You know when you meet someone, how everything about who they are intoxicates you? In my experience, it can only be equated to a drug addiction, something that overtakes your senses and demands more immediately.
Thats how it was for me, when I met her. The eyes, the smile, the breathless laugh, all of it. Overwhelming. Intoxicating. Alluring.
Of course, I didn't act on it. I was with Finn. I was the head Cheerio. I was the Queen Bee. I was a good Christian girl. I was a Fabray. I was straight.
And now, I'm none of those things. Especially though, I'm not hers. And that's what kills me the most when I'm lying in bed at night.
I lost her. Watched her slip away to follow her dreams as mine went with her onto that train into the city. And now I'm left to pick myself up the best I can in Conneticut, while my heart is in NYC.
It was 3 am again, like it always seems to be. The night is warm, and Quinn is wide awake. She knows she should be asleep, classes begin tomorrow morning, but she still can't find a way to doze. Her mind races through the years she's put behind her like a film. Flashes of bright red fabric interchange seamlessly with the bright brown of eyes flashing towards her from inside the choir room as they wove through a song she no longer remembered. She sighed, and shook off the remaining sheet from her skin and laid there only in her sleep shorts and tank top. Her roommate was gone again, so not having to concern herself with keeping quiet, she got up and stood at the window of her dorm room. The path outside was abandoned, duh, but not lonely. It was a nice room, she had to admit. The view wasn't the best, but it was perfect for the hours of contemplation gazing she planned on doing this semester. The fact that the incoming freshman has been there for a whopping 3 days and her roommate had already secured a boytoy and another place to stay was comforting to Quinn, oddly enough. She had done the social thing in high school, and that had gotten her knocked up, closeted, and wary of close personal relationships. So as she stood, alone, in the dark of her new room she was calm. Not at peace, not settled, but calm. And considering the emotional turmoil that had encased her last three years, that was the best she could ask for. She was in love with Rachel. She wanted to be with her, hold her, kiss her, love her, exist with her.
But Rachel wasn't there or aware of what the blonde was feeling, but as she lie awake in her dorm in the glorified halls of NYADA, her thoughts were of someone she had left when she boarded that train. And those hazel eyes weren't making it any easier to move on.
Authors note: Hi, and thank you for reading this far! I know this is a slow start, but I've gotten a huge creative kick and have a good chunk of the next chapter done, and will hopefully have it up within a few days. Rest assured it is way longer, and will delve into the background of this a bit more, and then we'll get into the groove of the story. Thanks, and I'd love you to leave a review