Disclaimer: I've actually never smoked weed in my entire life, and therefore make no claims to accuracy whatsoever.
This was written because people seemed to like the last OkiKagu oneshot I wrote over a year ago. I thought they would be actually really really good friends when they were older, rather than acting like school playground kids later in life.
-x-
Begin Again
-x-
Kagura wiped off her forehead, satisfied with the contents of the stove as she turned down the heat. Today seemed to signify good luck to her. As she tasted her homemade cooking, she hummed contentedly to herself. Yes, things were going to be fine.
At seventeen years of age, she was glad that finally people were recognizing her into someone she always wanted to be. To be as strong as Tsukki, as dignified as Anego, to be as successful as Mucchan - they were all proper ladies who seemed to convey the sort of respect she herself had never received regardless of her strength. To everyone around her, she was just a kid. Or brat. And still even after growing up a little, and becoming more womanly, nothing had changed in the Yorozuya family.
But today was going to be different.
-x-
"Happy birthday!" they shouted as Gintoki entered his apartment above Otose's bar. Kagura and Shinpachi both smiled widely, the glow of their faces illuminating the living room. Sakamoto, Hasegawa, and Otose had all brought beer, and the rest of them had either cooked or brought presents to convey good will and pleasant wishes.
To his surprise, he was touched by their warm gestures. It had been a while since anyone had came together to celebrate his birthday in such a grand fashion. And so he drank, ate, and gambled with gusto. It was something that many came to reprimand him for, and yet their eyes softened regardless as they saw him in a state of general content.
Finally it was time for them to cut the cake - and it had been a generous cake with plenty of frosting and strawberries that Gintoki wondered who had paid for it - and a moment of silence crept across them before they all sang the Happy Birthday song in the wrong keys.
It was lovely and spectacular and Gintoki almost choked on his first bite of cake because of the lump in his throat.
Kagura fetched him a cup of tea and he thanked her, grinning. "I swear they're putting twice as much sugar into sweets these days," he said fondly.
She snorted. "Why d'ya think they call it sweets, Gin-chan?"
"All right, Miss Bossy," he said approvingly.
Kagura smiled and left to offer more refreshments to the other guests. Everyone else around them seemed to be having a good time. Even Hasegawa seemed less grimy and depressing with the presence of alcohol inside of him.
"Patsuan, who paid for all this?" he asked during a lull in the happy celebration.
"You didn't know? It was Kagura-chan. She's been saving up for a while."
"Eh? Why?"
Shinpachi shrugged. "Apparently she's been doing freelance work on her own."
Gintoki frowned. "In all my years I never thought she would go out earning her own money. She'd always badger me for a salary."
"Well, Kagura-chan is growing up, you know?" He pushed up his glasses. "My sister told her that an independent woman can't depend on a man for anything."
"Psh, why should anyone listen to that gorilla woman?"
"My point stands," Shinpachi said patiently. "I guess Kagura is changing like the rest of us."
-x-
The three of them bade their happy guests a fond farewell before cleaning up the mess that they had left. Gintoki and Kagura were doing the dishes while Shinpachi was busy vacuuming the floor. Lately, even the housework was something Kagura had been more inclined to do compared to the old times where she would slack off on the couch like Gintoki would. Honestly, he was feeling a bit lost at the gradual changes in her, and while it wasn't bad, it was... strange.
And of course, it was probably time for him to give her the lecture that no one was looking forward to. Just last week there had been plenty of boys who had visited the apartment hoping that Kagura would be there. Some of them had been kids she once befriended with at the playground.
For some reason, he just found the entire thing a little too sad to dwell on it more than necessary. Today had been proof that their dynamics were changing.
"Oi, Kagura-chan... Patsuan told me you'd been the one who funded this entire party."
She handed him a wet dish to dry, sighing. "I told him not to tell."
"You didn't have to do all that for me."
"But I wanted to," Kagura said softly. "Were you happy?"
"Yeah, I was." But it makes me uncomfortable, regardless.
"Good. I guess that's all that matters, then."
No it doesn't, Gintoki wanted to tell her. Whether you're grown up or not, I couldn't care less either way. You're still gonna be that snot-nosed punk ass kid I picked up from the streets one day and then you decided to stick with me.
Still, he kept his lips shut, nodding as he dried more dishes.
He didn't like this. All of this uncertainty - when had it suddenly appeared? When did she stop smacking on sukonbu and picking her nose? Not that those were particularly good habits, but those were things that made up Kagura. Kagura being all helpful and dignified and mature was just... wrong.
"Kagura."
"Hm?"
"Why did you do this all for me? And don't you lie. Gin-san hates a liar more than anything. What do you want? A bigger room? Or - "
Her blue eyes flashed in alarm. "No, no - I'm fine, really."
"That closet does seem a bit too small for you these days," he conceded. "I'll see if I can't remodel the room to make it larger - "
"I told you I was fine, uh-huh!" Kagura seemed irritated by his suggestion. "I just thought it was a nice thing to do, okay?"
Gintoki blinked.
