Crushed And Strung Out, a skins fanfic

A/N: This has literally been sitting on my iPad for months. I started writing it a long time ago, and it's actually been mostly complete, with the exception of the end of the short epilogue at the end. It's mostly told by Naomi, but there is part of it that Emily tells, too.

I could have posted this as a series of chapters, but honestly, I think it works better as one whole piece. I could be wrong, but meh, I am pulling the lazyarse card and not bothering LOL. But I'm sure some of you will enjoy it all the same.

It does contain a Cigarette Warning™, for one scene and some other bits that are mentioned in conversation. Most of that is more sensual description rather than actual smut, so *shrugs*. It's more about the story other than it being pure smut.

Right, I'll let you get on with reading this...

Disclaimer: I do not own skins. You would not believe the inspiration for this story, even if I told you. Or you might, who knows. Any and all typographical errors were sneaky little fuckers and escaped my notice.

(Naomi POV - Present day - Naomi's flat.)

She sits across from me, alternating between drinking her beer and fiddling with the paper label which she is peeling off. I stare at her fingers that gently grip at the paper, lifting it from the glass surface. I can't help myself thinking what her fingers feel like when they touch my skin. I can't stop myself from thinking that I want to feel that more than I do, as though I need to wake up to it on more than just a once every now and again basis.

More like every morning.

I can't help thinking that her hair looks more vibrant than usual. This is probably the one of the longest times we've sat together in my flat, so far. Usually by this point my fingers are clinging to the vibrant hair that spills from her head as she is pushing her fingers inside me.

Oh yeah, maybe I should explain that, no?

My name is Naomi Campbell. Laugh, and I won't tell you the rest of the story.

Oh, alright, go on then, I'll wait.

Right, got that out of your system? Ok, then.

I work as a political editor for one of the larger newspapers in London. Not quite The Times, but close. I love my job, and it's something I find to be rewarding, and gives me the opportunity to work with two things I love: politics, and standing up for injustice. I've worked here two years, and I'm still enjoying it a lot.

I work a lot, and as such don't have time for a relationship. Plus, I'm not so sure I believe in love, and... Come to think of it, I've never really let anyone close enough. I'm pretty guarded about a lot of personal things.

But anyway, a girl has needs, and sometimes the whole do-it-yourself approach just doesn't cut it, if you get my meaning.

So, that's how I came to have this friends-with-benefits arrangement with this girl at my office. She was the food editor, or the fashion editor, I can't remember quite which one, and this is not made easy by the fact that she has a twin sister who also works there. So I often get their jobs confused. But not the two girls, as they are completely different, even for twins.

Emily. That's her name. Petite, nice eyes, cute face, gorgeous body. I have to mention that I resisted her at first. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to fuck her. But there was something about her that scared the shit out of me. Everything I felt for her that wasn't physical was getting to me. Eventually it came to a head, and one night, after a few too many drinks, we fucked. We both agreed it was no strings attached, and at the time, Emily was in a relationship, but it was on the outs, and she had confided in me that her and her then partner weren't shagging at all, and she was getting a bit frustrated.

This of course was only divulged after several vodkas and a couple of spliffs. She told me she was attracted to me, and I told her the same (because if nothing else, Emily IS gorgeous), which was true, something about her dragged me in, and I had no explanation for it, other than I just wanted her. And then we were snogging, and then one thing led to the inevitable other, and we shagged.

And let me tell you, she's responsible for some of the hands-down best sex I've ever had in my whole life.

Now, I don't know whether that was part of the problem, but it's safe to say that even though I fought it off at first, I found myself falling for her. But
I can't claim complete responsibility for that. At first, we didn't really know that much about each other. We would meet up, sometimes in a motel, sometimes even in the store room at work. Meet, shag, go our separate ways. Simple, no?

Then one night we ran into each other at a club. I think it was a shock for the both of us, to see each other in a setting that was so unplanned. She was with friends, as was I, so we parted ways. About five minutes later I got a text from her. We shared a quick, frenzied shag in the club toilets, and as she lay her head on my shoulder, she softly kissed up my neck. Her soft lips came to rest just at the top of my jaw.

"Let me buy you a drink..." She mumbled into my ear, softly. So, I did. We tried to get to talking, but it was tense, because earlier that day, I had been at her flat, because she had asked me to come, she'd had a bad nights sleep and needed some comfort. On that night it felt hard to open up to her, I felt particularly guarded because my emotions were getting to be too much when it came to her. Nevertheless, we went back to hers for a nightcap, shagged in her bed, and I stayed the night.

By this time she had left her girlfriend, and she took to texting me to tell me how her day was. Sometimes it would just be normal banter, and others it would be more flirty. Then other times she would text me for a shag, and we would meet up.

And then she would text me to just hang out. That's how I fell further for her. The time that we spent had me becoming accustomed to her charms, and it ended up that all I could think about was Emily. I had fallen hard for her, even though I'd never been in love with anyone before, I knew that what I felt for her was far beyond just friendship.

(Flashback - Emily's bedroom.)

It started one day while we were lying in her bed after a particularly energetic round of shagging. She had made me come so hard that I had literally seen stars. Emily is quite good with...oral talents. Afterward, her head was nestled into my shoulder and her arm was draped across my stomach.

"What are we doing, Naomi?" She asked softly, her husky voice reaching my ear.

"Well, we're lying in bed, that was obvious." I smirked.

"Yes, I know that..." She replied, "Hardly what I meant, though, I mean... What is...this?" she said, gesturing between the two of us.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Hadn't really thought to label it." I said. "Why do you ask?"

"Doesn't that bother you a bit?"

I thought about this briefly. It didn't, really. I mean, I had decided to try to not get emotionally invested in it, and for the most part, it worked. But there was still something I thought that I felt for her, and I wasn't quite sure what to call it.

"Not really." I answered her. "This... It works, you know? It's not messy... It's clean. We don't expect anything of each other, and if it's not convenient, we don't get upset over it."

"Right." she replies. There is a tone to her voice that is slightly sad. "But... What would you do if... If it meant more. Like if it turned out that it just wasn't sex to you."

"Does it mean more to you?" I ask, evading her question.

"N-no. I mean, you're cool to hang out with and all, but... This is just sex, yeah? No attachments."

"Yeah, just sex." I reply. I'm not even sure of my own voice, so god knows if it's reassuring her. Wait, why do I care if its reassuring to her?

Oh, shit.

(Naomi's POV - Present Day - Naomi's flat.)

That was the moment I knew that I was in deeper than I wanted to be, and when I had time to think about it alone, I realised that it wasn't just Emily who wanted to know the answer to her question.

So, how did I come to be sitting at my kitchen table, across from Emily, as she peels a label off a beer bottle?

I tend to run from situations that make me uncomfortable. Emily had been texting me one day, and the conversation got a little emotional, to the point where Emily had basically hinted that she had feelings for me. I didn't know what to say, so I had fobbed it off and the conversation more or less ended right there. It was terrifying enough to me that I had feelings for her, let alone that she might feel the same way about me. I thought about it after the conversation we had in bed, but pushed it out of my mind, still believing that no one would ever really love me.

I got in a mood about it, and pretty much ignored her for a few days. It was a little hard at work, the first day, so I just called in sick the rest of the week. Which is how she came to be in my house. Not one to be rude, I offered her a beer, which turned into a couple, in short order. We didn't speak, just sat there across from each other, drinking. We both knew what needed to be said, and I, at least was too worried to say anything, just in case it ruined the arrangement we had, by making it awkward.

The best thing about an arrangement like we had, was that feelings never came into it. Involving whatever we actually felt just seemed like a bad idea, at least from my point of view, and I wasn't really prepared to deal with it yet, even though I had surmised in my head that while I thought that I would like to have a relationship with Emily, I wasn't sure she felt the same way, and she probably wouldn't think I was worth it, anyway.

I didn't do feelings with Emily, because that wasn't what we were, at least not at first.

"So..."

"Em..."

We both stopped as we interrupted each other. I nodded for her to speak first. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"You've been ignoring me." she said, quietly.

I took a long sip of my beer, and nodded, sheepishly.

"Why?" came the soft question, as she succeeded in tearing half of the label off the bottle.

I swallowed thickly, and attempted to clear my throat. I sighed deeply. "I... Didn't know what to say. When you... said what you said."

"What, that I think I feel something for you?"

"Yeah." I say, my mouth feeling dry. I take another sip from my beer. "That's not what we are, Emily."

"I know. And I like what we have."

"So, why then?" I ask her, "It's so easy without the feelings, Em. We both get what we need and no one gets hurt. I'm not... God..." I pause, a hard breath coming from my lips. "I'm not into the emotional stuff." I mumble, biting my bottom lip. But as soon as I'd said it, I knew it was the wrong thing that I'd said, to the point where I wanted to take it back, as soon as the words had left my lips.

I almost couldn't look at her, but her eyes are like warm brown magnets that suck me in, and before I can stop myself, my eyes have met hers, and she has me held in her gaze. Her eyes are curious, and she's looking at me with a mixture of warmth, and adoration.

"Tell me you've never thought about it." She says, so quietly that I almost can't hear her.

"What?" I say, cocking my eyebrow.

"Tell me you've never thought about me that way, and I will let the subject drop." she says, her voice low and her eyes giving me a serious stare. It feels like her eyes are stripping me to the core, and I feel more naked when she is looking at me like this, than when we are actually naked and entwined around each other. I don't know what has brought this on. It's strange to me in a way, because we never do this. It's like uncharted territory, and completely unmapped, and I feel as though I am lost without a compass. I almost feel like I am drowning.

"Naomi?"

I look up at her carefully, because I know what I say next could possibly change everything between us, and it scares the hell out of me even more than the feelings I've been having for her. The feelings I've tried so hard to ignore.

"Emily, I..." I start to say, and then I find myself holding my head in my hands and exhaling slowly. "I can't, Em."

"You can't tell me you've thought about it, or you can't tell me you haven't?" she asks, her tone tentative.

"Either. I don't want what I say to change anything, and I worry that it will."

"It won't. Just tell me." she says. She is trying to coax it out of me, I can tell by her tone.

I stay silent for a few moments. I'm arguing with myself as to whether I should tell her. Do I really want her to know? A loud sigh leaves me and my shoulders sink as I exhale. "I have." I mumble out, before I have the chance to stop myself. I feel myself cringing inwardly, because that's it. It's been said. It's out in the open. I'm staring at the table, at the pool of condensation that has dripped off my beer onto the table underneath. I know it has gone quiet between us, and I am dreading the next words to be spoken. I don't know whether they will come from me, or Emily.

But no words come, at first. Her hand reaches across the table and covers mine, the touch of her hand on my skin feels like electricity has passed through us. It's the same feeling that I have always felt passing through us, I'm not so sure about her, though. My hand unconsciously grips hers, and squeezes her fingers in mine. "How long?" she says, her thumb rubbing back and forth across the top of my hand. I don't answer her at first, but she is quietly persistent. "Naoms... How long?"

I suppose we've never really had a 100% cold and sterile arrangement. It is somewhat familiar, in that she calls me babe a lot, and I call her Em or Ems sometimes, and she will call me Naoms. I don't let anyone else call me that, let alone get away with it. But for some reason I've allowed her to.

I exhale a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose with my free hand. I look up at her and give her a weak smile. She's looking at me expectantly, and her eyes are holding me up, when by all rights this would have already sent me crumbling to the ground. "Since... Always. I... think I've always felt something for you. It's just... Most times I don't think about it, Em. It just makes it easier." My voice trembles. She is the only person to ever have done this to me.

"Why easier?" she asks.

"I've never... I've... never felt that way about anyone before." I mutter. "I don't know how it's supposed to work. It's much easier to just keep it simple. I... I don't want this to be complicated with you. I'm not sure I can be honest about how I feel without making it complicated."

"So...you want to shag, but even though you feel something for me, you don't want to think about it?" she thinks out loud. "Naoms, that's a bit...fucked up."

"It is when you put it that way and say it out loud. It always sounded better in my head, when you put words to it, it sounds awful."

"Well, I could probably have found a better way to say it." She says. "Why do you feel like it will change things?"

"Because it just does." I say, quietly. "I wasn't sure how you would handle it. Whether you would think I was daft, or if you didn't feel the same. That's why I ignored you for a bit... I was shocked that it wasn't just me that felt that way. It... It scared me Ems." I get up and go to the fridge for another beer. "You want another?"

"Yeah, might as well." Emily replied. "Why does it scare you?"

I take two beers out of the fridge and open them, setting one down in front of Emily and then taking my seat opposite her. "The unknown. I don't know where this is going to lead us. It feels dangerous, somehow."

"Naomi..." she says. She reaches up and brushes her fringe out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. "Dangerous? I'm not a stick of dynamite, you know."

"Are you sure about that, Ems?" I shoot back, taking a long sip from my beer.

"Well, I'm sure, but why don't you tell me your theory?" she says, her eyebrow raised in challenge.

I bite my bottom lip. Do I tell her that what I feel for her, I've never felt for anyone else? That she brings out a side of me I didn't know was there before we met? "Well, you have shown me some things I didn't know about, before we hooked up."

"Such as?" she asks, her voice quizzical.

"No one tied me up before." I say, with a sly smirk. I'm running through the memory in my head, of my wrists being tied to Emily's bedposts, with her head between my legs. I feel a quickening sensation run through me as I relive the experience. "I've been missing out on that one."

"Glad I could open your eyes to that." she says, with a small smile. "You wouldn't have let me, though, if you didn't trust me, to some extent."

"True." I concede.

"I'd never had sex in the shower until I started shagging you." Emily admits.

"Really?" I say, slightly shocked. How can you tie someone up for sex, but never have fucked in the shower?

"Nope." she says, popping the "p". "Alice wasn't that...adventurous." she adds, mentioning her ex, briefly.

"Am I better in bed than she is?" I ask, without thinking. "Wait... You don't have to answer that." I say, as I feel my cheeks flushing.

