Disclaimer: I don't own The Wrath and the Dawn or The Rose and the Dagger. They belong to Renee Ahdieh.
SPOILER WARNING: This fic contains BIG spoilers for The Rose and the Dagger. Do NOT read this fic if you have not read the sequel yet.
Synopsis: This fic takes place during those final two crazy chapters of The Rose and the Dagger before the epilogue and is from Shahrzad's perspective.
Here's a refresher on some of the terms used in this fic. I have taken the definitions from The Wrath and the Dawn glossary:
jan - a term of endearment, a suffix attached to a name to mean "my dear"
joonam - a term of endearment meaning "my everything"
qamis - a loose-fitting, long-sleeved shirt, worn by men and women alike, typically made of linen
sirwal trousers - voluminous pants worn by men and women alike, typically gathered at the ankle and secured at the waist by a sash
souk - outdoor market
It all happened so fast, and yet time seemed to come to a standstill.
Shahrzad couldn't stop the loud screams that erupted from her mouth as she watched her husband fall to the ground after being wounded by her own father. The front of his cream colored qamis was quickly turning to crimson as the blood from his chest wound soaked through it, and his face was marred with a gash that was bleeding into his mouth.
"No," Shahrzad shouted over and over again. When she saw Khalid's tiger eyes searching for hers, she surged her body forward to grasp hold of his hands. She found that she was unable to even truly treasure this final moment of looking into his eyes as her vision was clouded over with numerous tears that sought release.
She knelt beside his body, gripping his hands tightly. The tears fell down her face harder and harder as she realized that this was the end. When his grip on her hands slackened, she moved her hands to grab his body and pull him closer to her, never breaking eye contact with him. She did not care that she was getting her husband's blood all over her skin and clothing. She did not care that everyone in the room was watching her fall apart. All she cared about was being as close to her husband as possible in his final moments.
As life left his eyes, she couldn't control the sobs that came out of her.
She could no longer breathe.
Placing her hand against his chest where the majority of the blood was, she didn't feel a pulse. There was no sign of a heartbeat - a living heart that once raced at her touch. She closed her eyes as the memory of that fateful night in the souk flooded back to her. It was when their love story truly began when they hid in an alcove from a group of furious men chasing after them and with their bodies pressed together, she had felt the rapid beat of both their hearts...
She would never get to feel his heart race at her touch ever again.
The thought crushed her and sent more streams of tears down her face.
"Khalid," she cried out repeatedly as she opened her eyes again and looked at him.
Cradling his face in her lap, she gently ran her fingers over his eyelids to close them before allowing her fingers to trace the contours of his face.
Her equal, her air, her reason for living...was gone.
She somehow was able to survive the deaths of her mother and her best friend. She had managed to summon the strength to continue on with life and take care of her father and sister. But this? How was she supposed to survive the loss of the man who made her truly feel alive?
It wasn't supposed to go like this. Their story was not supposed to end here. They had just broken the wretched curse and put an end to Salim's schemes for power. Now they were supposed to live a long happy life free of the pain that had plagued them both in the past. They were supposed to reign as the rulers of Khorasan together. In time, they were supposed to have children and raise them together. They were supposed to just simply have time together.
I wanted too much…
Clutching onto the front of his qamis, she brought her forehead down against his chest, wanting to inhale his scent of sandalwood and sunlight one more time and will his scent to remain with her forever.
"I love you," she whispered, even though she knew he was already gone and wouldn't hear her. But she didn't want to believe it. She couldn't believe it. This all had to be some terrible nightmare, especially since it was her father who murdered her husband.
Her own father had killed Khalid, therefore killing her.
How could this happen…how can this be real?
Suddenly, she heard someone muttering. Until that point, no one around her had moved, nor said a word. She glanced up and saw through her blurred vision that it was her father, speaking words she did not recognize. He was smiling, and his eyes were closed as he held out his hands, which were covered in Khalid's blood.
Unsure of what her traitorous father was up to now, Shahrzad instinctively wrapped her arms around Khalid as a protective measure and narrowed her eyes at her father. Jalal, with his sword unsheathed, inched forward.
But then her father suddenly fell to ground, eliciting a gasp to escape from her lips. Jalal knelt down beside him, placing his forefinger up against his throat and then moving it to his chest.