"Right," he said, resuming his dish drying. "It's just... unexpected. But thank you."
"You're welcome," she said grumpily.
He smiled a little wryly at that. "Hey, with people around my age, we stop caring about birthdays. So... it really was unexpected that this thing would be planned for me, y'know? I didn't mean to be so suspicious."
"If you say so, Gin-chan."
"You'll understand when you're older."
For some reason that elicited a long sigh from her. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Gin-chan."
"And you're not an adult either," he retorted.
"Don't patronize me!" she said sharply. "I know about sex, and about old men, and all those things you keep under your bed - so don't talk to me like I'm some pure maiden, uh-huh!"
He blinked, confused. "Huh? You think those things make you an adult?"
"You keep talking to me like I'm some kid these days," she said heatedly. "I'm not like that anymore, Gin-chan."
Something icy crept into his chest. "Oi, Kagura-chan - "
"Don't Kagura-chan me," she said, visibly upset. For a while, the only noises they could hear was the vacuum whirring from a room away. Gintoki sighed and crossed his arms.
"Fine. So you want to be treated like an adult?" Gintoki asked. "Get your own place, and find what your dreams are. If you can take care of yourself without depending on me, then I'll acknowledge you as an adult. As for now - "
"But I want to stay with you forever, Gin-chan."
"And what if you get married, eh?" His eyebrows were raised in skepticism.
"I don't wanna get married," she said. "Not unless it's with you."
"Kagura!"
"I don't care! It's true all the same," she said. "Just give me a chance. I know I'm young, but - "
"No." His voice was instantly cold and professional. "We are not going to talk about this."
Now tears were threatening to leak from her eyes. "Gin-chan... Oh god. I've ruined everything, haven't I?" she said faintly. She stepped away from him, before running out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. She was still wearing her apron.
Gintoki was duly unimpressed to see Shinpachi quietly standing at the door.
"How long have you known?"
"A while."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"Because it wouldn't have helped either way."
Gintoki made his way into the living room, sinking into the couch. "This is insane. I've never ever looked at her in any other way than as a kid."
"She knows." Shinpachi seemed a bit melancholy as he cracked open a beer. "I mean, if you think about it makes a lot of sense. She's been looking up to you since forever... just like me."
"But you don't like me."
"No I don't, but if I was a girl... I might have."
"But what about what's-his-face? Soichirou-kun? I thought maybe - "
"That Okita-san was gonna ask her out once they matured? I mean it's a possibility."
"Patsuan, you're not helping." Gintoki looked hopelessly desperate. "I will never see her that way. In fact I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to see her the way she wants it to be."
"I know that, Gin-san. But she's hurt right now."
"Right." Gintoki got off the sofa and went to dial a number on the telephone.
"Who are you calling?"
"Your sister."
-x-
The phone call went a bit awkwardly. After asking Tae if the girl was staying at the dojo and receiving a "no" in response, Gintoki began to feel a headache forming in his temples. Not too long after that he called the Shinsengumi; an irritated Hijikata picked up, probably in the midst of paperwork.
"She's a demon teenager!" he said, annoyed. "What do you have to worry about?"
Gintoki willed himself to remain calm. "For your information, a girl's feelings is a hell of a lot more delicate than you think!"
"Tell that to the taxpayers who repair all the damages between her and Sougo - argh!" There was a fair bit of scuffling before someone else picked up the phone.
"Danna, is this you?"
Gintoki sighed. "Yes. Finally, a voice of reason. Look, I need some help." He explained the situation as fast as possible.
"Oh, did that monster girl get loose again?"
"Again? What do you mean?"
"I've seen her out of your house pretty often. I thought that something didn't add up. Turns out she's been pretty stressed about something, but she won't tell me."
"Haaaah? Since when were you two bosom friends, anyways?" Gintoki asked.
"I dunno. That sounds weird anyways Danna. Did something happen tonight?"
Gintoki was about to blurt out "Yes!" before thinking about Kagura. "Uh, no. Just couldn't find her, and it's not all that good for a sixteen year old to be wandering around Kabuki-chou."
"Like Hijikata-san said, you should relax. Really, thugs and mobsters should be more afraid of her than anything - "
"That's not the point! I just... " he trailed off, a lump in his throat. "I need to know where she is. She doesn't have to come home. I just want to know."
"... Okay," Okita said. "I'll see what I can do."
-x-
Okita Sougo had slipped into his Shinsengumi uniform, tying the knots in his shoe before Hijikata stood behind him.
"Where d'ya think you're goin' this time of night?" he asked, smoking a cigarette.
"Out."
"Oh? On whose authority?"
"I'll get someone to cover my shift tomorrow," Okita said. "Besides, it sounds like they had a fight. Gotta make sure that Monster Girl isn't out destroying things she doesn't need to destroy."
"Why can't that guy look for her himself?" Hijikata complained. "We're not freelancers, you know."
"No one's askin' you to do it, Hijikata-san," he said. "Anyways, I'll be back soon."
