Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Expect our computers. Everything else belongs to CBS.
Written by: Sissi59100 & Misery
Summary: Post ep –Pirates of the third Reich
As Nick entered the hospital corridor, Sara quickly placed a folder in front of her. Nick glanced couple of times up and down, and a suspicion entered his mind. Suspicion and a memory…
What one night can bring
Nick arrived at the hospital still disturbed from the autopsy he had to attend. He wasn't squeamish, but there was something disturbing about putting a needle in someone's eyeball, and than pulling it out along with the actual eye. He shuddered at the memory and hurried through the corridors. Sara paged him half an hour ago, and he was already late. He saw her leaning on a nearby wall, holding her jacket. What got his attention was the folder the quickly pulled in front of her but he continued his story about putting a bulletin out on the victim. However, he continued to throw glances toward her stomach.
Like she noticed exactly what he was thinking, she started to walk toward the examination rooms, still holding the folder in front of her. Of course, the case couldn't wait, but he decided that he will ask her what exactly is happening as soon as they close the case.
Quickly he jumped into his working mode, and his worries were almost forgotten when he saw the man without his eye. So, he decided to keep his attention to Sara. Finally, she was much better to look at than Jack the pirate.
After their meeting with Jack was finished, Nick had to go inform Grissom about what happened, and Sara needed to stay in the hospital while Jack was being prepped for examination.
The case was getting weirder with every minute.
He was driving towards the lab listening to some romantic songs on the radio – Valentines was approaching fast. He was again without a girlfriend on Valentines, and his thoughts started to drift and he caught himself thinking about what happened in his life last previous months; he was kidnapped, he saved a little girl from a horrible death while getting himself involved in the case, the woman responsible for his kidnapping was killed by another woman who was the actual cause, and then she killed herself. Yeah, his like wasn't getting any easier with years. How did he survive through all that? And than he remembered the night after Cassie was rescued. He was so lost after he interviewed her that he decided to relax with couple of drinks. He took a seat at the bar in the pub that was near his house and he ordered a drink. Even he was a beer guy; he knew he had to get something stronger. One drink led to another, and then another…and then his phone rang. It was Sara…
The thoughts quickly left his head when a honk woke him from his dream. He realized that he missed the light changing green, and he continued to drive. And than he remembered another thing that happened in his life…he slept with his best friend.
Flashback
"Another one man..."
It was his sixth drink, or maybe his seventh...well in fact, he stopped counting after the fifth one...He felt very sad, sad and broken...yeah broken was the right word...
".Poor Cassie" he thought, "her family was dead, she was the only survivor, and now she is all alone, like me"
Nick remembered what Sara said to him when they were working the case
"It wasn't your day to die Nick" ..."
Those words were dancing on his head... ahhhhh SARA ! He was thinking about her: She never let him down, she was always there for him, especially today when he completely lost it with the suspect, she tried to show how concerned she was about him, his behaviour, his quest for finding Cassie ALIVE...When she was talking to him , he was secretly smiling on the inside: he was a little bit surprised about her sudden interest for him, well it wasn't really sudden in fact: since he was buried alive , Sara showed him more and more how important he was to her...He never felt that before or at least not as strong as it is now: somebody cares about him, really care about him and he likes it...He thought about all the moments they shared through those years and oddly he only remembered the good moments, the looks , the smiles, the laughs...no fights, no cries, no yelling just love , pure and innocent love of a man for his best friend, or maybe she was more than that ...she is maybe my...BIIIIP BIIIIIP Nick was lost in thoughts when his phone rang
"Who is it? God I thought I turned it off...OH SARA" he almost screamed her name, everybody gave him suspicious looks...he felt uncomfortable so he picked up his phone
"Sara?"
"Yeah Nick it's me, where are you? I asked Warrick , he told me you were at the hospital so I went there to take you at home but you were already gone ..."
"Hold on Sara! Calm down I'm okay nobody has kidnapped me...well at least this time. " he laughed, one of those nervous laughs that you can't repress...
"It's not funny Nick, I was really worried."
He felt that she was hurt by what he said so he tried to correct that.
"Sorry Sar, I know it wasn't funny ...I'm in a bar, the one in front of the highway, trying to solve my problem with alcohol" he laughed again.