"He's dead," Jalal remarked softly as he looked over at Shahrzad.
Shahrzad wasn't sure what to think or do.
What happened?
As she continued to lay her head against Khalid's chest, she heard a loud thump.
Soon another followed...and then another and another.
Shahrzad jerked her body up into a sitting position and stared at Khalid. Her hand was still resting on the ripped part of his bloodied qamis that marked the spot where he was fatally wounded.
But...now she felt it.
A faint pulse.
And then she saw his chest rise and fall with a slow intake of breath.
Am I imagining this?
He continued to breathe deeply, and Shahrzad could hardly believe it. She placed her hand against his cheek.
"Khalid-jan," she whispered.
He didn't respond, nor did he open his eyes or show any indication that he heard her. But his heart was beating, and he was breathing. He was...alive.
"He needs to see a physician," Shahrzad announced. "We need to return to the palace immediately."
She looked up and saw the shahrban nod in agreement and bow before he left the tent.
Shahrzad looked back at her husband. She grabbed his hand to kiss it and held it against her heart. Tears began welling up in her eyes again, but this time they were tears of relief and joy.
Her gaze temporarily left Khalid to look over at her father's body lying on the ground. Was this his doing? Did he sacrifice his own life to bring Khalid back?
But why would he kill him only to revive him shortly after and kill himself?
She didn't have time to dwell on these thoughts. Right now she needed to make sure Khalid was well.
Despina stepped forward and bent down beside her. "Shahrzad, let's go to your tent to clean you and dress you in new garments for the journey back."
"I will not leave his side," she replied sternly, even though she knew she must have looked like a complete mess. Her sirwal trousers were soaked from sitting in the pools of blood surrounding Khalid, and she could feel smudges of dried blood on her face and all over her hands. The front of her own qamis was nearly as bloodied as Khalid's.
But she was not currently concerned with her appearance. Her sole concern was Khalid's well-being.
"Khalid, let me see your eyes," she pleaded softly as she squeezed his hand.
But nothing happened. He continued to breathe deeply, which gave Shahrzad a sliver of hope that he would eventually be well.
After arriving back at the palace, Shahrzad was finally separated from Khalid after he was brought to his room and the palace physician assured her that he was fine. He was only a bit weak and in need of rest. The physician insisted that Shahrzad leave the room to clean up and get some rest herself.
But for the next three days, Khalid still didn't wake up and Shahrzad got hardly any rest. She spent her days sitting at his bedside, holding his hand and telling him fictional tales that she knew he'd enjoy with the eager hope that he would wake. Her food for each meal was brought to her, so she wouldn't have to leave him. She would only leave at night to retire to her chamber. If she could, she would certainly have preferred to sleep beside him instead of having to leave, but she feared that in doing so, she might somehow hurt him in his weakened state from jostling around next to him. She couldn't take any chances in worsening his condition.
But when she attempted to sleep, she became even more anxious over his health as the memories of him being stabbed by her father constantly appeared in her nightmares. And in these night terrors, Khalid never woke up. They would cause her to tremble in her sleep and eventually scream out, leading her sister Irsa, who slept beside her, to gently wake her. Shahrzad would always jump up in her bed with tears in her eyes, and her sister would attempt to soothe her and remind her that Khalid was alive.
However, Shahrzad lived in constant fear that Khalid would never wake.
On the third night, the nightmare was worse than the ones she had the previous nights. In this one, Khalid was stabbed repeatedly as he crumbled to the ground. He stretched out his hands, looking for Shahrzad, but he could not find her. Shahrzad was trapped in the corner of the tent and an invisible barrier prevented her from moving toward him, leaving him to bleed out and die alone.
Shahrzad screamed and felt her body being shaken awake by Irsa. When she awoke, she wiped away her tears with the backs of her hands before quickly getting up from her cushions and putting on her shamla.
"Where are you going?" Irsa asked sleepily while still laying on the bed.
"I need to see him," she stated, tying the shamla at her waist and hurrying out of her room and down the corridor.
When she reached the door to Khalid's antechamber, the guards standing post outside gave her a sympathetic look before granting her entrance.
As she walked into the darkened room, she decided that she would lay beside him only for a little while, needing a moment with him close to convince her that he truly was alive and to shake off her terrifying nightmare.