"You better not be causing chaos this late," the Vice Captain said, crossing his arms. Okita rolled his eyes and made a mental note to put itching powder in Hijikata's boxers next time.
It wasn't actually hard for him to put two plus two together. Pretty much anyone who watched her carefully the way he did would have picked up on the fact that she had this weird crush on the Yorozuya boss. It sort of hurt, but after a few rounds of beating up innocent civilians and destroying the livelihoods of certain people (such as Hijikata) he found that he could sort of forget about it.
And then she had to go around inviting people - even people like Hijikata, a total killjoy if he ever saw one - to Gintoki's birthday party, which also gave him chest pains. He attended because, well, it would have been rude if he didn't. He liked Gintoki, but found it less and less tolerable to accept that such a lazy guy like him was found attractive by someone like Kagura.
If Gintoki was worried to the point where Kagura wouldn't come home, it must have been serious. Okita thought to himself - if she wasn't at the Shimuras' dojo, then she was probably at the park. Seventeen or not, she had habits that he knew like the back of his hand.
And sure enough, he found her swinging aimlessly, her long red hair casting a bright parabola as she swung back and forth across the jungle gym.
"Yo, China."
She looked at him like he was a disgusting brand of mayonnaise. "What d'ya want, Sadist?"
"Danna's looking for you."
"Shut up. I don't care." She kicked up her legs so that her body swung up to the highest level of the swinging bar. It would have been impressive if Okita wasn't familiar with her Herculean strength.
He decided to sit on the kid's swing next to her, finding it an uncomfortable fit now that he was twenty one. "I don't know what happened, but at least you should pay them a call. They're worried about you."
"Hmmph." Kagura dragged her feet on the gravel to stop herself from moving. "I came here to think."
"Well fine. I just thought you needed a friend or something."
"Hah! Since when were we friends?" Kagura laughed.
He shrugged, knowing that Kagura liked to mock him when she was in an exceptionally bad mood. It happened a lot less now that she wanted to be taken seriously as a grown-up, but still, the girl he once fought with still emerged unintentionally at times. Either way, they were mostly good friends (even if she never admitted to it) and both of them could take a bit of jabbing at times.
Okita tossed her a package. Kagura looked at it. "Sukonbu?"
"Hey, don't look at me. It's all the rage these days ever since Soyo-hime popped up in their commercials."
"I don't even eat this stuff anymore," she said.
"Pity," he said. "Thought you were getting depressed. I remember when you used to suck down this stuff."
"I'm not depressed!" she said bitingly. "It's just... " Kagura seemed to struggle for the right words before she said quietly, "I just wish people didn't see me like a little girl anymore."
"They don't," Okita said. "Trust me on this one, China." He popped a stick of green-apple gum into his mouth, blowing a bubble until it popped and he had to suck in the gum again.
"Well, Gin-chan doesn't even look at me like a woman."
"Doesn't mean you're a kid," Okita said with a tone of complete neutrality, though really inside his insides were doing the macarena. "I always thought it was weird that you're shacking up with a dude ten plus years older than you anyways."
"Fuck off," she said, though she was finally unwrapping her stick of sukonbu. Sucking on it, she said, "I knew I didn't have a chance, anyway. He's got a thing for someone else. But hey - better her than me, right?"
Okita contemplated on this before choosing his words carefully. "You could do a lot better than a NEET."
She laughed at that. "Like who? You?"
He rolled his eyes. "In your dreams, China." And maybe in mine too.
-x-
Kagura walked back to the Yorozuya with a bit of caution. Her heart still felt heavy with the weight of Gintoki's rejection, but some part of it was considerably lightened by Okita's words. Really, who knew he could actually be nice sometimes? Maybe those three years of getting stomped by her feet had helped him mature a little bit, too.
Gintoki was pacing the door when she came inside. "Kagura-chan! Thank God you came back - where were you?"
"The playground."
"I was so worried about you - I even called the police - "
"I know," Kagura said, somewhat apologetic. "Sadist told me."
Gintoki ran a hand through his shaggy hair. In that careless movement, she knew she would always love every part of him - his propensity to worry about everybody, his way of pretending to not care when in actuality he did, his way of knowing everything that she wanted to hide...
"Young lady, you better not do that again."
She raised an eyebrow. "Or what?"
He simply smacked her on the head the way he did when she was fourteen. "Or nothing. It's time for bed."
"Gin-chan - "
"Hurry up now," he said, cutting her off. "Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day."
And she swallowed, knowing that his position on her feelings hadn't changed. Even if she had thrown a bigger tantrum, or if her delivery had been said in a more romantic atmosphere... it wouldn't have altered anything.
Gin-chan was Gin-chan, after all.
-x-
"So are things back to normal, Monster Girl?" Okita asked her a week later as his rhinoceros beetle was busy chomping on some poor kid's insect.
Kagura huffed out angrily, prodding her own beetle with her index finger. "None of your business. And aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"What the taxpayer doesn't know, won't hurt him," he said sagely.
She rolled her eyes at him. "Things are okay. He kind of pretends it never happened," Kagura said. "Though I don't get it. If I'm gonna be rejected I'd rather someone do a clean job of it, uh-huh."
