A/N: One of my all time favorite movies is Zoolander. I've decided to combine my love for the movie and my love for Fifty Shades. Thanks to the FSOG FB girls for encouraging this. Enjoy!

What's up world? My name is Christian Greylander. Yeah, I know that's a totally cool name, right? My real name is Christian Grey, but I needed a super cool name for my modeling career so I got all creative and came up with Greylander. I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking, and I plan on finding out what that is. I have the support of my smart girlfriend Ana Steele to help me. When I say she's smart, I'm serious. She's smarter than Snooki on Jersey Shore so she's a freaking Einstein. Since she's the rock to my roll, I named my signature pose after her, Blue Steele. Fuck, here comes that idiot Gideon. He tries to rain on my bow. Even my main man Taylor thinks he's a big deal.

"Gideon, he's so hot right now.", Taylor says from his spot in the studio. Today's the day that I'm shooting my new calendar. That's right, you can have Christian Greylander on your wall the entire sixteen months of the year.

"What's up Greylander?", that wanna be asks while running his hands through his hair. I will give him credit in that he has nice hair, but so do ponys.

"Um, the sky, duh."

"Look bra, you don't have to be a smart ass." Taylor looks like he's afraid there's going to be smack down.

"Hold up Ese, I'm not being a smart ass because I'm not smart." Gideon starts laughing at me, but I don't care. "What you see is what you get, and I don't pretend to be smart. Also, I'm not your bra."

"Whatever Greylander. Your modeling career is dried up. Soon, you'll be saying do you want fries with that?" Who does this clown think he is? I'm at the peak of my career, and the world is at my feet like grass.

"If my career is dried up, why was I hanging out with Justin Bieber last week?" Shock runs through his tanned face. "That's right, me and the Biebs are buds, jealous?"

"Not at all. Why would I care if you hang out with Bieber when I hang out with Robert Pattinson. The two of us hit up the clubs when K Stew is out of town so smoke on that." Why would I be jealous that he hangs out with a vampire? I'm too busy having Bieber fever.

In the corner of my eye I see Ana and my dad walking up to us. She looks pissed off. Oh well, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Trust me. Been there, done that. Gideon looks like he's undressing her with his eyes. That well manicured bastard!

"Ana, I was just talking with Gideon, but he was on his way out of here."

"I heard the two of you arguing Christian. Why can't the two of you just get along?", she asks. For a smart woman, she doesn't understand that Gideon and I will NEVER be friends. The guy is too into his looks.

"I agree Ana. Your boyfriend doesn't want to be friends so it's ok." What in the hell?

"You both look stupid.", my dad scoffs. He's never understood why I model.

"Why Dad? I don't look stupid. I look really really good. I do this to make you proud."

"How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see?"

"Actually Carrick, while Christian does model underwear, I'm the only one who sees his weiner so don't be hard on him.", Ana smiles. Sweet Ana, always coming to my rescue when I need her. Just the other day I thought I had gone blind, but the lights were just turned off in the room.

"I can't stand around and watch this. Your brother and sister make me proud, but you Christian..." He hangs his head down in disappointment. A lone tear falls down my face. I won't cry. I won't cry. I'm Christian Greylander, the best fucking male model in Seattle!

"Stay here Dad and let me make you proud. Gideon, we're going to have a walk off." Taylor looks at me in shock.

"Can you hurry up Christian? I have to speak at the funeral of my friend Bill who died."

"You're going to be a "eugoogolizer.", I ask.

"A what?"

"A eugoolizer, someone who speaks at funerals. Do you think I'm too stupid to not know what a eugoogoly is? Jeez Dad." The man doesn't give me enough credit.

"Come on Greylander. Let's get this over with.", Gideon laughs as he pulls a mirror from his pocket to check his hair.

"You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't."

"Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules. First model walks; second model duplicates, then elaborates. Okay, boys - let's go to work!", Taylor announces.

"You first Gid-e-on."

Gideon walks up to the stage as "Beat It" plays. He begins strutting down the stage and then starts doing the robot. I can do that.

"Your turn Christian.", Ana says from the sidelines. I get on the stage and mimick Gideon exactly. Gideon then gets back on the stage where he break dances, which I do as well. The third round, Gideon decides to walk down the stage on his hands. I, of course, follow. It's now the fourth round, and Gideon walks down the stage with crazy eyes. He reaches in his leather pants and pulls out his underwear. That's easy.

"Watch this Gideon." I walk down the stage with those same crazy eyes before shoving my hands down my pants to pull out my underwear. Fuck, this is hard. I'm struggling here. My eyes are bulging as I pull them, but owwww. I just gave myself a backwards wedgie. I lost.

"Gideon wins.", Taylors says all too enthusiastically.

"Good try Greylander." Gideon extends his hand to me, and he actually looks sincere.

"Thanks. You did good."

"I have to say Christian, that was some performance.", my dad smiles. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Dad!" Ana walks over to me and kisses me with those soft sweet lips of hers.

"You're my winner. Come on, let's go."

Taking Ana's hand, I turn left to leave. I can't believe it! I'm not an ambi-turner. It's a problem I had since I was a baby. I can't turn left.

"Did you see that?! I turned left!"

"I did! I'm so proud of you and love you so much.", Ana smiles.

"Anything is possible now."