A/N:Picture creds to this story to "missy riyae"
I don't own HP. Just playing with the characters.
Songs:
1) Back in Your Head- Tegan and Sara- I just want back in your head...
2) Comme des Enfants by Coeur de Pirate- "Et moi, je t'aime un peu plus forte"
3) Quelqu'un m'a dit by Carla Bruni- "Quelqu'un m'a dit que tu m'aimes encore"
Chapter 1: An unexpected confession
"I heard that Judy wants to confess to James that she likes him," Mary told Marlene while buttering a piece of toast. Lily's head snapped up away from the book in front of her as she dropped the piece of toast in her hand.
"WHAT? I mean, Judy likes Potter…uh…James?" Lily asked, barging into the conversation. Marlene, Mary, and the group of girls around them all stared at her before they burst out laughing.
"YOUR FACE! (You have a little butter on your chin….and a few crumbs in your hair…what did I tell you about doing your homework while eating, Lily?) Haha, but really, I thought EVERY0NE knew!" Mary laughed, glancing pityingly at Lily. Lily rolled her eyes, while grabbing a napkin and fixing her reflection in the back of a spoon.
"You know I never listen to your gossip unless it actually concerns me or one of us…and besides, how will Ada take the news?" This comment was followed by more silence as Lily's girlfriends stared at her as if she were crazy, or lost, or pathetic, or a combination of the three.
"Lily, honey," Marlene said patting her on the shoulder, "James and Ada broke up two weeks ago…didn't you see James looking miserable the first few days after the split? You must have noticed something when you two were doing rounds."
"But honestly even if you didn't, literally EVERY0NE was talking about it for the past two weeks- it is pretty big news that James Potter is single again," Emily piped in. The girls all around Lily simultaneously sighed dreamily before glancing around at each other and laughing again. Lily ignored them while wracking her brains. James HAD been acting differently during their rounds (he had been exceptionally quiet and moody…)
The odd fluttery creature inside her chest began making its presence known as what Marlene had said fully sunk in. James Potter was single, for the first time since their sixth year.
James. Potter. Single. The creature thumped inside her chest.
While the girls continued gossiping, Lily scanned the Gryffindor table in search of the Head Boy, finally spotting him walking into the Great Hall.
She watched as James along with Remus, Sirius, and Peter trudged in and took their seats.
Sirius barked a short, strained laugh at the joke he had just finished telling and immediately after cringed at the sound. Peter forced a chuckle. James smiled swiftly before his face lost all signs of humor again. Remus ignored Sirius completely and began scanning the skies as he piled bacon onto his plate.
James helped himself to a heaping plate of eggs and toast while pouring him a glass of pumpkin juice on the side. And then he too joined Remus in scanning the skies- he knew he wouldn't be able to scarf down his breakfast until after the post had arrived.
After what had seemed like ages a swarm of birds flocked into the Great Hall. James looked up immediately, trying to spot his snowy owl among the hundreds of birds. His owl landed with a THUD next to his plate and obediently held out her foot so James could grab the letter tied there. He did so eagerly, and then let out a sigh of relief.
"Mum and dad are fine," he told Sirius. "They send you their love, and hope you will be joining us for Christmas. You guys as well, Moony, Wormtail". He continued to read his letter while he began masticating three pieces of toast at once. His owl began helping herself out of his goblet of pumpkin juice.
"Tell them I say thanks, Prongs," Lupin said as he unrolled a copy of The Daily Prophet his own owl had just delivered. He quickly skimmed the pages, while Sirius peeked over his shoulders at the paper.
"There was an unprecedented muggle-attack at Black Horse Lane two nights ago- Ministry aurors succeeded in catching two of the six culprits, though two aurors were injured in the process. There's been a dementor attack -two witches, both escaped unharmed. It is suspected that the Giants were indeed the cause for last week's earthquake. Ministry says they are doing the best they can under the circumstances, though no other new arrests for that case…nothing else new really."
"Which bastards did they catch yesterday? Please tell me at least one was a dear relative of mine," Sirius said gruffly, though his tone had a hint of humor in it.
