"Worst date of my life," Lily told the group of boys as she flung herself onto the couch. The four boys watched as she lay there staring up at the ceiling. After several minutes of silence she sat back up, only to glare at the boys who were crowded onto one armchair. It wasn't unusual for the marauder boys to be cosied up together on a particularly cold night but seeing as it was almost May; it was a bit odd. Sirius sat on top of James, while Peter and Remus sat on the arm rests; arms and legs all thrown onto one another.
"This is where you boys ask me what happened," the red head reminded them before resuming her position of staring up at the common room ceiling.
It was Peter that spoke first, "what happened?"
Good old Pete, always did what Lily asked of him. "I'm glad you asked Peter. You guys remember how that charming seventh year Alastair asked me out? Surely you do because I spoke of it quite often the past several days. Anyway, so he refuses to meet me outside the common room –oh no, of course not why would he be a gentleman and do that?
I know what you're thinking boys, why didn't I just end the date there and then? I know, I'm asking myself the same question. I believed he would make it up to me seeing as I had to walk all the way down to the Hufflepuff common room by my lonesome. It was a nice date, dinner in the kitchens and a nice stroll outside the castle afterwards. Then it happened."
Lily was still not making eye contact with the boys, so she couldn't see how James was looking anywhere but her. She also couldn't see how Sirius was trying not to smile over yet another bad date for Lily. She most definitely didn't see Remus struggling not to laugh at her dramatics – it was reminding him of James slightly. She most definitely didn't see how Peter was too busy focused on playing with James' hair to realise she was actually speaking.
There was yet another long pause; Lily obviously wanting a dramatic effect or for one of the boys to ask her to continue.
It was several more minutes until Sirius gave in and asked the question she was waiting for.
"What happened?"
Lily flew forward, gripping onto a pillow to her chest. Her eyes wild and her hair flying everywhere made the situation even funnier for Remus.
"He kissed me!"
Sirius gasped, holding a hand to his chest. "No!"
"Yes!"
"Why I never, the nerve of the boy, does he not know of Lily Evans' second date rule?"
"I know! That's what I was thinking, thank God you understand me Black. So yes, he kissed me even though I have a strict policy of no kissing on the first date because could you imagine how many first kisses I would be having a month? Gosh, my mother would turn over in her grave."
"Was he any good?" Peter pipped up, finally tuning back into the conversation.
Lily sighed, throwing herself forward so she almost folded onto herself. "No! All tongue and he attempted this bite thing."
"Bite thing?" James finally spoke, a hand in his hair and a confused expression plastered on his face. "Please explain that."
Lily shook her head, shrugging as she did so, "who knows what it was meant to be. One minute I was thinking 'stop the vicious tongue' and next minute it was 'is he trying to eat me?'"
Remus was roaring by now, no longer able to keep it in. James and Sirius shook their heads, horrific looks on their faces. Soon enough the two were mumbling about weird fetishes and always knowing the guy was a creep. Peter was just staring at Lily with disgust on his face.
"Why is biting even a thing, what ever happened to just plain old kissing?" Peter asked aloud to no one in particular.
"I agree, I one hundred percent agree with you Peter," Lily nodded tightening her grip onto the pillow. She knew the boys would understand. Her friends would cringe at the details. Her friends would ask her to be quiet and just accept that a nice guy took her out on a cute date. These boys however would look past the fact Lily got feed and just see the weirdness of the situation.
"I think it's time to come off boys," Sirius said while James nodded in agreement.
"It looks like you've got to go for the girls Evans," James agreed while Sirius took turn of nodding.
"Just know that we would fully accept the decision and would even allow PDA in the common room," Sirius continued to which this time Peter nodded to.
Remus shook his head, wondering why he hung out with such idiots.
"Or you could just come cuddle with us, as you can see we're quite good at snuggling up together," James grinned at Lily. For a moment Lily realised just how attractive James was, but it vanished when James licked Sirius on the cheek.
When the boys were done trying to be more 'cuddly' than usual, Lily found herself positioning herself on the chair as well. Five on a single armchair was quite an achievement and they managed to do so with everyone magically comfortable.
Lily wouldn't say it aloud, but if her terrible dates always ended up cosying up to the marauders; she would try to have terrible dates more often.