Luna Negra

。。。ルナ·ネグラ。。。

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Chapter 1: White Pain

Blue eyes fluttered open. He sat up, falling on his hands. his chest heaved as he breathed heavily, hair in his eyes. He slowly looked up.

Everything was white. Everything. There was no ending, nor beginning. There were no walls, just empty space. His eyes trailed back and forth. He slowly dropped his head, not bothering to ask questions.

"Grimmjow?"

His head shot up. He looked behind him, taking a breath with wide eyes.

She stood there, in a white dress, smiling sweetly. "Orihime."

He looked at her, breathing shakily. He winced, looking down. "Am I dead?"

"It depends on..." She bent down in front of him "how you feel."

He wanted to touch her, he wanted to touch her so badly.

"Touch me." She whispered, smiling sweetly. She extended her palm. He reached out with a shaky limb, and she watched his hand.

"Do you love me?

He looked up at her. He opened and closed his mouth, his whole being threatening to crumble. He nodded his head. "Hai." It came out high pitched and ragged.

When he was about to touch her, something stopped him. He looked down to see that his wrists were shackled. He grunted, trying again. He yanked on them, but they wouldn't budge.

Her smile faltered. "Oh." He watched her stand up.

"So you don't love me."

"No! No!" He pulled on his chains. "I love you! Stay! Stay here with me."

"But Grimmjow...you let me die."

He stopped. His blood running cold. "D-don't...don't say that..."

"How could you love a corpse?"

"I'LL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT!" Grimmjow screamed at her, struggling violently against his chains. He was getting desperate, all he wanted to do was touch her again.

"Then..." She looked down sadly. "I guess, You can try." She turned around, and began walking away.

"Where...where are you going?!"

"Come back! ORIHIME!" He struggled, his feet digging into the ground as he growled furiously.

"I want to..." He watched her walk away, her form getting tinier and tinier. This couldn't be happening. She was actually leaving him. He didn't even get to touch her.

"Touch you..."

He gasped raggedly, watching her go. He couldn't hear anything. Just his uneven, heavy breathing echoing in his head. The image kept flickering back and forth.

Him. Orihime. Him. Orihime. Him. Orihime. him, Orihime, him, Orihime.

Distance. Distance...

He sucked in air, filling his lungs and screaming as hard as he could.

Luna de Negro

Opening: Hometown Glory

Copy Link:

.fm/music/Adele/_/Hometown+Glory

He screamed, the oxygen mask muffling his yells, doctors swarmed him. "He's awake! The Espada is awake!" A loud rapid beeping noise sounded from the monitor as he struggled. Cords and machines were stuck to him, the mask feeding him oxygen. He kept yelling, completely spooked out of his mind.

Where was she? She was gone!

He was strapped to the bed, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape.

"He's out of control! Tranquilliser! We need a dose of-"

Sweat poured down his face as he blinked rapidly, shaking his head back and forth. Everything was blurry and put of proportion, just as his breathing was.

He felt something stick him in the neck. He jerked about a bit more, his movements slowing. He was breathing hard, images getting blurry. His eyes rolled back, and his head drooped to the side.

XxX

Grimmjow woke up in a room. He opened his eyes, and they wandered around the room. A small bedside table, a lamp, and blandly painted walls.

A woman opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind her. "Jaggerjacques-San." He sat up numbly. "It is good to see you awake and moving." She commented.

His eyes trailed upwards, meeting her eyes dully. She was a shinigami nurse.

She cleared her throat. "You've been asleep for two years."

He narrowed his tired eyes.

"You nearly died of blood loss and a heart attack, but we were able to fix you up." She smiled slightly. He looked down to see bandages wrapped around his bare chest.

"You are no longer a hollow, Mr. Jaggerjacques. Head Captain Yamamoto has agreed to keep you in rehabilitation."

Grimmjow slowly got up, wincing once his bare feet touched the floor. He looked down to see he was wearing baggy, white pants.

He went to take a step, grunting in surprise when he immediately crumbled to the ground. He stopped himself with his arms, feeling an ache spread to his shoulder blades. the nurse scurried over to help him, but he shot her a warning glance. She stepped back, watching him struggle to get up.

"You were just in a coma and lost a lot of weight, no one expects you to be up and running." She explained to him softly.