"Looks like you are out of luck today, Padfoot," Remus said, laughing. "Well, that's that," he said as he placed the newspaper beside his plate. Sirius grabbed the paper from him to start on his daily crossword puzzle. By this time, James's own plate was nearly empty since he had shoveled five pieces of toast and three eggs into his mouth.
"Slow down Prongs, or you'll choke yourself!" Remus warned. James swallowed before responding.
"Practice early today- our Quidditch match is coming up soon, gotta be prepared. I'll catch you guys later," he said, hastily tossing his letter into his bag, scratching his owl's head in farewell, and hurrying out the hall.
"Earth to Lily," Mary said, poking her cheek.
"Huh?" Lily looked around. Marlene and Mary were both staring at her, knowing smirks on their faces. The other girls around them were engrossed in their own conversations, leaving Lily a moment alone with her best friends.
"Someone has been zoning out on a certain boy's face," Marlene said snarkily, grinning.
"What? Uh…no, I—"
"Oh, she's got it bad…." Mary said shaking her head.
"Got what?"
"Love bug," Marlene and Mary said simultaneously before giggling. Lily could feel her face flushing unflatteringly to match the color of her hair.
"You guys, don't be ridiculous, I have no idea what you are talking about," she replied snottishly, grabbing her book from off the table before attempting to stand. Marlene grabbed her shoulder to restrain her.
"LILY! WHERE ARE Y0U G0ING? Don't be such a spoil-sport, we were just teasing," she said.
"Huh? 0h yeah, I know, its fine - I just forgot that I have to ask Potter…I mean James, something about rounds tonight."
"Uh…"
"I'll catch you guys later," she said, shaking free and nearly sprinting to follow James' retreating figure.
James hurried out the door and ended up stepping on something rather fluffy and wriggly...a cat that seemed to have appear out of nowhere.
"HOLY mother of hippogriff!" James yelled, veering to the left as the cat screeched and shot away from his foot. He looked more closely at the screeching animal, expecting to see Mrs. Norris, but was instead surprised to find Lily Evans' orange cat hissing at him.
"Oh, it's you. you stupid pesky animal-D0N'T SCRATCH ME. You know, your owner has been going crazy searching for you- convinced that some monster in the forbidden forest had you for a meal. I told her no creature, magical or otherwise, would want to eat such an ugly piece of meat, but that only seemed to upset her further. I would go find her if I were you. By now I'm sure you are smart enough to understand me, so don't just—"
"JAMES, YOU FOUND GIZMO!" A voice behind him screeched. James spun around in surprise as a delighted-looking Lily Evans ran towards him from the entrance to the Great Hall. He ignored his speeding heart beat.
"Uh…yeah, hey Evans, I just stumbled upon her," he said awkwardly as Lily picked up the vile creature, which immediately began purring contentedly. James rolled his eyes.
"Glad I could be of assistance. Well, I have to run, I'll see you later," he said, turning around and heading for the double doors ahead of him.
"Oh, hold on a minute, James, wait!" she called, running forward, the cat still cradled in her arms. "I actually came out here because I wanted to talk to you about something," she said.
James turned back around again with an air of impatience. "Alright, sure, but could you make it quick? I'm almost late for practice," he said though not unkindly, glancing at his watch.
"Oh, uh, sure. I just wanted to ask you if, well…" A few seconds ticked by. Lily's gaze flitted from James' eyes which were betraying confusion and impatience, to his robes, to the cat in her hand. "Um. So, how are you doing, James?" Lily finished lamely, her face again flushing to match her hair.
"Urgh, Lily, I'm captain- I can't be late unless this is something really important."
"No I know you're right, we can talk later." She said, turning away immediately relieved but somewhat disappointed. James stared after her.
"No, it's okay Lily, you can go ahead."
"But, you'll be late," she retorted, turning around to face him again nonetheless.
"It's fine, Prewett will cover for me."
"W-well...alright, sorry, well, I mean…urgh, let me try again. So I JUST heard that you and Ada broke up recently, and I know this might be a little late, but I just wanted to check and see if you were doing alright," she said bravely, finally looking him squarely in the eyes with what she hoped was a look of deep concern for his well being.
