Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or the show, or the rights to anything. I am making no money.
A fair warning, this story contains slash.
This is part III, as promised. Thank you for following and for your feedback. It was greatly appreciated. Also, thank you Dizzy-Dreamer, my wonderful beta.
Breathe
There were several things Jethro had to say to his senior field agent.
"—you came back down for me Tony. That means you left Maddie, on the dock, unbreathing. You took a risk with her life DiNozzo!"
"—Good work Tony. You saved two lives today, don't beat yourself up over the could-have-beens."
"—Tony. Thank you."
"—DiNozzo if you ever put my life before the life of a civilian again I will fire you. Do I make myself clear!"
"—go see the paramedics DiNozzo. I'm not taking any chances with those lungs of yours."
"—you need a favor Tony, ever, you call it in. Understand?"
It had been three hours. The paramedics had cleared everyone but the men DiNozzo had shot. Ducky had left with them in the van. Ziva and McGee were back at the office filing their reports and Jethro had just dropped off Maddie. She stood on the sidewalk with a big smile, waving at him. Tony moved himself into the front seat and closed the door. He smelled like ocean. So did Jethro. Every third or fourth minute Tony would make an unfortunate raspy-coughing sound that made Jethro wonder about the qualifications of the medic who had cleared him.
It had been three hours. They drove in silence because Jethro had yet to say a word to Tony besides his name.
He threw the car in park when they reached his driveway and pulled the keys out of the ignition, dropping them into his coat pocket. Tony looked at him.
"Uh, Boss? I need those if I'm gonna get home."
Speak Jethro.
Not yet.
He jerked his head at the house and got out of the car, waiting for Dinozzo to follow before he closed the door.
xXx
Talk to me boss. Say something. Speak to me. Was he mad? Three hours and not one damn word. A thank you would have been nice—or at least a scolding for leaving Maddie on the dock. Did Gibbs know that Tony had left him for dead and moved to do CPR on Maddie? He couldn't know how much it had taken; to give up and save someone else. But Tony had known that Gibbs would rather Maddie survive and there weren't enough people in the world who considered what Gibbs wanted.
And now they were at the boss's house and Gibbs was walking through his front door with the keys to Tony's car and he didn't look like he was ready to give them back. Tony followed him into the living room and then, inevitably, down the stairs to the basement. Where there was a boat—of course there was a boat—and probably a bottle of something very strong smelling. Gibbs was much softer on the stairs than Tony was. He walked down without making a noise. Tony tried, he always tried, but tonight he was too tired and his feet tripped on themselves. He clung to the railing with his left hand, leaning on it more than he should have.
Gibbs was there at the workbench dumping out two jars of nails. They struck the table with a clattering noise that made Tony wince after the long silence. The pop of an opened glass bottle; the shattering sound of liquor, a little like the sound of the nails, being poured out twice. It made Tony think of the water.
Tony coughed, the kind of cough that might have brought his brains out of his mouth if his nose hadn't been between the two. He gasped the dusty air in gratefully when it stopped and cleared his throat. "Sorry boss." he muttered when Gibbs looked at him. Gibbs held out one of the glasses with a swig poured inside. "Ah—thanks." Tony took a careful sniff, scrunched his eyes shut, braced his feet and knees, and gulped it down.
It burned like that first relief of fresh air.
Coughing—heartbeats of it—breath.
Tony breathed deeply. His lungs were still sore, but he managed the inhale without hacking it back out. He clunked the glass down on the wood, reaching past the boss to do it.
"Thanks boss." he rasped.
xXx
"—you're welcome Tony." Jethro didn't say it. He didn't say it because Tony shouldn't be thanking him. He should be thanking Tony. And reaming his ass into the ground. And giving him a good slap on the back of the head. And—
Tony had taken Maddie first, and he must of checked her pulse before diving in again. That was what he had told the Director. But she hadn't been breathing and Tony had left her on the dock, which was stupid. Then Tony had done CPR on Jethro first, even worse. But Tony had excuses: Jethro had been down longer, he hadn't been unconscious after the car hit so he'd inhaled more water, his heartbeat was threadier...