"Sara?"
No answer.
"Could you please stop laughing?" he heard Sara's voice behind him
"Waouh you were fast!" he told her, obviously impressed.
"Well, I wasn't so far away...how many drinks did you already have?"
She was looking at about ten empty glasses
"Enough to forget my problems but not enough to stay here and listen to you yelling at me" he was about to pay and leave the bar when Sar grabbed his arm...
"I'm sorry Nick...stay here with me, I think I need to drink something strong too...Sir? A double Tequila please"
"A double Tequila? Waouh miss Sidle , I didn't know you were such a crazy girl" he said sarcastically. She laughed out loud, one of those wonderful laughs he can't resist at...They stayed there together, drinking, laughing and sharing some intimates moments...It was like the whole world had disappeared: they were alone , nothing was disturbing them, not even the music...Now , Sara's hand was on Nick 's arm and she was slowly caressing him, so slowly that none of them paid attention to that...They finally decided to go home cause they thought they had drunk too much. On the parking lot, they were trying to walk straight, but they were failing miserably which caused them to laugh even harder.
"Look Sar, i really think we...need a taxi "- Nick finally said.
"I was about to propose you that, Mister Stokes" she said and then winked at him, not an innocent one this time...
They shared a taxi and as a gentleman, Nick has escorted Sara to her apartment cause she was more drunk than he was. Sara was nervously looking for her keys, Nick helped her and they finally found them after about ten minutes of search. He was about to tell her "goodbye and good night" when she proposed him something really surprising: she asked him if he wanted to take a last drink on her place. He didn't even think about that, about the after effect of such proposition, he only accepted and followed her on her apartment...
---
More quickly than he realized Nick reached the lab. He got out of his car and entered the building. He really needed something to keep his mind of his worries. Grissom informed him about the need to find the missing hand, and he and Warrick went to the desert. Just what he needed. Something to help him not think too much. At least not to think about his personal life.
"Okay, Grissom." – Warrick said jokingly, but Nick just stared at him. Smile rarely reached his face anymore, and he continued the search taking the lead. He always had the need to please Grissom, but he didn't notice that he started to act like him. He really wanted to prove that he can do his job well, even after the kidnapping. There was nothing wrong with that. At least he thought there wasn't.
He dismissed that thought also, like many other that had entered his mind recently. He became an expert at that. It was what kept him going day after day…
Sara was standing in the hospital hallways waiting for the doctor to finish his examination on Jack. She played with the folder in her hand knowing that it doesn't contain anything important. She leaned back on the wall remembering Nick's stares earlier.
"Did he notice?" – she thought. – "No, he couldn't. No one did, or at least no one showed any signs that they noticed anything."
Only Nick looked up and down at her and she could still feel his eyes going over her body, like his hands once did. He was speaking about what he did in the lab, but she barely even heard him. She was holding the folder in front of her, and she was still feeling his eyes. Why didn't she move it sooner? She was trying to remember his exact look. Was it just a coincidence? Was he interested in the folder? Why did he have that look on his face? Did she start to walk soon enough?
It was hard for Sara to figure out if Nick would say anything to her even if he did notice. Old Nick would, for sure. He would be concerned, he would ask. This Nick…well, she just couldn't tell anymore. After everything that happened, she wasn't sure of anything. The only thing she was sure of was the conversation they had after it happened.
Flashback
They woke together the next morning feeling headaches in their heads. They were turned away from each other, but very much awake. Knowing that she can't stay like that forever, Sara slowly turned on her back catching Nick's attention.
"Hey. You're awake?" – he asked softly in case she just rolled over in her sleep.
"Yeah, I'm awake." – she said matching the volume of his voice. The sound of him turning around was even louder that their voices. – "Are you feeling OK now?"
"Yeah, I have a headache though." – he simply said.
"Me too. I guess that is what happens when you drink that much liquor." – she tried to ease up the situation, but even she knew that it's nothing easy about it.
"I guess so. Hey, Sara, are you OK with this?" – he asked trying to catch her eyes.
"I'm OK. It's just that I feel a bit weird. The hangover has something to do with that also. Well, that and the fact that we…well, woke up together."