Emily stares at me, her mouth slightly open. And I begin to think that this is the point where she goes off on one at me. "Well..." she starts, "There's no real comparison..." her eyes close briefly, and then she looks directly at me, her eyes almost boring their way into my head. "She was ok in bed." she takes a mouthful of beer and swallows it slowly. "But she never made me come like you do. No one has."

How she manages to look innocent when she tells me that, I'll never know. How I manage to not freeze and fall off my chair when she says THAT, I'll never know. I swallow hard, I can't tear my gaze from hers. The beer has loosened me up a bit, and I'm feeling a lot more relaxed now. I don't notice that she has reached for my hand again, and is threading her fingers through mine, her thumb stroking the top of my hand.

"What do we do now, Ems? I mean... It's out now, isn't it?"

"Out?"

"Yeah. The big secret. The elephant in the room. It's uncaged, so what do we do now? Do we explore it, or do we just go back to how it was before? I mean, can we even do that?" I ask, clearly thinking out loud. In the middle of my rambling, Emily has got up and pulled me up with her, and dragged me over to my sofa. She has laid down, and I am laying down next to her, and she pulls me into a slow kiss to quiet me. It seems to quell the storm inside me, and I feel much calmer.

"Naoms... I'm glad you know. I've wanted to tell you for a long time. And I've seen it in you, too. Nothing major, just...little things here and there."

"How?"

She laughs softly. "Believe it or not, babe, you're not as closed off as you would like to think. At some moments you have been quite open with me, without even realising."

"Oh." I reply.

"Don't think of when. Just believe me, yeah? I've known it for a while, now. Some of the things you do, the way you look at me sometimes... It's also an indication that you feel more than you let on. But it's ok, because I know how private a person you are. You keep things very close to your chest."

I nod, slowly. My eyes are fixed on hers, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth. She is right, in that respect. I don't let many people in to see who I really am on the inside. "And how do you know that?" I ask.

"I'm not blind, Naoms. You may not say much when it comes to that, but its the things you don't say which speak louder."

"You are correct." I reply, taking another sip of my beer. "There is a lot you don't know about me, though."

"I know enough to know I'd like to know a lot more." Emily states, her eyes staring into me. I bury my head into her shoulder, giving a soft grunt as I do so, and I feel her arm tighten around my waist. "It's ok, Naoms. It's ok to have feelings." She whispered to me.

I shake my head against her shoulder. "I wasn't supposed to have them for you, Ems." I say, sadly. "I didn't want us to change because of it."

"Not even if it was for the better?"

"I thought what we had was pretty perfect. No strings attached shagging. No emotional attachment."

Emily hums softly. "There's always been some form of emotional attachment, babe. We've just ignored it until now."

I think about what she says. I think back to every touch we've shared. Every look, every kiss. Every time we had sex. Or had we actually been making love the whole time and either ignoring it or just not making the connection?

"Why?" I ask. "Why are you telling me all this now? Why haven't you brought this up before, Ems?"

"Same as you." She shrugs. "At first, I wasn't interested in a relationship. I'd had enough of that with all the drama with Alice. It was easy enough to just shag you. We both got satisfaction and I wasn't wanting the emotional stuff. It was convenient." Emily's eyes are focused on her fingers as she fiddles with the hem of her t-shirt.

"Right. But then..."

She takes a deep breath, as if to steel herself for what she was about to say. "I found myself thinking about you more. I know we would see each other every day at the office, but I didn't spend most of my time perving at you. I actually DO work. To begin with, I really only thought of you when we would get together. It wasn't until after Alice had left that I realised I wanted something more, with you. I wanted to know if you felt the same."

"Isn't it enough to just shag on a regular basis?"

"It was, at first. You gave me something I wasn't getting from Alice. As tacky as that sounds." she pauses to take a long drink from her beer. "Believe me, though, when I say you are the best lover I've ever had." She says, with a smirk. "And then after Alice left, in spite of our arrangement and me being a bit anti-love for a while, I found that I wanted more of you."

I remember back to when we first started shagging. It was hot, no doubt about it. I don't know if it was the thrill of it for her, or that I was actually shagging someone who I more or less lusted after. After one encounter, we were lying in bed in a motel room, and she curled into me, and told me that her and Alice had split up the week before. I asked her if she was ok, (I may not do relationships, but I'm human enough to know that break-ups aren't always the easiest on the emotions) and she said that she was. It was hard, but getting easier.

I told her then, that she had my number, and if she needed an ear, I'd be glad to lend her mine. After that, she would call me at night, and I would just let her get things off her chest. I didn't have much to say that would console her, other than to tell her that she was a great person, good at her job, anyone would be glad to be with her, blah blah blah. What else was I supposed to say to her? That I was glad her and Alice had broken up? Which, I was. I guess a big part of it was the fact that in the last months of their relationship, Emily always looked so down. I didn't like seeing Emily like that, she is such a vibrant person, and I think it actually hurt to see her sad all the time. One evening after work I even took her back to mine for a drink.

(Naomi POV - Flashback - Friday Afternoon, newspaper building.)

"C'mon, Fitch. We're getting out of here."

"Oh, it's ok." She told me, "I've got a couple of things left to do..."

"No, I'm not taking no for an answer." I said, as I took her hand and dragged her up out of her chair. "Whatever you're working on can wait until Monday, trust me."

She didn't say much on the walk back to my flat. I didn't live far from the office, which was handier than needing a car, or having a godawful long commute on the tube.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked her, softly, as we sat on my sofa nursing a couple of vodkas.

"Hmm?" she mumbled, her eyes meeting mine. It was then that I noticed properly, for the first time, just how beautiful she really was. Her eyes held a warmth that just enveloped you in its embrace. A lopsided fringe, brilliant red hair, that would have looked wrong on anyone else, really, but it suited her completely.

"Something is obviously bothering you." I said, as she rolled her glass around, the ice cubes slowly melting. "I thought you might want to talk about it."

Her brow furrowed slightly, and she sighed, heavily. "It's a bit personal." she says, quietly, looking uncomfortable as she shifts in her seat.

"I promise not to laugh, or anything. You can tell me, I might even be able to find a solution." I assure her. She sort of laughed at that, but it seemed as though it was in spite of herself.

"Relationship troubles." she said.

"You and your girlfriend not getting on?" I ask, taking a long drink and pouring another.

"Wha- How did you know?" she asks me.

"That you have a girlfriend, or that you're not getting along?"

"Girlfriend."

I gave her an 'are you kidding me?' look. "It's not half obvious, Emily. Granted it's getting harder to tell with some girls, but when you spot your own kind... You sort of know it."

"You?" she asks, clearly shocked.

I nod my head, unable to stop myself from smirking, as she relaxes back into the sofa.

"Jesus. No wonder people think we are everywhere. We literally are." she laughs.

"Ok, but enough about how lesbians are taking over the world." I say, sipping my vodka. "What's happening with your girlfriend that has you all mopey?"

"I think we're breaking up. All we seem to have done lately is argue. About stupid little things. The other day she got up me because the rubbish wasn't collected. Apparently it was my fault that the garbage truck skipped the whole street."

"Clearly." I said, a hint of sarcasm to my voice. "But, that's not THAT personal. Couples go through rough patches all the time, apparently."

"Apparently?"

"Yeah. I... Don't really do relationships."

"And you want me to talk about mine? Little hypocritical, don't you think?" Emily scoffs.

"Oi, it doesn't mean that I can't listen to your problems. I just... might not have the best advice." I say. "So... How long has this been going on?"

Emily frowns. "A few weeks. Yesterday she left to go and stay with her mum for a few days. Said she needed a break. I just wonder if she is going to come back."

"Do you love her?" I ask, cautiously.

Emily shrugs. "I suppose I do. We've been together for three years now. Sometimes I wonder if she loves me anymore, though." she finishes her vodka and I pour her another.

"Hmm. How's your...um... sex life? I don't mean to pry, but..."

"No, it's ok. I should talk to someone about it. God knows Alice doesn't want to talk right now." she says, "...And, at the moment, non existent."

"When was the last time, if you don't mind me asking?"

Her fringe covers her eyes. "Apparently when it's too long ago to remember, that's when the situation gets desperate. At least that's what Katie says."

"And it's too long?"

She nods, slowly. "Not even make up sex after an argument."

"Emily... I'm sorry." I placed my hand on top of hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I think right now that has me more blue than anything. There's only so much DIY a girl can handle before she starts to crave the warmth of another."

"I know what you mean." I reply, placing my glass down onto the coffee table.

"You don't do relationships." Emily says.

"No. If I go out, I might pull. Depends on my mood... Or how drunk I am. I had a friendly arrangement with a woman, at one stage."

"Friendly arrangement?"

"Friend with benefits. Or a fuck buddy, if you want to be crude about it." I clarify.

"Oh. I wasn't aware people really did that."

"Sorry for shattering your preconception." I laugh. "But yes, people do that. Pleasure, without the emotional complication."

"You make it sound as though you're not fond of emotional attachment."

I shrug. "Never really felt it before, I suppose. Don't have the time for relationships, as I'm always so busy with work."

She's peering at me with her brown eyes. There's something behind them, though. As though she sees a challenge in me, and wants to take whatever bait she sees. It's a little unnerving.

"Do you find me attractive, Naomi?" There's the hook. I feel a warm shiver creep up my spine at the tone of her question.

"Yes. You're a beautiful woman." I say, trying to will my voice not to shake or falter.

"Hmm. I don't suppose you would fancy a shag?"

"What, now? That's not why I brought you here, you know." I laugh. Emily laughs with me, and it's good to hear it.

"You know what I mean, Naomi." she says, as she looks at me. Her look has the effect of wiping the smirk right off my face. A rush of heat floods through me as I realise she means it.

"You're serious?" I say. "You're in a relationship, though."

"Not a very happy one. And yes, I'm serious."

"Emily, I..."

"It's ok. I'm not looking for anything else. Alice and I are breaking up, I know it. You find me attractive, and I think you are too. So...why not?"

"Uh, we work together, like, in the same office. It wouldn't be very professional. And your sister is a right bitch, she would no doubt accuse me of causing your break up."

"I doubt it, she hates Alice. If anything, she would thank you." Emily says, taking another sip from her glass. "Besides, it's not like we would be fucking on your desk, or anything. No one at the office has to know."

I considered it for a moment. While I didn't have much of a personal life, per se, I did like to keep work and home separate. I wasn't one for mixing business with pleasure. To me, it seemed even messier than relationships. But then, here I was, in my sitting room with 'the girl from work', contemplating shagging her. I take a deep sigh. "No strings, yeah? Just sex."

Emily nods, looking at me hopefully. And it's her look that makes me crumble.

"Ok. But on one condition." I tell her.

"Which is?"

"We keep it professional at work."

"Of course." She replied.

I hold out my hand to her. "Shake on it."

Emily laughs. "What are you, twelve?"

I hold out my hand, insistently. "No, twenty three. But you WILL shake on it." I say, a little commandingly. I see something flash in her eyes, and she nods, smirking as she takes my hand and shakes it.

(Naomi POV - Present Day - Naomi's flat.)

Needless to say, a bottle of vodka and a spliff or two later, we ended up in my bed, shagging like rabbits. I woke up the next morning to find a note on my pillow.

"Emily slept here." it read. With a smiley face.

I couldn't help but notice the subtle beauty of her curly handwriting.

"Naomi?" she says, pulling me out of my memories.

"Huh? Oh... Sorry." I said, before clearing my throat. "Something more, you were saying?"

"You do that, sometimes. Drift off. Where do you go when you do that?"

I shrug. "In my own head, I suppose. I was remembering something."

"Good memory?"

"Mmm. Mixed. I was remembering the first night we slept together."

Emily smiles, as she closes her eyes. "Best night I've had in a long time." she says, her voice low and quiet. "Tell me why it's a mixed memory? I mean... It's good for me, and I'd hope it would be good for you too."

"It was, believe me. I was just thinking of when I found your note the next morning. I'd never had anyone leave a note in my bed before." I say, half smiling.

"I'll bet I'm the first who had stayed the night, too."

"Correct." I nod. "But as I said on the night, I didn't want you getting mugged or something."

"You cared."

"Of course I did, Emily. I'm not the heartless bitch I am when I'm working, you know. Ok, so I don't do relationships, but I still have a heart!" I snapped, before catching myself. "Sorry. I don't mean to snap at you..."

Emily shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

"What about you, then... How long have you wanted something more?" I asked, trying to deflect the conversation from me.

Emily lowered her eyes and fiddled with the beer label. She exhales slowly, and I can tell she's stalling.

"Emily. Quit fucking with the beer label and just tell me." I say, my tone flat.

"You won't be mad when I tell you?" she asks, looking up at me. She's biting her bottom lip, and I know that normally it's very sexy, but at the moment, her nervousness is sort of getting on my nerves.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Since I left you that note."

If my beer hadn't been on the table, I might have bloody well dropped it. As it is, my heart is hammering in my chest, and my mouth suddenly feels rather dry, in spite of the beer we've been drinking.

"Jesus." I whisper. "All this time."

Emily nods. "You were so adamant about it being no strings between us, and I agreed for the most part. I had to leave early that morning, and you were still asleep. But I couldn't leave without leaving you a note. And it was then that I knew that I wanted something more than just a physical relationship. I wanted you." Her tone has a slight tinge of something desperate to it, as if it's killing her inside to keep this bottled up anymore. "I knew then that I was falling for you, Naoms."

"But Alice..."

"Broke up with me when she came back from her mum's." Emily said, cutting me off. "How I felt about you had nothing to do with that." She nuzzles her head into my shoulder, as though she is scared I am going to get up and leave. Can't, really. It's my flat, after all... I'd have nowhere to really go, except maybe Effy's, and she would grill me as soon as I got in the door. She was my best friend, but I wasn't having her strange one-sided third degree today. I'm not rude enough to throw Emily out, so instead, I pull her closer to me and hold her, softly kissing her temple. "It's ok, Em. I'm not going anywhere."

