Kachikara and Raurenu's Wacky Gundam X-Mas Album!

by Reliak

What the title says. For all Gundam fans, though it may lean a little towards Relena-bashing...but this isn't chock-full of yaoi, in fact, there's only one little bit of 1x2, and there's some 4xD, so that's okay! Read and definately REVIEW!

~
I don't own Gundam Wing, neither does Raurenu.
Raurenu wrote most of the songs, and I wrote the dialogue, so it's even. Okay, domo arigatou! On with the music!
~

Kachikara and Raurenu's Wacky Gundam Christmas Album

Une: ::clears throat:: Since the Preventers are low on cash, we have decided to hold a fundraiser. Presenting, the Colonies' Christmas SPECTACULAR! ::curtains behind her separate, revealing Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Zechs, Noin, Hilde, Relena, Catherine, Dorothy, Sally, and Treize's ghost. Une rushes to join them, and they begin::

On the first day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
A perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the second day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the third day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Seven masked soldiers
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Eight queens a-stalking
Seven masked soldiers
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Nine suits a-killing
Eight queens a-stalking
Seven masked soldiers
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the tenth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Ten Treizes dying
Nine suits a-killing
Eight queens a-stalking
Seven masked soldiers
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Eleven mobile dolls
Ten Treizes dying
Nine suits a-killing
Eight queens a-stalking
Seven masked soldiers
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my koi gave to me:
Twelve Ozzies screaming!
Eleven mobile dolls
Ten Treizes dying
Nine suits a-killing
Eight queens a-stalking
Seven masked soldiers
Six little dragons
Five crazy doctors!
Four blond Arabs
Three mute clowns
Two braided freaks
And a perfect soldier in a Gundam!

::music ends::

Relena: ::rereads words:: Hey! "Queens a-stalking"? You said this was for all GW fans, including fans of ME!
Raurenu: ::from author space:: Oops.
Kachikara: Um...gomen?
Relena: For this, I get to kiss Heero sometime!
Heero: ::sweatdrop::
Kachikara: All GW fans includes anti-HY/RP, too.
Raurenu: ::whisper:: We'll have a nice 1x2 to end, 'kay?
Hilde: No!
Dorothy: To balance it, you'll also have a 4xD, right?
Kachikara and Raurenu: ::sigh:: Sure
Relena: ::glares at Dorothy:: Fine...but next year, it's 1xR!
Une: Anou...back to the songs! Our next song is a lively piece, sung by Zechs, Noin, Treize, and myself...::four people (or three people and ghost) step forward as music plays::

Dashing through the woods, in our one-man mobile suits
The Gundams right behind us, what are we to do?
Altron's on our left, Sandrock's on our right
Wing and Heavyarms at our flanks
And, oh no! there's Deathscythe!

Beam cannons, beam cannons! Exploding all around!
Oh what fun to have the Gundam pilots chase us down!
Death god's scythe! Run all night! Oh damn, there's Shenlong!
Isn't having the Gundam pilots chase us around fun!

::music ends::

G-Boys: ::grin::
Treize: Shut up, I'll get you five for that!
Wufei: You are so weak you could not have beaten me even if I had let you win!
Une: May we continue, please?
Wufei: Silence, woman.
Une: ::glare:: The Gundam Boys, Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei, will be singing this next song, even though Duo does not work for this company...
Duo: What do you mean, I don't work for this...::Une waves pink slip:: You didn't!
Une: Sing, and I may give you your job back...::our favorite little soldiers step forward::

Silent night! Violent night!
Oz is dead! The fire is bright
Watch it blow out of my beam cannon
Tonight I'll party with all of my friends
Sleep in heavenly peace, you suckers!
Sleep in heavenly peace!

Silent night! Violent night!
Colonists wake at the sight
Libra shatters to thousands of bits
People cheer our bra~aveness
Sleep in heavenly pieces!
Sleep in heavenly peace!

Silent night! Violent night!
Wing ZERO's beam cannon bright
Saved the day in space and earth
Happiness flows across the world
Sleep in heavenly peace, minna!
The Gundam pilots are here!

