No, I do not own Jedi Apprentice. Though I do have an entire shelf full of Star Wars books. Does that count for anything?!
Cin Drallig got down on one knee. He extended his hand towards Tahl. She rolled her eyes.
"My love, you are as radiant as the Sun."
"I'm deadly radiation?"
"You're as graceful as the moons."
"I'm pockmarked with craters?"
"You're as magnificent as the ocean…"
"I'm full of poison and sea monsters?"
"And as warm as the sand on my feet."
"Your stinking feet are standing on me?"
"Your eyes are a soft blue…"
"They're green and gold, the last time I checked.
"All I care about it you…"
"Too many 'yous'."
"And it doesn't matter who,"
"Yawn."
"I'll always love you."
"Oh, gag me."
Cin Draillg stamped his foot. "Do you have to be such a critic, Tahl? I wrote that myself."
"I can tell."
"I wrote Tahl a poem, too!" Qui-Gon appeared, clutching paper.
Tahl's face lit up. "Let's hear it!"
Qui-Gon cleared his throat, got down on one knee, and outstretched his hand. "This is how it's done, Cin."
"Muja fruit's red,
Blue milk is blue,
I've never met
A prettier woman than you."
Tahl blushed. "Aaaawww… Quiggy! That was beautiful! You wrote it for me?"
"I did," Qui-Gon said, pride tainting his voice. "Just for you."
"I loved it!" Tahl sighed. She kissed him on the cheek. "I am truly touched. I can imagine how long it took, and I really see the thought behind it!"
Qui-Gon looked a bit dreamy. "Thanks."
"Well, see you around," Tahl said cheerfully. She walked away, Qui-Gon staring at her retreating form. Cin stood a few paces away, dumbstruck.
"Wait, isn't that the same poem you recited to Master Gallia last week?"
"No. I changed 'blue goo' to 'blue milk'. It made all the difference!"
Well, I hope all you readers like this fic a lot, 'cause the worst thing happened in Spanish:
Me: *writing this very fic*
Teacher: *teaching* *walks up to me* *tries to yank notebook out of hands*
Me: *yanks back*
Teacher: *scowls* *yanks back* *grabs* *reads*
Me: Ohgodohgodohgod… *thinks of all the awful humor and romance contained in that book*
Teacher: *scowls even more* *hands back*
Me: (expletive) I shoulda taken French.
--In addition to that, I believe my algebra teacher has one of my other fanfiction notebooks- the one with that fic "Why Not"- if you're familiar with it. One word: Humiliating.