Her blonde curls bobble when she runs, trying to catch invisible somethings in the air, feet weaving paths on the short grass, crumbling it under black doll shoes. She giggles when her hands close around a dandelion, the sound tinkles across the gardens and he smiles. Her dress was white once at seven am, before she went to war with swamp monsters. She won. She always did.
"How is she?"
"Happy. Have you changed your mind?"
The crease in his forehead is pleading, so are his eyes but she hasn't met them in months.
"You know I haven't," A lie, she had, tens of dozens of times, but always the same decision came to win at the end "It's the best for her."
"The best for her is her mother," his judgement stings, because it is him and because it's how she fells, too, despite reason. Guilty and regretful even when she can still hear her daughter's childish laughter ringing.
"They will find her, and they will take her away," she declares, sure he can hear the desperation in her voice, how much she's grasping.
"So you will send her away instead," he argues, but the edge of accusation seems softer now "Where is the sense in that?"
She bites her lip, watches the girl do a twirl with grace that doesn't belong to five year old legs. She sees something far up on a branch and jumps, higher than it should be possible to land back safely for any child. Peggy's heart skips a beat, they'd never let her go.
She straightens her back, "My parents will take good care of her."
Jarvis nods and slowly turns to look at her with kindness, "I'm sorry, Miss Carter."
She can't meet his comprehension, it makes this real.
"She will forget me," she whispers "Forget I am her mother"
"That is the price"
She tries to swallow the lump in her throat but it doesn't go down. "Is it time?" She asks.
"Yes if she'll need a shower first" He turns to watch muddy shoes, ripped socks and lace hanging loose from the rim of a dress "And she will"
"Alright." Her voice trembles and one of her hands comes to cover her mouth. Tears are hard to hold back.
"She will be fine" It's a weak attempt at comfort, and he knows that isn't what wounds her, but even knowing the truth doesn't take the pain away from when she says it out loud.
"I know. I'm afraid I won't be"
He puts a hand on her shoulder, "She'll always have your eyes"
"And everything else of his," she says, and looks at him with glossy eyes "He would hate me."
Jarvis doesn't know much about Steve Rogers but he knows this "He would understand"
She breathes in deeply, looks at the girl again, "He would love her"
Jarvis would like to think he knows that about him too.