The Toilet-Tubbies & The Magic Chocolate
Mog Anarchy
A/N: As you probably can tell by the title - this contains an overabundance of toilet humour! What can I say… I have a warped and easily amused mind!
(BTW, An Anti-Teletubbies fan fiction!) (Don't read this if you don't like toilet-humour! I'm really serious!)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teletubbies! The Toilet-Tubbies were a parody created by ME - Mog Anarchy! Yay!
- Dixie Stonehall
One
One day in the stagnant brown swamp of Toilet-Tubby-Land, Stinky-Winky had just finished reading his 'Tubby-Daily' newspaper (which was all written like a four-year old, as all four of the Toilet-Tubbies had a very low I.Q, and didn't even know that Rabbits were not to be used as toilet roll…) and he had just taken the last bite from his Toilet-Tubbies custard on toast (which was basically baked beans with purple food colouring in it on a piece of mouldy bread) and he was now getting up to take a big shit.
But he couldn't today. Dumpsy was stuck in there with constipation, and he wasn't moving now; he'd been sat in there for the past two hours, drawing crude caricatures on the toilet roll.
"Get the hell outta there!" Stinky-Winky screamed, pounding the living hell out of the door wildly. "I gotta take a big shit! An' if you don't get outta there, YOU can be the one to clean the skid-marks outta my wonderful purple suit!"
"Get lost, crapbag! I ain't moving my wonderfully seated ass now, I've only just got comfy!" Dumpsy replied. Stinky-Winky then went to say something back, but he was drowned out by Dumpsy's violent sounds of excursion and loud screams of pain.
Stinky-Winky turned slowly and shuffled along to the other bathroom. It was locked, and a notice in red writing was pinned to the door. It read "Out of order - clogged with crap - be fixed soon - The Poo-Poo."
Stinky-Winky screamed with pain and shuffled back along to the bathroom that was being used by Dumpsy.
"Get your clogged ass offa that toilet! I really gotta take a shit!" He screamed through the keyhole. But Dumpsy just smiled to himself, and began singing 'My Heart Will Go On.'
Stinky-Winky held his stomach tightly, in an attempt to weaken the pain. This was a big mistake - it loosened his bowels instead…
Stinky-Winky screamed with terror and ran to the front door of their crappy little shack, clutching his backside tightly with his chubby hands. He dashed behind the shack, towards the wooden outhouse. As soon as he opened the door, caught a glimpse and a whiff of what was actually in there - he didn't need telling twice that he wouldn't be using it.
He roared with rage, slammed the door shut, and ran. He was now, very literally 'touching cloth'. His bug-eyes bulged with fright, and he dashed across the creaky wooden bridge, reached the first bush and he smiled with relief.
Five minutes later, Stinky-Winky skipped happily back to the shack. His two sisters Blah-Blah and Poo were sat around the table reading a high-fibre cookbook - both wondering what they could make Dumpsy to make him and his tummy feel better.
"Hi you two."
"Hi Stinky."
The Toilet-Tubbies all lived together, four siblings in a cardboard shack in the middle of a sewage-filled swamp that was infested with mutant rabbits. Stinky-Winky was the oldest, he was very tall - so tall that he had to bob his head when he used the bathroom; or he'd hit his head on the ceiling. He was the one who the others looked up to the most; he also always won the contest to see who could fart the best. Dumpsy was the second oldest, lime green and slightly shorter than Stinky-Winky. The two sisters were Blah-Blah and Poo. - Poo being the youngest, and the cutest. She was also so small - she was the one who always had to crawl into the sewage duct and unblock the toilet.
They had all helped to assemble a blue robot Vacuum-like monster, who they named the Poo-Poo. It enjoyed eating waste the best, and it's favourite pastime was licking the toilet bowl - it helped to clean it, and it kept him quiet for a while.
The two sisters then suddenly jumped up; both of them talking very fast about their plans. Then they both ran out of the door, taking Stinky-Winky's red handbag.
"Oi! I need that! They won't let me into that club… You gotta look bent, if you want 'em to let you in!"
But they'd already gone, along with his money. Stinky-Winky swore furiously, kicking the table with rage. Then he gave up, and picked up his headphones from the sideboard. He was going to listen to his favourite singer - Hilary Guff; who sang along to her songs with her backside as well as her mouth!