Sam had finally done it. Rebecca Howe was finally at his apartment, dressed in a slinky negligee. He didn't even need to ply her with alcohol either. Being a recovering alcoholic, he didn't exactly keep his refrigerator stocked for moments liked this. It had all started off as a normal day.
"Norm!" Called the regulars of the bar. Even non-regulars of the bar seemed to know his name. There wasn't a single person there who didn't like the overweight regular. Even Carla took to him very well despite her caustic remarks. If anyone else were to put him down they would have to answer to her.
"What's up, Mr. Peterson?" Woody asked innocently. Woody was a sweet natured young man from Hanover, Indiana whose naivety made for some very interesting jokes. He didn't always know what was going on around him, but he could always be counted on to tell the truth.
"Hopefully my blood alcohol level. Give me a cold one." Norm said as he took his seat in his regular spot. There was something comforting knowing that that stool was waiting for him time and time again.
"Hello Norman." Frasier spoke up. "Cliff was just enlightening us on the history of the zucchini."
"That's right. It traces back to Biblical times. During his travels, Zachariah came across the vegetable and developed a taste for it. He told all of his friends about it. He wouldn't stop talking about it. He went on and on about it until his friends finally grew tired of hearing about it and named the vegetables after him. Can you imagine lecturing your friends like that?"
"Imagine that, smarty pants." Carla glared at Cliff as she gathered some dirty glasses. Cliff didn't seem bothered as he was accustomed to Carla's sarcasm.
"I don't know who you're referring to, Carla, I simply regale my friends with facts that might come in handy at parties or with their loved ones or here at the bar. I haven't heard any complaints."
"And I'm the Queen of Sheba."
"Now, now Carla, he brings up a valid point." Sam spoke up. " We might use some of his facts one of these days."
Everyone except for Cliff looked at Sam and burst out in laughter.
"Speaking of vegetables, did you know the turnip was so named because they would turn up in the oddest places?" Cliff went on.
More laughter.
"Yeah, like your brain." Carla shot off.
"Cliff, do you ever feel the need to talk to someone? I mean professionally?" Frasier queried
"Eh, we postal workers are made of solid stock. We don't believe in that psychiatric hocus pocus and what have you. No offense, Frasier. But we believe in working things out in our daily walks."
"Exercise can be therapeutic." Frasier nodded. "But still, sometimes it wouldn't hurt to have an outsider's opinion, to freshen the brain if you will."
"Are you offering your services Dr. Crane?" Woody asked as he wiped out a glass.
"Good heavens no. I'd pass him off to a colleague like a hot potato."
And so the bantering continued.
"Sam, may I see you in my office?" Rebecca called out before she shut the door.
"Oooh." The gang teased Sam, who grinned and gave the thumbs up sign as he made his way to the door.
"Sammy's getting lucky." Carla laughed.
"How's that? Is he getting a raise? Lucky dog." Woody complained as everyone shook their heads.
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"What's up Becky? Have you decided that you're tired of missing out on the Malone magic?" He grinned as he leaned into her.
"Please Sam, you're making this difficult."
"What is it, sweetheart? You know I'm here to help you."
Rebecca just looked at him for a few minutes.
"Yes, Sam. I will."
"You will, what."
"I will be with you." She closed her eyes.
He grinned. "I knew it! This is terrific. What is this, some kind of trick? You were dead set against it. What made you change your mind."
"This is really embarrassing, but it's been awhile for me. I've been in a slump lately, and I thought you could help me get over it. So will you help me or not"
"Be glad to. Your place or mine?"
"How about your place? I'm in the middle of renovations."
"All right. I'll see you after work. All right." Sam smiled his mega-watt smile once again, and nearly tripped as he made his way out the door.
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They began to kiss, when Sam pulled back.
"This isn't right. I need to put some music on. Hold on a second."
On the way back, he lit some candles. It was a classic move for him. It never failed to put the ladies in the mood.
They began to kiss again.
"Oh, sweetheart, you don't know how long I've been waiting for this." He murmured.
"Me too."
"Really?" He asked in between kisses. He moved his hands up and down her back.
"Yes but don't you dare tell anyone."
Sam frowned. "It will be our little secret.
He leaned into her, and she lay down unto the couch.
"Maybe we should take this somewhere else."
"Maybe you're right." Rebecca whispered.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"They'll go away."
The doorbell rang again, frantically.
"I think you should get it, Sam. I'll be right here."
Reluctanlty,Sam got up to answer the door. He was in for the shock of his life when he saw that it was Diane standing before him.