Disclaimer: I still don't own the POTC characters. However, it's only a matter of time until my evil plans come to fruition... Muahahahaha!
Hi, I'm Saf, and I'm in big trouble. My cousins have been kidnapped by skeleton pirates, in the middle of 21st century London! It's up to me, Tori and Captain Jack Sparrow to rescue them, but exactly what dangers will we have to face?
"Who would you rather meet, Will or Jack?" Tori asks as she skips along the pavement beside me.
"The Captain, obviously! How you can prefer Will is beyond me. Jack is superior in every way." I reply, checking that the boys are following us. "Will is boring, 'I love you Elizabeth, marry me, bla bla bla.' Jack, on the other hand. Adventure. Piracy. Rum."
Tori rolls her eyes at me, so I ask, "Would you rather sail on the Black Pearl, or live with Will in that blacksmith shop?"
While Tori considers, I notice how dark it's getting and check my watch. "Dan, Alex, hurry up. The film starts in twenty minutes!"
I'm taking my three cousins to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and already I'm regretting the decision. Tori is fine on her own, quite good company actually, but the two boys can be a bit of a handful.
"Saf, is Elizabeth in the movie?" Alex asks for the fiftieth time. I don't bother answering. I wish I hadn't agreed to bring him. Alex and Dan are identical twins, with neat blonde hair and blue eyes. But under the sweetness, they're as evil as Davy Jones and Cutler Beckett combined.
Finally we reach the cinema, and join the long queue for tickets. Alex and Dan run around yelling while I send Tori to buy popcorn.
"Let's play worm touch." Dan shouts, and I blush as everyone in the queue turns to look at him. "It's like playing Tag, whoever has the worm touch touches the other person to give them it. The person who ends up with the worm touch grows a beard made of worms like Davy Jones." At least nobody knows that I'm responsible for the boys.
I should relax. After all, I've been looking forward to this film for months. I must have watched the other three about fifty times. I daydream about Jack in Chemistry class. I can almost recite the scripts from all three films so far and I watch all the bonus features and audio commentaries that I can get hold of.
"Are those boys yours?" asks the man behind me in the queue. Oh dear. Its not my fault that they're misbehaving. I turn round, and stare at him. He looks just like Captain Jack Sparrow. Right down to the costume. Even his rings are identical.
"Yes, they're my cousins. I'm in charge of them." I say, preparing myself for a lecture.
"Don't worry lass," he laughs, reading my thoughts. "I was just going to say that I'm sure I've seen them somewhere before." It's amazing how similar he looks to the Captain. Even his voice is right. But Johnny Depp wouldn't be in a small cinema on the outskirts of London. Would he?
"Really?" I ask, captivated by his deep brown eyes. Captain Jack Sparrow's eyes. The eyes that I thought about every day. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that... But no. Impossible. It couldn't be him. "I love your costume, by the way!"
"What?" he replies, and I get the feeling that he really has no clue what I mean by this.
"Your costume." I persist. "It's very realistic. I wish I'd thought to dress up, but I've been busy looking after my cousins. My name's Safia, but everyone calls me Saf."
He grins, and I see that a few of his teeth have gold caps. "Pleased to meet you love, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl." Wow! I think he actually believes that he's Captain Jack Sparrow. The weird thing is, I'm starting to believe it too.
Suddenly, everything begins to go wrong. The lights flicker, then go out, leaving the cinema in darkness. Several of the smaller children begin to scream, and I clutch Tori's arm.
"Don't worry Saf, it's just a power cut." she says, but I'm still scared. I've always been a bit of a coward, and I usually choose to run away when a dangerous situation arises. Tori is very practical, and unlike me, she never gets stressed or jumps to conclusions.
"Dan, Alex!" I shout, but my voice is drowned out by the panic. The moon appears from behind the clouds, and bathes the cinema in a ghostly, silver light. That's when things get really creepy.
Remember the skeleton pirates from the curse of the black pearl? I'm looking at them. Swords drawn, and ready to fight a load of normal people from London. I can't help screaming then, and I think I'm about to faint.
"Keep calm love." Jack says, reassuringly. Keep calm? How can I possibly keep calm? There are skeletons within spitting distance! "You need to get your cousins out of here. T'is no place for a young lass like yourself, savvy?" At that moment, I know that he's definitely the real Captain Jack. Someone wearing a costume would be as terrified as I am by the skeletons.