She carefully laid down on his bed and shifted his arm so she was in between his arm and his body. She rested her head against his shoulder and put her hand against his bandaged bare chest, but made sure not to touch the area where the healing wound was.
She heard and felt it...his deep breathing - the proof that he was still with her.
Shahrzad let out a sigh of relief and buried her face into his shoulder, breathing in his scent of sandalwood and sunlight...another sign that he was present with her.
Feeling content, she found her eyes were fluttering closed, and she nearly drifted off when she felt something move across her back.
Her eyes shot open as she tilted her head up to find tiger eyes staring back at her.
"Khalid!" she exclaimed, and his arm that had wrapped around her pulled her tighter.
"Am I in heaven?" he asked quietly. "How else could you be here?"
"No, you're alive, joonam," Shahzad whispered back to him as she reached up her hand to rest it against his cheek, still in shock that he was actually beside her, alive and awake. "You're alive."
She couldn't prevent the tears of happiness from shining in her eyes. With his free hand, Khalid used his thumb to wipe away the ones that had started to drip down her face.
"How?"
"I don't know. Shortly after my father…" she paused as her body shuddered while recalling the memory of seeing Khalid being stabbed. "After my father killed you...he began reciting a spell that appeared to bring you back to life, while he collapsed to the ground...and died. And though you were alive, you did not wake up. It's been three days since then."
Khalid ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm so sorry about your father, joonam."
"If he didn't bring you back, I never would have forgiven him for taking you away from me," she stated honestly. While Shahrzad was sad that her father had passed, she had already lost her father the moment he betrayed her by letting Salim hold her as a prisoner. His lust for power changed him into someone different...someone who wasn't the man who raised her.
And then when he murdered Khalid...that was when she knew for sure that her father no longer existed.
But then he sacrificed himself to bring Khalid back, and Shahrzad felt that in time, she would be able to forgive him.
"I can't believe you're alive…" Shahrzad said quietly. "I never want to let you out of my sight."
"I never want to let you go," he said, rubbing circles on her back.
"Don't you dare ever attempt to shield me again. I'd rather be struck by a fatal blow than ever have to witness you dying again," Shahrzad scolded him.
"That's an amusing request, considering I said something similar when you were hit by Tariq's arrow," he replied as he gently rubbed the area on her back where she had been wounded. "I will make no such promise."
Shahrzad narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her nose at him for a moment before her expression softened.
"I don't ever want to live a single day without you. Living without you for only minutes was unbearable."
"And I never want to live in a world you're not in, joonam. Therefore, I will spend the rest of my life protecting you."
Shahrzad sighed. The two of them were truly too stubborn.
"How are you feeling?" she asked him.
"Extraordinarily grateful to have you in my arms and to have a second chance at spending a lifetime with you."
"That's not what I meant. I -" Shahrzad began to say, but was cut off by Khalid's lips crashing down on hers.
The kiss was full of a fervor that had never been this deep between them before. The brief loss of each other they experienced a few days ago had left them with a great hunger that needed to be satiated.
"Apologies, my queen," Khalid said huskily before kissing her neck. "Your magnificent mouth was a temptation I could no longer resist. You may continue." Khalid didn't stop placing kisses along her collarbone, however, leaving Shahrzad breathless.
"I was…" Shahrzad trailed off, unable to remember what she had wanted to say as Khalid's touch was all she could focus on. She wanted more of him, and he certainly seemed to want more of her.
Shahrzad tangled her fingers through his hair and brought his head back up to hers so she could claim his lips as her own. Khalid's fingers found the laces of her shamla and began untying them. He started sliding the garment off her body and began to shift himself so he was above her.
However, as he did so, he suddenly winced and let out a groan of pain. He fell back down onto his back.
Shahrzad let out a shriek and quickly pulled up her shamla back over her body before getting up from the bed. She then knelt beside the bed and held onto Khalid's hand. "What's wrong?" she asked him.
"My chest is still sore."
"I need to get the physician and the shahrban," Shahrzad said as she began to stand up.
Khalid's grasp on her hand tightened, preventing her from stepping away. "Don't leave," he whispered.
She kissed his hand. "Never."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please review!
Also, just wanted to let you know that I've got quite a few other ideas for more Rose and the Dagger oneshots because I just can't get enough of these characters! And if there are any fic ideas you want me to write about, feel free to let me know and I'll see what I can do :)