The snow fell softly as I looked solemnly out the window.
I'll still never be able to make out why I felt like that, after all, it was my first time I've ever seen something like that.
Maybe it was because it was the first time I've ever left home before.
But maybe it was the news that my mother and my father died, and I wasn't there to protect them.
A tear fell through my emotionless eyes, why wasn't I able to help her?
Why did it have to happen - right before Christmas?
"Ryan... I mean, Cry, are you okay?"
I looked behind me, "Y-Yes, I'm fine, Mrs. Kjellberg."
"Sweetie, I told you already you didn't have to call me that anymore," She walked nearby where I was sitting at, in the window seal, "And if it means anything to you, I can tell you're not really that okay."
Her blue eyes and feathery blonde hair looked exactly like her son's. Though, her eyes were a tiny bit darker, which was hard to tell unless you looked right in them.
I still think that those two look similar, even today.
Looking up at her, I realized that my eyes were still puffy.
I didn't - and still don't - ever like crying. My father always said that was a sign of weakness in a young child, and he yelled at me for doing so.
She hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Is it because of your parents?"
I felt another tear coming, I bit my cheek before it would fall down though, "Yes,"
Mrs. Kjellberg sat down next to me, putting a hand through my hair and gently smiling.
She was always so kind and nice to me, even though I only knew her for a year or two.
"I wasn't there to help her," I said quietly, looking down at my feet.
"But Cry, it wasn't your fault," I looked up at her and saw her shaking her head, "You couldn't have. You were here, with us. And that was not your fault."
"Remember? Your mom made you come over here - in Sweden - for Christmas and New Years with us. She said that she thought it would be the best decision for your happiness," She smiled gently.
"I-I know, but I still don't understand why they did it," I said.
She sighed, "You might not understand it now, Cry, but you will," She shook her head, "Soon enough, soon enough."
Her daughter soon yelled for her help, saying that it was an urgent matter. She got up and smiled at me once again, saying that if I wanted to, I could play out in the snow later.
Though, I can't remember what exactly her daughter's problem was.
I think it was someone getting into her makeup.
Sighing, I got up and dusted off the jeans I was wearing. The window seal was kind of dusty there.
"Cry!" Someone yelled, making me look over my shoulder.
Felix was smiling, and running towards me. His blue eyes sparkling with excitement and adrenaline.
"What got you all excited, friend?" I smiled and laughed as he came panting when he stopped running.
"Shh. Let's go outside for a little while, 'kay?" He smiled evilly and grabbed my hand.
"I-In the snow? Isn't it cold?!" I said with a hint of panic and excitement in my voice.
Felix smiled and laughed, "I hope so. Get the coat, gloves, scarf, hat, and boots we got you for your stay here."
"Okay, why?" I said, grabbing the things by the old wooden door and slowly putting them on me.
It was hot with all that clothing on...
"Stop asking questions already, Cry," He smiled while putting on the blue boots he had, "Don't worry about it."
I blushed at the little motto he gave me, "F-Fine..."
Once we got all of the snow gear on, he grabbed my hand and led me outside.
Snow was really such a beautiful sight, y'know?
We looked somewhat like matching twins. With Felix's outfit all blue and mine all green...
Such a unique thing to see...
Well, I thought so at least.
"Don't you think Sweden is nice?" Felix said after a few minutes of walking.
"Yeah," I said, "I've never seen snow before this, so it is really pretty..."
He stopped walking for a second, "What!?"
I laughed at his expression for a second, it was of pure shock, "Yep!"
"God, Cry..." He sighed, "We're both ten here, right? That's ten years of you never seeing something as simple as snow!"
"You must not know what Florida is..." An idea popped into my head right then.
"I guess so..." He smiled.
I smiled back, more evilly this time, "Do you know what a hurricane is, Felix?"
"What?" He looked surprised.
"Nevermind, but just know that we're even now!" I laughed and walked a little bit ahead of him, even though I had no idea where I was heading too.
"...Well okay then," He said, running back up to me and bumping into my shoulder.
Which, for some reason, made both of us blush.