"Maybe he's trying to spare your feelings?" Okita suggested. "Or maybe he finds the idea totally disgusting."
"Shut up," Kagura said, a bit sharper than she intended. "I know I'm not his type. But still."
"I doubt that's how he sees you. I mean, aren't you his kid, legally speaking?"
"Shut up," Kagura said again. "I thought we were here to pickpocket children, not talk about how sucky my love life is."
"My bad," he said, scooping up a wad of pocket change and stuffing it into her hands. "Here, why don't you get something disgusting to eat like those Umaibo sticks. I know Danna doesn't pay you enough."
"They are not disgusting," she protested. "Stop making it seem like I've got the taste of a five-year-old."
"I'm not," Okita said. "You've got a taste of an old geezer."
-x-
After a while, she sort of moved on and looking at Gintoki felt a lot less like a punch in her chest and more of a twinge of longing. This came as a surprising relief. Having all those strong feelings for someone like him had gotten to be exhausting after a while - she was tired of imagining situations where things could have been different.
He remained as friendly as ever, though. It was awful to think that her feelings for him hadn't even made him treat her any differently than before.
She compensated herself by getting out of the house as often as she could. She did her work, and then she would wander around Edo with Sadaharu until it was dinnertime. Sometimes she would run into all sorts of different people and help them out. Kagura wasn't sure if them all being related to Gintoki in one way or another had anything to do with cosmic fate.
Whatever it was, the only thing that really got the whole fiasco out of her head was when she was hanging out with Okita. By the end of the week, he'd gotten her hooked on dating sims after lending her Kondo's TS system. Not too long after that, he invited her in a good old fist fight, except this time they would take place on a soccer field to avoid civilian damage. At times, he'd even buy her food for no reason apart from the fact that he was feeling hungry.
And sometimes they just talked too. She told him about her (reformed) bloodthirsty brother because he asked about her immediate family. Five minutes later, he admitted he had a dead sister whom he used to send money back home to pay for her tuberculosis treatments.
"Gin-chan actually met her?" Kagura asked, her eyes wide open.
"Yep. About a week before she passed away, actually. I wanted to show her I had friends in the city. But I think she kinda figured out that we weren't really friends in the first place. Not that it matters," he added hastily.
She snorted. "Tch. You could have taken me."
"Yeah, I could have," Okita said. "But you weren't there in the diner."
"And we'd have fought like cats and dogs anyway, uh-huh," Kagura said. They were both watching clouds float by lazily in the sky, their backs resting against a sleeping Sadaharu.
"Yeah. Probably."
-x-
"Your monster girlfriend's here to pick you up," Hijikata said, annoyed as he found Okita, his sleeping mask on prominent display during his afternoon shift. "Oi!"
"She's not my girlfriend," Okita said lazily as he stretched the kinks out of his back.
"Yeah, sure, sure. I'm getting concerned about your work ethic, actually, and I'm gonna say that it - "
"Oh whoops, I gotta get rid of a public nuisance obstacle," Okita said, running away from Hijikata. Ignoring yells of, "HEY! YOU WAIT JUST A MINUUUUUUUTE!" he snorted and beckoned Kagura to run next to him too.
-x-
"Kagura-chan, aren't you hanging out with that boy often these days?" Otae seemed concerned as they had dinner in her house (Shinpachi, thankfully had cooked.)
"It's not like you think," she said, rolling her eyes. "We're like, friends who hate each other."
"Right..." Otae seemed bemused as she handed Kagura another bowl of rice. "Well, in any case, I was just wondering if you were, uhm - "
"It's okay, Anego. You can ask if we're fucking. We're not, for the record."
"Oiiiiii!" Shinpachi shrieked, astounded that such vulgarities would come out of the younger girl's mouth. "What are you even saying, Kagura-chan?!"
Kagura bit into a pickled radish, amused at the pretense of innocence that the other boy had kept up over the years. "I'm just answering her question, cherry boy. Don't get your knickers twisted up."
As Shinpachi sputtered, Otae san shook her head with worry. "A young lady shouldn't be saying these things," she reprimanded Kagura gently, although a sly spark crept into her eyes.
"It's good that you're making friends your own age - " (at this Shinpachi muttered that Okita was the same age as his sister) " - but just know that friendships between men and women can get complicated, okay?"
"What do you mean?" Kagura asked curiously. "I'm friends with Shinpachi. Are you saying that things will get complicated between us too?"
"No, that's a bit different..." The older woman trailed off, trying to come up with an explanation that wouldn't offend either of them.
Kagura shrugged. "Anego, you're not telling me anything I don't already know." Setting her chopsticks on top of her bowl, she said, "Thanks for the meal. I'm going to hang at Soyo's for a bit."
"Sure, no problem." Otae's smile seemed a bit too understanding for her liking. "Come back anytime, Kagura-chan."
