Too Far" by Kylie Minogue. Well, hope you enjoyed…please review.