::music ends::

Zechs: ::checks lyrics:: Hey, you made those last two verses up!
Heero: ::evil grin::
Quatre: Gomen nasai
Une: ::sweatdrops:: Well, I'll consider giving Duo his job back. For now, we have a nice, soothing song for...ZECHS MERQUISE!
Zechs: Is this in the script? ::checks script::
Une: No it isn't, Zechs ::smiles sweetly:: Get out there anyway and make something up.
Zechs: Okay...::steps forward::

Oh mobile suit! Oh mobile suit!
How lovely is your cannon!
Oh mobile suit! Oh mobile suit!
How lovely is your cannon!
I use it more than once a day!
I've blown up more, than care to say
Oh mobile suit, oh mobile suit
How lovely is your cannon!

::music ends::

Une: Ah, interesting, Zechs
Zechs: ::bows::
Une: Now, for a really cute one, to "Deck the Halls" we have five solos...

Deck the halls with lots of Leos!
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Some for you and some for me-os!
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Q: Don we now our pink apparel
Duo: Let's see how long we can grow our hair!
Tro: Wear a clown suit
Hee: or some Spandex
Wu: Take a katana with you everywhere!

Kachikara: Now for the two romances before we end.
Raurenu: ::sigh:: First, Dorothy and Quatre. People who don't like it, scroll down.
Une: Presenting, Preventers Kowai and Kawaii!
Duo: Hey, that could be a show!
Une: Duo...::waves pink slip:: ::Dorothy and Quatre step forward::

D: I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!
Q: Just like the ones from L4
D: May the days be merry and bright ::puts arm on Quatre's shoulder::
Q: And may all your Christmases (or any other holidays) be white!
D: I'm dreaming of a white Christmas!
Q: When my koi will be here ::wraps arm around Dorothy's waist::
D: May all the wars pause but not stop
Q: I want a white Christmas with all my heart! ::Dorothy and Quatre kiss::

::music ends::

Audience: Awww!
Quatre: Anou...Ms. Une?
Une: Yes?
Quatre: You do know I'm Muslim, right?
Une: You are?
Quatre: ::sigh::
Dorothy: But, Quatre, didn't you enjoy that song?
Quatre: Yes I did.
Une: Anyway, now for our shounen ai romance, so scroll down if you don't want to read it! Heero and Duo, come forward! ::our favorite pair of brunettes steps to microphones::

D: Gun safeties click, are you listening? At the base, the ocean's glistening!
H: A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, fighting in a neverending war.
D: Gone away, are the Ozzies. Here to stay, is the White Fang
H: They try to kill the Earth, the place of our birth, so we're fightin' in a neverending war.
D: At the base, we can build a Gundam. And pretend that Relena's gone.
H: We'll have fun with our great fantasies. Until Wufei will walk in on us!
D: Later on, we'll retire, and snuggle by the fire! ::puts arm around Heero::
H: To face unafraid, the mission next day, fighting in a neverending war.
D: At the base, we can build a Gundam. And pretend that Relena's gone.
H: We'll have fun kissing under our Gundam ::pulls Duo closer::. Until Quatre will walk in on us!
D: Later on, we'll retire, and snuggle by the fire!
H: To face unafraid, the mission next day...
D&H: Fighting in a neverending war! ::they kiss::

::music ends::

Kachikara: That's the best one so far!
Raurenu: Yeah, only because you wrote it and I won't even find out about it until I see it on FF.N!
Kachikara: Gomen
Dorothy: Hey, their song was longer than ours!
Kachikara: That's because I know all the original lyrics.
Une: Well, domo arigatou minna-san, and now it's time for our grand finale! ::Duo and Heero don't move:: I said EVERYONE.
Dorothy: Well, since they're busy ::kisses Quatre::
Noin: Not you, too!
Une: ::sigh:: Leave them alone, they'll snap out of it later. Now, for our Grand Finale!

Joy to the world! The war is done! Let the colonies be free!
Let all of space rejoice the death of Treize!
Let space and earth sing! Let space and earth sing!
Let space and space and earth sing!

Duo: Merry Christmas! ::sidles up to Une:: You know what a good Christmas present would be?
Une: You can have your job back, Maxwell.
Duo: Yay!
Heero: Get back here, I wasn't done!
Duo: ::grin:: Sure thing, Hee-chan!
Une: Um...everyone all together now...

We wish you a Gundam Christmas, we wish you a Gundam Christmas
We wish you a Gundam Christmas and a happy Endless Waltz!

All: Merry Christmas, Minna-san!
Raurenu: Happy New Year!
Kachikara: Meri-Kurisumasu yo!
Raurenu: Huh?
Kachikara: ::pats Raurenu on the head:: You'll learn Japanese someday.
All (including Authoresses): Meri-Kurisumasu!

*~Owari~*