-x-
This wasn't the same as a crush, Kagura said to herself as she walked to Soyo's palace. It wasn't - after all, weren't the heady rush and the butterflies flapping in her stomach signs of a crush? When she looked at Gin a few months ago, it was so difficult being in the same room with him.
Okita inspired none of those things in her. What was so romantic about a guy who habitually slacked off work and made it a priority to instill constant death threats against his boss?
She sighed. Then again, she couldn't argue that she once had a thing for someone who kept denying her salary, never paid the rent on time, and held a penchant for reading Shonen Jump even to this day. At least Okita made decent wages and had a real job. And Okita never made her do boring things like Gin-chan did, like laundry or cooking. He was fun.
And more importantly, he treated her like an adult - as if... he liked her, or something gross like that. In a cool friend way, of course. Just the other day he popped up holding a plastic bag full of green stuff that looked like chopped up cilantro.
"You ever smoked this stuff before?" he asked.
She made a face. "No. Aren't you supposed to be a cop, you disgusting tax-robber?"
"Tax robber, cop... Everyone smokes this stuff at least once in their life." He rolled up a joint and lit it up with a mayonnaise lighter, filched specifically to annoy Hijikata. "Here, try it."
"No thanks. I don't wanna touch anything that has your lips on it."
Okita sighed and began to roll up another joint for her. "Here."
She took it with some trepidation. "You sure no one's gonna catch us?"
"Even if they did, they can't exactly arrest me," Okita said. "Kondo-san'd be disappointed, but he wouldn't put me in jail or anything."
"You guys are so damn corrupt," she said. Leaning over, he lit up the joint for her. "Don't breath in so much of it," he advised.
"Okay."
She puffed in the smoke until she could hold it in no longer, and breathed out. The effect was instantaneous. Immediately she felt relaxed, and also... calm, as if she was floating.
"Jesus," she said.
"Yup," Okita said. "Good weed will do that for you."
"Do you usually do this a lot?"
"Nah. Today was the fourth anniversary of my sister's death."
"Oh."
It was probably the effects of the drug, but she felt like it was the right thing to do as she leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder. "Sorry to hear about it."
"... It's okay. This stuff helps."
He'd given her a weird look, something in between pity and surprise. His eyes had softened a bit. She on the other hand was feeling buzzed, amazed with how vibrant everything looked. Even Okita looked better than usual - she even thought he even was handsome, for heaven's sake. Not an hour later he took her to a cheap restaurant and let her eat the entire place entirely without a single complaint.
"Oh God," Kagura thought as she stopped in front of Soyo's door. I think I'm falling for that asshole.
-x-
"He let you rack up a twenty thousand yen food bill and he didn't even complain?" Soyo asked in between episodes of Ladies 4. "Wow, he must really like you, Kagura-chan."
"Shut up," Kagura said. "Men are scum. Gin-chan told me not trust them." With some degree of finesse she layered red, yellow, and orange nail polish on Soyo's toenails, reminding the princess of a Rothko painting the interior staff had imported from the West.
"And anyways, we're talking about a guy who literally broke my wrist."
"But you fractured his leg and knocked him out after that."
"He killed my dung beetle."
"You killed your dung beetle, Kagura-chan. And that was like, three years ago or something."
"He calls me names like Monster Girl or China."
"He also gave you cake."
"THAT HAD TABASCO SAUCE IN IT, DAMMIT."
Kagura glared at Soyo, who was smiling sweetly. "Whose side are you on anyway, Soyo-chan?!"
"Truthfully? I'm neutral. He works for my family, and you talk about him a lot, so I can only assume that there's something deeper going on."
"There is nothing - " Kagura said, forcefully jamming the brush back into the tiny glass bottle of polish - " - going on between us."
"Okay, okay," Soyo said. "I just thought... maybe, after Sakata-san said no... you'd be more open to someone who'd say yes."
"It's not the same thing," the other girl said, her eyes darkening. She adored Gintoki - both physically and mentally. There was no way for anyone to match that same level of admiration she had for the white-haired samurai, a man who'd given her a family to call her own when her biological one had shattered into pieces long ago. It was difficult for Kagura to come to terms that Gintoki would never see her any further than the younger sister/daughter he'd adopted into his place.
"Ah... sorry." Soyo tucked a piece of black hair behind her ear. "I didn't mean to say anything hurtful..."
"It's okay." Kagura smiled quickly to signify she had taken no offense. "Besides, I changed my mind. I want to marry you when I grow up!"
The princess laughed. "I don't think they'll take it well - imagine having an Amanto Princess in Japan."
"Sheesh, it's not as if I look that different from a real human," Kagura said, but giggled all the same.
In any case, I won't make the first move for anybody else.
-x-
"What are your plans for Christmas?"
"Ehhhh?" Kagura said. "I dunno. I thought I was gonna spend it with Gin-chan and Shinpachi - "
"Okay, I guess I'll only reserve one bucket of fried chicken then." Okita was about to hang up the phone before Kagura shrieked, "HOLD ON, SADIST."
"I'll take two!" she yelped. "Why do you care about that dumb holiday like that, anyway?"
