Warning: Slash, Nonrelated, Language, Forced Incest, Rape

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

Note: Matt, Damon, and Jeremy are brothers and their last name is Donovan, but Kelly is not their mother. Elena is Jenna Sommers daughter. Stefan is the only Salvatore son. Tyler's last name is still Lockwood. All of them are human; no vampires or werewolves.

~*Chapter One: Stop Staring at Me*~

He's staring at me again.

I slump farther in my seat, hoping to lose myself again in my book, but it's useless. I can still feel his never wavering gaze. Why can't he just leave me alone? For the last two weeks, I've seen him at the library; he always sits four tables away and when he's not reading or doing homework, he's watching me. Stalking is illegal in all fifty states. He knows that, right?

Tightening my grip on my book, I risk glancing up. Maybe he isn't looking anymore. A pair of brown eyes locks with mine. Damn, he's still looking. Quickly I duck my head. Why can't people just leave me alone?

"Hey, Jeremy," a female voice says,

Looking up, I wave to Elena, one of the librarians and the first person who had befriended me when I moved to Mystic Falls, Virginia five years ago.

"Hi, Elena," I say, offering her a brief smile before returning to my novel.

"I see Stalker Guy is here too." She slides into the seat across from me, tucking her legs underneath her before tugging out her scrunchie and fixing her hair.

I sigh and close my book. I'll just check it out and read it later in the comfort of my apartment. No distractions there. "Yep. He's been here for the last two weeks too."

"Maybe he's looking for an opportunity to talk to you."

I roll my eyes. "I don't date." I cut off her protest with a sharp, "You know why."

She nods. "I know that, Jeremy," she lays a comforting hand on my arm, "but don't you think you should at least give him a chance? Maybe he's shy."

"You're such a Jane Bennett." Yes, I've read Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" and actually enjoyed it. Most males wouldn't dare admit to something like that, worried it'd damaged their macho reputation, but I'm comfortable enough with myself to admit my guilty pleasures.

Elena looks at me with mild surprise before smiling. "Jeremy, if you weren't gay you'd be perfect boyfriend material for any girl."

"Gee thanks." She and I share a laugh.

Grabbing my jacket, I gather up my books and make my way towards the checkout line. Elena and Stalker Guy follow. While scanning my books, I glance over at him out of the corner of my eye. His tall and lithe body reminds me of a runner. Straight, black hair, swept to the side, hangs over his eyes and accents his boyish looks. Man! He really is gorgeous. But why would he be interested in someone like me, "the average kid"? At least that's what he used to call me. I squeezed my eyes shut.

He's the whole reason I'm living here.

Though I haven't thought about him in several weeks; why now?

"Jeremy?" Snapping out of my thoughts, I notice Elena eyeing me, her expression concerned. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." With another quick glance behind me, I say my goodbyes and hurry outside. Stalk Guy trails behind me. Elena accompanies me to my car where we wait till Stalker Guy's car pulls out of the parking lot and then she pulls me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Call me if you want to do something tonight. I get off at six."

"Actually, I'm going to spend the evening reading."

"Jeremy," she shakes her head, "I'm worried about you. You don't have any friends, aside from me, and we don't really hang out. I only see you on the days you're here and when you're here you spend your time reading. You need to get out more and socialize. What you're doing isn't healthy."

I dig my keys out of my pocket and unlock my car. "I appreciate your concern, Elena, but seriously. I'm not much for socialization. People and I don't really get along."

"Bull shit!" She crosses her arms. "It's because of…"

"I really need to go," I say, my eyes narrowing. She knows better than to bring him up. Giving up, she nods, leaning forward and kissing my cheek and then waving as I climb into the driver's seat, switch on my engine, and head home.

Once I arrive, I park in my designated spot, shutting off my engine and then jogging up to my apartment. After letting myself inside, I switch on my foyer light and stare at my living room. The carpet's a mud brown and an old lamp hangs from the ceiling right above my green with yellow and white strips couch. Castoffs decorations from garage sales. Nothing that screams, "This is Jeremy Gilbert's place." Nope, the room, hell my whole apartment is average.

Just like me.

With a sigh, I collapse onto my couch and sink down into the cushions. At least they're comfortable. Shooting a quick glance at my clock, I pick up my remote and settle in for an evening of catching up with my favorite TV shows.

The following morning, my alarm goes off at six am. Yawning, I sit up, throw my covers aside, swing my legs over the edge, and stand up, stretching. Quickly showering, I tug on a light pair of jeans and then my favorite black polo shirt and eat a light breakfast. Paying a brief visit to Starbucks and purchasing my preferred Green Tea Frappuccino, I drive over to the library. Ever since I can remember I've been a morning person. Rarely are people up as early as me. However, when I enter the library I'm shocked to see Stalker Guy arrived first. I frown. That's odd. Usually I'm here for a good hour before he shows up.