"It scares you, though. Doesn't it?" she whispers. "I mean you don't think about how you feel. You like things uncomplicated."

"Yeah."

"I've never done this no-strings-attached thing before. It's different. Good… in a way. No expectations, yeah?"

"That's why. It allows you to get what you want, without all the... Hazards." I replied.

Emily nuzzles her nose into my neck. "You think relationships are hazardous?"

"Someone always gets hurt, Ems." I say, sadly. "I don't want that."

"You think I'll hurt you?"

I shrugged. "Or I you. We're not perfect."

"No one is. But you come pretty close." Emily smiles.

"You don't really know me, Ems." I mumble.

"I know every inch of you." She says, tracing her fingertip up my bare arm. "I've seen you work, I know how you handle people." she continues, quietly. "What I don't know are the little things. The minutiae of your day to day... What you have for breakfast, what shows you like on television."

I laugh softly. "Coffee and toast. And Doctor Who." I reply, with a shy smile. Wait. Who am I, and what have I done with Naomi Campbell?! I frown slightly, Emily catches my expression and kisses me gently on the lips.

"See? Things like that." She says as she smiles, burying her head into my shoulder. She looks back up at me, her bottom lip tucked in between her teeth in a cute grin. "What do you have on your toast?"

Might as well tell her, I suppose. "Marmite, usually."

"Mmm, and I bet you don't have much either. Like, just a scrape over the toast."

"How did you know?"

Emily shrugs. "Marmite is a bit like how you are with relationships. You know how marmite has that intense flavour?"

"Yeah..." I reply, barely following the thread of the conversation now.

"Well, a relationship, or a connection with someone, can be very intense. I think what is between us is a bit intense, which is why I've not said anything until now. But you... You want the taste of a relationship, like it even... But can't handle too much of it. It's too intense for you, even if it's something you've been doing for a while without realising."

I sit up and look at her, the shock obviously present on my face, if Emily's worried expression is anything to go by. "What?" How the hell did she come up with that?

Emily sits up next to me. "Naoms, I…" she says, taking hold of my hand in hers. "I know it sounds strange. A friend of mine says anything complicated relationship wise can be understood by simplifying it to something that everyone can understand."

"O...kay..." I say, puzzled.

"It's more common for someone to say their relationships with people are based on how they like their food. You know... Someone who sleeps around might love eating at a buffet or smorgasbord. Someone who says they like their toast with a thin amount of marmite…likes the taste of being in a relationship, but for whatever reason doesn't like the idea of going all in, in case they get hurt."

"I don't…"

"Naomi." Emily cut me off, gently squeezing my hand. "We've been doing this for weeks, now. We just haven't talked about it." She said, definitively.

I sigh, as I realise that Emily is right. Maybe it's because I've wanted her from the beginning.

"Ems… have you always…"

"From the second our eyes met." Emily states, with not even a hint of either smirk or sarcasm.

(Naomi POV - Flashback - Naomi's bedroom.)

It might not have been completely selfless, me offering a friends-with-benefits relationship to Emily.

Wait, that sounds ridiculous. No one casually offers to sleep with someone because they confess relationship troubles. Do they? Oh god, am I totally awkward? Am I completely horrible for internally jumping for joy because she and her girlfriend are on the outs? If you saw her you would understand it. Young or old, hell, even with that voice you could be blind and know how attractive she is, on more than just one level.

I have to admit, I felt bad for her. It must have been hard for her, arguing with her partner all the time. So I guess that doesn't make me a complete glutton. But I DID want her, and my fascination with her wasn't simply a sexual one. I fell for her the second I saw her, I knew, as I felt a deep shudder run through my body. My breath was taken away. Sounds clichéd, I know, but that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

What shocked me was what happened when we started sleeping together. That first night, we didn't get much in the way of sleep. At first I put it down to just being intoxicated, after half a bottle of vodka each and a couple of spliffs between us. But as it got to be the fourth time that night that we were shagging again, my subconscious thoughts finally caught up with me, and I realised then that we weren't just fucking each other for the pleasure of it (something Emily had been denied for quite a while, it seemed), we were exploring one another's bodies as though we're were doing something more than merely just fucking.

We were learning each other. Committing each other to memory, imprinted across our very souls with each kiss and caress that branded its way across our skin. We didn't just make each other see stars. We viewed galaxies together, as though we both were weightless and naked in space. We lost ourselves to the moment when we flew into a supernova and felt each other explode. And here was me thinking it was just really good spliff. But, no. Clearly, it was something else that was intoxicating me, something I realised as soon as I ran my fingers over the script of her note.

I closed my eyes and let the images of hot memory flood the black field of my vision. Emily's red hair. Emily's arms around me. Emily's skin against mine. Her grip, her fingers tracing patterns on my flesh. Her lips and tongue as they made their way down to my centre. The vibration of her lips against my clit as she moaned against me, sending bolts of pleasure through my body. My own moans as the sensation became too much and the shockwave that was my orgasm tore through my body, leaving me exhausted and shaking in her arms.

God, the way she held me as I drifted to sleep. I was petrified, because none of the girls I had slept with had ever made me feel so connected to someone as Emily had. But what scared me the most was how perfectly we fit together. It was so unusual, yet so right at the same time. It was more than just beautiful. It was exquisite.

I opened my eyes, realising that I had tears slipping down my cheeks. In the short moments before the hangover headache hit me, I knew. I knew that I didn't just want Emily, I fucking burned for her. And by doing her a favour, I was only getting myself deeper into something that terrified me. The scent of her still lingered as I buried myself into my pillows and dragged the duvet over my head. I shut my eyes, trying to will the pounding in my temples to stop. Everything melted away as I fell into unconsciousness and slept off the hangover.

(Naomi POV - Present Day - Naomi's flat.)

"You didn't tell me, at first that things with Alice had ended. Why?" I asked, snapping myself back to reality.

"I don't know why. I loved her for a long time, and it was just easier to not think about it, or talk about it. Eventually I just couldn't not tell you. I know we didn't talk much about personal stuff, but I felt you needed to know. Maybe I hoped it might change things between us. But you are harder to crack than I thought."

"I'm quite stubborn." I state.

"No kidding."

"Smartarse." I say, sarcastically.

Emily simply grins at me. "Let's just say I learned it from you."

I roll my eyes. Really?

"Got anymore beer?"

"These were the last two." I say, gesturing to the two bottles in front of us.

"Shame." Emily frowns. "But that's ok. You're here, I'm here. That's enough for me."

"You mean I haven't run screaming yet?"

"More like you haven't thrown me out, yet. This is YOUR flat, remember?"

"I am well aware. And I am not going to throw you out." I sigh. "Not heartless, remember?"

"Yeah." Emily says. "I want to find out, though."

"Find out?"

"Yeah. Just how much heart you have."

"Really." I reply. "And just how do you plan to do that?"

She stands up and spreads my knees apart and stands in between them. Her hands reach my shoulders and she tilts my head upwards, leaning down to kiss me slowly. Her lips are warm and soft. Her tongue slips between my lips. I can taste her and it is more intoxicating than the beer we've been consuming. Her fingertips lightly brush along my shoulders, as my arms wrap around her waist. It's only after what seems like forever that she pulls away from me. It takes an extreme amount of willpower not to pull her back towards me and kiss her again.

"Do you want me?" Emily says, her husky voice sounding even more seductive than usual.

I nod my head slowly. "Yes." I croak out.

"Are you scared?" she asks.

"Terrified." I reply. "Is it supposed to be like this?"

"What?"

"Loving someone."

"You've really never had a relationship?" She asked.

I shake my head.

"Well, I guess that's going to change." she says, leaning back in to kiss me again. Her hands drift down my back to pick up the hem of my shirt and she runs her hands slowly up my back. Her fingers are slightly cold, and it makes me shiver.

"Em, your hands are freezing."

"Sorry." She giggles.

"C'mon. I know I've shagged you on this table before, but I don't think it could handle round two." I say, standing up and linking my fingers with hers. "Besides... I want to do something different and just lie down with you."

I lead her into my room and we lie down together on my bed. She cuddles into me, and I wrap my arms around her. Emily nuzzles into my neck. I sigh deeply.

"Are you ok?" she says. I nod my head. "You would tell me though, if you weren't?"

"I think so. I'm not used to this." I reply.

"I know. I just...want you to talk to me... if you feel uncomfortable."

"Yeah." I kiss her forehead softly. "I've wanted this for so long. I just... Didn't know how to go about it. It scares me so much."

"Why, babe?"

"I didn't want to ruin what we had. I didn't want it to be awkward if you didn't feel the same way. And from what you told me, I wasn't sure you wanted to be with someone. So... I settled for shagging. I've felt this way about you a long time, Ems. But I knew it would change too much, and I didn't want it to."

"Naoms..."

"Yeah, babe?"

"Would you ever have told me? If I'd never said anything to you..."

I remain silent for a long time. "I don't know." I finally say.

She leans in and kisses me softly. "I'm glad I said something. I'm not sure how much longer I could have gone on without doing so."

I hold Emily close to me, closing my eyes and leaning my head against hers. I feel her fingertips as they graze against my neck, and it's such a sweet thing, it makes me shiver. I reach up and take her hand in mine, our fingers automatically entwining. I open my eyes to meet hers, big and brown and curious.

"You know I used to watch you work?" she says, softly.

"You did?"

"Mmhmm. I couldn't help myself. The way you deal with people at work... It's so different to how you are outside the office."

"Em... We've never really socialised that much outside work."

"I know." she says, as she softly strokes my cheek. "But there was last weekend at the club, remember?"

A sly smile crosses my lips. "How could I forget? It didn't take you long to text me after we ran into each other."

Emily giggles. "It shocked me to see you there. I couldn't leave it that night... I had to have you. And I didn't want to let you go, after. It's why I asked to buy you a drink."

"I had wondered." I replied. "But I'm glad you did, that night. I thought it might give us a chance to get to know each other a little. Other than physically, I mean."

"That was why. The more we shagged, the more I wanted to know about you."

"And you don't know enough yet?" I asked.

"You know what I mean. Other than when we talked that night, the only things I know about you aren't exactly conversation starters... Not in polite company, anyway."

"Eh?"

"Well, what gets you off in bed isn't exactly something I'd mention at dinner with my parents. Besides, we didn't actually talk to each other much about things, did we?"

I laugh. "I suppose not. What do you want to know?"

"Hmm. What sort of music do you like?"

"Seriously?" I utter, looking at Emily strangely. She gives me a look back that tells me she is serious. "Ok... I like... Scissor Sisters, I guess. Nothing too heavy, really. No death metal or anything, but I like rock stuff as well. I don't know... I've not really thought about it. My mum is a bit of a hippie, so I heard a lot of classic rock, growing up."

"Interesting. You can tell a lot about people by the music they listen to."

"And what does Emily Fitch listen to?"

"Lots of random things. I'm into lyrics a lot, so... Some music these days isn't terribly good lyric-wise. It's more the alternative type stuff that's better for that than mainstream radio."

"Have you ever just liked a song for the way it sounds, or the beat of it?"

"Oh yeah, of course. Sometimes it's more about that, than the lyrics. It depends on the song."

"Interesting."

"Do you like any sports?" Emily asks.

"No." I scoff. "Never really interested me." I add. "You?"

"My dad loves football, and is a health nut. Runs his own gym, all that. Liverpool is his favourite team, so I grew up going to their games."

"You like it, though?"

"Yeah, I guess. It was more fun than hanging out with my sister who is still obsessed with fashion... And boys."

"Has Katie always been so..."

"Bitchy?" Emily giggles.

"Well, yeah. I didn't want to say it, but..."

"It's ok. And yeah, she is kind of a bit up herself sometimes. What about you... Any brothers or sisters?"

"Me?" I ask. "God, no. I think my mum was happy enough just with me. She always says I made her life complete. Don't really see it myself, though. I was a bit antisocial as a kid."

"You? Antisocial? I'd never have guessed." Emily quips sarcastically.

"OI! Smartarse." I reply, nudging her playfully. She giggles softly, and I think it's one of the sweetest things I may have ever heard. I shut my eyes and feel her snuggle closer to me. But I also feel something else. I feel my heart, as it beats a rhythm I've never felt before. My breathing is shaky as I try to will the butterflies I'm feeling inside me to still the beating of their tiny little wings. It's her laughter, her adorable little giggle that is making me feel like I'm spinning more out of control. This has been one crazy day. Maybe it's the alcohol? But, alcohol doesn't make me feel like this...

"Naoms?" I hear her whisper softly.

I open my eyes to find Emily staring at me, a concerned look in her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

Yes. No. I don't know. Godfuckingdammit!

"I..." A stutter leaves my lips, before my mouth closes and I shut my eyes, trying to keep myself breathing. I feel her lips against mine, kissing me slowly, bringing me back gently from the chaos that's occupying my mind. The many thoughts that are confusing me at this very second.

"Hey..." she says, once she stops kissing me. I open my eyes and she's still looking at me, concerned. "I've got you, ok?" I nod slowly. "Talk to me..."

I exhale slowly. "I don't know if I can handle this." I mumble. "The way you make me feel. It's...overwhelming."

Emily nods. "We can take it one step at a time, if you want. I don't mind. I just know that I want to be with you, but I'm willing to be patient if you're not completely ready. So long as you talk to me, Naoms. I don't want you to shut me out."

"I know."

She places a soft kiss on my cheek, and rests her chin on my shoulder. I pull her closer to me. "I just feel so fragile." I whisper.

"I can tell." she replies. "I know you are closed off a lot of the time. You are all business, at work. When you are with me... I know we don't talk work... And sometimes we don't talk much at all..." she laughs, softly. "But... You reveal a side of yourself that's so different to who you are at work, when we do talk. I've known for a while that there might be something more between us. I've grown to like a lot about you, this past year."

I close my eyes, as I remember the first time I saw Emily walk into the office...

