Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don't look or feel your best:
Beca's POV.
There is not much to do at 3am in the morning. Especially not when you are all alone in you and your girlfriend's apartment and your thoughts are keeping you awake. There is not much that can distract you from those thoughts. You can turn on the TV and hope that there is something worth watching on, but you know you will be disappointed.
There is definitely not much to do when you are too scared to call a friend, afraid you will be a burden. The same counts for your girlfriend of 2 years. Even though you have been together for so long you are afraid you will seem clingy and needy. Even when she has explained to you countless times that you could never be a burden to her. She is working late at her part time waitress job, and you really do not want to bother her.
There is even less to do when your laptop is out of power and you cannot find the charger. You cannot browse through twitter or Facebook, connecting with other restless souls. You cannot do it on your phone because you know that if you pick it up, you will end up calling your girlfriend. Or you might text your friends, and they will forever remember you as the weak one who could not sleep because her mind was screwed up.
At least that is what you think. And as you are sitting there all alone, you are also starting to wonder why she is with you in the first place. You already know why you are with her. She is funny, caring and beautiful. She is indescribable. And you are you. She's making a name for herself while all you're doing is working as a bartender at LA's lousiest bar.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud knocking coming from across the room. You stand up and sigh, a hand running through your tangled locks. You wonder who it could be, and a picture of you being stabbed suddenly invades your mind. It is LA after all. All kinds of people walk around at night.
"Who's there?"
You yell it out, not expecting an answer. The knocking has stopped. So you are a little surprised when a soft voice sounds from the other side.
"It's me, baby."
Her voice is comforting. It feels like safety, even when it is muffled by a thick, wooden door. You hear slight panic in her voice. It concerns you, and you hurry to let her in. She throws herself in your arms, wrapping her arms tightly around your neck. You tug her head under your chin and inhale the sweet smell of her shampoo. She smells like strawberries.
"What are you doing here?"
You find yourself asking. She removes her head from your chest and looks at you with those big hazel eyes that makes your heart ache with love. You feel your breath catch in your throat when she places a soft, almost undetectable kiss to your jawline. Then she is looking at you again. And once again you drown in the undeniable love in her eyes.
"Baby?"
You shake your head, coming out of your daze. You raise your eyebrows at her in question. She must have said something that you missed. Which was a shame, since there is nothing you love more than listening to her voice. Her smooth, slightly raspy voice. It's like warm honey on a cold winter night. It is like a soft caress, or a warm embrace.
"You didn't answer my texts. I got worried."
She said it with such concern in her voice that your eyes almost water. She strokes your cheek with the the tip of her fingers, her touch lighting a spark between you, even after all that time. You never expected to be with someone for more than a couple of months. You have never before thought you wanted that consistency, that feeling of having found permanent safety with another human being.
"I had my phone turned off."
You lie too easily. And of course it is not missed by her sharp eyes. She frowns and steps back from you. Your arms fall limply to your side and you look nervously at the ground. You are scared of what she will say next. You are scared she will leave, because in the back of your mind there is something saying that this could never last.
"What's wrong baby?"
She asks so sweetly that it almost hurts. You feel the tears on your cheeks before you can stop it, and she steps closer to you. Even though she is quite the bit taller than you she manages to have you rest your head on her shoulder. It is comfortable. It is safe. It is home. Her long arms wrap tightly around you, supporting you. You feel like you might fall over, so overwhelmed by the love she is once more showing.
"I don't know."
You reply honestly. Because you do not know. Sometimes your mind just decides that it is time to make you feel like shit.
"Let's sit down."
She says. She leads you to your couch and sits down, pulling you into her lap. She places gentle kisses to your hair and you allow a content sigh to escape your lips. A question is burning on your tongue, but you know that you might hurt her by asking. It is what you have been asking yourself all night. It is what has been filling your heads with doubts and insecurities. With one look in her eyes you decide it's time.
"Why are you with me?"
You feel her freeze beneath you for a brief moment, before she resumes kissing your hair. Her hand grabs yours and her other hand rubs soothing circles on your back. You have had this conversation before. So many times. By now you know her answer by heart, but it always seems to fade to the back of your mind when the question pops to the front.
"Because you're amazing love. You're sweet and you're funny. You're stunningly beautiful in every way. Inside and out. And because you accept my flaws, the way I accept yours. You don't care if I make a mistake, you love me anyways. You don't care if I remember our anniversaries or if I come home late from work. You support me. But yet you challenge me. You make me feel needed, and you make me feel beautiful. I need you. And I love you more than I can say."
When she finishes, there is tears in your eyes. She wipes them away with a gentle swipe of her thumb. When she says those things to you, you believe her. Because you can hear the sincerity in her voice. You can hear the love. And that makes you feel accepted in every possible way. It makes you feel like you have finally found something that you want in your life, till the very end.