He lay his hands on the bed, staring at the white fabric and getting used to his throbbing muscles.

He slowly began to move again, pushing past the wheelchair that was waiting for him in the doorway. He limped to the other side of the room, settling with a walking stick, and hiding the pain that shot up his legs with each step.

He pushed open the doorstep the outside hallway, and felt the sun hit his face. He squinted, practically hobbling down the hall. People stopped and stared at him as he limped pass.

"Yeah, that's the arrancar."
"It's that Espada! Look at the six on his back!"
"Hollow scum."
"I hear he's useless now, he's all human."

Grimmjow kept looking straight ahead. He couldn't hear them; he felt totally brain dead. It was just the process. One foot in front of the other, numbly. His bare feet touched the grass, and he could feel the blades of green between his toes. He slowly looked up at the blue sky, squinting. The wind softly blew, rustling his loose hair.

He wasn't himself. He knew that. He knew he had lost.

"Wait what the..." A voice sounded in the distance. A splotch of orange stood out in the scenery

"Oh God! It's Grimmjow!" Ichigo grabbed Rukia's arm and pointed. "Rukia! Rukia He's awake!"

They ran over. "Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow dug his crutch into the grass, continuing on as if he had never heard. "Hey, Grimmjow!" Grimmjow began to limp away. Ichigo and Rukia caught up with him, panting slightly. Ichigo put his hand on Grimmjow's bare shoulder, making him tense up. He turned around.

"Ichigo...Kurosaki?"

Ichigo was taken aback. "Y-yeah..." He looked into his eyes, and saw that there was no evil glint, or malicious laughter, or even hints of sarcasm. In fact, there was nothing.

Grimmjow watched him with tired, empty blue orbs. A gust of wind passed, shaking the grass and their clothes. Grimmjow turned to leave, limping away.

"Grimmjow, what happened?" Ichigo asked him, true worry and fear on his features.

Grimmjow stopped, turning around. He parted his cracked lips. Ichigo's eyes widened at the face Grimmjow made at him. Grimmjow put his hand to his face, pulling back to see tears on his hand. He cursed, turning around and wiping his eyes furiously, limping away.

"G-Grimmjow!-"

"Leave me." His voice was pained and raspy.

"Leave me alone."

Ichigo took a small step forward, angst in his eyes. "Grimmjow?"

Ichigo and Rukia both watched in shock as he limped painstakingly away.

Grimmjow had his head bowed as he walked, his fists clenched and his hair in his face. Swear poured down his jaw. He was breathing hard even though he wasn't tired. He was struggling to keep in his emotions, struggling to remain on this tiny plain of insanity, struggling to forget.

He couldn't. He couldn't do it.

His breathing became more elevated and ragged, until finally he yelled, slamming his fist into a nearby wall.

His whole body tensed, and he opened his eyes wide. He expected the wall to crumble or collapse, like he usually did when he let out his pent up anger. All there where was tiny spider web cracks making way from his fist. He slowly pulled away, looking at his hand. The skin immediately turned red, the top layer that was pulled off of his knuckles making blood flare around those areas. He gripped his wrist, shocked. He couldn't be this weak, could he? Why was he in so much pain?

Because your human, the voice in his head said.

XxX

Grimmjow stared at the mirror. He had stripped off his bandages.

He was pale, looking near emaciated. He had more scars. He had dark circles under his eyes. He just stared at the unknown figure in the mirror, silently.

They put him here. After he was all beaten and bloody, they put him in this tidy little place, with all its tidy little maids and nurses. Everything was so perfect. Everything was going to be just fine. Just fine.

His face contorted, and he yelled out, smashing his fist in the mirror, shattering it instantly. The Blood immediately seeped out of his knuckles, reopening his wounds from earlier. More pain.

He ripped out the shower curtain just for the sake of it, kicking it angrily. Then he screamed because he could, slamming his hands on the sink.

He stepped back, his broad chest heaving.

He fell back against the wall, still breathing hard. He slid down the wall, lifting his head. His fingernails dug into his scalp, his hands covering his eyes. He shook, sobs racking his body. But this time, his eyes were completely dry.

He was so weak. But what was the point of being strong if you had no one to be strong for?

He smiled at her naked form beneath his clothed one. "You make me weak, princess."

Grimmjow gasped, looking up with red eyes

"You make me strong." She whispered back.