"Hey, Jeremy," Elena says as she passed me, carrying a stack of books. "You're late."

I roll my eyes and head towards my normal seat. As I get closer, I notice Stalker Guy reading a copy of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice." I bite my lip to keep from laughing. Just then he glances up and spotting me he smiles. I give him a tentative one in return. He nods towards the empty chair beside him and then looks back at me, raising his eyebrows expectantly. I slow my footsteps. Should I? It really can't hurt, right? He's not him.

Swallowing hard, I sit down beside him.

Stalker Guy's eyes are twinkling. "Hi, I'm Tyler Lockwood." He holds out his hand and I shake it.

"Jeremy."

"You got a last name, cutie."

I shoot him a sharp look. "Gilbert and it's Jeremy."

He raises his hands in a defensive gesture. "Sorry, Jeremy."

I nod and stare at my hands, clenching and unclenching in my lap. Why is this so hard? Conversations never used to be this difficult. Before I was actually a very laid back and easy-going person and able to talk to anyone…but that was before him.

"So…uh…"Pride and Prejudice?" Not your normal preferred reading choice." I want to smack myself. Not his normal preferred reading? Yesterday I was complaining about him stalking me and now I'm making it obvious that I've been watching him too? Good job, Jeremy. Could you be any lamer?

Tyler laughs. It's a rich and deep laugh but it's real and not one of those polite chuckles people often give to keep others from feeling embarrassed. "Yes, but I overheard you and your girlfriend talking about it yesterday and I thought I'd check it out."

"Elena's not my girlfriend," I say automatically. Tyler's eyes widen with interest. My chest tightens. It's a similar look to the ones he used to give me.

"Really?"

I shift and grow more uncomfortable, especially when Tyler maneuvers his chair right next to mine so our legs are touching. I swallow hard and try to calm my galloping heart. We're in a public library so Tyler wouldn't dare try something, right? I nearly jump when I feel his hand on my thigh. I would've been fine with that, but when he starts rubbing it, his fingers kneading my skin, I shove away from the table and stand up. Cheeks flaming with embarrassment, I bolt. Behind me I hear Elena calling my name followed by another chair scrapping against the floor and pursuing footsteps. Stumbling outside, I lean up against the wall and clutch my head, gasping as my head clouds with unbidden memories.

He slams me against the wall, our naked bodies pressed against each other and my arms pinned above my head. Moans and groans echo in my ears as he pries apart my legs before thrusting inside, completely dry. My back arches; screams spill from my throat. Repeatedly his hips pump against mine, each thrust growing harder and penetrating deeper.

"Please." I whimper and wince as his nails dig into my skin. "Please stop. It hurts, it hurts!"

"Jeremy!" Tyler's voice breaks through my memories. I squeeze my eyes shut and collapse to the ground. Hesitant footsteps move towards me before I sensed someone crouching in front of me. "Are you all right?" he asks. I'm thankful when he keeps his hands to himself this time. An awkward pause follows when I don't say anything.

"I uh…I just remembered I had…something to do," I say, fabricating a lie.

Tyler sees through it. "Look, Jeremy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. If I made you uncomfortable in any way I didn't mean to." He sighs and drops down next to me, but he makes sure our bodies still aren't touching. Again, I'm grateful. "People tell me I have a tendency to come on too strong. It's one of reasons I don't date much."

"Why have you been following me?" I've been dying to know.

He hangs his head. "There's something intriguing about you. I've been trying to get up the courage to approach you, but until today I couldn't."

I stare at him in disbelief. "Me? There's nothing special about. I'm just me..."

Tyler's head snaps towards me so quickly that I leave my sentence dangling. His eyes are wide and full of anger. Wait, anger? What did he have to be upset about? "Who told you that?" he asks.

I shrug and turn away. "Doesn't matter; it's the truth."

He shakes his head. "No. No, it's not." He grabs my shoulder and turns me so I'm facing him. Stubbornly, I keep my eyes on the ground. "Jeremy, look at me." I refuse, despite the gentleness in his voice. "Hey." He tilts my chin up until I have no other place to look, but his eyes. "You are something special, Jeremy and whoever told you otherwise can't see worth shit."

Despite his abrasive tendencies, there's a sweet quality about Tyler. Rarely are first impressions correct and Tyler doesn't really seem like such a bad guy. Maybe it won't hurt for us to be friends.

"Jeremy?" Tyler's voice startles me. Turning to face him, I find him fiddling with his shirt hem, chewing on his bottom lip and toeing the ground. I frown. What happened to his abrasiveness? "We really got off on the wrong foot back there." Understatement! Taking a deep breath, he continues, "Can we start over?"

