Weakness In Me

Chapter One: You'll Never Be Alone

By

Silksteel

Hooves thudded onto the powdery snow a mere handswidth either side of the man's head. Peachblossom snorted his disdain as Kel's glaive swung around to pin him facedown with the blade.

'Yield,' she said calmly, holding the heavy weapon very still so the blue-tempered steel did not come in contact with the exposed skin of the man's neck.

To Kel's surprise, he laughed and, in a voice that was achingly familiar, said, 'Now, Lady Knight, is that any way to treat your friends?'

Aware that it could be a trick, she cautiously called Peachblossom away and dismounted, holding her glaive ready for combat. With the toe of her boot she nudged the man's arm to encourage him to turn over.

When he did so, Kel found herself staring down into vivid green eyes, lit up with cynical amusement. But for his eyes, Neal was unrecognisable through the mud and bruising that marred his face. She reached out a hand and pulled him to his feet, scrutinising him for any sign that he was not as he seemed.

'You took your time, Kel.' he remarked, brushing the snow from his shirtfront.

If it were not for nine years of rigorous training, Kel would dropped her weapon right then and thrown herself into his arms. As it was, she carefully strapped it back onto Peachblossom, ensuring it was secure before she turned and pulled Neal into a tight embrace, burying her face in his shoulder.

A hand came up to stroke her hair before Neal cupped her face, looking down at her intently, 'You're not going to turn all girly on me, are you?' he asked teasingly, but his tone did nothing to erase the worry from her eyes.

'Neal, are you -'

'I'm fine, Mother.' he met her gaze levelly, letting his hand drop. 'Really,'

At last she nodded and stepped away, suddenly uncomfortable with their proximity. Since Kel had been isolated from those she loved for the past few months, out in the wilderness of Scanra searching for Neal, she had become accustomed to being alone. One of the sparrows perched on Peachblossom's mane chirped, bringing the Knight crashing back down to earth.

'We should get moving,' she said quietly, looking around the small clearing as if she expected to see Scanran bandits appear from between the trees. When she turned her gaze back to Neal, Kel found him watching her, a look of puzzlement on his face.

'Where is your company?'

For a moment, Kel was silent. That was all it took. Neal threw his hands up in despair, 'Another solo mission! Does anyone know you're here?'

'Apart from Yuki, no. She smuggled maps out of Lord Wyldon's office at Steadfast,' gripping Peachblossom's reins, Kel turned him East, away from the setting sun, and began to lead him into the forest.

Neal hurried to catch up, 'What about the others? Lord Raoul and Dom? They didn't let you come out here on your own?'

'Of course not.'

'So where are they?' Neal was beginning to get exasperated with Kel's uncooperative attitude. Getting information from her was like trying to draw blood from a stone.

Abruptly she halted, and Neal just about fell over trying not to crash into her. When she looked at him, he couldn't place the expression in her eyes - the only part of her face that the Yamani mask did not cover.

'They are in Corus attending your funeral.'

* * *

At nightfall they were forced to stop and make camp. The darkness fell earlier in the frozen North and Kel was unwilling to waste any of her precious store of torches.

Neal coaxed a small fire to life with the help of his Gift which, Kel noticed, was much weaker than usual. She wondered what kind of injuries would have drained him in such a way, but kept her questions to herself as she erected the tent and fed her animal companions. Only two sparrows - Nari and Arrow - as well as Peachblossom had accompanied her to Scanra on what even Kel herself had damned as a fool's errand.

Soon, the smell of roasting meat tempted her to perch on the fallen log next to her friend. She shot a sideways glance at Neal as he carefully turned the skewers of boar, seemingly intent on his task.

Suddenly, he turned to her, grinning, 'Do you mean to tell me, Lady Keladry, that I've even managed to miss my own funeral?'

The tense silence that had reined for the past two hours shattered under Kel's laughter. She wasn't entirely sure whether it was relief or hysteria, but nor did she care as she buried her face in her hands to muffle the sound.