"After spending the night together." – he finished her thought. He avoided phrases: had sex or made love, because he didn't even know what they did exactly. He knew it felt good, better than good, but he was afraid that his emotions are disturbed. He couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. And he knew that Sara deserved to know the truth.
Sara noticed his tense appearance and she decided to make things easy on him.
"Look, Nick. I guess we really had too much to drink. I mean, you had a tough couple of days, and I was supposed to help you, and not get drunk with you."
"You did help. I needed to be close to someone last night." – he knew that the words were not the actual truth. He needed to be with her, but his mind wasn't letting his heart talk.
"In that case, I'm glad. You are a great friend, Nick, and I hate to see you hurt." –she said getting out of her bed. She needed a shower. Not because she was feeling dirty, but because she was feeling too good. Too good, covered with Nick's scent and her every skin cell still felt his touches.
"Thank you. I guess I'm going home now. I need to grab a few things before work." – he said hearing the water run. She kept the door opened and he could see her preparing herself. He wanted to be there with her, but he knew he had to go.
He started to get dressed and didn't realize that she was leaning on a bathroom door. She was observing him, trying to remember his features. She won't see them again.
He got dressed and turned to meet her stare.
"I can get myself out. You go take your shower."
"See you later." – she called after him sighing loudly when she heard the door close. He was gone.
End flashback
Sara's hand unwillingly went to her stomach and she caught herself touching it gently. She sighed and placed the folder back on front of her.
"No one can't know yet." – she thought.
---
Nick came back to the Lab; he couldn't stop thinking about the sudden gain of weight of Sara...
"Stop that Nick, she probably drinks too much beers" he thought inwardly, he even surprised himself smiling about this thought. He tried to put that thought away and went in the locker room.
He was lost in his thoughts when he heard steps from the hallway.
"Hey Stokes!" said Ecklie "Grissom called; the case is done, you can go home"
"Thanks, I will." He opened his locker and stayed there watching his reflection in the mirror; he couldn't stop thinking about that night, about THAT special night with Sara, the night they crossed the friendship's line...
Flashback
As soon as Sara closed the door, they both knew that night will be a special night: Nick quickly realized he was lost in her when he started caressing her arm and kissing her neck. He thought she wouldn't appreciate that so he finally stopped and took his time to look her in the eyes. She looked at him with her beautiful eyes and said
"Please don't stop. Not tonight"...they finally let the fever take over them and have a real long night of passion...
End flashback
Nick was awakened from his daydream by sudden noise from outside, and he grabbed his stuff before he slammed the door closed.
---
After a few long hours at the hospital, Sara finally left there with all evidence she needed from Jack. She got a call from Catherine who informed her about the basement, and the twin thing.
"Weird, weird, case." – she thought while driving herself back to the lab.
In the end she was thankful that she needed to stay with Jack in the hospital. Just the idea of it all disturbed her. Now all she wanted to do was to check in her evidence and to go home. She hasn't heard from Nick since he came to the hospital, and Catherine hasn't said anything about him, so she didn't know if he was in the lab, or still put in the field. Even if she was fairly convinced that he didn't notice anything, she just wanted to avoid him.
She entered the lab, glancing at nearby offices. Technicians were doing their work, and she nodded to Wendy approaching the evidence room. She quickly checked in her evidence and looked at the clock. Her shift was over, and she decided that she's out of there. Walking by Grissom's office, she noticed that he wasn't there, and she was glad. She hurried down the corridor to the locker room, but than stood in her tracks. The door was slightly open and she could see Nick leaning his head on his locker, his eyes closed.
"He's hurting again." – the thought pained her. All she wanted to do was to help him, like he had helped her a lot of times over the years. But she knew she couldn't. They weren't the same people anymore. – "I need to get out of here."
Deciding that she will grab her things later, she got out of the lab, and went back to her car. Sitting behind the wheel, she let a couple of minutes pass by, before she started the engine and drove herself home.
---
Nick was driving and thinking about Sara: her hair, her eyes, her smell , her skin...every single detail of that evening: the more he thought about that night, the more he remembered what exactly happened...the passion, the fever, her body...every part of him found her, needed her, didn't want let her go, ever...they were in a perfect osmosis...He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that he drove up to Sara's apartment...He stopped and watched her window: the lights were turned off so she probably wasn't at home yet, he thought.