"Because I've got the day off, stupid." Okita clicked his mouse on the KFC site, reserving four buckets just in case. "And I got tickets to an Christmas Otsuu concert, too."
"How? Shinpachi's been trying to get them, but they're all sold out!"
"Well, I called in a favor from her manager. After all, we did save her life."
"You sure you didn't blackmail her, Sadist? As far as I'm concerned - "
"You wanna come or not?"
"... Sure. Just let me ask Gin-chan."
Kagura came back to the phone a minute later. "He says it's okay as long as you don't do lecherous things to me."
"Hah, as if anybody'd wanna touch you. Okay, I'll text you the details in a bit. Talk to you later."
"Okay. And hey... thanks." Kagura tried to ignore the mild fluttering in her chest. "I really appreciate the invitation."
"No problem. Honestly, Yamazaki would've wanted to go if you said no."
"So why'd you ask me first?"
"'Cause I wanted to. Bye."
The phone clicked off, leaving Kagura simultaneously confused and embarrassed as hell. Who hung up like that? And why... why was she feeling all funny inside?
Gintoki was standing behind her. "So, you've got a date. Congratulations."
"IT IS NOT A DATE!" Kagura shouted. "This is just - just one thing, okay?"
"Uh-huh," he said, unconvinced. "Your father is gonna kill me. I swear, kids these days. They grow up way too fast, if you ask me."
"NO ONE ASKED YOU, YOU TENNEN PERM! And don't tell Papi!"
-x-
"I hate you," Shinpachi said as Kagura laced up her snow boots. "Out of all the people in this city, it's you get to hear Otsuu-chan on Christmas day?"
"Don't worry, Pachi, I'll get you plenty of souvenirs," Kagura reassured the boy. "What do you want?"
"I wrote you a list," Shinpachi said, and handed a slip of paper to her. "But... actually... it's okay if you don't get anything. Just have fun, okay?"
Kagura looked at Shinpachi and his understanding face. Smiling, she nodded and slid the door open.
"Have a good Christmas, Shinpachi," she said.
-x-
She was beautiful, dressed in an ornate yellow cheongsam embroidered with white bunnies around the fabric. Her red hair was tied up in her customary buns and Otae-san had even applied a little bit of makeup to her that morning. Consequently her eyes looked bluer than ever, lashes long and thick as she made her way down to the sidewalk next to Otose's bar. A wool coat was draped over her shoulders, keeping her body warm.
Okita had borrowed a car for the night. "Hey, China girl." He was holding the door open for her.
She stuck her tongue out. "Don't call me that." Still, she got into the front seat of his vehicle, conscious of all the whispers around her as they saw a handsome guy escorting a girl inside.
"When did you learn how to drive?" she asked once they were both settled in the car, resisting the urge to put her feet up on the dashboard.
"When I turned eighteen," he said, revving up the engine. "I wanted to learn it a lot earlier, but Kondo-san wouldn't let me."
"Heh, you'd have wrecked the city if you learned any earlier."
"Are you insulting my driving skills?"
"No," Kagura said.
Okita was about to come up with a snappy retort before he thought better of it. "Anyways, there's gonna be drinks over there. You ever had alcohol before?"
"No, Gin-chan or Anego never lets me try. Says it's a filthy habit for a lady to have."
"They're right, but what they don't know won't hurt them."
"Hah! I'm not going to have any. You might take advantage of me."
"Keep talking like that, China, and I might wreck this car sober."
"I have a name, you know."
"So do I. But you've never used it."
"Okay... Okita. I might have one drink. It better be something with the fancy umbrellas in them, uh-huh."
"Okay."
The venue was packed with die-hard Otsuu fans, but Okita maneuvered his car to a valet booth. As they stepped out of the car, he tossed his keys to the other man, picking up his valet ticket.
"Fancy," Kagura said.
"VIP privileges," Okita said, as if he was used to this treatment all the time. "'Course, you should've seen it when Pops was escorting the Shogun on his outings. I had to work double shifts just so he could see an idol belt out songs not fit for children."
Kagura smiled sadly. "I see."
He held out his elbow. She stared at him.
"It's Christmas," he explained. "They won't let you inside unless you're a couple."
"That's bullshit!"
"Play along for five minutes and we'll never have to do this again, China girl." Okita held out his arm. Kagura huffed and reluctantly hooked her arm around him, scowling as they passed through the entrance as he passed the tickets to the usher.
There were worse things she could be doing, she consoled herself. As he led her to their seats, she was surprisingly pleased to see that they were in the front with a great view of the stage.
Holy shit. He went all out, didn't he?
With this shocking revelation, she found that she had to re-evaluate Okita Sougo again. She knew from an early age, that he'd had some odd fixation on her, but she had dismissed it as mere child's play. He didn't know anything about true love, and neither had she when they had first met. All they knew about each other was the unusual gravitation they held towards each other, as if they shared a frenetic energy in each other's presence.
It's called chemistry, Anego said once. Chemistry was what kept things interesting, kept people hooked to each other for inexplicable reasons.
