Through The Darkness
~ ~ ~
You're Still You -Josh Groban
Through the Darkness
I Can See Your Light.
And You Will Always Shine
And I Can Feel Your Heart In Mine.
You're Face I've Memorized-
I Idolized Just You.
I've Loved You For So Long
And After All is Said and Done
You're Still You
After All
You're Still You
~ ~ ~
1.
It was raining when the phone rang. Really raining. Hard. The sound was terrible; as if if you walked outside, it would just slam you down into the ground until you died. Like a nail.
Not a pretty picture. I usually like the rain. I like the image of walking in the rain or even singing in the rain when it snuffs all sound and it feels like you are all alone in the world with the little drops hitting your head and shoulders. But that's the soft rain. The rain that sounds like music when it hits the rooftop. Not the rain that pelts people down. And that was the type of rain that was going on when the phone rang.
"Vaughn."
"Joey's Pizza?"
I almost dropped the phone. She was calling me. In this rain. But it was her so I, after looking at the phone in astonishment for a couple seconds, told her it was a wrong number and jumped out of my armchair to get a jacket.
"Okay, I'm sorry," and that's when I realized that she was crying. She was trying to hide it but she was bawling in the background and apologizing to me.
"That's okay, you don't have to be sorry-" I said, a little worried. "Everybody makes wrong numbers sometimes."
"Come soon," she whispered before hanging up the phone.
I froze at her words, immediately envisioning the worst scenarios flying through my head. But I couldn't stop myself now. Sydney needed me.
~:~
I walked out into the warehouse, my hair plastered to my hairs and my skin numb from where the rain had hit it from the walk to and from the car.
And that's when I saw her. She was huddled deep into her parka, hair damp and hanging around her face and she rocked back and forth. I knew that this wasn't a business meeting. She had called for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
I put an arm on her shoulder. "Sydney? What's wrong?" My hand shook from her crying.
She looked up and pulled me towards her, clasping her arms around my neck and sobbing into my shoulder.
I sat down awkwardly on the crate and patted her back, worried about her reaction. Even in the worst of times she had never lost so much of her control. Then I heard her words.
"Dead. She's dead. Again." The same words over and over being mumbled into my shoulder.
"Sydney? Who's dead? What are you talking about?" I smoothed her hair from her face and that's when I saw the blood.
I opened up her parka and looked and her t-shit. It was spattered with blood; almost dyed red from it. "Sydney, are you okay? What the hell happened? You have to tell me!" I felt desperate now. I needed to know what happened, had to know what was wrong. Hated feeling completely helpless.
"My mom." Tears squeezed out of her closed lips and her whole body shook from the effort of keeping her sobs inside.
My whole body froze. Irinia Derevko was dead? But this was Irina Derevko. . . how could she die? "Are you sure?"
There was a silence then and I was afraid of what I had said. I knew she would lash out at my words; despite all odds, she had fallen in love with her mother again.
Sydney looked at me with pure anger in her eyes. "AM I SURE?" She opened up her parka again. "Is this SURE enough for you? I was THERE and I can promise you that she did not live through this one. Or have you forgotten that she worked for the CIA? She did everything we told her to do and more. SD-6 is gone BECAUSE of HER. She turned and I can't believe that you are still this bitter about your father's death. Yes it's terrible, it's awful and I'm sorry I had to say it but she was a different person then. You know she was. She was with me. And I was the target. And she got shot twice in the chest and once in the head for ME."
I was almost left speechless because of this attack. I didn't know what to say; my mind was fighting between saying "You're right, I'm sorry" or "How were you the target of an assassination attempt?" or "Your mother took 3 bullets for you?" or "Don't you dare bring my father into this."
I chose all of them. "Sydney, don't you DARE bring my father into this. Yes, Irina Derevko was a different person then. Yes she was shot and took bullets that were meant for you and that was honorable. Yes she turned and she worked for the CIA. But that does NOT by any means lessen the pain that she brought to my family, nor does it lessen the fact that my father was cut out from my life when I needed him the most. I'm sorry that you lost your mother and I can commiserate with you or whatever else I need to but don't expect me to take it when you try to increase your misery by decreasing the importance of other people's. I am sorry that I asked you that question. But you have to remember that I did not have any information of this before you told me and she HAS done it before. It's not like I was making up some fantastic and unbelievable story to defame her character."
Sydney nodded. "Okay."
And that was the weird thing. It's some sort of weird unspoken thing between us that whenever we have a fight, it never lasted for more than a few moments. Even if I hated her with all the blood in my body and I wanted the fight to last forever, she could say something and all of it would dissipate. Immediately. I don't know what that means but that has to mean something.
And with that okay, we were. Okay I mean. She had said hers and I had said mine and all the feelings were out there and now they were not as important. Leaving only Sydney and Vaughn.
She took my hand in hers and squeezed it slightly. And started to tell me what had happened.
"We were just walking down the street. We were actually going to go Christmas shopping at the center that was a few blocks away. And we were talking. About you-" She quickly looked at me and I hid the look of shock that would have come over my face. I wanted to ask but I didn't.
"And then we both got the eeriest feeling and we looked around us. And mom saw it first."
The tears were started to come again. "She- she jumped in front of me and then she fell and the guy ran away and I just stood there and I screamed and screamed-" She looked at me again. "Her blood went all over me. And now I feel like I'm responsible. I was supposed to die. She wasn't supposed to leave me again."
Strangely, her tears were completely gone. But she looked sadder than I have ever seen her before and I grew terrified of what that meant. I wanted her to cry. . . I didn't want this emotionless Sydney that was sitting before me. I took her in my arms and pressed her to me, stroking her back softly and she lay a head on my shoulder, looking blankly into the ground.
Irina Derevko was dead.
