Title: An orange book and the ninja who read it
Fandom: Naruto
Character(s): Kakashi and OC [Yumi]
Rating: PG-13
Words: 581
Summery: Sometimes an active imagination can be downright dangerous.
Author's Note: Inspired by one of those silly "what does Naruto characters think about you?" memes:
"Neji: believes you are his and his alone, any male to touch you will have to face his wrath
"Shikamaru: daydreams about you and him and his bed at midnight
"Kakashi: thinks of you as his little sister, he always looks after you, kicks Naruto's but when he insults you, scares away the male population, he even lends you his Icha Icha paradise books"
Disclaimer: Naruto was created by Kishimoto Masashi – I don't own a thing.
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Yumi looked up – barely hiding a confused "Eh?" – when Kakashi landed softly on her windowsill and proceeded to simply and emotionlessly state: "The Nara brat wants your body."
"Oh?" the kunoichi settled quietly and returned her gaze to the orange book in her hands – turning a page and blinking furiously when it described... things she wasn't even sure were possible – who made up this stuff? Oh, that's right – the white haired pervert her perverted friend on the windowsill worshiped.
"He is quite the little closet pervert that one," Kakashi went on – his only visible eye turning into a happy up-side-down U, "didn't know he had such an active imagination."
"Isn't that only healthy for teenage boys?" Yumi replied after having turned the book she was reading around and then back – trying to work out if you actually could do it like the book described.
"You like him?" The older ninja asked as he climbed into the room like an oversized cat and strolled across the floor to lean against the back wall lazily.
"Sure," came the absentminded reply – this was all very confusing, she thought – she was sure that was really and utterly undoable.
"You do?"
Kakashi was confused – wasn't she dating the Hyuuga genius?
"What?"
Now that she knew was impossible!
"Do you like the Nara brat?" The Copy Ninja repeated patiently – watching as the question was processed by the girl he considered somewhat his younger sister.
"Yes," she answered simply, "he's a bit lazy, but on the whole I guess he's a good person."
"Does Neji know?" Kakashi was certain there would be bloodshed if the young genius didn't.
"I don't know," she countered, "he knows I hang out with Shika, Ino and Chouji so I guess he knows."
"The four of you?!"
That was kinky even for Kakashi – and he did read porn openly in public places!
"Sometimes," the oblivious kunoichi replied, "we all hang out – rookie nine and Neji's old team."
"But, but, but..."
This was getting worse and worse – ninja orgies – and no-one bothered to invite him?
"Does it bother you?" Yumi asked calmly – almost innocently, Kakashi thought.
"All of you at once? Why not me?"
"Didn't think you'd like hanging out with a bunch of brats – Gaara asked about inviting you once, but no-one could find you so..."
"Th-the sand siblings too?"
Was every young ninja in the village and beyond in on this?! Why hadn't he picked up on this earlier?
"What's wrong, Kaka-kun?"
"W-wrong...?"
"You're shivering," the matter of fact reply came, "are you catching a cold?"
"O-of course not! Why haven't anyone but Gaara tried to invite me?"
Ninja orgies – maaan – of course he was shivering!
"Well," Yumi tried to remember, "he only asked because Baki was coming with and we picked up Asuma, Kurenai and Gai along the way – probably though it'd be appropriate at the time."
The Jounin sensei too?! And...
"Gai was there?"
"Yeah," the orange book was catching her interest again – now that was down right wrong! "He spurted about youthfulness the entire time."
No, no, no – this wasn't happening!
"You had sex with Gai!" Kakashi roared at the top of his lungs – unable to take it anymore.
Yumi stared at him – blinking repeatedly and blushed beet-red in utter confusion.
"What – NO!"
"But you said..."
"We had barbeque!" Yumi yelled back.
"Serious," the kunoichi continued more calmly and threw the orange book at the shinobi – hitting him in the head, "is orgies the only thing on your mind?"
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