(Naomi POV - Flashback - newspaper building.)

I was sitting at my desk, working on an article about the upcoming election, a general appraisal of the candidates, and what have you. There were only a couple of other people in the office at the time, and I looked up, distracted by the ding of the lift. The doors opened, and there stood two girls, who looked rather identical. Twins? I though to myself. That is surely going to be interesting.

One, had dark purple hair, and from what I could see, really bad fashion sense. But then I've never found leopard print anything to be particularly fashionable, and her top was so low cut that her tits could have popped out of it if she leaned over too far, and the length of her skirt suggested a fair amount of sluttiness. Her heels clicked their way across the floor as she stepped out of the lift.

"Come on, Ems... Where the hell are we supposed to be?" The purple haired twin said, and I noticed the slight lisp to her voice.

I flicked my eyes across to the other twin, who had the brightest red hair I've ever seen, and she was dressed rather more sedately than her sister, wearing a knee length black skirt, that was tight enough to just accentuate her curves, along with a light blue button up shirt, and a black blazer. She was hot, in a secretarial kind of way.

I had to mentally chastise myself. It looked like she worked here, so sleeping with her was well out of the question.

"Well, Katie, seeing as we're editing different sections, I doubt we'll be at the same desk." The redhead smirked. Her husky voice sent a chill through me that I'd never felt before, and when she caught my eyes, I couldn't look away from the chocolate brown eyes that stared back at me.

"Whatever." Purple hair said. "Wonder why the office is so deserted at this time of day..."

"No idea." The redhead continued to stare at me, and a small smile crossed her expression. She straightened her jacket and started to walk over to me. I couldn't help but notice the sway of her hips as she moved towards me, and I flicked my eyes to my screen, clicking save on the document I was working on. When I looked back up, she was standing in front of me. Jesus, she was stunning, in a completely subtle way. Like she didn't over-try to be sexy, she just had it naturally, and it was something that had me speechless.

"Hello," she said, holding her hand out to me, "I'm Emily Fitch, the new food and lifestyle editor."

I took her hand and she shook it gently. I couldn't help but notice the tingling sensation that passed between our fingers. That was strange.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Naomi. Political editor." I replied, clearing my throat and somehow finding my voice.

"Ok, Naomi, political editor, where the hell is my desk?" Katie the purple haired twin butted in. "'Bout time I got to work, yeah?"

"Which section are you?" I asked her, my tone about as rude as hers.

"Fashion, obviously." she stated, matter-of-factly. I can see her attitude was going to get on my nerves rather quickly.

"Over there, by the window." I replied, dryly, pointing to the fashion desk, which was covered with pieces of paper and old copies of magazines like Vogue and the like.

"Right." She said, and promptly strutted over to the desk.

"Sorry about her." Emily said, with an awkward smile. "She can be a bit..."

"Bitchy?" I said, a bit sarcastically.

"I heard that!" Katie snapped, from across the office.

Emily looked at me and our eyes locked briefly, and she stifled a giggle. It made me smile, and I couldn't help but feel a little warm inside. We had barely said anything to each other and she was already putting me at ease. "Would you mind pointing me to the food and lifestyle desk?" She asked, and I feel the sudden need to hear her voice more often. Preferably while she was screaming my name.

Bad Naomi. Must not lust after colleagues.

"Um, yeah. It's over there." I said, pointing to the desk that had recently been vacated by the last person who held the position.

"Thanks. I'll let you get back to it." Emily smiled. "It was nice to meet you, by the way." She said, as she turned to walk to her desk.

I nodded, and focused my attention back on the article I was writing. But before I could properly concentrate, I couldn't help myself but watch her as she walked to her desk. Her arse looked so good in that short skirt. And, the way her hips move... Ooh.

No doubt, I found myself attracted to her. But, I found that my attraction was not merely a sexual one. And for someone who doesn't do relationships, that could be a problem.

(Naomi POV - Present Day - Naomi's flat.)

"What did you think, when we met?" Emily asks me.

I smile. "I thought you were very different to Katie, in spite of her being your twin." I paused. "I thought you were beautiful, in a very subtle way."

"Subtle?"

I nod. "Unlike her, you let your natural beauty stand out. Katie tries too hard."

She kisses me slowly, and leans her head against mine. "I noticed how blue your eyes are. They really are quite striking." She links her fingers with mine. "It was one of the first things I noticed about you." Emily nuzzles into my neck, and I feel her hand slip under my shirt, laying flat against my stomach. "Is it alright if I stay tonight?"

"Yeah." I reply.

It's only four in the afternoon, but I think we have a lot more to talk about, and I don't want her to leave just yet. I sigh, because in spite of how I am with regard to not really believing in love, I'm finding myself falling in love... REALLY falling in love with Emily. I'm not sure if what I was feeling before was just mere infatuation, or attraction. It's then I realise that maybe I've been in love with her for a while, but just ignored how I felt about her. Maybe I've felt that way since the first time I saw her, but pushed the feelings out of my mind because I didn't know to handle it.

"Emily... Were you in love with Alice?" I ask her, the question just rolling off my tongue before I can think about it.

She lifts her head out of my shoulder and her eyes meet mine. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious." I shrugged.

Emily thinks for a moment. "I was, at first. I was a different person when I met her, I suppose. We met at uni, we were in the same course. I'd spent my whole life up to that point being Katie's shadow, so when I met her, I guess I came out of my shell a lot more."

"What attracted you to her?"

"She was talkative and very funny. She liked to tell jokes a lot, and she made me laugh." Emily remembers. "Then one day, she asked me out, and we got together not long after. I was in love with her, yes, I don't think I would have been with her at all if I wasn't. About two years ago we started living together, and it was good for a while, but eventually everything just became routine, I suppose. It was like having a flatmate more than a lover."

"So... It changed at some point...how you felt?"

"I guess so. I still cared for her a lot, but there wasn't as much passion or romance between us anymore. So I guess you could say that in the end I loved her, but wasn't IN love with her anymore."

"And she broke it off." I said.

"Yeah. I did expect it, though, but it still came as a bit of a shock."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Her reason for leaving me did, anyway." Emily said. There was a serious tone to her voice. "Turns out she was sleeping with someone else, which I had some suspicions about."

"Oh Em... You never told me that." I reply, holding her close to me.

"I know. And it's ok. It made me feel less bad about the fact that I'd slept with you while I was still with her. So even though I didn't really want to be that person who cheated, finding out that she already had alleviated whatever guilt I felt for sleeping with you." She explains.

"Interesting." I muse. It makes me wonder something. "Did you sleep with me to get back at her, then?"

Emily frowns. "I had a feeling you might ask me that."

"Sorry, I-"

Emily places her hand on my arm. "If I tell you, you have to remember it was before I really knew more about you. Ok?" I nod my acknowledgement. "Ok. In hindsight, I sort of did. I know it doesn't really make it completely right, and I wouldn't do it again. But it wasn't just because I thought she was cheating on me."

"No?"

Emily shakes her head softly. "No. I... fell for you the moment we met, Naomi. You were looking at me so curiously, like I was something unique that you had never seen before. And I couldn't help notice you virtually undressing me with your blue eyes, somehow."

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my lips. "Can't really blame me, Em. I'm human and you're gorgeous."

She kisses my cheek softly. "Thank you."

"Were you upset when she left?"

She huffs. "Bit of a strange question, don't you think?" She is silent for a moment. "Sometimes... I forget that you've never been in a relationship, Naoms. I still find it hard to believe."

"It's ok, Ems. I must be one of the people you rarely hear about. My mum thinks I'm waiting for the right person to come along."

"Person? You're gay, though, doesn't she know that?"

I shrug. "My mum is an old hippie. Tends to think that who we fall for has nothing to do with gender. And I suppose she is right, in a way. I've just never thought that way about anyone, I've always had other things that were more important to me." I sigh. "I suppose it didn't help that I never brought anyone home as a teenager. Honestly, I think I've just been terrified of attachment. Or maybe getting hurt. I've always been a bit independent."

"What makes me so different?" She asked.

"How do you mean?"

"You are attached to me, are you not?"

I think about her question. I don't suppose I can really deny it. "Yeah, I am." I reply, my voice sounding shakier than I want it to.

"I think you are more scared of getting hurt, than attachment, babe." Emily says softly, resting her chin on my shoulder. "If you were, then you wouldn't feel the way you do about me in the first place. It would just be lust. Lust is easy, you can get off with someone, and that's where it ends. It's the point where you realise you feel something more that can scare the hell out of you."

"Don't think that I haven't lusted after you, because I have."

"Oh, I know. We wouldn't have such fantastic sex if you didn't. We probably wouldn't have shagged in the first place." She grins... Cheeky bitch. "It's mutual, you know. I lusted after you as well, but didn't do anything about it at first because I was already with someone."

"And that changed when you suspected Alice was cheating?" I asked.

"Yes." Emily replied.

"Wow."

"But I didn't know I felt more until our first night together."

I think back to that night. The way she looked at me. The way she kissed me. The way she held me close and her fingers dug into my shoulders as she cried out my name in pleasure. And it's then that I realise that I think I've always subconsciously known. It's only in hindsight that I realise we've both felt the same way about each other all this time. "Emily..." I whisper, stroking her fringe out of her eyes. She leans close and kisses me slowly, her lips meeting mine gently. I pull her closer and she rolls on top of me, straddling my hips. My palms rest on her thighs, and she runs her fingertips through my hair.

"You have the most amazing blue eyes." she says, her voice low, as I find myself slowly stroking my fingertips up and down her back. "Sometimes I can't look at them, they are so beautiful. It's like they are hypnotic."

"Thanks." I say, my tone obviously conveying some doubt.

"I mean it, Naoms." She says, framing my face in her hands. "It's hard to look into your eyes sometimes. I've been worried I'd fall in too deep and not be able to swim my way out again." She leans close and kisses my lips gently. When she pulls away, her gaze falls into mine. It's been a while since I've been close enough to look into her eyes. Her eyes are a pure brown colour, intermixed with slivers of dark orange and amber. But it's more than just the colour that I see now. I stared so deep I saw past the hues of her irises, to see the low burning fire that lay behind them. I saw her amazement. Her adoration. She looked at me in a way I'd never seen her look at anyone else before.

Emily was looking at me in a way that I doubt she had ever looked at anyone before. Like she was telling me that she was giving herself to me. Not just her body, which, if I'm being honest, is the hottest thing I've ever had the pleasure of sleeping with. But something that was more precious than anything on this earth, something I had rarely let anyone get a glimpse of. She was telling me that she was giving me her heart. And in that look, she told me that it wasn't something to be played with, it was something to be adored, cherished, and taken care of. Like it was something delicate and precious. I know my expression is revealing the doubt I have in my mind. That I am not the person who can take care of her heart.

"Naoms... What's wrong?" She asks softly.

"I don't trust myself." I reply, so quiet it's almost a whisper.

"With me?"

I nod my head. "You have to understand, Emily. I don't know how to be in a relationship. I don't want to hurt you, and I fear I will."

Emily strokes her fingertips down my cheek again. "We can take it one step at a time," she says, with a soft smile, "we can... I don't know, date or something."

"You think we can resist each other?" I ask, seriously.

"Who said anything about resisting each other?" Emily asks, a sly smirk appearing on her face.

"Those who date don't have sex. Or do they?" I ask.

Emily looks at me. "Please tell me you have at least been on a date with someone." I bite my bottom lip and look at her nervously. "Naomi Campbell!" She laughs.

"What? I was a loner at school. And when I was in college and uni I was focused on actually passing my exams." I explain. "Don't mock me because I was a swot, it got me where I am today." I pout.

"Babe... It's ok. I'm just a bit surprised, that's all. I would have thought you would have at least been on a date."

At my age, you would think so. But I had my reasons for neither having dated a girl, nor having had a relationship with one.

"No." I whisper. "I have my reasons."

"Which are?"

"Are you normally this confronting?" I ask, slightly annoyed. Emily gives me a sheepish smile. She nods, and it's cute. I sigh. Emily kisses my forehead softly. "I just want to know you, Naoms. I'll tell you anything you want to know about me..."

"Favourite colour?" I interrupt.

Emily pauses and looks me in the eye again. "Blue." The huskiness of her voice comes out in the single word that she breathes. "Now... Are you going to tell me?" She looks at me so innocently, that if I hadn't already discovered just how UNinnocent she could be at times, I would have eaten it up, hook, line and sinker. A soft kiss graces my lips, as if she is coaxing me into telling her. I briefly shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I've always been skeptical of relationships. My mum could never seem to have one that didn't involve getting her heart broken in short order. I would listen to her crying at night when some prick had dumped her, but she was always so eager to get out there and meet another bloke. She was a believer in true love, you see. Always thought it was around the corner, and optimistic and all." I start to explain. "I could never understand her enthusiasm. It seemed ridiculous to me. My dad had fucked off when she was pregnant, he wasn't ready for the responsibility or some such bollocks. And after that it was an endless line of wankers who promised the world but would never deliver." Emily shifts off me and lays to my side, sliding her arm across my stomach, as I continue. "She said to me once, that the people who make you happy are never the people you expect. So when you find someone, you've got to cherish them. Odd words of wisdom from someone who used to always get their heart trampled on."

"Used to?"

"Yeah. She has been with one of my college lecturers for a few years now. Irish guy named Kieran. Funny sort of a bloke, but he treats her well and they get on quite well."

"And that hasn't changed your opinion?" Emily asked.

"Yes, and no. I guess it made it the exception to my belief. And that maybe love is just a one in a million thing." I mused.

"And that's why you have never dated anyone?"

I shrug. "Didn't see the need. Was busy with college and uni, and wasn't keen to waste my time with emotional stuff that I didn't need. Don't get me wrong, I shagged plenty of girls in college, but didn't get attached. I guess I was scared of falling in love in case we got separated... I wanted to go to uni in London, and Bristol is a bit far for a commute." Emily closes her eyes as she listens to me. "That's not to say I slept my way through, either. I've always been rather selective."