(review review review)-Jenn
~ ~ ~
You're Still You -Josh Groban
Through the Darkness
I Can See Your Light.
And You Will Always Shine
And I Can Feel Your Heart In Mine.
You're Face I've Memorized-
I Idolized Just You.
I've Loved You For So Long
And After All is Said and Done
You're Still You
After All
You're Still You
~ ~ ~
1.
It was raining when the phone rang. Really raining. Hard. The sound was terrible; as if if you walked outside, it would just slam you down into the ground until you died. Like a nail.
Not a pretty picture. I usually like the rain. I like the image of walking in the rain or even singing in the rain when it snuffs all sound and it feels like you are all alone in the world with the little drops hitting your head and shoulders. But that's the soft rain. The rain that sounds like music when it hits the rooftop. Not the rain that pelts people down. And that was the type of rain that was going on when the phone rang.
"Vaughn."
"Joey's Pizza?"
I almost dropped the phone. She was calling me. In this rain. But it was her so I, after looking at the phone in astonishment for a couple seconds, told her it was a wrong number and jumped out of my armchair to get a jacket.
"Okay, I'm sorry," and that's when I realized that she was crying. She was trying to hide it but she was bawling in the background and apologizing to me.
"That's okay, you don't have to be sorry-" I said, a little worried. "Everybody makes wrong numbers sometimes."
"Come soon," she whispered before hanging up the phone.
I froze at her words, immediately envisioning the worst scenarios flying through my head. But I couldn't stop myself now. Sydney needed me.
~:~
I walked out into the warehouse, my hair plastered to my hairs and my skin numb from where the rain had hit it from the walk to and from the car.
And that's when I saw her. She was huddled deep into her parka, hair damp and hanging around her face and she rocked back and forth. I knew that this wasn't a business meeting. She had called for a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
I put an arm on her shoulder. "Sydney? What's wrong?" My hand shook from her crying.
She looked up and pulled me towards her, clasping her arms around my neck and sobbing into my shoulder.
I sat down awkwardly on the crate and patted her back, worried about her reaction. Even in the worst of times she had never lost so much of her control. Then I heard her words.
"Dead. She's dead. Again." The same words over and over being mumbled into my shoulder.
"Sydney? Who's dead? What are you talking about?" I smoothed her hair from her face and that's when I saw the blood.
I opened up her parka and looked and her t-shit. It was spattered with blood; almost dyed red from it. "Sydney, are you okay? What the hell happened? You have to tell me!" I felt desperate now. I needed to know what happened, had to know what was wrong. Hated feeling completely helpless.
"My mom." Tears squeezed out of her closed lips and her whole body shook from the effort of keeping her sobs inside.
My whole body froze. Irinia Derevko was dead? But this was Irina Derevko. . . how could she die? "Are you sure?"
There was a silence then and I was afraid of what I had said. I knew she would lash out at my words; despite all odds, she had fallen in love with her mother again.
Sydney looked at me with pure anger in her eyes. "AM I SURE?" She opened up her parka again. "Is this SURE enough for you? I was THERE and I can promise you that she did not live through this one. Or have you forgotten that she worked for the CIA? She did everything we told her to do and more. SD-6 is gone BECAUSE of HER. She turned and I can't believe that you are still this bitter about your father's death. Yes it's terrible, it's awful and I'm sorry I had to say it but she was a different person then. You know she was. She was with me. And I was the target. And she got shot twice in the chest and once in the head for ME."
I was almost left speechless because of this attack. I didn't know what to say; my mind was fighting between saying "You're right, I'm sorry" or "How were you the target of an assassination attempt?" or "Your mother took 3 bullets for you?" or "Don't you dare bring my father into this."
I chose all of them. "Sydney, don't you DARE bring my father into this. Yes, Irina Derevko was a different person then. Yes she was shot and took bullets that were meant for you and that was honorable. Yes she turned and she worked for the CIA. But that does NOT by any means lessen the pain that she brought to my family, nor does it lessen the fact that my father was cut out from my life when I needed him the most. I'm sorry that you lost your mother and I can commiserate with you or whatever else I need to but don't expect me to take it when you try to increase your misery by decreasing the importance of other people's. I am sorry that I asked you that question. But you have to remember that I did not have any information of this before you told me and she HAS done it before. It's not like I was making up some fantastic and unbelievable story to defame her character."
Sydney nodded. "Okay."
And that was the weird thing. It's some sort of weird unspoken thing between us that whenever we have a fight, it never lasted for more than a few moments. Even if I hated her with all the blood in my body and I wanted the fight to last forever, she could say something and all of it would dissipate. Immediately. I don't know what that means but that has to mean something.
And with that okay, we were. Okay I mean. She had said hers and I had said mine and all the feelings were out there and now they were not as important. Leaving only Sydney and Vaughn.
She took my hand in hers and squeezed it slightly. And started to tell me what had happened.
"We were just walking down the street. We were actually going to go Christmas shopping at the center that was a few blocks away. And we were talking. About you-" She quickly looked at me and I hid the look of shock that would have come over my face. I wanted to ask but I didn't.
"And then we both got the eeriest feeling and we looked around us. And mom saw it first."
The tears were started to come again. "She- she jumped in front of me and then she fell and the guy ran away and I just stood there and I screamed and screamed-" She looked at me again. "Her blood went all over me. And now I feel like I'm responsible. I was supposed to die. She wasn't supposed to leave me again."
Strangely, her tears were completely gone. But she looked sadder than I have ever seen her before and I grew terrified of what that meant. I wanted her to cry. . . I didn't want this emotionless Sydney that was sitting before me. I took her in my arms and pressed her to me, stroking her back softly and she lay a head on my shoulder, looking blankly into the ground.
Irina Derevko was dead.
(review review review)-Jenn