"Here," Okita said, cutting into her thoughts. "We're gonna be sitting here. I'll get drinks and stuff in just a second, so wait here."
Kagura sat down uneasily. No, she thought. There was no way that he - no.
He let you rack up a twenty thousand yen food bill and he didn't even complain? Wow, he must really like you, Kagura-chan.
I just wish people didn't see me like a little girl anymore.
They don't, he'd said. Trust me on this one, China.
You could do a lot better than a NEET.
I just thought you needed a friend or something.
"Holy shit!" Kagura yelled, standing up and attracting the attention of everyone in her vicinity. "NO, NO NONONONONONO - "
"The hell is going on?" Okita interrupted, annoyed and arms full with Umaibo sticks plus soda drinks. "The concert's gonna begin in fifteen minutes, Monster Girl, and then you can holler all you want."
She could barely look at him for five seconds before screaming, "I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM!"
"Uh... okay," he said, weirded out but not unduly troubled. After all, he'd seen her vomit into a perfectly cooked pile of barbecue before.
-x-
Was there any lipgloss stuck to her teeth? Was her hair okay? Was the outfit she and Anego picked out for the occasion even decent??????
With shaking hands, Kagura speed-dialed Tae on her cell phone, holding the hand set anxiously as she bit her nails.
The older woman picked up on first ring. "What's going on, Kagura-chan?"
"I'M ON A DATE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Kagura shrieked as the women around the bathroom sinks stared at her.
"Uhm, Kagura-chan? Pretty much everyone knew that before you did. Men don't go out of their way to get highly exclusive concert tickets for 'friends'." Tae seemed amused. "I thought you went on dates with other boys before."
"I have, but that was just to get free meals out of them! They weren't... him!" Kagura wailed fretfully. "This guy isn't a normal guy! This guy teases me all the time, calls me a monster, provokes me literally 24/7, and - "
" - likes you for who you are," Tae finished triumphantly. "He treats you like a grown up. Sees you in a different way than a sister or daughter. You've got nothing to be afraid of."
"... Oh," Kagura said, in a very small place. "But what if - "
"Stop worrying and have fun," Tae said, just as softly. "It's Christmas, isn't it? Relax. Enjoy the music. Do what girls your age do."
"Okay. Merry Christmas, Anego."
"Merry Christmas, Kagura-chan."
She hung up the phone, and examined her face in the mirror carefully before making her way back to her seat.
Okita was sucking down on a grape flavored Chuubert when she came back. "What took you so long? I mean, I know girls take a long time to take a dump, but - "
She made a face. "Don't talk about such vulgar things, Sadist. I'm here to have a good time, uh-huh."
The lights dimmed down, and the backup singers came out onstage. The audience cheered, excited to see something finally happening after an hour of waiting.
Then a girl not much older than Okita came out, clad in her trademark yellow mini-skirt with a long purple sash tied around her waist.
"Are you ready?!" she yelled into the microphone, the spotlight focused on her.
"CORN POOP!" screamed the audience. Kagura guessed that was supposed to be an affirmative.
"Well, get ready because today's gonna be totally wild!" Without further ado, Otsuu broke into song -
Chome-Chome sore wa kiken na invitation
Chome-Chome, sore wa suteki na intonation, ah ah!
Otona no jijou wo sore de kekkyoku Chome-Chome
Housou koodo dakara kekkyoku Chome-Chome...
The floor beneath Kagura bounced with each beat of the drum, and she could feel the bass vibrating right down to her bones. If the people in the audience could have come any closer, they wouldn't have hesitated. The place was going crazy.
When the song ended, both she and Okita stood up and applauded. She could have sworn the idol had even winked at her.
As the concert went on, the songs changed from fast to slow, funky to sincere; all of them seemed to be incredibly vulgar. But this didn't affect the audience one bit. Throughout the night, Otsuu maintained a magical hold over the crowd. It was as if the people in attendance were part of the band, and the idol fed off of their energy. Kagura was beginning to understand out why Shinpachi collected all of her concert albums.
At the end of "Your Grandma Wears Your Basketball Shoes," Otsuu wiped the sweat off her forehead.
"Goodness!" she exclaimed. "So many songs seem to be about sex!"
This was greeted by hoots and loud applause.
"You'd never guess I'm a virgin."
The crowd went wild over that, and the bass player made a noise that sounded like he popped a string.
"So, ladies and gentlemen - I'm gonna play one more song, 'Your Mother is An XX' - " The audience booed, even though she flashed them a brilliant smile. "And then I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!"
Omae soredemo ningen ka!
Omae no kaachan XX shita!
Omae soredemo ningen ka!
Omae no kaachan XX shita!
Anata no hokuro
Sukoshi shikiso ga usui no ne
Anata no hokuro
Yoku miriyaakesho kegahaeteru...
Otsuu shouted, "Thank you very much! I love you, corn poop!" and she and the band left the stage. By now Kagura couldn't help shouting for more, along with the crowd. The energy of the audience was contagious. The lights remained dark.
After five minutes they came back and did "Your Brother Is a Hikikomori," and once that song had ended, she blew them a kiss to the crowd before she left the stage for good.