Suddenly, an indescribable pain entered his head. He grasped his hair, beginning to yell in pain, eyes wide.

It was her.

He backed into metal rack, spilling its contents and holding his head as he fell to the floor, screaming as his entire body convulsed.

The nurses could hear his screams of pain from the hallway. They gasped in fear, rushing over.

"Neliel-San! Neliel!" A nurse yanked open her door. Nel tu Odershvank sat upright in bed, throwing off the covers. She couldn't see the nurses face but she could tell it was serious. "What's wrong?" She asked, the moonlight from her window casting dark shadows on her features.

"It's Grimmjow-San!"

Nel's eyes widened. "He's awake?!"

"Yes but there's something wrong with him!" She spoke frantically.

Nel rushed out the door, "come on!"

The hallway was dimly lit. "He-he just started screaming and holding his head, and he wouldn't respond to us!" The nurse continued as they both ran.

Nel could begin to hear his tortured yells as she neared the room, seeing the nurses huddled outside.

She pushed them aside, rushing inside. She stopped in the doorway to the bathroom, seeing Grimmjow screaming like there was no tommorow. Groans and yells escaped his throat as he convulsed on the bathroom floor. His hands covering his ears or clawing at his scalp.

The pain was horrible, it was the most terrifying hurt Grimmjow had ever felt. It was all in his head. The pain. The memories. It shot through his body like a circuit. The pain was so bad, he would rather just die there, at least he'd be with her.

Nel immediately rushed over, bending over on the broken glass. She grabbed his shoulders. "Grimmjow? Grimmjow it's me Nel, you're gonna be okay-"

He shook his head, screaming again, his bloodshot eyes staring straight at the cieling. She pushed him against a wall, sitting him against it.

"Look at me Grimmjow you're gonna be okay!" Nel choked. "You gotta listen to me-"

"Gah! AahhAH!" Grimmjow was fighting it, nearly ripping the hair out of his head. His head hit the wall, and he yelled again.

"Grimmjow!" Nel could feel tears streaming down her cheeks. "Grimmjow I'm here! I'm here! Just listen to my voice...listen to my voice and you'll be okay..."

He let pained sounds come from the back of his throat as he struggled to breath correctly, staying conscious.

He turned his head, looking at her with red, blank eyes. He was breathing hard, sweat rolling down his neck and face.

Green...he could see green...

The throbbing was beginning to subside, but Grimmjow was still panting like a worn out dog.

His vision began to slowly clear...and he saw a woman in front of him. Green hair, brown eyes, magenta markings..."

He winced and with some effort, spoke. "Nel..." He let the words leave his lips with difficulty.

"Yeah!" She smiled, tears flowing freely. She squeezed his arms "Yes, Grimmjow...you're gonna be alright, okay?"

He grunted with pain once more. He looked at her, and smiled with shaking muscles.

His smile was so terrible. It broke her heart. Everything about that smile was crooked and fake. It was a pitiful lie, an attempt to be better but failing miserablely. It was miserable. Him and his trembling, cracked lips.

She let out a little cry, grabbing him and smushing his exhausted body against hers in a frantic hug.

Grimmjow had really scared Nel. Pain was always something he could handle. Grimmjow was always tough, he always pulled through and never needed anyone's help. Now everyone was dead...and he...he had lost it...

Oh God. Oh God...

He almost immediately fell asleep against the back of her shoulder, even as she began to shake, and his head fell limply to the side as she cried into him.

"It's gonna be okay! We're gonna be okay Grimmjow!" Her voice was high-pitched and shaky. Her voice was muffled as she buried her nose into his bare shoulder. She sniffed. "We're gonna be just fine!" Grimmjow was asleep, not feeling the tears run down his back as they both sat in the broken, lonely bathroom. Her sobs filled the room.

"...And I still love you. I miss you telling me that we would be together forever. That I was the one for you...And I still remember the promises, I remember them more than anything. And I can remember it like it was yesterday. You made me feel strong, important, whole, you made me believe. You made me believe someone could love me."

-s.f.

Ending- Soldier On

Copy link:

infectiousmusicuk/soldier-on-by-the-temper-trap

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Omfgosh I'm so excited.

I'm adding quotes at the end of each chapter, and I'm also putting links for the opening and ending songs, so click on them!