"Oh...Er, jeez Lily, that's really nice of you. Yeah, I'm fine," he ran a distracted hand though his hair. "To be honest, we'd been rocky for ages- it was just a messy break up. But aside from that, I'm fine, really," he said shooting her his thousand watt smile—teeth and all. Lily stared up at him, her almond eyes open wide, her mouth slightly ajar, not making a sound. She looked dazed. James shifted uncomfortably- was there something stuck between his teeth? "I really appreciate your concern, though. Thanks," he finished, before making to turn again, eager to run away from the awkward situation. Lily snapped out of her daze.
"Wait! There's something else that I wanted to ask you," she blurted out. James turned back around, barely suppressing his annoyance. He quickly surveyed the hall and checked that they were still alone.
"Yes?"
"I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but… do you like Judy?" she blurted before she could contain herself. James blinked at her, looking increasingly exasperated.
"What? Judy-Judy Abbott? I think she's nice. Yeah, she's a nice girl, I like her. Are you asking if I…like her like her?" James asked. Lily nodded."Then no, I don't," he shot her a calculating look as he said this. "But why are you asking?"
"Oh," Lily said, relief flowing through her. "Well, I just heard something about you and Judy, is all, and was just, ah, wondering," she finished pathetically. She felt heat rushing to her cheeks as one of James' eyebrows traveled further and further up his forehead. With all her information gathered, Lily was preparing to make a hasty escape. As if he read her mind, James spoke.
"Okay, not so fast Lily- I am officially late to practice," he said, glancing at his watch, "thanks to you, and now I want some clarification. Is that really all you had to ask me, or is there something else on your mind that you would like to discuss with me? Because you've never taken gossip so seriously...well, at least gossip concerning me."
"Um no, really, that's all - I mean I just wanted to see if you were okay after the whole Ada thing, because I think, as a concerned frie— as someone who sort of cares about you, I think it's probably best for you to move on," Lily said.
"It's good to know you sort of care for me, Evans," James said, an amused glint in his eye.
"I didn't mean—"
"Anyway, you want me to move on to Judy?"
"No! I mean. Uh, not unless you like her? But you just said you didn't. So. I don't think she seems like the girl for, er, you James," Lily finished lamely, ready to throw herself off of the Astronomy Tower. James stared at her incredulously.
"You were the one who brought her up! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you sounded jealous, or something," he said. Lily opened her mouth to protest.
"Jealous?" She screeched, outwardly indignant. "0f what?" James groaned and rolled his eyes.
"I don't know of what Lily! I'm just telling you what you sound like," James said. Lily cut him off.
"I am NOT jealous of Judy, James. Since you clearly just said you don't like her," she scoffed. And then she froze. James blinked. And blinked again.
"So, what you are saying is," he paused. "You would be jealous if I did like her?" Lily didn't respond. She could not look at him. She was tempted to run for her life, but found she was unable to move her feet. She nervously clenched her arms together—
"OUCH!" Gizmo hissed fiercely at the pressure being put around her before shooting out of her owner's arms and out of sight. Lily gazed at the scratches on her arm, silently thankful for a new distraction.
"That's the first time Gizmo has scratched me in ages!" Lily exclaimed trying to sound shocked instead of relieved. With an impatient sigh, James grabbed her arm, ignoring her squeak of protest as he examined her cuts.
"Your "cat" has given me worse scratches than these- you'll live. Now talk, Evans." Lily searched desperately for a way out of the awkward situation. Seconds ticked by, and James continued to stare at her with that scrutinizing gaze that made Lily feel quite exposed. She noticed how his hand still gripped her arm tightly, and how to her dismay her whole arm was tingling because of the contact. James was now definitely standing too close for comfort- she could feel the heat radiating off his body. She felt sweat forming at her temples and under her arms. And Lily could see no way out of this situation.
"Fine!" she said, shaking her arm free of James and taking a few steps away from him. Ignoring the look of hurt that flashed in James' eyes, she said, "I really would rather tell you this at a different time, but like you said, I've already deterred you and you are already late, and I honestly do owe you an explanation for how I've been acting." Lily's heart began to race as she mustered up all the courage in her body.
