Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid.
It's cold here, on the rooftop. Wind whips at my hair and school uniform, chilling despite the sun's brightness. Amazing, isn't it? How monochrome the supposed golden light can be? Maybe it's just the gray tiles on the floor.
But I know that isn't all. It's gray from the tears I won't cry, the words I can't say now. Every futile wish - that I had spoken up earlier, that I misinterpreted - makes me feel so much more pathetic. What have you reduced me to, that I can feel such self-pity? That my eyes see only you, day or night?
I remember the day I first saw you. You were onstage, giving a speech to the whole school. A smile was confidently prominent on your face, but was it fake? I didn't know. I...still don't know.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know you." That had been my first fear, hearing those words slip from your mouth. That's why I ran so quickly up to you, why I introduced myself...and you simply smiled and said, "Nice to meet you."
I wanted to approach you, I couldn't approach you. I didn't want to seem obsessed; I wanted to know everything about you. I didn't want to make a fool of myself; I wanted to make you love me. With every opportunity, there was the risk of irreparable failure. If I could, I would abandon everything of who I was for you. I still would, if it would mean your love.
My second fear had been, "Oh, is that so." It had been a vacant, expression, a sudden disinterest, a false smile - any indication that I had lost you. So I kept my distance, pretended not to notice every time you brushed your bangs out of your face. I pretended.
But that couldn't last forever, and it didn't. Soon, my fear became, "Who's that?" directed away from me. I didn't want you to fall in love with someone else. I didn't want to know that there was someone better. So I approached you. I tried to show how I felt. I tried to get you to look at me, and that you did. But not with the eyes I wanted.
The rooftop is getting colder, I think, before I realize tears are running down my cheeks. I can't do anything but stare at the horizon blankly. Oh, I think, so this is how I feel.
The clouds have disappeared, leaving the sun even brighter. A rain is more suited to sorrow. Is the universe mocking me? Are the sun's blinding rays proof that my love was to end, regardless? But even so, I love you.
It was bleak, the day I found you with that someone else. The sky had been appropriately black from storm clouds, rumbles echoing through the hallway. The same hallway where I found you.
A smile that was undoubtedly genuine, you were alone together, talking in low voices... How could I believe that to be anything else? You shattered my hopes right then, and yet I still can't blame you... because I was the one who got them up to begin with.
I'm... such a fool.
My own little rainstorm continues up here, on the roof. The sky is still sunny. I think I hear birds chirping. But it might just be my imagination; I think I hear your laughter, too.
I've fallen to my knees, beneath the howling of the wind. The megaphone in my hand is all but forgotten - I came up here to declare my love. To shout it from the rooftops, until everyone knew. But I've lost my will and the batteries, too, so I'll just sit down and cry.
I'm such a fool.
I told myself I would be strong, but look where it's gotten me. I want to say that love is stupid. I want to numb all feeling, I want to hate you, like I know would make me feel better, like other people do...
But I can't because I'm such a fool.
How many days has it been since you looked at me? Did you ever even look at me the same way as that person? Is love something you feel from the start or not at all? Do I have no chance with you?
Well, to heck with that, then.
I raise myself to my full height, plant my feet firmly on the ground, and stare at the retreating clouds. They may run away, but I won't. I've turned my back to the happy sun - my choice is to fight until not a ray of light is left in sight.
AHHHHHHHH!
I scream, so loud, so hard, that my throat burns from the exertion. If my megaphone won't work, I'll just throw it away. If you won't look at me on your own, I'll make you. If that person wants to steal you away...
I will find a way to steal you back. Revealing clothing? Screaming? Shameless declarations of love? There is nothing I won't do now!
I love you! Earnest love - that is SIN!
I don't care if you're happy with someone else; love is desire - if I could give it up, it would be half-hearted. I won't allow my resolve to shake!
But you seemed so happy...
No. Loving you is hating those who threaten to take you away, being greedy for your attention, chaining you down forever. And now, that person has forced my ugliest hand.
This is war!
I may not have the upper hand, but it doesn't matter. If I am to fail, I'll fail in your name, and one day, soon, I'll be awakened by your kiss.