Shades of Red
.:.
You should know that this isn't simply a crush
It's more, and I know you can't return my feelings.
How could you?
You're a m-e-m-o-r-y,
A ghost,
and yet that doesn't stop me.
I know this, but yet why is there a tugging at my heart
When I know I'll n e v e r see you again after tonight?
My side is trying to kill you,
How can I turn away from that?
You're asking the [impossible],
Perhaps I'll see you in another life.
But for now
You should know,
Every tear I cry,
I cry for you.
.:.
I sat still; my bones ached, my muscles twitched in a fit to get me to move, but there I sat. The heat of the afternoon sun heated my skin; I knew if I stayed any longer I would burn as red as my hair. I should care, but I didn't. The Battle of Hogwarts killed all my friends, and I died along with them. Birds chirped their songs as they wheeled in my mind, it was as if it were a lament for the life I lived, and the one that would soon cease to exist.
In the distance I made out a deep rumble. They were coming, I knew it. But why was I so nervous?
My fiery red hair waved wildly about as the wind suddenly picked up, almost in a manner of telling of the encroaching evil. My chocolate brown eyes focused on the hill before me. I began to count the pieces of grass that lay crumpled on the ground, name the trees that touched the sky along the forest, and at one point I imagined I heard voices whispering in my ear. The breeze grew colder as the yellow sun began to hide behind the hill.
That was when I saw them, more importantly, that's when I saw him. He looked much different from when I last laid my eyes on him. The soft, wavy, black hair that complimented his chizzled jaw was gone, leaving not one hair on the top of his pale head. His dark eyes were replaced by piercing red slits and his straight teeth came to yellow points, only truly visible when he smiled.
Voldemort came marching towards me with a small crowd of his most loyal followers, and yet all I could see was his sixteen-year-old self.
As they neared I began to shake, not out of terror, but out of sadness. I never thought I would be face-to-face with him once again. I didn't see him as the mass murderer he is, but as the innocent boy I met when I was still small and naïve.
I closed my eyes, took in my last shaky breath, and couldn't help but relive the last agonizing memory of him.
~0~0~0~0~
I awoke with a start. The back of my head pounded as if someone had dropped a hammer on it. I slowly opened my eyes and attempted to focus on my surroundings. I could barely make out a single thing, for my vision seemed cloudy and unfocused.
I couldn't help but let out a groan as I pushed myself up off the cold, gray stone. My muscles screamed in protest as I got up into a sitting position. I dazedly looked around. All I saw was stone walls with what looked like a huge statue standing in the middle of an open chamber. I shook my head and I made out a figure standing a good distance away from me. My stomach bubbled with excitement; I thought maybe they could help me.
I opened my mouth and started to speak, but was interrupted by the figure. "I see you're awake," They spoke softly, in a comforting way, almost as if they were talking to a child or a lover. It was a teenage boy who spoke, though I didn't recognize the voice.
"Your silence says you haven't the slightest idea who I am, am I not mistaken?" He turned around and gracefully walked towards me. He was right; I was only a first-year and most likely haven't even began to see every student, but something about him seemed unworldly. I was sure he didn't go here.
I blinked my eyes several times to try and focus on the mystery boy. My mind attempted to run through all the students I knew, but nobody came close to that boy.
"Uh," I paused, "Well, no. I bumped my head or something, but I can't seem to remember who you are."
He let out a quiet chuckle before saying, "Even after all our late nights talking and the secrets we shared, none of that meant anything?"
It was like a light bulb went off in my head, "Tom? Tom Riddle?"
I sat up straighter then ever before. He was in front of me, actually in front of me. I couldn't believe it, but like everything, good things must come to an end. He slowly walked over even closer and bent down so we were face-to-face, so close that I could make out his features. His face let out an angelic glow as his eyes lite up with such joy.
"The one and only," He stood back up and flashed a smile my way before turning around. He spoke again before I could say more, "But it's a shame, this being the last time we will ever talk. I was beginning to enjoy our little chats."