After careful consideration, he decided to come into her building, and wait for her in front of her apartment.
---
Sara was hungry
"God I didn't eat anything since lunch, I need to buy something" she thought. She drove to a store where she knew she will find everything she wanted. When she entered the store, something attracted her attention: a smell, a delicate smell of...meat. She wanted meat, the baby wanted meat...It was pretty hard for her: she was vegetarian since she had seen the pig experience with Grissom for one of their cases...Everybody knew that she was a vegetarian and they respected that, what they would think if they knew that she was about to eat MEAT? She tried to repress that desire but she finally bought meat, a lot of meat … After 15 minutes she found everything she wanted and went to place the bags in her car. The drive home was short and slowly she got out not noticing Nick's car parked in front. Securing the bags in her hands she climbed up the steps that separated her from her apartment.
She stopped for a second hearing someone in the hallway.
"God I hope it's not mister Clintwood, I'm not in a good mood to hear him complaining about his neighbour...".
Nick sat down on the floor, leaning his back on Sara's front door. He remembered that night again; him entering her apartment, and also leaving it with a strange feeling how he left something there. Something that he thought he didn't even have anymore. He has heard some footsteps down the corridor and he looked up. His eyes met Sara's who showed surprise in her eyes.
"Nick. What are you doing here?" – she asked placing her bags in front of her. Again his eyes followed the move. He stood up, and tried to smile at her.
"I dropped by to talk to you, that's all."
"I was in the store." – she pointed to her bags feeling very uncomfortable, because she had at least three bags full of food in it.
"I can see that. Here, let me help you with that." – he softly said and than grabbed two bags out of her hands.
She smiled and took her keys out of her purse. She was nervous again, but she managed to get the door open in one move.
"Come on in. Make yourself at home." – her words sounded strange to her, that she couldn't help to roll her eyes. It's not like he was never here, it's not like he wasn't with her in her bedroom, it's not like she didn't want him here…- "I'll just take these to the kitchen."
She tried to get the bags from him, but he simply walked to the kitchen himself.
"I'll help you." – his voice was so small and quiet and she felt like she can feel his pain in her. She watched him getting the stuff out of the bags and placing them on the kitchen table.
"Nick, you don't have to do this." – she tried to stop him. There were a lot of stuff that she normally wouldn't eat, and she knew it was the matter of minutes before Nick will ask one specific question.
"It's OK. Expecting company?" – he asked not looking at her.
"No." – she got closer and started to empty another bag. – "My fridge is empty."
He nodded taking her explanation into consideration. He knew he had to ask her, but he also knew that he can't do that like he is asking her about the weather. He knew that he doesn't know what to do, or to say…just like he didn't know that night. Suddenly his hands stopped moving and he focused his attention to the object in hand. Sara looked up, but she couldn't see what he was holding still in the bag.
Slowly he took out a package, and paleness covered her face.
"Since when do you eat meat?" – he softly asked, like he already knew the answer to that question. There was nothing violent in his question, so Sara just sighed knowing that he knew. He wasn't looking at her folder before. He wasn't looking at her bags. He was looking at her.
"I just felt the need for it." – she answered playing with the bag that was in front of her. He nodded taking the package out of the bag and placing it on the table. He moved back and leaned back on the sink. Sara raised her look to him, and saw his inner struggle. She didn't know what to do or what to say.
"Nick…" – the words just hang there in the air, but he hasn't looked up.
"Why didn't you tell me?" – he simply asked.
"I didn't know how to tell you." – she leaned on the wall behind her trying to regain her focus. She could feel her eyes tear, and she didn't even know why.
"Does anyone else know?" – he forced himself to look at her, and he was surprised when he saw her looking up, obviously fighting the tears. – "Sara?"
"I'm ok." – she stopped him. – "I just need to…"
She turned around and went to the living room. She needed to sit, because she was feeling her legs letting her down. Nick watched her move, and he followed her to the living room. In silence he watched her sitting down and grabbing one of the pillows and placing it strategically over her stomach. He knew that she got used to doing that.
"No one knows." – she caught his attention and again he met her eyes.
He was trying to find the words to express himself. He was trying to rationalize things, like he got used to doing these last past months. But he couldn't fight his emotions.