"That's a way of putting it. Some people might call you picky."

"They might. But it's better than being called easy or slutty." I said.

"I agree. My sister wears that name like a badge of pride." Emily laughs.

"Anyway. As we've both said before... One can't get by on masturbation alone..."

"Too true."

"So, if I needed physical contact, I'd go out and pull. Sometimes I couldn't be bothered. A couple of girls gave me their numbers, telling me if I ever wanted to meet up... You get the idea." I said.

Emily nods. "Haven't you ever wanted to be with someone?"

I smile. "If the world was perfect. But the world isn't a perfect place, Ems."

"I know. I just wanted to know whether you've ever wanted it, that's all."

"I'm human. I get lonely just like everyone else. So I guess at times I've wished to be with someone."

Emily looks up at me. "I want to be your someone." She says, succinctly.

"I know." I reply.

"You're scared, though."

"Yes. I told you, I don't want us to hurt each other." I said.

"Neither do I, Naoms. But how do we know that wouldn't happen anyway if we had gone on, and not said anything to one another?" Emily asks. "I want more, babe. The more we go on, the further I find myself falling for you." Her fingers tangle their way into the ends of my hair. "I thought I could help it, but I just can't anymore." she takes my hand and places it over her heart. "It's yours, Naomi. I want it to be yours."

"Emily..."

She cuts me off by kissing me slowly. But this is different to any other time she has kissed me. I've known her rough kisses, the ones that showed a hint of desperation right before she comes in my arms, and the soft ones after she has come down. But I have never known her to kiss me like this, as if she means it to be something more than a kiss. She is kissing me to tell me she loves me and wants me for more than just my body or my ability to get her off.

Her lips part from mine. "Do you understand?" She whispers in a shaky voice. Her eyes search mine for an answer. When I can't think of what to say, she leans in and kisses me again, tenderly this time, her tongue slipping in and moving against mine. And before I know it, I'm losing myself in it, kissing her back just as tenderly. I feel the butterflies floating in my stomach. They flap their wings furiously, before settling down as the kiss between us deepens. She continues to kiss me, her fingers threading through my hair. She elicits soft whimpers that come from my throat, slipping out in the small spaces where our lips part company.

"Yes…" the groan sneaks its way out from me, as she makes her way from my lips, kissing down my jaw line to my ear. Her name is on my lips and my fingers tangle their way through her hair as she slowly sucks on my neck.

She always knew just which spots got me worked up. She took her time discovering them all the first time. That's what made sex with her so addictive and so confusing. Because she had taken the time to learn what my body liked, she knew exactly what would get me off. Where to touch, how to touch me, how much pressure. Whether to bite, lick, stroke, or suck. And what was confusing, at least for me, was the little things she would do with me, things that people in our sort of arrangement shouldn't think of doing. She would look into my eyes, anchoring me to her gaze as she took me to heaven.

Even her kisses had different intent. She always kissed me with a sense of feeling, I used to think it was just my imagination but clearly not, in light of recent events. And she was the only one I've ever wanted to kiss. I rarely kissed any of the others. It's always felt a little intimate to me, and some of the girls I've slept with I haven't really wanted to kiss for any great length of time.

Emily was so different to any of them.

She made me take leave of my senses so often, I found myself unable to control myself around her if we were alone. And not just in a sexual way.

(Flashback - Emily's flat, Saturday afternoon.)

Emily had called me one morning, it was maybe a month or so after she had split with her girlfriend. There was an upset tone to her voice.

"Naoms... Can you come over?"

"Are you ok?" I asked her.

"I...I just..." She pauses. "Please?"

The pleading tone in her voice tore at my heart.

"Sure. I'll be over in about twenty minutes. Will that be ok?"

I hear her sniffle. "Yeah." There's a short pause. "Thanks."

"No problem. See you soon, yeah?"

I grabbed my jacket, scarf and keys and left my flat, wrapping the scarf comfortably around my neck, tucking the ends into my jacket. It was a brisk morning, and it looked like rain later in the day, I noticed the clouds as I walked through the streets. Soon enough I was climbing the stairs of Emily's building, and knocking on her door. The door opened slightly, about half an inch, and no further. I gently pushed it open, and stepped inside. The curtains were drawn, making her flat darker than it usually seemed. I shut the door behind me, and took my jacket off, hanging it off one of the hooks by the door. I walked over to the sofa where Emily sat, looking distracted. I kneeled down in front of her and placed my hand on her knee.

"Ems? Everything ok?" I asked, tentatively.

She raised her eyes to look at me. Her eyes looked sad, lonely even. Her hair was tied into a messy ponytail, and her fringe hung over her eyes. She wore a baggy shirt and a pair of pyjama pants.

"Sit with me, Naoms." She says, her voice sounding tired. I sit down on the sofa next to her, and watch her as she carefully looks me up and down. It's when she slides herself under my arm and leans against me that I know what she's after. The last few weeks had been hard on her, what with Alice leaving, and there were a couple of times when she had just wanted someone to hold her.

I pull her into me, feeling the warmth of her body as she clings to me, burying her head in my shoulder. "Thank you so much." She whispers, softly.

"You ok, Ems?" I ask again, my voice gentle. Her arms squeeze me once, and I feel her sigh against my neck.

"I just... I had a bad dream. I needed someone to hold me." she says, wearily. I draw her closer, and just sit with her. She fiddles with the collar of my shirt. She is silent, and so am I. I listen to, and feel her breathing next to me. It has the effect of calming what I'm feeling inside. I'm not used to spending this much time alone with Emily without being naked.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" She finally asks, after a long silence between us.

"No, of course not." I replied.

"I'd hate to think I was interrupting your day."

"Then you're lucky I have this one free." I say with a playful tone. This makes Emily laugh slightly. "You want to tell me what your dream was about?"

"It was about Alice." She says, before sniffling. "I dreamed that I caught her. You know, in the...act."

"Oh." I reply. "I can't imagine that being pleasant."

Emily huffs. "No, I suppose not. I'm glad I never actually caught her at it. It was bad enough in my subconscious."

"It was just a dream, Ems." I say, softly stroking her hair. It surprised me how much this girl made me care about her. I'd never felt any sort of emotion, other than friendship, for anyone, other than my mum. But Emily had managed to melt through whatever unconscious barriers I had put up around myself, because here I was, in the flat of the girl who was becoming more than just a friend-with-benefits.

If you're shagging someone, and it's just sex, you usually don't comfort them after bad dreams.

"You look tired, babe. How much sleep have you had?" I ask her, kissing the top of her head softly.

"Not much. Was up late. Woke up at four. Couldn't get back to sleep." She replies in short sentences.

"C'mon then." I say, getting up and pulling her up with me. "We're going to bed."

She looks at me, like I'm a bit crazy. "How is sex going to solve my tiredness?"

I stare at her, before taking her hand and leading her into her bedroom. "You don't need sex right now, Emily. You need sleep." I explain, sitting her down on her side of the bed. She lays back and I pull the duvet over her. I strip down to my knickers and bra and slip under the duvet, laying beside her. I reach behind her head and pull her hair tie out. "Turn over, with your back to me." I ask, waiting as she turns onto her side. I lay my arm across her waist and pull her body close to mine.

She slowly relaxes into me. "Naomi..."

"Shhh..." I whisper into her ear. "Close your eyes and sleep. I'll stay with you."

She exhales slowly in my arms, I can feel the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. I keep my arms wrapped protectively around her. I close my own eyes and have to stop my thoughts from wandering too far. I was already wishing I could have been here for her when she woke up, to hold her and comfort her when she really needed it. So she wouldn't have had to wait hours alone, restless, sleepless, wishing for someone to hold her.

"Em?"

"Yeah..." She replies, her voice sleepy.

"Call me when you wake up next time, ok?"

"Ok."

There's a brief silence.

"Why?" She asks, softly.

"No one should have to be alone after a bad dream." I hope it suffices as an explanation. I'm breaking my own rules enough by being here, let alone telling her the real reason, that I wanted to be the one to comfort her when she woke up like that. I softly kiss across her shoulders, not meaning it as a sexual gesture, but one that is intimate and caring.

"Hmm. And here I was thinking you just wanted me for my body." She says, as she finally drifts off into sleep, and I'm left wondering what she meant by that. I softly kiss the back of her neck.

"No... Not just for your body." I whisper to myself, barely loud enough for her to hear, even if she was still awake, but I can feel that her breathing has evened out already.

Emily was the most vibrant person I had met, she had an amazing personality. As far as I was concerned, her ex was an idiot for even thinking of straying, let alone leaving her. It was hard for me to see her looking so broken, and to see her in this state after her dream almost broke my heart. I had gone to her flat because the sound in her voice pulled strongly at the part of me that wanted to comfort her. It had outweighed my desire for her body, for the first time in our arrangement.

Her hands laid across my own, which were linked across her stomach. I nuzzled into her hair and breathed her in. Her scent was something that had become familiar to me, and something that was having both the effect of calming me and turning my insides to jelly all at once. I wasn't as tired as Emily was. But lying next to her like this allowed a calm to settle over me, and I found my eyes closing soon enough.

The next thing I realise, is Emily shifting beside me, her hands clinging to mine tightly.

"Baby?" She whispers, her voice thick from sleeping.

"It's ok, Ems.. I'm here." I gently kiss her ear and draw her close to me. I feel her yawn and exhale slowly.

"What are we doing in bed?" she asks. She must really have been tired.

"You had a bad dream, remember? You called me... I came over..."

"We didn't..."

"No, Ems... You needed to sleep, so I took you to bed. Just to sleep, yeah?" I assure her.

"Oh." I can't help but note there's a slight amount of disappointment to her voice.

She turns around to face me, snuggling against my body. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better." She says, softly. Then, her expression changes, and she bites her bottom lip. "Did we just... Sleep together without having sex?"

"Yeah, but if it's awkward, we could just say I did you a favour."

She says nothing, but raises my hand to her lips and kisses the palm softly.

"Ems... Feel free to tell me it's none of my business... But how have you been doing? I mean... After, you know."

"After my ex cheated on me and walked out?" Emily says, a slight edge in her voice. "Fan-tastic." Her tone is flat, emotionless.

I frown. "Do you expect me to believe that?"

"Guess not." She shrugs. "Most of the time I'm just...dealing with it I suppose. Sometimes I break down over it. Would be easier if Katie wasn't trying to be the overbearing sister and look after me."

"Did you call me instead of her?"

She hesitates to answer me. "Would it make a difference if I did?"

"To what?"

"What this is."

"I don't know. Not if we don't want it to." I said.

Emily shakes her head. "I don't want it to." She says. "But yes, I did."

"Ok." I reply. "It's ok, Ems. I said if you needed a friend... Just didn't expect that-"

"Naoms... You already know about the shit with Alice. Katie only knows part of it, and she would have given me more of the third degree than I could handle." The redhead explains. "I needed someone to make me feel better. Not talk my ear off about how much of a cunt my ex is."

"Then I'm glad I could be here for you." I tell her, kissing her forehead softly.

"Why are you single? In spite of your no bullshit persona at work, you really are a caring person. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Why are you shagging your co-worker on the sly when you could make any girl happy?" She asks in a playful tone, as she runs her fingers across my shoulders.

"I told you, Ems. Relationships are messy. It's so I don't end up calling my co-worker at nine on a Saturday morning because I've not slept all night because of a bad dream about my ex."

"Ouch." Emily says, sounding hurt.

"Fuck. Sorry, that wasn't really how I meant that to sound..." I stammer, trying to cover.

Emily giggles. "Gotcha."

I exhale, and break into a small smile. "Cheeky."

"I guess I don't fully understand how you can sleep with me and not want something else."

Because I'm too chicken to tell you I think I love you? I sigh. "It's just... Easier." I can't tell her, I can't. I know I want something else, and it terrifies me. But I can't tell her that, in case it fucks everything up.

"Ok. But one day you'll give me a real answer."

"Maybe." I say. "What time is it?"

"A little after two." Emily says, picking up her phone from the bedside table. "So I guess we've missed breakfast and lunch."

"Why don't you go take a shower? I'll make you some coffee." I ask her.

"Sounds good." She says, stretching her limbs out. Her eyes meet mine as her arms slip around my neck. She pulls me close and kisses me slowly, slipping her tongue against mine. Just before I can lose myself in the feel of her lips against mine, she pulls away. She clears her throat. "Hmm. Thanks, for... You know." I nod slowly, and she slides out from under the duvet, stripping off her t-shirt and pyjama pants as she walks into the bathroom. Once I hear the water running, I get out of bed, pulling on my jeans and buttoning up my shirt, leaving it untucked. Walking out into the kitchen, I start the kettle and set about preparing the coffee. As soon as I've poured the water in and stirred the drinks, Emily comes into the kitchen.

"Ah, coffee." She says, as I hand her one of the cups. She takes a sip and smiles. "It's great, thanks."

"Welcome."

"Got any plans tonight?" She asks. A question she's never really asked before.

"Oh, uh... Yeah, I do actually. A friend is dragging me out for drinks." I answer. It was a lie, but I suddenly felt uncomfortable around her. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I didn't know if she wanted me to stay for sex, or whether she was going to suggest going out with her, which would have felt too much like a date.

"Sounds fun." She tells me, as her eyes drop. She looks back up at me. Her eyes are dark as they look at me, and I think she is searching for something, or trying to ask me something, asking me to stay with her. "Some friends are taking me out to a club. Apparently I need to get out more."

"You don't sound too happy about it, Ems."

"I'm not. Honestly I'd rather just spend the night at home watching television."

I finish my coffee. "Might do you some good, to get out. Have some fun, let that hair of yours down." I say, standing up to rinse my cup and put it in the sink.

"Yeah? You think?" I can't not notice how timid her voice sounds.

"Ha... If I ran into you, Ems... Definitely." I reply, calmly. I can only look at her briefly as I say it. I fear what will happen if I hold her gaze for too long. "Will you be alright?" I ask her.