I stare at him not completely sure if I should believe him. Sure he seems sincere, but should I really trust a guy who just now decides to talk to me after following me around for two weeks?

"Maybe he's looking for an opportunity to talk to you." Elena's words flash unbidden through my memory. Although she made a valid point, do I really want to get involved? He could be an ex-murderer or even a molester. Wincing, I can almost hear Elena's laughter at my paranoid thoughts. He was right. I am pathetic. Glancing back towards Tyler, I hold out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Jeremy Gilbert."

He heaves a sigh of relief. "Tyler," he says and shakes my hand, but doesn't release it quite yet. Glancing down, I notice how soft his skin is. My eyes widen and I snatch my hand away, stumbling backwards, my cheeks flushing. Hurt lingers in Tyler's eyes. I swallow hard and try to think of something to ease the sudden tension between us, but he beats me to it. "So what's your favorite sport?"

Ah not only familiar and safe territory, but a topic I can handle. "Golf," I say, "but not a lot of people appreciate it. You ever played?"

He shakes his head. "I never had the patience for it."

"It's a great stress reliever and builds endurance." The corner of my mouth curls up in a half smile. I used to think like that too.

"Well maybe you can give me some tips sometime," he says, his eyes teasing.

"Sure." I didn't see a problem with that. "I can do that."

"Great. How's tomorrow sound?"

Shit! I should've seen this coming. It was so obvious that even a blind person would've seen it! Well, golfing greens were fairly public places and the teeing grounds were almost always full, so I doubt he'll have the opportunity to try anything. I can always ask Elena to come along too. But…I sigh. Jeremy, you've been down this road before…twice. You know how it ends. Save yourself from the unnamable pain and stay away!

"Sounds great," I find myself saying and flinch. Why am I such a glutton for punishment?

I lean up against the library wall and glance at my watch for the third time in the last minute. Elena told me she gets off work at 6 o'clock and it's five after six now. I cross my arms, my foot tapping as my patience wanes.

"Whoa! Someone's not in a good mood," Elena says as she exits the library sliding doors. "What? Did Tyler try something?"

"You got any plans right now?" I ask, purposefully avoiding her question. Yes, he tried something, tried and succeeded.

She eyes me, worried. "Jeremy? What's wrong? You're scaring me."

"Tyleraskedmeout," I say quickly and then add, "Coffee?" before grimacing. He loved coffee.

"Wait, what now?" Her eyes narrow as she works out what I just mumbled in her head. I know she's figured it out when she screams, "Are you serious?"

Wincing, I rub my ears, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment as several people passing us turn and stare. Elena, ignoring them, bounds over to me and tugs me in a tight hug.

"Can't breathe…need air…let go…"

Immediately she releases me. "Jeremy, this is fantastic. Please tell me you said yes?" I turn away and take a few steps away, my hands buried in my pockets. "Jeremy?" Her voice is hesitant as she approaches and touches my shoulder. "You did, didn't you?" I sigh and hang my head. She gasps. "You didn't?"

"No, I mean yes…I said I would go!"

Her smile returns, wider this time. "So what's the problem?" Was she really asking me that? "Okay, okay. I get why you're hesitant, but, Jeremy you can't keep walking around with that skeleton in your closet. You're eventually going to have to let it out in order to heal."

"Don't you think I know that?" I say, my voice increasing in volume as I throw my hands up in the air. "I know," my voice softens, "but the scars are still there."

"You're friends with me." She gives my shoulder a brief squeeze.

"You're a girl." Then glancing up and seeing our audience, I lower my voice to a whisper. Elena needs to lean forward just to hear me. "It's guys I have issues with."

She pulls me into a friendly hug. "Jeremy, at least give Tyler a chance. Besides," she steps back and chuckles, "you already said yes. Please just try it. For me?" She blinks at me flirtatiously.

I shake my head with a laugh. "You know that won't work on me, hon."

"Fine." She sighs, crossing her arms and pouting. I start laughing even harder. Do girls really think guys are stupid enough to fall for this trick? When I calm down enough to answer I say I will try, which satisfies her. "Besides, if he tries anything, I'll kick his ass. So," she flips her hand over her shoulder and smiles at me, "do you still want to go to Starbucks or was that supposed to be a distraction?"

I offer her my arm. "Shall we?" Linking her arm through mine, we head towards the nearest Starbucks two blocks away.

Later that night while lying in my bed and watching the clock numbers shift, I keep thinking about Tyler asking me out. Although Elena was convinced I made the right choice by accepting, had I really? Sighing, I switch on my lamplight and throw my covers off. In for another sleepless night, I pull on my robe before heading towards the kitchen. I've heard people say warm milk helps, but that never worked for me. Instead, I fix myself a plate of scrambled eggs and then sit on my couch, staring at the blank TV screen, my thoughts drifting.