He puts a hand on my arm, and totally inappropriate thoughts enter my mind. I know he's trying to help, but he's making this situation much worse. While part of me is worrying about my cousins and the skeleton pirate attack, the other part of my brain is busy doing what it does best, namely thinking about Jack.
My thoughts go something like this: "Captain Jack Sparrow just touched me! On the arm! And he called me love! Twice! Maybe he's going to kiss me! Then we'll get married, and go back a few centuries, and I can see the Black Pearl, and meet Barbossa, and we'll buy a big house in Tortuga, and we can have baby pirates, and-"
My ridiculous train of thought is interrupted by a mouldy looking skeleton. He smells of rotting flesh and corpses, and I suddenly feel like vomiting.
All thoughts of On Stranger Tides gone, I call out for Dan and Alex over and over again. This movie has been all I can think about for months, but now it has vanished from my brain. There is chaos as everyone runs around, looking for a way out, or somewhere to hide. The darkness makes the situation worse, and although Tori helps look, the boys are nowhere to be found.
Then, as suddenly as they came, the skeletons are gone, vanishing into thin air. The lights come back on, and families start to make their way out of their hiding places. The foyer of the cinema is totally wrecked, popcorn and leaflets littering the floor.
Tori scans the destroyed room for Dan and Alex, frowning. "I can't see them anywhere. Do you think the pirates took them?"
I feel sick. What am I going to tell my aunt? Your children were kidnapped by skeletons? My family were going to kill me. I'd be grounded for years, maybe booked into counselling. Was I going crazy? It seemed real enough, but then dreams always feel like real life. Most of my dreams do contain Captain Jack Sparrow, after all.
"Maybe Dan and Alex ran away while the skeletons were attacking. Through the doors to the left, and into the road. They might be waiting there now." Tori suggests hopefully, but Jack shakes his head.
"The doors were locked. I saw people trying to open them." he says. "Nobody escaped from the building. The skeletons must've taken them."
"Why would skeleton pirates kidnap my cousins?" I ask, frustrated by Jack's calm manner. "Wait, don't tell me. They want their blood, because my aunt was a pirate, and the blood of her sons is the only thing that can end the curse."
"You might be onto something there, love!" he replies excitedly. Although he obviously didn't understand my sarcasm and is talking utter nonsense, I can't stay mad at him.
"My aunt is not a pirate. She's a dentist." I sigh, imagining my strait-laced Aunt Kirsty sailing the seven seas. The thought is completely absurd, and I can't help smiling.
"Your uncle?" Jack asks hopefully. "He could be a pirate?"
Now, that is technically more likely. Alex, Dan and their parents live in Hampton, a seriously posh place with a river that leads to the English channel. In fact, my uncle goes away a lot overseas, and he even has a boat! But no. Impossible. There aren't many pirates around nowadays.
"Sorry Jack, but there's absolutely no way that anyone in our family is a pirate." Tori says, obviously getting tired of this weirdness. "Come on, let's go outside the cinema."
"Captain." he replies, smirking. "Captain Jack Sparrow." I love it when he says that. If my cousins weren't missing, I'd be in heaven right now. I'm standing right next to him, but all I can think about is where the boys are. Tori rolls her eyes. I can see that she has reached boiling point.
"You don't even have a ship, Captain. We're in the 21st century. You can't just sail a pirate ship up the river Thames. The police would lock you up." she says, mockingly. "In fact, show me your gun. And your sword."
Once we're in the street, Tori inspects the weapons carefully, and I have to try very hard not to laugh. She's only twelve, although she's very mature, and has never seen a weapon in her life.
What would a stranger think if they saw this innocent schoolgirl waving an old gun around? Luckily, all the people from the cinema have gone and the moon is behind some clouds, leaving the road in darkness.
"Your sword is rusty. And the gun is useless." she sneers at Jack, who just smiles. This reminds me of the time Norrington said something similar to him in the first film. "This gun doesn't even-" Tori accidentally fires the gun, startling a few pigeons. I snatch the weapons and return them to their rightful owner. Jack looks gratefully at me as I drag Tori out of the way.
Why is Tori being so mean to Jack? How did Jack get to a cinema in 2011? Where are Alex and Dan? And what am I going to do next? Read on for the answers to at least two of these questions.
Note: If you enjoyed reading this, reviews would be great! Thank you! Chapters will be shortish and there may be a longish wait between them, as I'm doing exams at the moment. Have a fun day!