~ August 19, 2002 ~

Page: Hi all. Man, I can't believe I'm bringing this back from the grave. This was the first fic I ever wrote. I don't even remember when. I had my friend Kirei Tenshi edit it for me. I'm sure you've heard of her. She's brilliant in every way. I'm not too sure how much potential this fic actually has. I've decided spur of the moment to make this a songfic; I can't believe how well this fits. Well, we'll see, hmm?

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the Gundam boys, I merely play naughty with them. I don't own Daft Punk or their song " Something About Us " either. So don't sue me, please. You won't get anything out of it.

Baby Steps

When I woke up this morning, I got this amazing feeling. Perhaps, today was the day. I didn't know what it was but I knew it was…something.

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When I stepped into the room and made my way to my cold, unused bed, he didn't notice me. He didn't even flinch. How could he not notice me!? Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean to sound vain by any means, but if you woke up to what I woke up to you'd be just as curious.

I padded across the nippy wooden floor, letting my feet make an audible thwap that just begged to be acknowledged. I jumped on to my bed, intentionally making the bed squeal in disagreement. Yet, he still sat with his back toward me, clicking away into oblivion. As I threw my body backward, I let another squeak pierce the silence. In an attempt to think more clearly, I tossed an arm over my eyes.

/ It might not be the right time

I might not be the right one

But there's something about us I want to say

Cause there's something about us anyway /

Just five minutes ago I was asleep on the creamy rug by the fire, allowing the crackle of the dancing flames to lull me to rest. I awoke to a gentle touch and the jabber of Japanese coming in a soothing and sultry tone. I figured it was Heero's mouth. As it goes, I'm the only other pilot that can speak little, if any Japanese, so you can imagine.

I was completely taken off guard by the unfamiliar feeling of the situation and it shocked me head to toe. I thought that I was dreaming or something because since when did Heero talk so much… and in a tone like that? Still, I showed no signs of waking. I can do that too you know… appear to be sleeping. Heero's not the only one.

He would stop talking if I stirred, I just knew it, and I was having a hard time keeping my breathing at a steady pace. What the hell was Heero doing? Before I fell into my comfortable nap, I was sure that my hair was up and tangled; yet now, I can feel him running his fingers through it over and over. I tried to understand what exactly it was that he was saying, but he was talking so quickly… like he couldn't get it all out in enough time… like I was going to wake up and catch him.

Well, I did catch him.

I could faintly make out some words and phrases, but mainly names. I think he was talking about life before the war, life before he met us, life with mentor. God knows he mentioned his name enough and with enough hatred as well. At least I know him and I feel the same about the so-called 'doctors' who further aided our corruption. It was then that something he said stayed with me, it almost made me stiffen and give myself away.

" J no shiseiji, " and he paused for a moment, the longest pause since I had woken up. " Duo… chiisai-koro… ki-ni sunna yo." J you bastard. Duo…when I was small…never mind…

/ I might not be the right one

It might not be the right time /

I don't know what possessed him to say such things. His phrases were broken and wouldn't make sense if he were to say it without the long pauses. Sad to say, but it seemed he really did have social problems. It was awkward to hear it coming from him, to talk about himself, to talk at all. He certainly said my name a lot too. Starting and pausing after letting my name roll off of his lips as if he were using it in his native tongue. It gave me shivers down my spine that no amount of firewood could calm. As he continued his rambling, another part of his open declarations froze me to my spot.

" Omae ni au-tabi ni… mada Duo… Nanka itte. " Each time I see you…not yet Duo… Say something. He said, whispering the last part, as if I, in my deep slumber was actually going to reply.

So I took that opportunity to act as if I was still asleep and maneuvered myself to take hold of one of Heero's legs. I think he was shaken because he stiffened and sucked in a big breath. I kinda wanted to laugh at him for being so paranoid. It occurred to me then, that he might have figured I was awake after a few moments because he pried my hand and head off of the leg that I was comfortably snuggling to and practically ran from the room.

/ But there's something about us I've got to do

Some kind of secret I will share with you /

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So now what 's to be done? I've pondered the thought for a while now. It's unreal, HEERO!! Someone as apathetic as him, going off at the mouth much like I do. All of this made me think that he'd done this sort of thing often with me, while I was sleeping, and that he was probably cutting it close this time around. As I sat up quickly, the bottoms of my feet pressed lightly against each other, I watched as Heero's body went rigid a little. That seemed weird, even to me. This was just ridiculous. I sighed and thought. It looked as though I would have to take the initiative.

/ I need you more than anything in my life /

"Hey Heero, whatcha doin?"

I let a smile spread across my face at my choice of words. So many times conversations had started this way. Well… how I started them. He was silent for a while and I thought that he wasn't going to answer. So to urge him on, I got up from my unbelievably comfortable bed and started walking toward him.

/ I want you more than anything in my life /

He apparently heard the groan of the bed because his answer came out quick and efficient. " Mission log."

I smiled. I had this one, " On whose orders was that given?"

Heero swiveled in his chair and looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I don't see why, it was simple enough of a question.

"Heero?"

He didn't have to answer but he did, " Dr. J. "

I smiled again. I definitely had this, " Take a break, J no shiseiji."

His fingers froze over the keys, but started up again after only a moment. Walking toward him, I peered over his shoulder bending close to his ear, " Nanka itte."

He froze again, then let his fingers ghost over the keys. I looked left, towards his face. His brows furrowed in concentration as he plinked one more key. He slowly turned his head to face mine and he stared at me briefly. Then suddenly, a look of utter fear crossed his features and he knew he had been had.

/ I'll miss you more than anyone in my life /

I lightly bumped my forehead against his before pulling back. " S'okay Heero." I said.

I didn't know what else to say. He looked terrible. He looked like he needed a hug. So I took his forearm and stood him up. I slowly guided his arms around my waist and locked them behind me.

" It's okay." I reiterated, looking him in the eye.

The fear seemed to slip away as I encircled my arms around his neck and pulled him close, cradling his head in my hands as I rubbed the nape of his neck.

"Yeah." He said, his voice muffled by my shirt.

I don't know if he knew I didn't understand most of what he had said, but he didn't need to know that. He could always tell me when I was awake.

I smiled, " Yeah."

/ I love you more than anyone in my life /

~ Owari ~

Note: I'd really REALLY love reviews on this. It 's nice to know that my efforts for posting this aren't all for nothing, you know? So please tell me, like it, love it, hate it… I'm all ears and thankful for anything I get. J