Title: Long Long Way To Go

Author: Ploegette

Rating: M

Disclaimer: The only character that I own is Theresa (Terri) Meradus. All other characters belong to ABC and are being used with love.

Characters: Kevin Ryan, Theresa Meradus

=Chapter One=

It was an odd thing, all of a sudden being alone. Knowing that everything you had set out for your life's future was gone in the course of a few words and a ring left behind on the kitchen counter. Leaning against the railing and staring out into the water below, Kevin Ryan pulled out the small metal ring from his pocket. Everything about it now seeming so cold. Even the diamond seem to lose the glitter that it once had when tucked into it's velvety box.

He moved the ring back and forth in his hands, still uncertain what to do with it. Did he wait, just in case he and Jenny could figure something out? Or did he just get rid of it, throw it into the river and no longer have the token of a broken love haunting him.

Kevin let out a small sigh and lowered his head for a moment until the quick flash of orange caught the corner of his eye. Picking his head up slightly, he glanced off to the side into the darkness. He almost had himself convinced that it was nothing but his imagination playing tricks until there was another flicker of orange light.

This time it was impossible to miss. The orange glow of a flame from a lighter. It started out small, but with each passing second grew slightly larger and seemingly hovering in the air. Momentarily, the cop in him started to surface and Kevin made his way towards it, only to stop when his eyes adjusted and he noticed it was a figure holding something in their hands.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Kevin stood watch as the figure moved towards the light post that illuminated the river. Soon, the figure turned into a women and he realized that she had lit something in her hand on fire. He watched as the embers crept up closer to her hand until she finally dropped it into the water.

"You know, I'm pretty sure New York frowns upon littering and arson." Kevin nearly threw his hand to his mouth when he realized that what he had thought to be an inner monologue had really been spoken aloud.

The woman glanced up at Kevin with a raised eyebrow, clearly showing no amusement by what he had said. "That so? Well, if you are so concerned why don't you go call the cops and leave me alone then." Turning away from Kevin, she pulled another piece of paper out of her pocket and used a lighter that had been hidden in her other hand to set the corner on fire. Once again, she held it long enough to watch it disappear, but not so long as to burn herself.

"Too much paper work, and I'm really not in the mood."

"Lucky me." The women snorted. Though he couldn't see it, Kevin was sure that she had rolled her eyes.

Sighing, he moved away from the railing and slowly walked towards the women. "You know, being out here this time of night isn't exactly the safest thing when you are women." Now that was the cop in him coming out.

"Believe me, I am more than capable of handling myself." She finally glanced up at him, and the closer he got the more apparent it was that the women had been crying. "And I also wasn't looking for company."

"You do look like you could use it though." Something was obviously upsetting her, and he had his suspicions that it had something to do with what she was burning.

She watched him for a moment, and Kevin quickly realized that she was trying to gauge him. "You know, this is really more of a solitary thing..." she was trying to push him away without actually telling him what she was doing.

"Well then, at least promise me it isn't something that I should be worrying about as a cop."

"Figured as much." She said with a slight grin. "You scream cop you know."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Take it as you want."

Kevin slid his hands into his pocket and let the silence settle over them for a moment. "You still didn't answer my question..."

"Pushy, aren't you?" This time her tone of voice was much harsher and he knew that he has struck a chord. Without even giving him a chance she pulled out a stack of papers from the inside of her jacket pocket and moved a few steps closer the Kevin thrusting them into his chest. "They're photos, happy? I'm burning photos. Call it cathartic."

Glancing down he noticed that they were all photos of then women in front of him and another man. It was then that the pieces clicked. Whoever it was had hurt her, and now she was getting rid of the memories. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Excuse me?"

He piled the photos back together and handed them back to her. "Look, I'm sorry I had no right. Guess I've been a little moody. I apologize."

She sighed. "It's fine. Your a cop, I guess being curious about everything is just part of your nature." With a shrug she took the photos back from Kevin and slipped them into her pocket along with the lighter. "Besides, burning photos at almost midnight in a public area probably wasn't the smartest idea."

"No, probably not."

"Just made me feel better." She quietly added, staring out at the water. "Take it that you kinda get it though, with saying that you should have thought of that?"

Kevin wasn't sure how to handle that one. Did he want to tell her? Then again, he had started to play twenty questions with her, it was only fair in a way. "I'm assuming whoever is in those photos meant something to you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, he did."

"My fiancee ended our engagement." He sighed in defeat. "Said that she just couldn't take the idea of being married to a cop anymore. The long hours, worrying about my safety..."

Kevin simply watched confused as she broke out into laughter. When she glanced back at Kevin, she immediately stopped and said a quiet apology. "It's not funny. I'm sorry. It's just I always used to figure that would be my problem. Now I almost wish that it had been."

"Now I'm confused."

She shook her head, a slight smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. "I'm a Federal Agent, so believe me when I say I know what you are talking about." Rolling her eyes, she took and deep breath and slowly let it out. "Terri Meradus." She pulled her hand out of her pocket and extended it to Kevin.

"Kevin Ryan." He gladly took her hand and have a slight shake. "Guess I get what you mean by being able to take care of yourself."

"Yeah." Terri nodded. "But I'm serious, I wish that my fiance had left me because he couldn't handle being married to a Federal Agent. Would have made things a lot easier."

"Why did he leave?"

Leaning her back against the light post, Terri slid her hands back in her pocket. "Technically I left, but not without good reason. I caught him in bed with one of his co-workers who also happened to be a good friend of mine."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, not like you had anything to do with it." No, there were only two people that should be sorry for what happened, but she doubted that either one of them really were. "So I packed up some stuff and came up to New York, figured I could at least see my brother while I'm here."

Kevin wished he could get away. It didn't matter what he did, everything seemed to remind him of Jenny. Half of the reason he had left the apartment was because some of her stuff was still around that she had left behind. As much as he wanted to just box it up and get rid of it, he couldn't bring himself to do it. "How long were you together?"

"Five years. You?"

"Three."

"It's shitty isn't it? Having everything so perfectly planned out only to wake up one morning and realize that it's been pulled out from under you?"

Kevin really couldn't have said it better himself. "I just can't stand the sudden emptiness. Feeling like a part of me is gone and then having to face the reality that I won't be getting it back."

"Don't think she will change her mind?" Terri asked, casting him a sideways glance.

He shook his head. "No, she was pretty clear about it." He could tell that she had meant every word of it, Jenny's eyes had always given her away. "You don't think you could get past what happened?"

This caused Terri to laugh out loud. "Definitely not. I've been cheated on before and taken them back only to have it happen again. Adam knew the rules, he was there when I had my heart ripped out the first time. He knew that I had no tolerance for it and I promised myself I was not putting myself in that position again."

"Good for you." He personally never saw any reason for someone to cheat and was grateful that it wasn't the reason he and Jenny had broke up.

"Thanks." One glance into his baby blues and she could tell that he was being sincere. "Look, it's getting a little cold and there's a coffee shop a few blocks from here if you want to warm up a bit. If you are anything like me, the last thing you want to do is just sit in bed knowing that you won't be getting sleep any time soon."

"So you're using me as a distraction now?"

"Like the thought didn't cross your mind..." She glanced at him with raised eyebrows waiting for him to answer that question knowing that she was right.

Finally she got a smile out of him. "Coffee sounds perfect right about now."