A/N: Felt a sudden craving for angst yesterday (strange, because yesterday was Thanksgiving) and so I wrote this. It's not my best writing, but I like to think it's tolerable. I also decided to experiment with the narration, and so the time frames are pretty much circular, but I'm sure you'll be able to understand what's going on.

Warnings: a yaoi relationship, character death, uber-angst, and OOC Kakashi.

As always, reviews are appreciated and flames are ignored.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. -MeeLee

Irony

BEGIN

He had known from the beginning that it was a bad idea. Even his team, his friends had approached him and told him that this was wrong, that he should not have done this.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Hell, even his rival had drawn him aside and whispered in the most serious voice Maito Gai had ever been able to summon that he was making a big mistake.

"What do you mean?"

It wasn't his fault though. Neither of them had known that this path would open up, and even when faced with the consequences, they had made their decision.

"I don't know. Just…please. Don't go on this mission."

It was almost an unspoken shinobi rule: getting involved with a jounin was a mistake. Jounin went on the most dangerous missions; jounin put their lives at the greatest risk; jounin died first and left their loves behind to mourn.

"It's just reconnaissance. Hardly even B-rank. It's nothing to worry about, really."

But they had decided anyway, and they tried to pretend that that rule did not exist. And for a while things were all right.

"No—listen to me! Something about this mission isn't right!"

They lived, they laughed, and they loved. They had each other, and that was fine. And soon, that rule receded into the backs of their minds, and eventually the minds of the other villagers. Those apprehensive stares, the sympathetic whispers, they all disappeared, and it made them all the more happy.

"Kakashi." Iruka frowned. "It's just a B-rank mission. You could handle it while asleep; it's really no big deal."

Very slowly, Kakashi rose from the side of the bed, walking over so that he was standing right in front of the chuunin. "You don't understand," he whispered. "Something…Something is going to go wrong. I can feel it."

He saw Iruka's face soften into that look a parent gives a child who claims that there's a monster under his bed. "I'm going with a team, Kakashi," he said with a soft, reassuring smile. "And we won't even be leaving Konoha."

The older ninja slowly shook his head. "Don't go," he whispered. "Iruka, please."

Iruka sighed, closing his eyes for an instant. "It's an order from Tsunade-sama," he said. "I couldn't disobey it even if I wanted to." He looked up and brushed his fingers against the side of his lover's face. "Everything'll be fine," he said, smiling. "I'll be back soon. I promise." Leaning up, he gently brushed Kakashi's lips with his own. "Love you."

Kakashi swallowed, trying to force that ominous feeling down into the depths of his gut. Iruka was right; it was a B-rank reconnaissance team mission. What could go wrong?

"Love you too."

Still smiling, Iruka turned and walked out the door.

But it could not last, because despite how hard they tried to destroy that rule, it inevitably adapted and then swooped down upon them. And how ironic it was that, when that happened, it was not the jounin who died first.

He could hear them whispering as he walked slowly past them toward the altar. He could hear their voices, see their sympathetic faces, practically smell their pity. Perhaps, in a previous life, he might have been angered by this, but now he was just too exhausted. He hadn't slept for days and had hardly eaten; his entire body trembled as he walked. Not to mention that, emotionally, he was utterly destroyed.

He had not even bothered to put on his hitai-ate, and Obito's Sharingan eye was now exposed and half-lidded like his other eye. He saw Asuma step up with his own hitai-ate in hand, thinking perhaps that Kakashi had forgotten his, but the silver-haired ninja swatted him impatiently aside. Let the eye be exposed for all to see; let it absorb his chakra and kill him if it felt like it. He was more than ready to die right now.

He had even had half a mind to not wear his mask, just so that everybody could see the pain he was going through. But Iruka had once said that he liked the mask. So Kakashi kept it.

Kurenai came up next, biting her lip as she whispered, "Kakashi, I'm so sorr—"

He turned, glaring at her with both eyes. "Don't." The red-eyed kunoichi stiffened at his look, and seemed for an instant determined to continue until Asuma turned to her, slowly shaking his head. She retreated, and Kakashi continued on.

He passed Kotetsu, and Izumo, and Shizune, and Genma, and Gai who, for the first time in his life, could find no words to say. He did not look at any of them as he walked by, clutching the single red rose so tightly that the thorns dug into his fingers, drawing blood.

He passed the academy students. Most of them were sniffling; some were downright bawling. Kakashi turned to the nearest wailing child. "Don't do that," he said, voice emotionless. "Iruka hated it when you guys cried." The child, a young boy who could not have been more than seven or eight, hiccuped and swiped stubbornly at his eyes. Kakashi kept walking.

He passed Tsunade, and sent her a challenging look before she could even open her mouth to speak. Instantly she straightened and took a step back, allowing him plenty of room to pass. She may have been the leader of the entire village, but he had the authority here.

Finally he was before the altar, and for a long moment he only stood there, looking down at the single framed image sitting atop it, and remembered.

The cold feeling hit even before it happened, and Kakashi had dropped his book and was halfway out of his seat when the knock sounded on the door.

He was there in an instant, deactivating the wards and traps in a flash before he threw the door open to an astonished Genma and Raidou, the long-haired jounin's fist still raised in mid-knock.

Kakashi wasted no time. "What happened?"

Genma blinked, taking a moment to suppress his surprise (and instinct to draw a kunai) at Kakashi's sudden appearance before finally speaking. "We thought you'd want to be the first to know—"

"Well?" Kakashi interrupted, voice impatient. "What is it?"

Raidou stepped up. "Kakashi-san, Iruka-sensei has—" He did not have time to finish because Kakashi was already gone, leaping over rooftops, headed straight for the gates of the village. Quickly the other two jounin turned and gave chase.