"Did you go to the doctor?" – he asked her still standing up in front of her. He didn't feel the need to ask if the child was his. He just knew…
"I did. Everything is ok." – she really didn't know what to do, or what to say. Nick was holding his guard, and again she was trying to see what he thinks or wants. Again, she was ready to give him the easy way out.
"Good," – he sat on the chair next to her, his eyes falling on that pillow she was holding. Like the invisible force was guiding his hand he leaned forward and took it from her, surprising her as well. – "You don't have to hide it anymore."
"It was on instinct." – she said watching him with eyes wide open. He was staring at her stomach feeling her eyes on him. But, he didn't care. He stood up, and sat next to her, not once removing the look from her. The same impulse guiding him once again and he placed his hand on her stomach, causing her to shift a bit. That got his attention, and he looked up fear overwhelming him that he crossed the line.
She just smiled and placed her hand over his.
"Sorry. Your hand is a bit cold, that's all."
He nodded a small smile on his lips. It was good to see the smile that reached his eyes. It was weird to see it again. She almost got used to never seeing it again. He brought both of his hands to his mouth and he tried to warm them with his breath. After a couple of seconds of silence he placed his hand on Sara's stomach again. This time she didn't shirt from cold. She felt his warm hand and she almost burst into tears. Hormones were taking over her, and the fact that Nick was there caressing her stomach scared her. She was afraid to actually think that he liked the idea of her being pregnant with is child. She was fighting her tears, but her emotions as well.
"Nick…you have to know that I don't expect anything from you. You don't have to feel that…" – she was trying to say the words calmly but her voice was trembling.
"Shhh." – he simply said and that was enough. She remained quiet on the outside, but she was screaming on the inside. Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore, and she grabbed his hand, but not removing it from her stomach.
"Nick, stop."
"Sara…just let me talk. OK?" – he needed to say something before he ran out of courage.
"OK." – she whispered still holding his hand.
"These last past months, ever since the kidnapping, I wasn't myself. I know all of you noticed, but I was glad that you understood that I can't be the same guy I was before. The experience has changed me, and I tried to play this new role that was given to me. Except, I refused to play it the way you all expected me. I didn't to feel weak, small, I didn't want for all of you to pity me." – he stopped for a second trying to figure out if he was making any sense. He also wanted to hear his heart speak this time. He looked up, and saw understanding in Sara's eyes, so he continued. – "That night, I made a huge mistake. I tried to dismiss everything that happened between us. I thought that it will work out fine if I pretend that it was just a one night stand, something we both needed at that time. And in a way it was what I needed, but I needed it to be with you also…"
Sara took a deep breath as she heard his last words. What was he saying…?
"Nicky…" – she called him that, maybe the first time out loud since that night. – "What are you saying?"
He looked up, and noticed that fear shadowed her beautiful eyes, and more than anything he wanted to wipe it away.
"I'm saying, that I want to be here for you. I want to play a role in your life and in our baby's life. You don't have to go through this alone. You won't have to go through this alone."
Relief overwhelmed her body, and she leaned back on the sofa not once removing the look from his eyes. She was trying to see if he was saying that because he felt the need to say that to her, but suddenly she forgot about that. She saw something else there. A small spark that brought Nick the expression he wore for the last five years, and lost these past few months.
"You're sure?" – it was all she managed to get out.
"Sara. That wasn't a mistake. The fact we took it for granted was. And I know you think that too. I saw you how you acted the last month. You were smiling, and you were happy. You are happy, aren't you? You want to have this baby with me, right?"
She knew that she was getting weird looks, because of her sudden change in behaviour. She was smiling more, and Nick was right.
"I do." – her sentences got smaller, because she was afraid to speak.
"And do you want me in your life as well?"
She couldn't help herself no more, and she let her tears fall. All she managed to do was to nod before letting them fall. She wasn't used to getting what she wanted…His arms went around her, and he brought her closer to him, observing her face. He leaned forward and finally brought his lips to hers. It was different that that night. There wasn't alcohol involved now.
Only the three of them…
A/N – Well, this idea came to our heads while watching "Pirates of the third Reich". I hope you'll enjoy it, and let us know what you think. :D