At the last Tony had given up and left Jethro to save Maddie.
Did Tony know that Jethro knew? Tony had wanted to save Jethro first, hadn't wanted to stop CPR. Dinozzo had risked his life, and almost Maddie's, for a reason.
A damn good reason, but one Jethro was uncomfortable with. Not because of the connotations. Or because he wouldn't like—
He sighed and turned to lean his hands on the boat. She was smooth wood beneath the rough of his palms.
—because it could screw up so many things up in so many ways. The job. The team. What they had going worked well and Jethro wanted to keep it that way.
But Tony—What did Tony want? It was time he started thinking about that.
xXx
The boss still wasn't speaking.
"Boss, if you're going to yell at me, it's okay. I can take it." Gibbs was leaning against his boat shaking his head. Tony could smell sawdust and the bourbon and barely, just underneath and because of the proximity, he could smell Gibbs.
Tony folded his hands behind his back, marine-style, and tried to be still. He waited.
Gibbs sucked on his bottom lip and glanced over his shoulder and Tony was still. His brain fired a couple of neurons and started clunking again. Maybe—maybe Gibbs thought he had screwed up? By backing the car into the bay? Maddie was the new daughter to him. And with Maddie's father dead there was chance that this bond would stick, right? It was the boss's second chance. Then she'd almost died and Gibbs had been unable to save her.
And I missed it. Stupid. How would you feel?
"Boss?" Tony moved a little closer and risked putting his hand on the bosses shoulder. "Are you okay?" Gibbs reached up to take Tony's hand and pulled.
Whump. Strong wood meeting Tony's back.
Tony blinked into the blue eyes. His peripheral vision came back slowly, the feeling in his knees left with the temporary vertigo. He was trapped now, between the soft-sanded wood of the boat and the not so soft and sanded gaze of his boss. Gibbs. Who was close. And who looked kinda pissed. And who looked like he was finally going to say something.
xXx
Dinozzo—"Tony." –put my life before the life of a citizen—if you ever need a favor—left her on the dock—saved the lives of two people—
Tony didn't look intimidated. He didn't look trapped. He was looking at Gibbs like he understood. Dinozzo knew every single thing Gibbs was going to say.
And he knows exactly what he did.
Tony had stopped giving Jethro C.P.R., had risked letting him die, because he knew that Jethro would rather he save Maddie's life.
Jethro watched his senior field agent. Tony was breathing. Steady. Deep. Strong.
xXx
"Tony." Tony waited for every single thing he knew Gibbs would say. He would probably start with the anger and work backwards. End with a gentle compliment and a thank you. Because that was what Gibbs did. He made sure you knew damn well what you had done wrong and then made sure you knew what you'd done right.
"I'm going to kiss you. Unless you say no."
What?
Tony didn't say no. Tony didn't say anything because—
The darkness of not breathing. Tony kept his eyes open like he was underwater again. And when Gibbs pulled away Tony breathed in, reached out with both of his hands, and brought himself to Gibbs instead of pulling back. Solid arms around his waist, iron but gentle hands on his back. The boss had surprisingly soft hair.
"Tony-" Gibbs was going to say something else. Which one of the other somethings? Tony shook his head.
"I know boss." Whatever it was. He knew.
Gibbs searched his face like he was a witness. Like he did with everyone.
"Yeah." Boss said and he didn't anything else. A quiet Gibbs was a happy Gibbs. Tony knew that too—
—pounding of his heart. Tony could hear the pounding of his heart with his head on the boss's shoulder. The soft pounding that went with the gentle arms and hands around him, and the unreal feeling that made Tony almost breathless. Gibbs was already asleep, breathing deeply. He didn't snore. Tony wasn't surprised: Gibbs did everything quietly unless he was solving a case. Walk. Speak. Work.
Breathe—