People continued to shout for more, but this time the house lights came out.
-x-
"So how was it?" Okita asked, his hands shoved into his pockets as they waited for the valet to pick up his car.
"Awesome!" Kagura said, still high off of the incredible experience. "Man, now I know why Shinpachi goes to those things! The way she sang that last song... " She sighed happily. "That was really something."
"Yeah," Okita said. What he didn't tell her was that he'd been staring at Kagura the entire time, not paying that much attention to the concert itself.
"Do you think Otsuu-chan is really a virgin?" Kagura asked Okita.
"I don't think so. People like things cheap and dirty. That's why she writes her songs the way she does."
"Yeah, you're probably right." Kagura smiled, still in a good mood regardless. "Where are we going next?"
"Where else but KFC? I did promise you a bucket of chicken."
"Two buckets," Kagura corrected. Then, suddenly self-conscious, she scratched the back of her head. "Though it doesn't matter," she added shyly.
"Hey, one or two, what's the difference?" he said. Okita opened the door to let her in, and Kagura smiled at him. "Thanks."
The drive to the restaurant was quiet. Too quiet. After the general sense of exhilaration died down, she was all too aware that she was on what most considered to be a date once more.
"Ne, Sadist," Kagura began. "Do you like me?"
It was a few seconds before he answered. "Yeah. But don't take it too seriously if you don't want to."
At the next red light, he braked. "Oi, don't make that face. You look hideous like that."
"What do you mean, don't take it seriously if you don't want to?" Kagura's mouth was still open. "Does that mean you want my body? Or does that mean - "
"It means, I'm cool with just treating you as a friend and rival if that's what you want, but if you're also cool with being with me in a romantic way, I would be okay with that."
It took her a minute to rearrange her face. "Okay, just give me some time to digest this."
"Okay."
-x-
She finished one bucket of fried chicken before she called it quits. Okita wondered if he could get a refund on the rest.
"But why?" she finally asked. "I thought you had all those... other masochists... at your whim."
"They get boring after a while," he said. "I like someone who throws me for a loop once in a while."
"I'd probably cost you a fortune in food."
"I have a lifelong pension."
"I'm an Amanto who has the strength of a mountain gorilla."
"And I'm an asshole with an inferiority complex." Okita wiped his mouth with a napkin. "What's your point, China?"
"I don't know if we'd be good for each other."
"We'd have to try before we know for sure," he pointed out. "Besides, we keep hanging out like this even though everybody thinks we hate each other. What's the point?"
"I don't know."
"Either way, I bought you four buckets of fried chicken, so could you at least eat one more before we leave?"
Kagura grinned. "Okay, Sadist."
-x-
He parked at the edge of Edo where the snow seemed to cover the edges. Kagura clambered out of the car too, eager to breath in fresh air. The view of the city was magnificent from their standpoint.
"Here," Okita said, handing Kagura a cold something.
"What's this?"
"Beer."
She took a sip and spat it out. "Eugh! What the hell is this stuff?"
"Alcohol." He was sipping his own casually.
"It's disgusting."
"It's an acquired taste, China girl."
She sat on the hood of his car. "Adults have some weird tastes then."
"Says the lady who eats egg on rice every day."
"Hey! It's delicious."
"Whatever." He sat next to her. "Remember that time where the Shogun went skiing?"
"Yeah. I built a huge snow cannon."
"I threw snowballs at your face."
"And I ended up stabbing you and pushing off a cliff."
"God, we were really violent back then, weren't we?"
"Yeah. I'm glad we outgrew that." Kagura got off the hood of the car and put her arms up in the air, spinning around. "Isn't the snow pretty? I like it so much better than rain."
"Mm-hmm." Okita joined her not too long after that. And got closer to her.
"Kagura."
"Hm?"
"Look at me."
Before she could open her mouth to ask why, he leaned down to kiss her on her lips. And for once, she didn't have anything to say.
-x-
Gintoki was peeling oranges and watching a Ladies 4 Christmas special on TV when he'd heard a rustling from downstairs. Careful not to wake up Shinpachi, who was dozing under the kotatsu, he slipped into his bathrobe and slippers as he slid the window open from his balcony.
"Hey... Merry Christmas."
Gintoki could hear Okita's voice from above. "I had a really good time."
"I did too," Kagura answered softly. "We should do this again."
Smiling, Gintoki turned away.
-x-
Kagura entered the room, still lit from the soft glow of the television. "Hey, Gin-chan? You awake?"
"Yup."
She looked a little bit starry-eyed as she took off her coat. Smiling, Gintoki pushed the basket of oranges towards her.
"Did you have fun?"
"Yup."
She pulled out a concert CD for Shinpachi to listen later. For Gintoki, there was a bucket of fried chicken, still warm from being shut in the car for an hour.
And then, in a soft voice, she whispered, "Merry Christmas, Gin-chan."
He could only smile in return as she darted off to bed.
Merry Christmas, Kagura-chan.
-x-
The End
-x-