AN: So the song 'How to Write a Love Song' popped up on my Pandora the other night and I couldn't help but laugh and think 'this would be hysterical if it was some FMA characters singing it'. So after many repeats on YouTube to get the style translated into paper I present How to Write a Love Song FMA style!
I highly recommend you go on YouTube and search 'How to Write a Love Song' by the Axis of Awesome before reading this. You won't get the full effect of the story if you don't have some familiarity with the source content.
In order to make things easier to read and to lessen the amount of "he said" or "he sang" I'm going to code the lyrics with different font styles for each singer.
Bold Will be Ed, singing the lines Benny does in the music video (Short blonde singer)
Italic Will is Al, singing the lines from Jordan. (Bearded guy with Triforce Tattoo)
Underline Will be Roy, singing the lines from Lee. (Tall guy that says like 5 things total in the video)
Any combination will be multiple people singing the same lines.
…
"I can't believe we're actually going to enter this stupid talent show Fullmetal." Roy sighed rolling his eyes as they practiced their song for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Hey you agreed to it Colonel, plus don't you want to see the look on Lieutenant Hawkeyes face when you impress everyone with your amazing singing skills?" Ed chimed in with heavy sarcasm in his voice.
Roy rolled his eyes; there was no way he was getting out of this now.
…
Three days later the annual military talent show in Central started up with everyone either in attendance, preforming, or better yet both. Major Armstrong flexed at the crowd for a good five minutes, Lieutenant Hawkeye performed some high skill trick shots with her pistols, and Jean Havoc even got up on stage to see how many cigarettes he could light in a three minute span. He was booed off the stage.
Ed and Al were pacing back and forth in the back room before their time on stage both being consoled and having confidence boosted by Winry and May Chang.
"It'll be alright Alphonse!" May chimed in "I'm sure you guys will do great!"
"Thanks May, I just hope we don't turn into the laughing stock of Central with this, the closer we get to starting the more I worry that we got too goofy with the lyrics. Right brother?" Al turned to his older and now taller brother.
"Ah It'll be fine Al, we saved the world what's a little song going to do to us? It's good to unwind every once in a while." This answer was very uncharacteristic for Ed but much appreciated by the younger Elric brother.
"Speaking of unwinding." Winry mentioned "Is Roy still at the bar getting lit?"
"Yeah, he has been fighting us on this for months now. I just hope he gets enough confidence juice in him or Riza talks some sense into him. He has the most important part of this song." Ed said looking around for any sign of the Flame Alchemist, and almost on cue he burst through the back door his cheeks tinted a slight pink, everyone knew he was feeling good enough to perform at that moment.
"I managed to get him away from the hard stuff but he managed to down a few beers before I could pull him away for good." Riza addressed the group of them "But he's here and you guys are starting soon, break a leg out there guys!" She waved good bye to the 3 boys but not before giving a sly wink to the colonel.
"We should be getting our seats as well, Good luck guys!" Winry said as she and May left the back room as well. All three girls were eager to see how this would play out as none of them were allowed to see the boys practice the song, it was a surprise for everyone.
…
"And now ladies and gentleman, I give you Ed, Al, and Colonel Mustang performing their song 'How to Write a Love song!" Major Armstrong announced to the crowd in his booming voice drawing cheers from the three girls who just sat down.
Music started pouring in from the speakers.
Steel string guitars.
Chimes
Synthetic Percussion
Baby Girl
I wanna show you how much I really love you
How much I really love you
Baby girl
That's why I call you to show you that my love for you is true
Baby girl
My love is so great so I wrote you this song
And to show you how much I really care it sounds like every other one. The crowd chuckled at this bit, so far at least the three close friends of the singers seemed to be enjoying themselves.
"I didn't know Ed was such a good singer Winry." May whispered into her ear. Neither did Winry who was actually starting to turn a light shade of pink.
The beat kicks in and then I sing a bit more rhythmically, to make it sensual I sing it in a minor key.
I move my hands like I'm pushing someone in front of me.
Get out of my way. Both boys made dramatic sweeping motions with their hands, drawing cheers from the crowd.