Neal waited until she had recovered to ask the question that had been preying on his mind the most since his escape from his Scanran captors, 'Kel, did you find the guards?'

Immediately, she sobered, her mask falling into place once more as she nodded. 'We recovered their bodies along the main highway, leading a trail from Fief Rathhausak.'

What Kel neglected to tell him was that the trail was comprised of the disembodied parts - organs and limbs - of the five guards that were accompanying Kel and Neal to Steadfast.

'That's why no one else is here, isn't it?' he looked aghast the barbarianism that characterised Maggur Rathhausak's rule over Scanra. 'They weren't willing to risk the lives of their warriors to recover one lost Knight,' there was a pause, and Neal gripped her arm hard enough to bruise. 'Please tell me the King did not issue a direct order forbidding any of you to try finding me,'

Kel bowed her head.

He swore, letting go of her hand and rising to pace the camp. 'Twice in the same year! Are you insane, Kel? Disobeying a direct order is serious! If you only lose your shield it will be a miracle. Don't you care?'

The pounding inside her head increased with every word. Finally, she stood and faced him, quiet anger surging through her. 'No, I don't. If being a Knight means that I have to stay cooped up in the Palace attending every pointless ball the King can find an excuse to have, whilst my best friend is in the clutches of a Scanran Warlord...well, maybe I don't want to be a Knight. At least now, I can take my place on Traitor's Hill knowing that what I did was right.'

Neal swallowed hard, 'By the Goddess, Kel.' he murmured, slumping back down onto the forest floor. 'What do we do now?'

* * *

Their meal was a subdued affair. Although Kel had bought supplies from some of the Scanran villages she had encountered on search for Neal, all that remained were a few stale oatcakes and some trail mix; most of which went to feed Nari and Arrow.

Kel went to make up the pallet they would have to share in her tent, whilst Neal washed away the grime from his journey in a nearby stream. When he returned, shirt and tunic in a damp bundle, she got a clear look at the ravages his captivity had bestowed upon him. While there was no evidence of starvation, there were quite a few bruises mottling Neal's pale skin which Kel winced at. He smiled ruefully.

'It would have taken to much energy to heal them.' he offered by way of an explanation.

She nodded, then remembering something, indicated that he should take a seat once he was finished hanging his clothing up to dry. Rummaging through her saddle bags, Kel quickly found the jar of bruise balm that she always brought with her.

'It'll stop the sting at least,'

'Would you mind?' he asked tentatively, when Kel offered the pot to him. She raised her eyebrows but said nothing, instead concentrating on not hurting him any more than necessary. Still, she felt him flinch at the touch of her fingers on his back which bore the markings of a whip and, apologising profusely, tried to keep the anger from her face.

There was no reason for this; none at all. If the Tortallan court had captured an enemy - whether a noble or commoner - this kind of petty cruelty would never have been allowed to take place.

Kel blinked as Neal snapped his fingers in front of her eyes.

'What?'

'You've been staring into space for the last five minutes. I asked if you wanted to turn in,'

'Oh. Um...yes, we'd better.' she looked at the tent which suddenly seemed far too small. It occurred to her that perhaps she should let Neal have the tent and spend the night outside herself. The very thought, Kel knew, was ludicrous. Even if Neal did agree to that - which he wouldn't - Kel wasn't sure if she'd be able to survive a night in the snow.

Resigned, the Lady Knight ducked under the tent flap to join her friend who was already stretched out underneath a pile of furs on the pallet. Discarding her boots, Kel edged under the covers on the other side and turned so they lay back to back. She couldn't help but sigh with pleasure as she warmed up for the first time in weeks, unconsciously shifting closer to Neal until they were nearly touching. Closing her eyes, Kel felt the tension drain from her body: she'd accomplished what she set out to do; everything else could wait until she and Neal were safely back in Tortall.

Author's Note: This marks the end of my one year hiatus. It's going to be K/N, but hopefully a bit more realistic than my last attempt which was Warrior Soul. Please review and I may continue if you think it's worth it.