Although I started out as a normal kid, my simple life changed after the night of my sixteenth birthday. After our family dinner, I laid around on the couch while Mom and Dad went out for coffee with an old college friend visiting from out of town. Damon had already left to meet up with some girl he was trying to impress and I didn't know where Matt was.

Twenty minutes later Matt returned and asked if I wanted to hang out. Of all my brothers, he was my favorite and I'd drop anything if it meant spending time with him. Even as children we banded together and played pranks on Damon. When I had exciting news, I went to Matt. When I realized I was gay, I went to Matt. When I was angry or needed advice, I went to Matt. I went to him for everything.

Matt said he needed to get something from the kitchen and he'd join me shortly. Nodding, I went upstairs and headed towards his room. Tiredly, I stumbled down the hall. However, before I reached my big brother's room, a hand wrapped around my waist while the other closed over my mouth. Eyes widening, I struggled against my capturer. I did manage to free my mouth by biting my assailant's palm. He cursed and withdrew his hand I sucked in air to call out for Matt. Yet, that's when I felt someone grab my hair and bash my head against the wall; the force knocked me out.

I came to lying on my back on my bed, my arms handcuffed above my head while my legs were spread and tied to each of my bed posts; I was completely naked. Again, I tried to scream for help. A gag muffled my cries. A figure stood by the foot of my bed.

"Don't bother struggling," the figure told me, his voice familiar and male. I whimpered. Feeling the mattress sag, I tensed as I felt him crawling towards me and then straddling my hips; he was naked too! My struggled intensified. "Jeremy, Jeremy," he said and I could almost picture him shaking his head. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this?" Slowly he ran his hands over my chest, twisting and tweaking my nipples. I cried out, tears filling my eyes and spilling over. Why was he doing this? Who was he? What did he want? "Aw, don't cry." Tenderly, he stroked my cheek and wiped away my tears. "I'm going to make you feel so good." He shifted slightly and I could feel him near my entrance. I squeezed my eyes shut. "And don't worry about Damon. I told him I'd missed you and he agreed to stay out tonight." Without another word he thrusted inside of me. I arched up, screams tearing from my throat, my body shaking as he mercilessly pounded into me.

"Jeremy, oh Jeremy, you're so tight, ah so good," he whispered, panting next to my ear, his lips sucking and biting my neck. I lay there helpless as my brother, Matt, raped me.

Matt, my older brother, my protector, my best friend.

A shrill ringing breaks through my memories. I bolt upright, sweat and tears rolling down my cheeks. Breathing hard, I press my hand over my heart and feel the pulsing of my galloping heart against my fingers. Momentarily disoriented, I glance around. I don't even remember falling asleep. I jump when a loud beat erupts through my otherwise silent apartment.

"Hey, Jeremy, it's Tyler. I just wanted to make sure we're still on for today."

Tyler! Stumbling over my feet, I fumble for the phone. "Hello? Hello?" I say, my voice cracking. I wince and hope he thinks the crack was from me still being asleep and not because I'd been crying.

"Hey, Jeremy," Tyler says and I can sense his smile. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

I glance over at my wall clock and groan. 10:30. How did I manage to oversleep even after years of training myself to wake up at 6:30? "No," I rub my face and yawn, "well actually yes, but I overslept so it's all right."

He pauses for a second. "Jeremy, are you all right? You sound like you've been crying."

I bite my lip. Did it really show that much? I swallow and clear my throat. "I just woke up so that's why my throat's scratchy."

"Okay," he says, but his voice sounds different like he doesn't believe me. "Are we still on for this afternoon?"

"Sure, I guess." He laughs and goes off about how he's looking forward to learning from Golf Master Jeremy. I find myself smiling at his nickname; my night terrors slowly recede into the shadows of my mind.

"All right, I just wanted to check. So I'll see you around one, at the main entrance," he says.

"I'll be there," I say and then hang up the phone.

Replacing the phone in its cradle, I make my way to my bathroom. I switch on the light and immediately throw my hand over my eyes, the brightness hurting my eyes. When they adjust, I turn on the faucet and wet the wash cloth before washing my face. Afterwards I stare at myself in the mirror. Damn! I look horrible. Although I've always been pale, my skin has become almost a sickly pale color. My signature, thick mop of hair lies limp on my head. But, it's really my eyes that scare me the most. They're so dull, lifeless. Hoping to revive myself some, I switch on the shower, but even the hot spray beating against my skin does nothing; I still feel the shadow of yesterday hanging over me, its cold and unrelenting fingers slowly strangling me. I crumple to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and pressing them against my chest.

Matt, what have you done to me?