I do not own Hetalia or the characters. I do not own Alice in Wonderland. I do not own Snow White.

Summary: The red and white queen of Wonderland are at war again when the red queen finds out there is a girl, Rio in the human world who is fairer than her and the white queen's creation to oppose her. She asks her husband, a pirate, Arthur Clarkland to go to the human world to kill the girl. Rio, however, is brought to safety in Wonderland by Arthur Clarkland's doppelganger. Arthur Clarkland is once again asked to kill Rio while she is a fugitive in Wonderland, hidden and trained by the doppelganger magician, the white queen and the Axis clan of cats to defeat the red queen.

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Rio Juarez Carriedo was a Portuguese, parentless, lifeless, clueless twenty-three-year-old woman working as a historian dash writer in the city of London. She regretted her life decisions and definitely her interest in British history and her belief in magic. While she was diving her head in a book as thick as a gold bar, her friends were out celebrating, celebrating their graduation from Arts school. There was so much to do in the city of London, but she was stuck in her hideous apartment trying to get inspiration for her Mont Blanc pen during weekends and stuck in her bookstore selling unsellable copies of her history books on weekdays.

Although Rio didn't have much of a life, she did have much of a beauty. Despite growing up in a beach-seasoned country, her skin was fair not tan and men would whistle at her lustfully whenever she walked past in her short skirts or tights. She had received many opportunities in high school and university to participate in beauty pageants, contests that would make her famous, but being young and stupid then, she turned them down. And here she was, in an unknown store on an unknown street in London daydreaming about making it to showbiz.

Rio did get a slight glimpse of the stage, though. She wrote plays and scripts, but those were for elementary school drama clubs. Some of them were even turned down by the schools for lacking inspiration. She hated the outdoors, explaining her unusually fair skin, so she'd rather stay indoors and get inspiration on her own. Her current dream was to get an official role in showbiz, or work in the White Tower that has failed to notice her unbelievable knowledge of history.

An eventful evening when Rio was about to close her store and get ready to stone for the weekend, an Englishman walked into the store. She barely noticed him as he was looking around. Why would she, when she barely had customers?

"Sorry, we're closing." Rio said nonchalantly, too clueless to notice it was her rare chance to earn something.

"Oh, I'm looking for Miss Rio Juarez Carriedo."

Rio jerked her head up to see a typical blonde Englishman who looked as young as her. "Yes?"

He gently reached into his jacket and passed me a name card. Rio almost fainted when she saw his profession. He was a playwright. "Wh-what can I do for you?"

"I'm writing a play, but I'll need historical reference and I hear you're quite experienced in that. Why don't we sit down for a cup of tea?"

"Y-Yes." She led him into upstairs to her apartment, where she realized how uncreative the interior was. How could she fail to notice the dull grey carpets that was supposed to be her floor, the white walls, the black and white furniture and the overly spacious spaces. "Have a seat, Mr, um, Kirkland."

"Thanks, love. You seem to be a fan of simplicity."

She giggled and poured the man a cup of tea as she sat down next to him, fidgeting and incessantly repositioning herself to look like someone with a life. "So, what is this play about?"

"Anything to do with magic."

"Oh my gosh, I don't think I can do that."

"Why not? Fantasy, magical creatures, myths, aren't they the best subjects for creative writing?"

"Um, well-"

"That's it then! I'll be coming back for your script on Monday. So long then, Rio."

"What? Wait!" All of the sudden, the man slipped out of Rio's sight without a sound. Was she pouring tea for a hallucination? She needed a therapist badly.

That night, Rio's imagination seemed to take over her. She saw things other than just that made up playwright. He couldn't have been a hallucination if the name card didn't go out of sight. But she seemed to notice something, probably a flying mammal in her home. It was the same breeze she would feel if a bird flew past her, just that it felt heavier and and a lime green flash.

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Oh dear, Arthur, you've shown her too much. Now the girl's all scared!

Trust me, Pixie, she's the one!

Hm, okay. But you should be aware of the consequences if you've found the wrong girl!

Rio was awoken the second time that night by the same voices echoing in her head. She sat up abruptly and saw that lime green flash again. "Who's there?"

"Oh, my, what a rude girl." The voice mumbled.

"Who are you? Come out!" Rio's voice was trembling and she couldn't notice her perspiration was dotting every part of her body. She didn't have a weapon with her. What if it was a robber? The voice sounded like that of a child, a child robber? She was scared of an immature, petit human? She seemed to feel a force tiring her out because of this child, although she couldn't smell anything in the air. What if he decided to kill her with some heinous odorless gas in the air?

The lime green flash appeared and again and in front of her was a flying, flowing, lime green rabbit with fur wings attached to its back. "What the hell are you?"

"How rude! I am the Flying Mint Bunny!" The bunny crossed its arms, or legs or paws or whatever those green fur flesh-packed things were.

"Holy shit. I'm seeing things again." Rio mumbled as she picked up the phone on her nightstand and punched the numbers in for her psychologist.

"Hey! Who're you calling?" The bunny chirped.

"Shut up!" Rio yelled at the bunny, although she tried to convince herself she was yelling at air. "Hello, Doctor?"

"Rio, it's two o'clock in the morning. Can't this wait?"

"I'm seeing things again."

"What is it?"

"It's a green bird rabbit thingy. It's like a talking green rabbit that can fly and has wings! And it calls itself the Flying Mint Bunny and it's been harassing me since this evening!" Rio said she tried to catch her breath. After a few seconds of silence, the line was cut. "Hello? Hello?"

"Oh, look at that. Probably your insolent personality has scared him off."

"Calm down, Rio, it's just your imagination. Everything will be fine tomorrow morning." She said, her voice hoarse and trembling as she went back to sleep.

"Hey! I'm not done yet!"

"Go away!" She hissed. She immediately turned off the light on her nightstand and tried to go back to sleep. The light was turned on again by the irksome bunny and she saw it holding a black C-sized Victoria's Secret bra in its paws which was the one she was wearing under her nightgown.

"Give that back, you perverted, dirty hare!" She screamed.

"You'll have to catch me if you want it!" The bunny teased and flew out of her room.

"Shit!" She cursed. She grabbed her robe, put it over her nightgown and followed the bunny. "When I catch you, I'm going to rip those wings off your back and cook you up for Thanksgiving!"

The bunny giggled and flew out of her store, down the street and into a park. Rio didn't care she was running around without a bra on. She didn't notice she didn't feel tired at all when she was chasing the bunny. Passers-by at two o'clock in the morning would probably think she was an insane woman running around the city without a bra on. The bunny reached an unusually large tree and stopped there.

"Slowpoke!" It teased as it stuck out its tongue.

"Don't…you…move…" Rio whispered, but before she could grab the bunny, it flew into a hole at the foot of the tree and she followed it. She fell right into the hole where all her magical hallucinations reappeared, from the pixies to the fairies to the unicorns to the perverted bunny.

Thump!

Are you sure that's her, Arthur? I'm beginning to doubt it. She couldn't even recognize the Flying Mint Bunny. Are you sure she's the hero of Wonderland?

I'm absolutely sure, Pixie. She looks exactly like the Rio who killed the evil red king.

Well, why doesn't she remember anything?

I don't know. I think the humans call it, 'Peer Pressure'?

XXX

Okay, if you don't understand the Clarkland and Kirkland difference, Clarkland is the villain pirate and husband of the red queen while Kirkland is his England doppelganger, the magician aka Mad Hatter. Did I spoil too much? :P