Lots of stuff was going on for me when the Second SasoDei month was going on, resulting in little writing being accomplished. I've skimmed through some of the prompts, and decided to write a few one-shots on the ones I decided would be the best.
I'm afraid they won't be very long, as I've still got quite a lot of shizzle going on. ^^" Sorry about that.
"I preferably asked for him to be shorter than me."
The ginger male narrowed his eyes, looking up at the small red-head from his desk. "Sasori, this is an evil organisation, not a dating website. I can't ignore a powerful ninja, just because he's taller than you." The red-head's expression turned into more of a scowl, and Pein even considered shooing the puppet outside with his broom.
"Do you know how ridiculous I feel?" Sasori seethed, stepping forward. "I am that boy's elder, he should be looking up to me!"
"Then buy a pair of stilts."
The puppeteer simply growled in reply to the pierced man's remark, noting that summoning the Third Kazekage on your boss wouldn't be the best idea. "Besides..." The man continued, a light smirk graced across his features. "Maybe you two could get along? After all, I heard he's an artist too."
"What do you mean you heard?" The red-head snapped. "Of course you heard! Everyone in the fucking base heard, the brat wouldn't stop ranting on about his fleeting gayness."
"I believe it was fleeting beauty, actually." The ginger commented, crossing his cloaked arms.
Letting out a sigh, Sasori stepped back slightly, pondering on what to say next. Would the red-head have to put up with the blonde bomber? Or would he simply decapitate him and turn him into art? The latter sounded most appealing, however staining the white carpet with blood wouldn't be too much of a genius idea, especially after the 32 times it had already been replaced. They really needed to get laminate.
"I would like to sue Deidara."
"Sasori, that's ridiculous." Pein sighed, covering his pierced face with his hands. After a few seconds, the man looked up again, realizing that the red-head was still in the center of the room. "Though I'm curious. What do you want to sue the kid for?" He continued, quirking an eyebrow.
"Sexual harassment."
Words could not describe the amount of images which were currently travelling through the ginger's mind at that very moment. Another case of sexual harassment? Orochimaru hadn't left the Akatsuki that long ago, and Pein honestly thought that would put a final stop to the amount of cases of harassment in the organisation.
"Go on." The man demanded, staring at the red-head with a blank expression.
"He stares at me far too often. And he always demands to see my 'insides' as well as what's 'underneath that shell'." Was the red-head's plain reply.
"...Sasori, have you ever thought that maybe he was talking about the fact that you're always sitting in a dead corpse?"
"...I don't think that's necessary to take into consideration, sir. It clearly has nothing to do with Hiruk-
"Are there any other "cases"? Preferably some that actually classify as sexual harassment, please."
"Far too many, sir, far too many..." The red-head mumbled, looking around the room, before pausing for a moment. "He has these nicknames for me." Sasori eventually stated, staring at the leader. "Nicknames that can only be classified as filth, sir. Nicknames far too sinister to actually be spoke-
"What are they?"
"Danna."
Attempting to hide a smirk, Pein covered his mouth with his sleeve, staring at Sasori with a look of anything but belief. "Sasori, you're being utterly ridiculous."
"Sir, all I'm saying is that he's suspicious. I don't even think he's a natural blonde! What else do we know he could be hiding? He was talking to himself about hairspray the other day, how do we know that's not some sort of secret code? He could be a spy."
"Saso-
"And that hair! What does he think he's trying to pull off? The world's next top transvestite? He looks like road-kill. And his eyeliner's never straight. And the whole "un" thing! What, does he think that's cute or something? What is he, some kind of teenage girl?"
"Well he is sixtee-
"And his art! You know I hate modern art! You know!"
"Yes, Sasori, I do recall last year's Christmas speec-
"Yet you still demand him to join! He's probably the gayest thing to ever walk the planet, he's the biggest homo out there!"
"...Sasori." The man stated. "You make sure your hair looks fluffier than a rabbit's tail. Your eyelashes are longer than my pen-
"You're disgusting!"
"My pencil, you disturbed little boy." Pein sweatdropped. "All I'm saying is that you're being a hypocrite. You're accusing him of not having natural hair, yet yours is bright red. People would immediately assume that you're the one with the unnatural hair. Also, he actually brushes his hair. You look like you've just stepped out of a tornado half the time. Finally, your art." The man sighed. "Sasori, you complain that he blows up clay, yet you dissect people and stuff them with weapons."
"...Your point is, sir?"
"I demand that you either get used to Deidara, or find somewhere else to commit crime."
"Well, I'll start packi-
"Though I'd also like to add that even if you attempt to leave the Akatsuki, you will be killed."
"-ng to move Deidara into my room!" The red-head grinned sheepishly, mentally punishing himself. Smirking, the ginger folded his fingers, staring at the puppeteer with a sinister smile.
"Good boy."
The new brat was indeed a pain. In fact, the only positive thing Sasori could think of was the fact that he had a very nice ass.
A very nice ass indeed.