And that's the first verse and now we're going to take it to the bridge.
I say something bout' how I don't wanna Break up, then I turn around and rhyme it with makeup. I tell you that we should be together. How long? Forever. That long. And Ever. So long.
Girl you're always in my heart. Al looked May Chang right in the eyes with this line. In my heart. And I never wanna be apart. Never be apart. Honey you'll always be mine. Baby be mine. Baby girl its chorus time! By this point the crowd knew this was for real and not the three of them just goofing off, they put some serious time and effort into this bit, even if Roy was just standing around in the back not doing much of anything.
This is how you write a love song. Yeah this is how you write a clichéd love song. This is how you write a love song. Yeah a shitty shitty crummy love song.
Ed and Al got right up to the front of the stage for this next bit, causing Winry and May to sit on the edge of their seats. Riza was still wondering why Roy was just standing in the back.
This is my backup and he sings quite breathily. Breathily. He takes the words I say and sings them after me. Sings them after me. He emphasizes words and sings emphatically. I SING emphatically. Now listen to us sing in a capella harmony.
Now we're back at the bridge, I haven't written anything for this so I'm go-o-o-o-ing to stret-c-h-h-h ou-t-t-t the word-s-s-s-s-s. Repeating everything I say. Till I get. Till I get. Till I get. Till I get. Till I get. Till I get. Yeah till I get back to the chorus!
By this point people were standing up and dancing with the music, Winry and May were having a grand time dancing with each other and swooning over their respective love interests even if they were making fun of traditional love songs. It was just nice to see the two boys in a much softer light. Riza was still puzzled about Roy.
This is how you write a love song. Yeah a shitty shitty shitty shitty love song. And to show you I care I throw my hands in the air, now cut the music while I sing a long note-e-e-e-e-e. With that all three guys threw their hands up to the ceiling and the lights on stage dimmed. One light at center stage turned on and Roy walked forward. Riza perked up at this turn of events. He looked Riza dead on the whole time he sang his part, either out of stage fright or just wanting to see a familiar face in the crowd.
Hey girl, I've been standing in the back not doing much for this song well that's because my talents are quite limited. But that don't mean that I love you any less, in fact, it means the opposite.
Ed poked his head into the spotlight I'm just showing off my voice!
It's just that it's so hard for me to find the words to express the way that I feel about you girl especially when I have to worry about fitting those words to music and theirs some kind of rhyme structure involved.
Meaningless whisper.
I know its lazy song writing, but I don't care because I sleep on a big pile of money at night. The crowd booed at this bit, most far under ranking the colonel and thus making less money.
Girl you might think that it's weird girl that theirs three guys singing about one girl. Girl. But let me tell you something it's not weird at all, in fact it's an industry standard. And it happens all the time.
Happens all the time.
Well girl I better wrap this up about now because I'm about to get cut off by- Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh. Ed sang as he pushed Roy back out of the spotlight, the normal lights came on and the crowd started clapping after the little solo run by Roy who was now in the back grinning from ear to ear.
Riza looked over at Winry "He is enjoying this far more then he lets on!" "I think they all are!" Winry yelled back, the noise in the auditorium was getting much louder now.
Baby I wrote you a love song. It wasn't hard and it really didn't take long. A totally generic love song. Yeah really this could be about anyone. But it's for you; yeah this is your love song. Non-specific girl.
To let you know that we take it seriously, now watch as we change the key!
When you change the key in a love song, it means you sing it passionately. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh. But we still haven't reached the end. Ed ended up taking a big breath before this next part, everyone knew it was coming but could the boy hit the high note?
No because we're going to change the key again! The crowd lost it at this point; no one knew the Fullmetal Alchemist had such a good singing voice.
Look at me I'm singing a love song. Yeah anyone could sing a shitty love song. Our love is so unique, that I copied every other shitty love song. Yeahhhhhhh!
Girl.
The music cut out and everyone started cheering and clapping for the trio of boys, no one expected a sarcastic, witty, and well performed love song satire from the heroes of Amestris. The three of them took a quick bow and made their way off stage. The three girls quickly going around the side entrance and joining them.