"Look James, we've been through a lot together these past few years- actually since our first year at Hogwarts, but I feel like we've been through, uh, better, I mean, good times since, you know, 6th year, " she brushed her hair behind her ears as she continued talking very quickly half hoping he would miss the words if they came out at a rapid fire rate, "since Alice and Frank's wedding the summer before our sixth year, actually, though actually that was the start of the getting-better-ness, I guess..." She knew she was rambling, but stumbled on, her eyes fixated on James' throat. She avoided locking gazes with those brilliant eyes behind his glasses. Though she couldn't see his eyes, she was aware of his single eyebrow travelling higher and higher up his forehead.
" And I feel like, I've gotten to know you a lot better, almost as a good friend, except that I, well, I don't really want to be friends with you," Lily winced. "Oh that's not what I meant! I mean I don't want to be just frie-what I meant to say is that after all that we've been through, all the times you've helped me out of sticky situations- there was the time you helped me out of that trick step, the number times you've helped me out in Transfiguration…and in History of Magic…and in Defense Against the Dark Arts, the times you've listened to me vent in rounds , and made me laugh when all I feel like doing since Voldemort's gained power is...well...I mean, after all those times, I've started to notice that I sort of, maybe, er, feel differently about you." Lily paused and looked into James' eyes despite herself. His expression was unclear, though she thought he looked a little abashed. But she couldn't decipher the other emotion she was seeing played across his face.
"Lily…what?"
"I know I don't really show it...but I really admire you for how brave you've been in the face of all the Voldemort stuff, and how you are handling it better than anyone else I know. And I think it's so...wonderful how you basically adopted Sirius as your brother, how you lie through your teeth for Remus, how you help Peter get through his work no matter what," Lily was staring at James's hair as she spoke, words tumbling at the speed of lighting out of her mouth. She decided it was better to have her hair covering her face after all. "I like how you get so excited at the prospect of Quidditch, even after about 16 years of playing the stupid game, I get so frustrated every time you run your hand through your hair like you just did, honestly, because I sometimes want to…myself…and I can't believe I just said that out loud, oh my goodness, I should really, really, REALLY go now but before I do I just wanted to tell you that…" she began backing away, slowly, her gaze still directed downwards, her face burning and tears of humiliation threatening to spill from her eyes.
"I think I like you, James Potter."
Now she turned on her heel and prepared to sprint out the entrance hall. Before she had even taken two steps, she felt a hand clamp down on her wrist, and turn her body around.
"Lily, look at me," he said. Lily cringed. James sounded…angry? Before she mustered the courage to do just that, the doors leading from the Great Hall burst open and out streamed hundreds of students on their way out from Sunday morning breakfast. Lily jumped and tried to free herself of James' vice-like grip, but this only caused him to press harder.
"We're not done talking," he said, something like anger still evident in his voice as he proceeded to drag her through the crowd, ignoring the loaded looks he was receiving from the student body. She did not protest though all she wanted to do was run in the opposite direction. What had she just done? She cringed as James opened the door to an empty classroom and led her in before closing the door behind them. They were alone once again.
He turned to face her.
"Now, whose idea was this? If it's a sick, twisted joke, or a dare, I have to say, Lily, you're not the person that I thought you were."
After that dramatic statement Lily couldn't keep quiet.
"It wasn't a-"
"I must have misheard because it sounded like you, Lily Evans, who told me once that you would rather date the giant squid than ever go on a date with me,"— Lily cringed here –"just said that you like me. James Potter."
"Is that true?" Lily honestly couldn't blame him for his anger now. Without looking at him, she nodded. He barked a short laugh.
"Damn it, look at me, Lily," he hissed. Surprised, Lily looked up against her better judgment. She looked straight into those brilliant and emotive eyes which were shining with anger, but also humor, and finally that same indescribable emotion… He moved until he stood right in front of her, towering over her.
"Do it NOW, Evans," he said firmly.
"Do…what, James?" she asked.
"You know what."
"Uhm." She looked down. James, with a gentle hand, gripped her chin and nudged her to look up at him again. And now she could barely see any traces of the anger in his eyes. They were instead filled with humor. Was he laughing at her?
"You have to ask me out." His lips were twisted into a crooked smile, and his eyes danced.
Merlin, Lily thought, how did I get myself in this position?
A/N: There you have it! And reviews/ comments are love =)