"Wha-what do you mean? Our last time to talk?" My stomach dropped and my eyes widened. He couldn't be serious, at least I thought he couldn't be.
"Oh dear little Ginny, did you honestly think I would stay around and listen to your worries and woes forever? No, especially after that little stunt you pulled, flushing my diary down a toilet...no," He laughed once again, but this time it was full of anger and dread; it made my skin crawl, but he continued, "Now that I have you here, I can finally complete my work," He took a deep breath and swung around to face me once again. Though I couldn't quite follow what he was saying, my mind was in shock. I had so many questions I needed answers to. What exactly was he saying? I couldn't wrap my head around it. My heart started to crack in my chest. I held my hands to my chest in a feeble attempt to try and keep composure, to keep it all in: the tears, sadness, shock, simply everything.
At that point I wasn't even sure if he was talking about truly breaking away from me, but the relationship, the bond, I created with this person, I couldn't simply stop talking to him. He was my friend, the one I told so much to, even more than I've told my own mother. He was there for me, he saw me change, was I supposed to think that it meant nothing to him?
"So all of this," I paused, I wasn't sure if I could get out the right words, "it was all for nothing?" I choked out the last bit.
"Of course not, you played an important part in my plan. But you served your purpose and I thank you for that, but you'll be gone soon enough."
My face twisted in confusion. "Gone? I don't understand," I trailed off on the last bit.
"You want me to be real don't you? Like how you always told me 'Oh Tom, I wish you were real, we'd be best friends. Oh Tom I don't have a chance with Harry, if only you were real, I could see me liking you. Oh Tom...'"
"Stop it!" I yelled. Tears burned the back of my eyes as I felt my heart shatter in my chest, "Why are you bringing that up? That was personal, and you're making it sound childish. I just became really attached to you, I don't want to lose you."
"Silly girl, you cannot lose something you never had."
~0~0~0~0~
"Petrificus Totalus!"
My body froze and I fell on my side onto the damp grass. A sharp pain shot up my spine as I rolled my eyes up saw him. He stared down at me and smirked, it reminded me of the last time I saw him. That smirk would never change. I always heard stories from Harry about how truly terrifying he really was, but I always doubted it.
Harry never knew about my encounter or feelings for the one who tried to kill him, I could never tell him, let alone anyone. I've been so alone throughout the years, who would have known a simple diary would have caused so much pain for one person.
"Ginerva Weasley, I wonder how you've made it this far," His high pitch voice didn't sound anything how I remembered, but I just wanted to listen all the same. "You and your family have faught profusely, but now you're the only one left."
If I could, I would have burst out into tears at that moment. My muscles twitched in agony. I thought I would stop breathing at that moment, anything to end the pain I was feeling. How could someone, who once had such kind words to say, turn out to be like this? I wanted to say something to him but I couldn't even move my mouth to form coherent words.
'Why?'
He raised a pale arm and gripped his wand oh-so delicately while muttering words under his breath. After a few moments I began to feel heavy and my vision grew dark. I did all I possibly could, and I raised my eyes to meet his. But I'll never know if he remembers those words he said to me. Between all those late nights, secrets exchanged, laughter filled conversations, I somehow fell in love with his teenage self. My downfall was failing to decipher lies and life. I didn't fall in love with Voldemort, I fell in love with Tom, a version of him nobody else had known. Maybe him himself hadn't even known.
Words he once spoke that I long forgotten had surfaced just as I lost all consciousness.
"The world is nothing but ugliness painted in beauty and perfection."
It finally clicked in, he wasn't talking about the world, he was talking about himself. But it's too late to save me, I'm gone just as he once promised I'd be. I could have moved on perhaps, but I'll never know now.
A/N
Okay so this was was written for the Fanfiction Idol competition (: I hope you enjoyed, I left the end up to interpretation ;)