"I should be." Her voice is quiet. The sort of quiet that sends a chill up your spine. The sort of response that means "I want you to stay with me." As opposed to "No, really... I'll be fine. You go on."

I walk to her and give her a hug, feeling her relax into my arms. It's with a combined feeling of dread and regret that I let go of her, albeit slowly. I leave her flat and begin my walk home. All I was really going to do was sit on the couch and watch crap television, maybe drink some wine. I thought to myself that maybe I should get out myself, and do something to take my mind off the conundrum that had become my relationship with Emily.

Wait... Relationship? WHAT?!

Fuck!

(Naomi POV - Present day - Naomi's flat.)

The next thing I happen to realise is that Emily has snuggled in beside me, and she is kissing my neck softly.

"Babe?" Her husky voice filters into my ear.

I turn to face her, and kiss her, slowly. "I'm sorry." I say. "I was just... Remembering. You know... Last week when you called me over to yours."

Her brow furrows for a few moments as she tries to recollect the day. I watch as her expression evens out and takes on a peaceful look. "I remember." She tells me, as she squeezes my torso gently. "And you were right, I should have called you a lot sooner. I wanted to..."

"You should have. When you told me how long you had been awake, I was actually mad that you hadn't called me when you woke up."

"You hid it well." she laughs. "I didn't pick up on you being upset. Although... Maybe I was just too tired to notice properly."

"You were though... When I told you I was going out that night." I tell her. I knew she was, I saw it on her face that day, and I saw the same look now as she lay next to me.

"I was going to text you that day anyway... Obviously for a different reason." Emily admits.

"Oh, that's typical." I say, sarcastically. "If you had, I probably would have come over." The end of my sentence breaks into a nervous chuckle.

"Jesus. Bloody nightmare." She almost says this under her breath. "I really wanted you to stay. I just couldn't ask you. I was already so shocked you had stayed with me and slept... Actually slept with me without it leading to sex. You know how I told you I didn't call Katie because she would just talk my ear off?"

"Yes."

"I didn't even think of calling her first. I only thought about calling you. I had been feeling more and more like I wanted, or needed you near me. It just took me so long to get the courage up to do so."

I'm not sure how we've managed to be so stupid.

"We really are a couple of twats, aren't we?" I mumble.

"Now it clicks." Emily giggles, with a sarcastic tone.

"Smartarse." I grin.

"I've slowly found my way into you, though. You are more open with me than you used to be. I think what we were doing both thrilled you and scared you. I know it did to me."

I look her in the eye. Maybe it's the alcohol. But I'm guessing it's something totally opposite to that. But I feel like a complete idiot at this point in time. My own principles have got in the way of the possibility of a relationship... wow, it still freaks me out to say that.

"Naomi..." Before she can say anything else I kissed her lips. I didn't have the words for the feelings that were going through me. They were the feelings I had for her that had been pushed down, ignored, and outright obliterated. The only way I felt able to express them was to place my lips against hers and kiss her with as much of the feeling as I could muster.

I finally pull my lips away from hers, and lean my head against hers. "Oh, god." She whispers softly. If not for the sensation of her breath against my lips, I might not have even noticed. My ears felt like they had cotton wool in them, as well as me hearing a consistent thumping sound: the beating of my own heart. "Naomi, talk to me." Emily says, calmly placing her hands on my shoulders as I trail soft kisses down her neck. "Naomi..." Her gentle voice brings me back, and I don't fight her. She gently pushes me away.

I look into her chocolate eyes. "I can't find the words, Emily." I close my eyes and swallow, opening my eyes again to find her curiously staring at me.

"You've been doing it for ages. We both have. Why is it so hard to find the words? Why is it something that can only be expressed in bed?" She has this childlike curiosity about how she asks me. With a sense of innocence that I've never encountered.

"Maybe I've been locked up for too long." I reply.

"Locked up? Kinky." Emily laughs.

"I mean my heart. I've guarded it too much. I almost stayed with you that night. But turns out we caught up with each other, anyway."

"Yeah. We did. Funny of your friend to take you to the same club my friends took me to." Emily said.

"Yeah." I reply. I'm almost tempted to tell her that there was actually no friend there that night, and that I'd gone out hoping to run into her. I had told her that the friend I was with had gone home after getting an emergency text. She was with her friend when we ran into each other, but I was alone.

"You looked beautiful that night. You looked a lot happier." I tell her.

"I was surprised to see you. You... Literally made my night." Emily admits. "I was about to go home before that, actually. I was about five minutes away from telling Katie I was leaving." I gently stroke her hair while she tells me. "I waited as long as I could before I texted you. It took everything for me to not just grab you then and there. I wanted you so bad."

(Emily POV - Nightclub - night after Emily's nightmare.)

I don't know what I'm doing here. If Katie and her flatmate hadn't nagged me, I wouldn't have bothered coming out tonight. I'd have stayed home with a DVD, and a pizza. Maybe a bottle of wine.

I should have plucked up the courage and asked Naomi to stay. I was more thankful than I could say, that she had come over when I asked her to. I wasn't sure she would have. I just needed someone to be with... Someone who I could just sit with, have them hold me, and not have it have to mean anything. Naomi and I knew each other intimately, but there was no expectation with us. It surprised me, when she said that I should have called her sooner. It also set off the butterflies in my stomach I'd been trying so hard to ignore.

Katie is off getting us drinks, and her friend and I are making our way through the crowd. I see a flash of blonde hair off to the side of my vision. I take a look, and recognise the person I see. It's Naomi. I guess by coincidence we ended up at the same club. Her eyes latch onto mine and a look of surprise crosses her face as she recognises me. She comes over to me.

"Hi, Emily." she says, with a smile. "London must have shrunk this evening."

"Yeah. Naomi, hi. Strange running into you here. You're here with a friend, right?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. They had to leave, though. Flatmate emergency. I was just gonna have another drink and then go home..." She replies.

"Oh, right."

We stand there awkwardly for a few moments. "You're looking much better." She says, leaning in towards me and placing her hand on my arm. "I'm glad."

"Thanks." I reply, with a soft smile. "I'd better go," I tell her, "Katie is off buying drinks. It was good to see you, though. I'll see you Monday." I nod, and we part ways.

I'm making my way through the crowd, and I can't help but feel the heat on my arm from where her hand touched me. She has been on my mind all day, and I thought coming here might take my mind off her, and everything else that was bothering me. But I guess not. Looks like I was going to have to sort it.

I pulled out my phone, and sent her a text message.

"Still here? xEmilyx"

I minute later, I received my reply.

"Yes. xNaomix"

"Good. Meet me in the toilets? xEmilyx"

Not the most respectable of locations, but it would have to do.

I ducked into the harsh lightning of the white tiled room, thankful for the fact that no one else was in here. The door opened, and she came in, looking at me curiously.

"What's up, Ems?" She asked.

Without saying a word, I took her hand and led her into one of the cubicles, locking the door behind us. I pushed her against the wall and threaded my fingers through her hair, pulling her in for a long, deep kiss. Her lips moved fast against mine, and her hands dove under the shirt I was wearing and traced across the skin of my lower back. "I want you." I whispered hurriedly, my hands landing on her waistband and undoing the button. She licked and sucked her way down my neck, and I heard the sound as she unzipped my own jeans, and shoved her hand inside my knickers.

The tips of my fingers dug into the back of her neck as she stroked her fingers down my clit, and I groaned and dug the fingers of my other hand into her stomach as she pushed two of hers inside my already soaking wetness. I slid my own hand into her knickers and slipped my fingers inside her, causing her to moan loudly. Thank god no one else was in here. We said nothing more during our quick shag, gasps following moans following more gasps. This time it was intense, it was passionate. It was also over way too soon. My head tilted backwards as Naomi sucked hard on my neck, my fingers clinging onto her shoulders as my orgasm shot through me, her muscles clenching around my fingers.

I rested my head on her shoulder, the rush still coursing through me, my breath coming in rough pants. I lay gentle kisses up and down her neck, still holding onto her for what felt like dear life.

"Let me buy you a drink..." I mumbled, as I nibbled her earlobe. She pulls back to look at me, her expression curious. "I think it's time we got to know each other a bit, don't you?"

She simply nodded, and after straightening ourselves up, I led her back into the club, and all the way to the bar.

"What do you want to drink?" I asked.

"Vodka and lemonade." She replied. I flagged down a bartender and ordered them for us, and we waited while they were made for us. I led her to a booth at the back of the club, and sat down, and watched her as she sat down opposite me.

"So... What do you want to know?" Naomi asked me.

I stare at her. I wonder for a moment whether she will answer me. "I can ask anything, right?" She nods. "If I'd have asked you this afternoon... To stay... Would you have?"

Her blue eyes are boring into me. She takes a long sip from her drink and sets it back on to the table. "I don't know. Possibly not. It might not have been the right thing to do."

"Screw right or wrong, Naoms. I wanted you to stay, I should have just asked and not chickened out." I say, looking down towards my drink.

"Emily... Don't, ok?" Naomi places her hand on mine. "Don't go there, please."

"Why not?" I ask her, not failing to note the sadness in her tone. Her eyes meet mine, and the look she gives me is pleading. She says nothing, but just squeezes my hand tightly in hers. And it's in that moment that I know. Naomi does feel something for me, but for whatever reason, won't admit it. "Ok. I'll drop it." I tell her, raising my hand in surrender. Her eyes drop to the table, to my other hand that she has her own clasped around. We finish our drinks in silence, sharing looks as the time goes on, and Naomi's hand doesn't leave mine, she gives it the occasional squeeze.

"Want to come back to mine?" I ask her. She looks thoughtful for a minute, and then nods. We make our way through the club to the exit, and Naomi hails a cab. I give the driver the address, and he begins to drive. Naomi's hand is still in mine, something that hasn't escaped my notice. I definitely can't miss the sensation that runs through me when she rubs her thumb across the back of my hand. When we got into my flat, Naomi took her jacket off and hung it up. I crossed the room to the lounge and sat on the sofa, leaning my head back against the cushion, my eyes falling shut. I try and breathe for a minute to collect myself, but I can hear Naomi walking towards me. I feel the sofa dip as she sits next to me.

"Ems?" She asks. The quiet tone of her voice bothers me slightly.

I turn my head to face her and open my eyes. "Yeah?"

The look she gives me, tells me that she is torn about something. She goes to say something, and I lean across and place my lips against hers to stop her. Her hand moves up to thread through my hair, as we kiss slowly, lingeringly. "We don't have to talk... If you don't want to." I tell her, when our lips separate. "I'm sorry I asked you."

Naomi looks at me, curiously. "No, Emily. You're not. You meant to ask me. I'm just sorry I couldn't give you an answer. There's a reason I can't, and I can't even tell you what that is, either."

I hold her hand in mine and squeeze it gently. It just feels right, somehow. "Do you think you will ever be able to tell me?" I ask her.

Naomi sighs. "It's not what we are, Ems. I don't want that to change."

"I know." I reply, rubbing my thumb across the back of her hand. "But something is bothering you, and I can tell it has something to do with me."

"It doesn't-"

"I'm not a fool, Naomi." I say, simply.

"Right."

"You won't say it to me. I don't know why. And that's ok, I can wait until you are ready to." I tell her. "But don't bullshit me and tell me it doesn't have anything to do with me, because I don't think I could bear it if you lie to me, Naoms."

"Ok." She nods, slowly. "Then I won't lie to you." She leans in and kisses me slowly, and I'm trying to stop the fluttering of my heart as her lips move against mine. Her kiss is different, usually it's filled with lust, passion... This time it's tender and tentative, almost as if she loves...

No! It couldn't be, could it?

She drags me off the sofa and into my bedroom, and we pull each others clothes off as we go. We crash onto my bed, Naomi on top of me, her hands moving carefully over my body, rubbing, caressing. It's turning me on, as well as reminding me of the first night we slept together. From the first drunken, stoned shag, to the subsequent three times where I lost myself, in spite of our agreement, and took the time to learn every inch of her beautiful body. After the first time, there were no frantic touches, it was slow, methodical exploration that I was undertaking, as though I would never get to sleep with her again. She had taken me to ecstasy and back, and I had repaid the favour, and whether we acknowledged it or not, we formed a connection between us that night, that had just kept growing between us, and somehow, it was now something that Naomi couldn't properly keep a hold of anymore.

No more words were spoken as our bodies intertwined with one another. The first time may have been drukenly frantic, the second may have been exploration, but this was different, whether the two of us chose to acknowledge it or not. This time, we were making love to each other. It was so tender, and so sweet, and passionate, I had to fight my own self to remain wordless as my orgasm tore a hole through me, and not cry out the three words I found myself longing to cry. I settled, instead, for wrapping myself up in her arms while I slept. Letting her protect me from bad dreams, and feeling for once that she loved me.

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone. She had already left, leaving me a note on the kitchen table, telling me to call if I needed anything, and that she would see me at work on Monday. I tried to ignore the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I picked up my phone and sent her a text.

"The only thing I needed was for you to stay. xEmilyx"

The vulnerable truth. A few minutes, and I got a reply.

"Sorry, Ems. I had something to do. Was there something you needed? xNaomix"

Yeah, just you. I type up a reply.

"Doesn't this get old for you? That all we do is fuck and never...talk or anything? xEmilyx"

Take that, Campbell.

"It doesn't. No strings, remember? We both get what we want that way. And it's not like we don't talk. I told you, if you need the ear, I'll lend you mine. xNaomix"

I can tell she's being diplomatic with me. She's using her work persona to keep either herself, or worse still, me, at arms length.

"Just how long do you think we can keep doing this, Naoms? I know what we are, but it doesn't stop the way I feel about you. xEmilyx"

After a few minutes, I received another reply.

"I'll talk to you about it soon. Sorry, I've got to go. I'll see you at work. xNaomix"

If that wasn't the world's most obvious brush-off, I don't know what is.