"Can I ask, now, why you made me tag along with you?" I say, sighing.
He smiled, "I messed up my sister's makeup, and I decided that I didn't want to get in trouble," He looked at me, "Also, I didn't want to be lonely."
I smiled softly and put a hand on top of his hat.
We both laughed for a moment.
After a little while, Felix found a diner nearby and said he was hungry.
That shouldn't have been very surprising though... He's always hungry.
Yet, he's so skinny though.
He grabbed my hand again and led me into the place.
It was old fashioned, of course, but surprisingly modern. A little fountain in the back and had fake sunflowers and vines by it.
I was sad to see it go.
"What do you want, Cry?" Felix said, pointing at the menu.
I looked at it, dumbstrucked.
He looked at me for a moment with surprise. His blue eyes filled with worry as he leaned down to look at me.
"Are you okay?" He said, his voice filled with worry.
I looked up at him, "Yeah... I just can't read Swedish..."
He laughed for a second, "Okay then. I'll just get you something I know that you'll like."
I remember picturing all the gross things he could have given me; octopus, liver, fish, spinach, bananas!
For some reason, I'd never liked bananas as a child... Oh, well.
Felix said something in Swedish, confusing me.
[Two milkshakes, please. One with nutella, the other with chocolate fudge.]
The cashier said something else in Swedish, which I still cannot remember today. Felix handed the woman some money and smiled.
"Now, we just wait a moment to get our food!" Felix said, laughing.
"...Promise me you didn't get anything gross, okay?" I said, glaring at him.
He laughed, "Maybe I did or maybe I didn't! You'll just have to wait and see, 'kay?"
I pouted, "Okay, but if I don't like whatever you got me then I'm going to eat yours."
This time, it was his turn to pout, "That's not fair!"
Laughing, "Well, it's what you deserve if you did play that card."
In a few moments, the waitress called Felix's name and he got up and brought over the apparent milkshakes. It looked as if those milkshakes were too big, his hands too small, and all of it cold as ice.
I almost felt bad for him.
Okay, okay I did feel bad for him as I offered to carry one to the tables.
He plopped down the thick, heavy drinks onto the counter and told me to take a seat. I obliged and decided to take the seat right across from him.
"So, Cry! This one," He pointed to the one on the left, "Is chocolate fudge."
"And this one," I half asked, half explained, "Is nutella, right?"
Felix smiled and giggled, "Yeah! You're pretty smart sometimes."
I fake-glared at him, "Only sometimes? You jerk."
He sighed, "Okay, maybe more than I am most of the time."
"Anyways, which one would you like? The chocolate or the nutel-"
"Nutella," I interrupted almost immediately.
He blinked a few times when I interrupted him.
I grabbed the one on the left and smiled, "What's wrong?"
"I... I just... Woah, Cry! You must really like nutella, I'm guessing!" He laughed at his own joke.
"Like might be an understatement," I say, grabbing a straw he picked up and putting it in the thick liquid combination.
I swear I heard Felix take a deep breath and so I looked at him funny.
"I'm just so realized that you didn't take the chocolate fudge one," He wiped a sweat off of his forehead.
It was my turn to blink.
"Geez, you're so weird, Felix," I shook my head and tasted the deliciousness of what my milkshake had to offer. God, I promise anyone that it was so good that it was borderline heavenly.
"Well, aren't you one to talk, the one who calls himself Cry," He smiled, tilting his head a little to the left and laughed.
Once Felix and I had finished our drinks, he thanked the waitress in Swedish and grabbed my hand with some hesitation. I looked at his face, feeling blood rushing up into my own.
Just two blushing young kids, nothing to worry about, folks.
After a second, he intertwined our gloved fingers together making my face turn more red, which was close to impossible at that time.
He pulled me along with him out of the dinner and back onto the cold, wintry street. We walked for a few minutes before saying anything, me just strolling along beside him with a tomato face and not being able to think about anything besides my hands.
It felt like a while before any of us broke the silence.
Surprisingly, it was myself who did so.
"H-Hey, uhm... Felix, where a-are you taking me?" Not being able to control my voice, half from nervousness, half from how cold it was.