Kakashi did not bother covering his tracks as he entered the forest; he knew Genma and Raidou were behind him. Instead, he focused on locating Iruka's chakra signature; over the year or so that they had been lovers, he had gradually memorized the exact way the chuunin's chakra flowed and fluctuated, and was able to locate it within seconds. Instantly he switched course and headed off in the direction of its origin.

He knew even before he reached his destination that something was horribly wrong. Iruka's chakra signature was weak, even though he was only a couple of miles away. It was also getting rapidly fainter, which meant that the chuunin was either badly injured, or already…

No, Kakashi thought to himself, shaking his head vigorously as he launched himself off from yet another tree. Get a grip, Kakashi, he's not dead, Iruka is perfectly fine, he is not dead—

He noticed the subtle signs first: a cracked tree limb here, a kunai slash mark there. Then, as he got closer and closer, there were the broken trees, the charred branches, the occasional splashes of blood.

He could sense other chakra presences now, and none of them held malice. That was good; it meant that the ANBU were there and were taking care of Iruka. The chuunin would be fine.

The clearing suddenly opened up before him and he landed lightly on the ground, quickly surveying the area. All the ANBU present—there were six in all—turned upon his entrance, but Kakashi ignored them as he noted three bodies lying amidst the debris, none of which he recognized. He felt slightly relieved at this; Iruka had been sent on the mission as part of a four-man team, which meant that he could still be alive.

He spun quickly and immediately noticed a fourth body lying against a nearby tree. The tree's shadow made it too dark for him to distinguish whether or not it was Iruka, and so Kakashi leaped forward, intent on getting to him—

He suddenly found his path blocked by all six ANBU. Their leader slowly shook his head. "We're sorry, Kakashi-san," he said, "But we can't let you near him."

Kakashi did not have time for these games; he needed to get to Iruka, the chuunin could be seriously hurt—

"Get out of my way," he growled, leaping up, but instantly the ANBU surged forward, grabbing him and restraining him even as he yelled and fought against them.

"Bastards—let me go, you sons of—get off!" He landed a good kick that sent one of the ANBU sailing into a nearby tree, then punched a second and a third. Feeling the weight on him lightening, he pressed forward, dragging the remaining three ninja with him as he slowly approached the motionless body.

He saw the blood, but that was all right—even light injuries bled sometimes. He saw the three kunai embedded in Iruka's chest, but that was okay too—he would be fine as long as none of his vital organs had been hit. He saw the twisted ankle and the broken arm, but those injuries could easily be treated at the hospital. Iruka was all right; he would be fine, he would be—

And then he saw the face. And how both eyes were open, staring blankly at him, with no light, no expression.

Eyes that were utterly lifeless.

Iruka was dead Umino Iruka was dead his lover was—

Had he possessed the ability to think coherently at the moment, Kakashi would not have believed that the horrified scream that echoed through the forest was coming out of his own mouth. In the next instant he was struggling frantically against the ANBU, managing to throw another one off as he screamed, "Tsunade—get Tsunade, you bastards, he's dying—someone get Tsunade please—"

Then two more pairs of arms wrapped firmly around him, dragging him slowly back from the terrifying scene before him as Genma's voice shouted in his ear, "Kakashi-san, calm down! You have to—"

"No—get off me, damnit—you fucks! Get Tsunade, you bastards, Iruka's fucking dying—"

"Kakashi-san!" Raidou cried, keeping a tight hold on both of Kakashi's arms. "We can't do anything anymore—"

"Of course we can! Tsunade can fix this, she can save him, damnit—let go of me—bastards, let go!"

The ANBU he had previously gotten rid of now descended upon him once again so that Iruka's body grew more and more distant as Kakashi was dragged further and further away, still struggling furiously. He was hardly aware of the tears streaming down his face, or the fact that every breath he took was short and hitched. He knew only one thing at the moment: he had to save his lover.

"Get Tsunade, you—" And then he felt an impact on a pressure point at the back of his neck, and instantly sank into darkness.

"Will he be all right?" Kurenai.

"He's running a high fever, but otherwise he's fine. Physically, that is. Emotionally, he's a wreck." Tsunade.

"This shouldn't have happened." Asuma. "It was a simple reconnaissance mission—"

"They should have reported back the instant they picked up Itachi and Kisame's trail." Tsunade. "They shouldn't have gone to face them on their own."

Asuma. A sigh. "I'm afraid for Kakashi. He really loved Iruka—I'm not even sure if he'll be able to function properly after this."

"We'll just have to give him some room." Kurenai. "He needs to get through this on his own."

A pause. "It's ironic, isn't it?" Asuma. "We all warned him against it because we all thought that since he was the jounin, he would die first, and Iruka would be the one left alone. And now look at what happ—"

"Shh." Kurenai. "Don't say that in front of him."

"But he's sleeping." Asuma.

"Kurenai's right," Tsunade. "Kakashi may be asleep, but he can still hear you." Another pause. "Let's go. We're making too much noise anyway."

As the footsteps retreated, Kakashi shivered and squeezed his eyes even more tightly shut, feeling the hot tears gathering once again.

Very slowly, Kakashi leaned forward and placed the rose before Iruka's framed photograph so that the frail petals barely brushed the clear glass. Then, without a word, he straightened and walked back to stand beside Tsunade, closing his eyes and allowing the tears to trickle soundlessly down his face.

All my love, Iruka. Wherever you are.

And the funeral continued.

FINI

Parting words: Not as angsty as I would have liked, but still sufficient. Any comments are greatly appreciated.