The next day at work, we had an editor's meeting in the boardroom. Naomi sat across from me, and could barely look at me. I knew what I had said had rattled her somehow, because it was the first time I had known her and she had not been able to look at me. Once the meeting had ended, I had planned to get her attention and try and at least agree on a time when we could talk.

"Oh, Campbell! I need to talk to you about your ongoing election coverage, can I see you in my office?" McClair, the general editor asked.

"Uh, sure, Freddie. Right away." She replied. The look she gave me was semi apologetic, as she followed Freddie to his office. I scowled, obviously I wasn't going to get my chance with her right now.

"C'mon, Emsy. Time for a coffee, yeah?" Katie said, walking in the direction of the lift. The cafeteria was downstairs, and once the doors of the lift shut, Katie was on my case.

"What is it with you, today? You look all mopey. Still not pining over Alice, are you?"

"No, Katie. I'm just a bit tired, that's all."

"Oh yeah? You never told me who you went home with the other night."

I roll my eyes. "Not like that, Katie. I just didn't get much sleep last night. I was home alone, not that it's really any of your business."

The lift gets to the ground floor and opens, and Katie steps out into the foyer, her heels clicking on the tiles. "Well, you half look like microwaved shit, babes, you need to wake up, yeah?"

I shook my head and followed her into the café. She stepped up to the counter. "Two large macchiatos, thanks Benji, one with two sugars and one with none."

"Coming up, Katie. You're looking lovely this morning, by the way." Replied Benji.

Katie smiled. "Nice try, I'm still not going out with you."

"Ah, can't blame a guy for trying. What about you, Emily?"

"Still gay, Benji." I reply, giving him a half smile.

"And several men are still crying over that fact, love." Benji smirked.

We both sit down as Benji sets about making our coffees, and I become preoccupied with my phone, checking for any sign that Naomi actually wants to talk to me. But there are no messages. I decide to send her one instead.

"Hey. Can we talk at some point today? xEmilyx"

I'm distracted from my phone by Katie clearing her throat. I look up and she already has her eyebrow raised at me. I really wish it was Naomi sitting across from me right now.

"What?" I say.

"You're being very odd this morning. Don't think I didn't notice you were staring at Campbell all the way through the meeting. What's going on?" Katie asks. A cold shiver goes through me. No one is supposed to know that I'm shagging Naomi, and I'm assuming that extends to my sister, seeing as she works with us.

"Nothing's going on, Katie. Naomi and I are just colleagues, nothing more."

"Huh. Looked like a bit more than that to me." Katie scoffed.

"It's nothing, Kay. Leave it, ok?" I tell her, giving her a look that makes it clear that it's none of her business. At that moment, Benji brings over our coffees.

"Benji, you're a lifesaver." I say, taking my cup from him and holding it in my hands to warm them up. I take a sip. "Perfect." Benji smiles and then wanders off behind the counter to serve his other customers.

My phone buzzes, and I read the reply Naomi has sent me.

"It's a bit of a busy day, Ems. Can I get back to you? xNaomix"

I sighed.

"You will talk to me eventually, Naoms. xEmilyx"

"Yeah. Just not right now. I'm sorry. xNaomix"

I frown and put my phone back in my pocket, and look up to find Katie staring at me, smirking.

"So... You going to tell me who it is?" She asks.

"Who?"

"Whoever it is you are texting. Must be someone you fancy."

"I told you to leave it, Katie." I snap, standing up and grabbing my coffee. "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back soon."

I exit the building and walk to the park nearby, taking a seat on a bench under a tree. It's a cool day outside, and it sort of makes me wish I had grabbed my jacket before I went down to the foyer. The only thing keeping me warm is a thin cardigan and my black and red scarf. My hands curl around my large coffee cup, which is gratefully keeping me warm. I wish I didn't know what was happening to make Naomi clam up so much, but I do. It's just confirming my suspicion even more, that she does feel something for me, like I do for her, but she's ignoring it for whatever reason. If I only knew why, I could maybe understand. I'm not sure I could accept it completely, but there has to be a reason why she's me keeping me at so much of a distance.

I wonder what might have happened if I had called her when I'd woken up from the dream, and not hours later. What if I'd been more coherent? Could we have talked about it then? The only person I thought of calling that night was Naomi. The shock of the dream had me dysfunctional for a long time afterwards. I tried so hard to get back to sleep, but my mind was clouded, not only by the flashes of the dream that remained, but also by constant thoughts of Naomi. It was in those moments that I realised that what Naomi and I were doing together wasn't enough for me anymore. I had never really just wanted her for her body to begin with, but her conditions on our arrangement caused me to me keep quiet about how I felt for her. That, and the fact that to begin with, I was still with someone.

After Alice left me, to say I wasn't heartbroken is a bit of a myth. Of course I was. I'd been with her for three years, after all. But my heartbreak was mixed with anger, and disbelief as to why she cheated. It was true that I'd suspected it, so while it didn't come as a total shock, the fact that she was just walking out on me without much discussion was. The first person I called then, was Katie. She came over and consoled me, because I was upset over it. It was true that she never liked Alice, but she was still my sister, and we had consoled each other over break-ups since we were teenagers. At least it made up for the three days of constant blubbering I put up with when that tosser football player dumped her for some airhead blonde girl with bigger tits.

I sat in the park, drinking my coffee slowly. It was still warm, not having yet cooled to that stage where it almost becomes undrinkable. It was interesting to just watch the people in the park. A couple of people walking their dogs, some parents walking with their kids. At least it took my mind off my own thoughts, which just centred around Naomi in a way that I couldn't consciously stop anymore.

When I returned to the office, Naomi wasn't at her desk. In fact, her desk was so tidy, it looked like she hadn't even come in for the day. That's when I had two realisations. Naomi had gone home sick, because she couldn't face me. What's more, I was in love with her, and I couldn't deny it any longer.

When she didn't come in for the rest of the week, I knew she was ignoring me. She was fobbing off my request to talk. I didn't push her, because the situation between us seemed so utterly fragile, and I figured I would just wait for her to finally come to me in her own time. By the time it got to Friday, and I'd not yet heard from her, nor seen a glimpse of her at the office, and it was frustrating me to no end. I left her alone for another night, just to give her the benefit of the doubt. But by Saturday morning, I had just about had enough of Naomi blatantly ignoring me.

By late morning, I was already on my way to her flat. The butterflies in my stomach were making me feel sick, and I almost puked up my coffee because I was so nervous. Thankfully, I felt a little calmer by the time I reached her building, though not much. I walked up the four flights of stairs, and then found myself facing her front door. I gave a deep sigh and knocked on the door. The door swung open. "I thought I told you- ...Emily?" Naomi looked surprised to see me.

"You haven't told me much of anything lately." I muttered, walking past her and into her flat.

"Hi. Come in. Make yourself at home." Naomi said, sarcastically. I took off my jacket and tossed it over the back of the sofa. I turned to face her, and I must have had a look that could have killed on my face. "Uh... Beer?" She asked, as if she was completely lost. Looks like I've caught her off guard, then.

"...Yeah." I replied, sitting down. She went over to the fridge and pulled out two beers, opening one and handing it to me. I took a really long swig, and then put the beer on the table. She sat down across from me, and for a long while she didn't say anything. I finished my beer rather quickly, and she stood up and got me another, sliding it across the table. I opened it myself and fiddled with the label, taking another long sip.

The tension between us was doing my head in.

"So..." I said.

"Ems..." Naomi said.

(Naomi POV - Present day - Naomi's flat.)

"I should have asked you to stay." Emily says.

"And I should have stayed anyway." I reply.

"Oh, god. We really are idiots, aren't we?" She laughs into my shoulder as she says it.

I draw her close to me. "At least we're here now." I kiss the top of her head. "Ems?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry for not being able to talk to you about it." I tell her. The least she deserves is an apology for the way I've behaved.

"Yeah, well... At least we're talking about it now." She concedes. "What does this mean, though? What are we now?"

"You're asking me? I've got no fucking idea, Ems. You're the one who's done relationships, not me."

"So, this is a relationship, then?" Emily asks.

I shrug. "Can we still call it no-strings shagging?"

Emily laughs. "I don't think so." She kisses me softly. "Look, I know you're new to this. We can take it one step at a time, if you want." I look at her, searching her brown eyes. She's regarding me carefully, like she's anxious to hear my response.

"One step at a time?" I ask.

She nods, and leans in and kisses me softly.

I've lived this long without having an attachment to someone. But I have become more attached to Emily than I meant to, and seeing as we both felt the same way, it didn't seem like it made much sense to keep on as we were. Maybe it was about time I let someone love me, time that I let myself try and love someone.

"Ok, then." I nod.

I watch as Emily breaks into a big smile. And it has the effect of making my heart skip, even more than it does when I see her every day. It makes me smirk and then that develops into a smile of my own. She presses her lips to mine, and the kiss feels completely different to any other kiss we have shared. There have been many kisses, and I admit that I do like kissing Emily. She would have to be one of the only girls I've enjoyed kissing. But with this kiss, she's telling me more than we've been telling each other verbally for months.

I feel it in my stomach. Not the sense of lust that has always been present every time I've been with Emily, but the love I have for her, which I've ignored, or pushed out of my mind for so long. I deepen the kiss, pulling her closer towards me, and her lips move in sync with mine.

"Naomi?" Her voice is quiet after our lips part.

"Yeah?"

"I want you." She says, her fingertips slipping up under the hem of my shirt. "I want you like I've never had you."

Her eyes are locked onto mine. Her gorgeous chocolate orbs are staring into my own eyes, trusting and curious, and it makes me wonder what she means. It's not until she kisses me again, and rolls on top of me that I realise exactly what she means.

So, I let myself go, and trust her with everything that I've kept locked up in my own mind. It was the strangest, most terrifying sense of freedom I've ever experienced with someone, and I think it was something that Emily sensed, because for once, the interaction between us was neither clumsy, nor hurried. It was slow, tender and sensual, and the way we moved together was infinitely more fluid than any other time we had been together.

She slowly pulled my clothes off, and spilled kisses over my skin from head to toe. Her fingertips followed, along with soft licks and gentle bites. She knew what turned me on, and instead of just doing it for the sake of getting me off, she was now doing it so tenderly, she was showing me her love, sharing that one intimate part of her that no one else had any privy to. Emily was making me hers, and it was so beautiful, it was luring me in with its seductiveness, and I found myself returning her touches.

My senses are filled with the some new thing that feels more powerful and rewarding to me than any other time I've had sex with Emily. Or anyone else. It's perfect. So absolutely perfect that I have to stop myself from crying, because this is something I've never felt before. The feeling I felt when I slept with her, it was always marked with some kind of intensity, at first it was purely sexual, and the first night I realised I was in much deeper than I could handle, because I knew that what I felt for her was more than just sexual.

But this was entirely different. This was me finally letting myself experience all the emotion that I had suppressed every single time since that first night I spent with her in my bed. I had shagged Emily countless times, I've done so with many other girls. Emily is by far the best of them all. I've never had any of the others get me off like she does.

She knows how to tease. The good thing about the acquaintances I've had with other girls? You get to learn a lot about what you (and others) like in bed. You might get a girl who is into a bit of slap and tickle, or someone who likes it spontaneous. And you might find you like some of these things, too. It helped me work out what I like, anyway, as well as broadening my horizons... So when Emily suggested tying me up... I wasn't horrified by the idea.

I really enjoyed it.

Really.

I couldn't believe she had never had sex in the shower, though. Rectified that, right her onto that one.

But anyway, I digress.

Her body. Her body is all over mine, and I know I'm getting close. Her fingers are deep inside me, thumb rubbing against my clit. My own fingers are buried deep inside her wetness, and Emily sucks at my neck, something that she now knows drives me insane, after discovering it the first time she tied me up.

We push each other up the hill to the edge of the cliff, and we are both breathing hard, my own coming with groans, I am as close to coming as she is, and when she looks at me, stares at me with lust, but also such emotion in her eyes. We know each others bodies backwards, and we are both doing what we know will make the other tumble over into ecstasy.

"Emily...please..."

"Fuck...Naomi!"

"I love you." She moans, and I close my eyes, throwing my head back into the pillows and moaning Emily's name in response, along with a series of words that would make my mother smirk as the pleasure consumes me. She brings me back down gently, and wraps her arms around my neck and places a series of gentle soft kisses against my lips. She pulls the duvet over us both, and I find myself snuggling into her embrace.

"Ems?"

"Yeah, Naoms?"

I bite my bottom lip gently. "I... Love you too."

She gives me a soft smile and then kisses me again.

"Sleep now, baby, ok?" Emily says. I nod, and close my eyes. She softly strokes my hair as I slowly fall asleep. And for the first time, I feel more content than I ever have.

Emily stayed at mine the rest of the weekend. We spent a lot of time talking, even though it would seem the opposite, seeing as we didn't really leave my bed much. She got so tired of hearing her phone go off with messages from her sister, she ended up just turning it off.

"She doesn't know where I am." She told me, as she laid her head on my chest on Sunday morning. "But she worries. I'll deal with her later, though."

"Won't she be mad?" I ask her.

"Probably livid, and I won't hear about anything else for a week, but nothing like that can bother me right now." She replies, tracing patterns on my naked stomach with her fingertip. "I'm with you, and everything outside your door has no meaning for me right now."

I draw her closer to me. She says things like that sometimes. It makes me wonder again how her ex ever entertained the notion of straying. Maybe she was just greedy, but Emily being as seductive as she is, I can't understand how she could have not been satisfied with her. I mean, I certainly am, and wouldn't dream of sleeping with someone else; I haven't wanted to since I started shagging Emily.

"Naoms? You ok?"

Her voice brings me out of my thoughts. I nod my head, and kiss her forehead. "Just thinking." I reply.

"About what?"

"Mmm... I don't want it to upset you, or anything, ok?"

"Ok..." She says, hesitantly.