"Somewhere, just be patient," He said without even back looking at me.
A few more minutes, it turned out he took me to a field.
Like those huge ones for soccer they have back in America.
Don't they call it football here? That's a little dumb. Eh, I guess it's as dumb as the word soccer is for them.
The blush faded from my face a few minutes before Felix led me here. Maybe I just got used to that strange sensation or maybe my hand just turned numb, don't ask me. I was just a poor, confused child.
Felix let go of my hand and went down and grab a clump of snow.
Before I realized what he was doing, he threw it and it landed on my face.
"What the heck, Felix!?" I yelled, wiping off the excess snow.
"You seemed out of it. I decided that would be the best way to get out of it," He said, sticking his tongue playfully at me.
My face burned with cold as I glared at him.
I soon put my hands on the ground, grabbed a little bit of snow and threw it at his face.
Honestly, I didn't know how to throw a snowball at the time. I just decided to copy what Felix had done and what I had seen in all those old Christmas movies. Not that I would ever tell him that, he'd totally make fun of me for it.
He wiped it off his face, blinked a few times, and then started laughing, "Ah! There we go! That's what I like to see!"
We both soon started to grab snow and throw it at each other.
It had seemed hours later and the sky had started turning darker when we finally finished. Both of us were breathless and laughing.
Felix smiled and laughed harder, putting his hand on my shoulder.
We both tried to stop and catch our breath but it ended up not working. It just made us laugh harder.
Well, that was until Felix fell down on top of me.
Time had stopped, both of us just stared at each other. I don't think either one of realized what was going on.
Felix was on top of me, I knew that much. He moved up until he had his hands on just above my shoulders and his legs were spread apart.
I didn't think about it then but it kind of looked like we were in one of those really romantic animes where all that crap happened. If we were in anime, I'm pretty sure all the fangirls would've flipped out. I mentally sigh at myself for that thought.
I, on the other hand, was still as could be. More than likely looking like a stick, somewhat. When I ended up figuring out what was going on, my face turned a light shade of pink and I tried to laugh it off. It didn't work well.
For some reason, I expected for Felix to say something weird, laugh off the awkwardness, and then get off of me.
However, the exact opposite had happen. Felix's face turned a light hue of pink. His face began edging closer and closer to mine until I could feel his breath on my face.
We both closed our eyes and then I felt his lips on mine.
It was a small, childish kiss. But it was my first and his first. It was special to us.
It meant something to me and him. It was the first time I had ever felt something as lighthearted as this.
A few seconds later, he broke it and we both opened up his eyes.
Felix sat up until he was sitting on my lap, it was then when I noticed that his cheeks were a bit more of a pink then earlier.
"C-Cry," He started, more hesitance to his voice than I would've ever expected to hear out of him, "I... I don't know why but it's just whenever I'm around you... I feel the most happiness I've ever felt. It feels as if my heart going to burst of whatever this emotion is called and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to be your friend or whatever you want. I just want to be around you."
I didn't say anything for a moment.
Felix chuckled a little and rested his head on my chest, "I'm sorry, I sound a little weird, don't I? Don't worry about it, Cry. It's just how I am, I guess."
"U-Uhm... Felix? I-I... I'm so glad I met you. You've been t-the nicest person to me. I, uhm, I really think the same way. I just, ah, I don't know how to explain it," I end up saying, stuttering and blushing at my own words.
I took a deep breath, "Ever since my parents died a month ago, I didn't even remember how to feel anything. I-I just didn't know what to do without them. But... B-But today is the first time I've ever felt so happy. My chest aches when I'm without you and it's so fluttery with you. I... I don't know why, you just make me feel... You make me feel so... Happy. I just want to be with you all the time. Kind of weird, huh?"
I laughed softly, and felt my face flush a little more. I don't really know know if it was the cold or just Felix.
He looks up at me and smiles softly, "I really like you, Cry."
I smile at him and sit up, "I-I really like you too, Felix."
He embraced me and I hugged him back. I felt nothing else but complete happiness as we sat there in the snow, just stealing each other's warmth and our hearts.