"That was amazing Ed!" Winry pulled him into a big hug. "I had no idea you had such a voice!"
"Yeah Alphonse you were amazing as well!" May had been clinging onto the younger Elric brother since she got back stage. Winry smiled at them inwardly thinking they would make a cute couple.
"Where did Roy go brother?" Al asked. "Beats me, he probably went into the bathroom to hurl his brains out after all the booze he hammered down tonight."
"Actually Riza is missing as well, they must have gone off somewhere to have a private moment." Winry stated, everyone knew those two were an item even if they were too thick to admit it to themselves.
"Speaking of private moments." Ed whispered to Winry "Mind joining me outside for a sec?"
"Sure Ed." He then grabbed her hand and started walking her outside, the pink color returning to her cheeks.
"So what did you want to talk about Ed?" Winry asked a puzzled look on her face.
"Well I wanted to let you know that I'm planning on staying in Amestris, the military needs my help with some research in the country so my trip to research with Al will have to wait for a few more years."
"So, you're staying? You mean I'll actually get to see you for more than a week at a time?" The waterworks were about to start, she could feel it.
"Yeah, I already got permission to work out of Resembool if you and Granny don't mind me hanging around all the time." He smiled sheepishly at that last bit.
"Edward Elric you really are amazing, you blow my mind with your voice tonight and now you're saying you'll actually stay with me for an extended period of time? This night really is turning into the best night of my life." She sniffed; the tears were right on the edge now. "You can stay, on one condition though."
"Oh? And what might that be ?" he asked.
"Sing to me more often." The tears started falling now.
Ed pulled her into a warm embrace and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Deal."
…
"That was really impressive today sir." Riza commented to Mustang, the two of them were lying under a big tree growing behind the auditorium. "I especially liked how off key you were the whole time." She said with a sly smile, very out of character for her but she figured the colonel wouldn't remember this conversation until morning.
"Ha-ha very funny Lieutenant. I'm still not sure how those two talked me into doing this, I'm sure there was some alcohol involved just like tonight." He started rubbing his temples. "My head is going to hurt tomorrow that's for sure."
"Well at least we all get the day off." She said scooting closer to the inebriated Colonel, she figured tonight of all nights was as good as any to get closer to the normally stonewalled man. "We should go do something if you are feeling up to it, sir."
Roy threw an arm around the girl causing her to blush. "I'd like that very much Lieute…" he caught himself. "Riza." She smiled and settled into his embrace. Even if he didn't remember a damn thing when morning rolled around she could savor this little moment while it lasted.
…
*Snap*
"Yes!" Al raised a fist into the air. "Now those two idiots won't be able to deny their feelings later!"
"Alphonse is that blackmail?" May asked him
"Only if I used it to get stuff out of them, I only wanted the picture so they will stop being so dense about their feelings for once. At least my bone headed brother finally figured out how to talk with Winry after all these years of her dropping hints." He smiled, proud of his work.
"Hey Alphonse…." May trailed off scuffing her feet on the ground.
"Hmmm?"
"Do you think we could ever been like Mr. Mustang and Miss. Riza? Or your brother and Winry?" It was obvious the young girl had fallen hard for the younger Elric brother.
Al chuckled "Maybe May, but you're a little young to be thinking about love right now don't you think?" The look of devastation on her face said more than 1000 words could, and Al knew it. "But hey, keep drinking your milk and when you get even bigger and stronger who knows what could happen." With that he picked her up and pulled her into a big bear hug. "Ask nicely and I might even wait for you to grow up." He smiled as he poked her nose with an outstretched finger.
She smiled. "Alphonse, will you wait for me and be my knight in shining armor?" She smiled hopefully.
"Yeah May, I think I will!" He smiled back.
That was more than good enough for the young girl.
AN: Wow, got a little fluffy there at the end but all in all I'm happy with it. I might go back and revise how the song part went a little later if I get some better ideas on how to format it but for now I think I'll leave it as is. Please R&R (No flames :p)!
Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, YouTube, Pandora, or the song 'How to Write a Love Song' by the Axis of Awesome.