"I... Was thinking about your ex, actually. I think she's a complete fool for straying." I begin, nervously. "I mean... You say that to me... About being with me and not caring what's going on outside... And it makes me feel good. Makes me feel wanted, and it's beautiful. You say it to me and I don't ever want to let you go."

"Babe, you realise if she hadn't, we wouldn't be here now?" Emily points out, without needing to.

"I know that. But it still doesn't stop the thought."

"You're right, though. She IS an idiot. I'm a catch!" She winks. "I mean, really... Who would stray, when you have this?" Emily smirks, gesturing towards herself, as if to say "here I am!". It makes me smile. I like this side of Emily. She has quite the sense of humour, as I've discovered, both in the times when we would just talk, or in the last month since we finally got our shit together. If anything, it's made her more endearing to me, and has made me fall more for her than I thought I was in the first place.

I've known for a long time that I've been in love with Emily. It killed me sometimes, to have to put a lid on how I felt about her, for so many reasons; my position at work, my own principles and hang-ups. But the realisation came to me, as I was in her arms that Saturday morning, comforting her after her bad dreams, that I could no longer keep my feelings bottled up when it came to her. I knew that as soon as she joked that she thought she just wanted me for her body, and my reply that I didn't slipped out before my brain could stop me.

Maybe it was because I was wrapped around her at that point, in such a strange way, compared to how it normally was between us. It was the first time that Emily and I had been in a bed and NOT had sex. Sometimes it was hard for me to sleep with her in either her bed, or mine. I wasn't always comfortable with sleeping with her. To me, it seemed like it overstepped the no-strings part of our arrangement. However, I couldn't help myself sometimes, because of how I felt towards her. It was unconscious, like there was a magnet inside her, that was the perfect opposite of a similar magnet inside me, and became drawn to one another, up until this point, where we have snapped together so strongly that it may take a bit to get us apart.

"What are we going to do, Ems?" I ask, striking her hair gently.

"About what?"

"Work on Monday." I reply, biting my bottom lip.

Emily runs her thumb over my lip, untucking it from between my lips. "Nothing, if you don't want to. If you don't want to tell people, we don't have to."

"I know that, Ems. I mean... How can we work in the same office and keep this quiet? The only reason I don't make more eye contact with you when we are at work, is because I find myself unable to take my eyes off you when I do."

Emily's brow furrows. It's a thoughtful look, as though something is ticking over in her mind. "Just... How long have you felt this way?"

"Probably since the day we met."

"And you've said nothing this whole time?" I look nervous, and my eyes close briefly, before opening and looking directly into hers. I nod, confirming the answer to her question. She presses her lips together and then lays her head back on my chest. Her fingertips tangle in the ends of my hair, and she kisses my skin softly. "Ever have those moments where you feel completely... Stupid?" she murmurs against my skin.

"Yeah. Just about every day since I met you. But I didn't allow myself to think more on it."

Her fingertips trace up my breast and over my nipple, which hardens at her touch. It's so lazy, the way she does it. Like it's not leading anywhere, and she is just enjoying the feel of my skin under her fingers. "You say you don't understand how Alice could cheat on me." Emily says. "I don't understand how you can sleep with me for so long, and not tell me you feel more. It must have driven you crazy." Her tone is sympathetic.

"I could say the same, Emily."

"I know." she agrees. "I wanted to tell you how I felt when Alice left. It just wasn't the right time. I didn't want you to think you were a rebound."

"I wouldn't have thought that." I said.

"I wasn't sure." She pauses to kiss a trail down between my breasts, ending with taking my nipple in between her teeth and gently biting it. A soft groan leaves my lips. Her kisses trace back to the centre of my chest and she lays her head back down.

"Besides. You were with someone, to begin with. So it wasn't really appropriate to confess how I felt. How was I to know that you felt the same?"

"Yeah well... I should have left her sooner, considering." Emily frowned.

"Left her?"

"Yes. It was frustrating me and making me unhappy... Staying with her. It would have come to a head anyway, even if she had not been cheating on me."

"Hmm."

"As it happens, she just made the break-up easier." Emily continued. "We didn't argue. She just told me, and said she would be back for her stuff. She came and got everything while I was at work... Left the keys on the kitchen bench."

"You didn't try and work it out?" I asked.

"Not much point. We did talk, we both knew it wasn't working anymore between us."

She remains silent for a few minutes, and we spend those few minutes simply breathing together.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Any of it. This is where we are now." She says, quietly.

And I know she is right.

(Emily POV - One month later.)

I'm sitting in a restaurant, across from my sister, who is perusing the wine list. She looks slightly pissed off, and I would assume it is because Naomi is sitting next to me. I'm also assuming that Katie is busying herself with the wine list, so that she doesn't jump the table and punch Naomi in the face. When, we met each other that first day in the office, I knew that Katie didn't like Naomi much, and while there hadn't been any screaming matches as such between the two, Katie couldn't help but make a few sniping comments here and there.

Even though it took forever for the two of us to come together, since we have done so, Naomi and I have been better for each other than we both could have realised. No one would have guessed how much of a loving person she was, and I felt like the luckiest out of everyone, because I was the only one she let see it. Even though we have to be careful about not letting anyone at work know, we still find ways to pay attention to each other.

Naomi and I had talked about it, what we would do if anyone had found out. It's not like it was strictly against office policy to be in a relationship with a co-worker, but we had both agreed that if anyone did find out, we would of course be honest about it. We had no shame about being with each other, we just preferred to remain professional while working.

The only concern I had, was Katie. And that's why we're sitting here ordering dinner, Katie shooting us both daggers.

"I understand you wanted to come out to dinner, Ems, but why did you bring her?" Katie says, nodding towards Naomi.

"I was hungry." Naomi says, dryly. I fight back a smirk. Naomi's sense of humour is one of the things I've come to enjoy about her. I find myself unable to hold back my smirk as the corners her her lips curve upwards in a smug smile.

"You think that's funny?" Katie glares at me.

"I do, actually. You'd be surprised what I find funny, especially some of the things Naomi says."

"And I ask again, why is she here?"

"We needed to talk to you." Naomi says.

"I believe I was talking to my sister." Katie scoffed.

"Katie, don't be rude to her." I interject.

"Emsy, I just don't understand why she's here."

"Jealous?" Naomi smirks.

"Naoms." I said.

"Sorry." She giggles. I'd be annoyed if it wasn't so adorable.

"Katie, Naomi is here because we need to tell you something. Before you hear it anywhere else."

"If this is about some new café, or who I should vote for..." Katie whines.

The waiter turns up then, and Katie orders a bottle of red wine, and we all order something to eat.

"It's not about the next best place to eat, nor the sodding election. Look, Katie, would you just listen to Emily?" Naomi tells her, earning her a glare and a raised eyebrow from Katie.

"Fine."

"Katie... Naomi and I... We're involved."

"In what, political espionage?" Katie sneered.

I give her a look that plainly says "are you kidding me?", and her eyebrows raise immediately.

"What, you two?!" Katie asked, in disbelief.

I nod, and look over at Naomi, who looks slightly nervous. I reach over and place my hand on top of hers, letting her know she isn't alone in this. This doesn't go unnoticed by Katie.

"You weren't honest with me, Ems." Katie frowns. "When I asked you if something was going on."

"Actually, I was, partially. When you asked me that, we weren't together." I reply, nodding towards Naomi. "But you were right, there was something going on between us. We just hadn't got to the stage where we admitted it."

"You make it sound like you've been shagging for months."

I look at Naomi, and she looks at me, fighting off a smile. I look back at Katie, because I know if I keep looking at Naomi, I'll dissolve into laughter with her.

"Oh, god. You two HAVE been shagging for months, haven't you?" Katie asks, incredulously.

"Yes. We have." Naomi responds. "It started out as me doing a favour for Emily."

"Odd sort of a favour. A favour is when you mind someone's cat for the weekend, or getting some milk while you're out at the shops because they forgot. Hardly extends to shagging, don't you think, Emsy?" Katie snaps at me. "How long has this been going on?"

"Ah..." I started. "You know how Alice was cheating on me?" Katie nods. "I suspected it before she told me. It started between me and Naomi then. Alice and I hadn't had sex in months. Naomi suggested we have a no-strings arrangement."

"No strings?"

"Friend with benefits." Naomi cut in.

"What?"

I roll my eyes. My sister can be a bit daft at times. "We became fuck buddies, Kay." I say bluntly. Naomi smirks, because she knows that we both find that expression a bit crude.

"Did Alice know?"

"Nope." I reply. "I was going to tell her, but didn't bother once she told me she had been cheating herself. I just let her go."

"She didn't deserve you, Ems." Katie says. "And what makes you think you're any better?" She adds, looking at Naomi. "Don't you think it's a bit much? Taking advantage of my sister when she's having partner issues?"

"It wasn't like that." Naomi replies. "I became friends with Emily first. I could see how upset she was, and invited her for a drink. I thought she might want to get something off her chest when she told me what was going on with Alice, I told her that if she needed someone to talk to, I would lend an ear."

"Oh, of course. That totally explains it. So, what... You suggested shagging her to take her mind off it?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Katie. It was MY idea to begin with!" I snap, growing tired of her sarcasm.

Katie just stares at me. "You?"

"Yes. Look, I hadn't had any in months. I've fancied Naomi virtually since the minute we walked into the office. When I suspected Alice was cheating on me, I thought... Why should she have all the fun? She obviously didn't want to sleep with me, and I didn't really plan on cheating on her, but she did it first. I know that doesn't make it right, but as Naomi and I discussed... A girl has needs." I explain, knowing well that I don't really need to tell Katie about that sort of thing.

"So you didn't just sweep in and seduce my sister?" Katie asks Naomi.

Naomi laughs. "Hardly. It was sort of the other way around. And there wasn't any seduction involved. It was purely casual to begin with."

"And then it just became something more." I chime in, squeezing Naomi's hand.

The waiter arrives with our wine, pouring us all a glass. Katie takes a long sip from hers and then places the glass down on the table. She looks at me, and then over to Naomi, then back to me.

"She makes you happy?" My sister asks me.

I look over at Naomi, who gives me a simple smile. She isn't confident with saying it in public, but I can see it in her eyes that she does love me, and that makes me happier than anything. I look back to Katie. "Happier than I've been in years."

"We make each other happy." Naomi said, from beside me.

Katie takes another sip of her wine and nods slowly. "Does anyone else at work know?" She asks.

"No. And we'd like to keep it that way. Naomi is very private, and I respect that." I reply.

"Ok. Then you have my word I won't tell anyone." Katie says, before turning to Naomi. "Be good to my sister, yeah? Because if you hurt her, I won't hesitate to fuck you up." She points at Naomi with a stern expression, for effect.

Naomi holds her hands up in surrender. "I have no intention of doing so, Katie."

"Good. Because she's well worth it, yeah? She doesn't deserve to be fucked around."

"I'm aware." Naomi says, giving me a shy smile.

We ate dinner without further incident, which is not what I expected at all. I half expected Katie to go spare, or threaten Naomi a bit more. But I guess she has grown up and matured a bit since I started dating Alice in uni. Either that, or she could just see how happy we made each other. Afterwards, Naomi and I walked back to my flat, hand in hand.

"That went better than I expected." I said, as we walked up the stairs to my door.

"You think?"

"Yeah. With Alice she got really stroppy over it. But then, she and Alice always did clash. Different personalities." I reply.

"Mmm." Naomi hums. "You think she will keep it quiet?"

"Yes. She knows how much it will upset me if she doesn't. Katie may be a heartless bitch sometimes, but she's still my sister and she cares about me." I pause as I open the door to my flat. "Besides, I doubt she wants to be attached to any office scandal involving me and you. She doesn't like it so much when people think she's gay as well."

"People have thought that?" Naomi says, sitting on the couch.

"Yeah. They tend to assume we are completely alike in all respects, including who we want to sleep with. Too bad for everyone else she likes dick too much."

Naomi laughs, as I sit down next to her, sliding my arm around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder. Her fingers thread through my hair and she kisses my temple. It's often that we sit like this, just on the sofa. Sometimes we curl up and watch television, but others we just talk. I've learned how much of a passionate person she is, not just in the bedroom, but in other ways as well.

"You going to stay tonight?" I ask her, kissing her neck softly.

"Sure. We don't have to work tomorrow." She replies, stroking my shoulder.

"True." I press my lips to hers and kiss her slowly. "Come to bed with me?"

"Of course." Naomi replies, as I stand up and take her hand, pulling her up with me.

We settle into bed together, arms wrapped around each other. Our conversation is quiet, and is accented with long slow kisses. We don't have sex, but it's one night where we don't have to. We are just happy to be next to each other. Eventually we fall asleep in each other's arms.

(Naomi POV - Epilogue - Six Months Later.)

If you had told me, when Emily Fitch walked into my office with her sister, that all this time later I would be in a relationship with her, I would have either told you to fuck off, or that you were crazy.

When we started shagging each other, even though I fancied her like mad, I guess I never expected her to be reciprocal in her intentions. We surprised each other, in the end, because I thought I was incapable of loving someone properly. Turns out that I wasn't, and Emily showed me that. She also showed me I had nothing to worry about, in terms of being hurt. We were completely devoted to each other, even more so than when we were just having sex, without strings. It surprised me a fair bit, and made me realise that I was wrong about myself.

I wasn't incapable of loving someone, it was just that I needed it to be the right person. Emily was that person, and together...we were passionate and beautiful.

A/N#2: And that's the end of the story...

I hope you all enjoyed it, it took me a while to write, and I can't remember whether I started writing before or after I started SF... Possibly somewhere in between altogether!

Reviews? Comments? Etcetera? You know what to do... :-)

Thanks for reading, and I will endeavour to get on with SF/GA ASAP, as well as probably coming up with something totally different in the near future. I thought I'd get this up, though... I thought it might need a bit more polishing, but it seemed to me like it didn't need it. I could be wrong, I could be right... Who knows?

Until we meet again...

~GN~ xo