Author's Notes:

This was my contribution to the second issue of the Shallura fanzine stars aligned.

I named this piece after the song from Stephen Schwartz's musical Godspell. If you haven't heard it before, listen to it on YouTube. I didn't like it at first, but after being in a production of Godspell it grew on me.I think it fits many characters' situations in the show: Sam and Matt leaving Colleen and Pidge, Shiro leaving Team Voltron (Shiro is their Jesus and Keith is their Saint Peter).

This takes place after the Season 2 finale, and so will probably be proven non-canonical when Season 3 comes out in a few weeks.

Cover art is from a GIF by artemisaworld on Tumblr, who gave me permission to use it.

"By My Side"

Shiro and Allura's last conversation before the battle was about Keith. With so much at stake, and a rift forming between his two friends, Shiro wanted to let her know who he had chosen to succeed him, and asked her to treat the new leader with the same respect she had always shown him.

After the battle, Allura and Keith tried not to step over each other as they fumbled to assume the authority Shiro had exercised as the team's leader. Shiro and Allura had always worked as equals, taking turns deferring to each other. Keith was younger and less confident about leading, and quite frankly missed his friend too much to be cheerful about his new role. Sometimes Allura had to nudge him with a reminder that it was what Shiro had wanted; other times she had to rein him in and remind him that she, too, had some measure of authority over the group.

They were not the only ones feeling and acting out of sorts. Coran and the other paladins were also moody, each in their own ways. Everyone was a bit shorter with each other, snapping in frustration over problems large and small alike; but they were also quick to apologize, as they all knew what the real trouble was. There were two sides to their anxiety: they worried about how they would fare without Shiro to lead them, and they worried about Shiro himself.

When she missed him most, Allura visited the Black Lion, the last place Shiro had been, and the place where she felt closest to him.

"You miss him too, don't you?" she asked. The Lion did not respond with any sound or movement, but she could guess how it felt. It had changed hands more than any other lion of Voltron.

"May I enter?" Allura was not sure who she was seeking a connection with, the Lion or its missing paladin. She was relieved and touched when the Lion opened its mouth.

She entered and made her way to the cockpit. The walls and floor lit up around her, as though the Lion was welcoming its pilot. It seemed expectant, waiting for direction, yet Allura had none for it; rather, she herself was seeking direction. They had already tried and failed to locate Shiro from the Black Lion's computer; yet Allura suspected that if Shiro was still alive, their bond must be intact.

"Can you feel him? Can you sense where he is? What he's doing? How he's feeling? If we could just know that he's alright …" Allura trailed off, her lip trembling with the threat of a sob. She sat down in the pilot's chair, the place where Shiro should have been. "Why did this happen?" She hugged herself, as though by doing so she could literally hold herself together.

When Allura spoke again, she addressed not the Lion but its absent paladin. "Keith is doing his best, because he doesn't want to let you down … he's actually doing a fair job … but he misses you. We all do. And I … I've already lost so many people … I don't know if I can stand losing you as well." She finally released the tears she had been holding back.

Something jolted Allura out of the chair, and then she fell — not onto the floor of the cockpit, but through . After a moment she landed on her hands and knees.

She was no longer inside the Black Lion, though she still sensed its presence. When she looked up she saw it standing on her left. But they were no longer in the hangar: they seemed to be surrounded by faraway stars and the black expanse of outer space.

"Allura?"

She gasped, turning toward the sound, and prayed she was not merely imagining the voice she wanted to hear, the person she wanted to see. Shiro stared back, surprised to see her, but then ran up to her eagerly.

She stood slowly, shakily. "S-Shiro? You're alive?"

He stopped within arm's length of her. "I think so."

Allura did not find his response reassuring; it allowed too much room for doubt. "Is this real?" She had posed the same question to her father's corrupted artificial intelligence. She was less trusting of her senses since that appealing illusion had put them in so much danger.

But Shiro said, "I think it is."

Allura reached out cautiously to see if she could touch him. Shiro raised his left hand to meet hers halfway. Yes — they still had their sense of touch here, and once they made contact, they held on to each other.

"How are you here?" Shiro asked curiously.

"I don't know. I was in the Black Lion, and then … I don't know what happened." Allura took her eyes off of him long enough to glance at their surroundings again. "What is this place?"

"This is the astral plane where I fought Zarkon and bonded with the Black Lion. Your physical body is still inside it."

"Where is your physical body?"

Shiro frowned, almost matching her puzzlement. "I don't know the name of the place. It's — hard to describe."

"Why did you leave?" The question left Allura's lips before she could stop it.

"I didn't mean to."

"I know, but — why did it happen?"

"I don't know." Shiro bowed his head, remembering. "When they shot the castle — the last thing we heard was you — screaming — then we saw the explosion —" It was painful for him to remember and describe it. "I thought you were gone."

How ironic. "Is this your way of getting even, then?"

Shiro met her eyes again and squeezed her hand. "No, Princess, I could never — I was so relieved to realize I was wrong —"

"I was trying to be humorous." Allura paused, seeing that he did not find it amusing. "The other paladins told me how you rallied them enough to restart Voltron. You were exactly the leader they needed."

The corners of Shiro's lips quirked upwards. "Who do you think I learned that from?" he asked teasingly. Allura blushed, and Shiro smiled fully, which to her was the most beautiful sight. He lifted her hand and kissed it, with more affection than formality.

They talked for a while about the battle and its aftermath: the casualties, the discoveries, the results, and the current status of their friends and allies. It was almost like a normal debriefing.

"Are you and Keith getting along?" Shiro asked.

"Yes. We made amends. But everyone's worried about you. Pidge is racking her brain trying to find a way to locate you. She and Keith are afraid —" Allura could not frame the words: that this time you might not return.

"Do the others know where you are?"

"No."

They were both silent until Shiro said what neither of them wanted to acknowledge. "You should go back. They might think you're missing, or something could happen …"

"I don't want to leave you. What if I can't find you again?"

"I think we'll see each other again."

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't, but … when I was a prisoner, I didn't think I'd see Earth or my friends again. But I did. If that could happen, anything seems possible." Allura's eyes softened with hope and tenderness. Shiro hesitated, then asked, "Will you do me a favor?"

"Certainly."

He lifted his prosthetic hand to touch her cheek. "Just … don't take any unnecessary risks. And don't let Keith take any, either."

Allura frowned. "I think we may differ on which risks are necessary." She knew she could be reckless, but each time she had made a bold move, it had proven beneficial to him or to the entire team. If anything, he should be grateful to her for all she had done.

Shiro smiled ruefully, knowing that she knew what he meant, and that he could not convince her of his view. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, a gesture that was meant to be sweet but proved awkward with her tiara in the way. Shiro drew back with embarrassment, but Allura embraced him, and after a moment he put his arms around her in return. His metal arm hung awkwardly across her back, but he brought his flesh hand up behind her head, stroking her hair. "Take care of them — and yourself."

"I will."

They let go of each other slowly, with mutual reluctance. "Goodbye," they said at the same time.

Allura awoke in the pilot's chair, uncertain whether she had been asleep or in some kind of trance. She addressed the Black Lion. "Was that a dream? Or a simulation?" She knew the Lions could replay memories and create vicarious experiences for their pilots, yet such a prolonged illusion seemed unbecoming of a Lion of Voltron. "Did you … bring me there?"

She sensed its affirmation, and gripped the armrests in gratitude.

"Thank you."