A/N: First Hetalia fanfiction! Whoop! Anywho, I thought of this idea a few weeks ago and it may seem dark but believe me, this is a humorous fic, which I got the idea for some of these points from a play I preformed my first year of High School in Theater Arts class and I don't know why but the sadistic me thought it was funny. Anywho, on with the prologue.

It was almost scary how this situation had been called just three days earlier. It had been called during a training session which again had gone wrong and ended with Italy somehow getting his head caught in a badger hole and as he struggled to get unstuck, the conversation began.

"Damn it Italy! Are you purposely try to get yourself killed!?" Germany demanded in annoyance as he watched his only friend struggle.

"It was an accident!" Italy whined as Japan came back with a pad of butter.

"A rather foolish accident if you ask me." Japan muttered as he began to rub the butter against Italy's neck.

"A foolish accident that would end up getting him killed on a battle field!" Germany spat back as he watched the two, feeling a vein in his temple pulsing.

After a few minutes of pulling, Italy's head finally popped out of the ground, reviling his dirty, and yet happy smile as he turned to his blonde friend, who let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding but then remembered he had been worried that the younger male would run out of air. With his breathing and temper under control, the blonde finally spoke again in a much gentler tone.

"You have to be more careful Italy." He said gently, and yet sternly.

"Oooh! But I don't have to worry because I have you and Japan to help me!" Italy cooed happily as he giggled. "Ve."

"Italy, Japan and I can't always be there to help you." Germany sighed heavily. "In a rare situation, we might actually need you to help us."

"Ve! Thats silly! You guys are strong and smart and always seem to have a plan to keep out of trouble." Italy said kindly as his honey colored orbs flashed opened for a moment before shutting again. "Even if the Allies got to you, I'm sure you would have some sort of smart plan of escape!"

The blonde and raven exchanged glances, both looking very tired as they left Italy behind on the training field.

72 hours later and the Italian was now running for his life on enemy territory while the sounds of bullets and shouts filled his ears and threatened to destroy his eardrums. His heartbeat soon drowned out these sounds as it hammered in his head and made him feel light headed, but at least he had forgotten about the pain he had in his torn open leg, the would just barely held closed by a sleeve of Germany's jacket.

'Germany.'

Italy's throat tightened as he ran faster, thinking and worrying about his friend who was either dead or at least bleeding by now, and this reminded him that Japan hadn't been heard from since that training disaster and was more than likely captured as well.

"This is bad! Bad, bad! Really bad!" Italy yelled to the darkness ahead of him as he tried to run blindly through the forest now just as a bullet whizzed passed his ear, just barely nicking it but getting it just enough that a thin trickle of blood began to run down with the beads of sweat collecting at his forehead.

How had it all gone this wrong? All they came here to do was spy and then go back home! It was only supposed to take about ten minutes and yet it had all gone horribly wrong... And it was all his fault! Italy soon realized as he dove to the ground, unable to take another step and yet still able to crawl to a nearby, fallen tree, which was hidden under a thick brush and served as the perfect hiding spot for the male.

'You just had to jump up and yell, that horrible, annoying, attention grabbing yell of your's as the first sight of a gun and at the sight of that stupid guard dog, blowing our cover in mere seconds. You stupid stupid stupid boy!'

He mentally cursed at himself, but his thoughts were soon silenced as he heard the enemy drawing nearer and nearer and he began to fear that if he thought to loudly, they might hear it. After what felt like hours soon slowly, agonizingly slowly passed, the enemy's voice soon faded away, and their footsteps could be seen retreating.

"Thank God..." He whispered as he released the breath he just realized he had been holding and rolled over onto his side so he could get a better look at his leg without sitting up.

The thigh of his left leg had been cut in a thin, clean line, about seven inches long, but much to his relief, it was not deep and would only require a few stitches if any at all. Sighing in relief that he wasn't going to loose a leg, he picked up the torn cloth and retied it around his leg in the way Germany had showed him just months earlier.

"I sure am glad I wasn't asleep for that lesson, ve." Italy spoke softly to himself, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat as he curled up into a little ball and shut his eyes.

He could just run back and cover away like he always did, after all, his white flag was in his pocket right now at the ready. Slowly reaching for it, his blood ran cold when he realized it wasn't there anymore and thats when he remembered. He had used it as bandage for his friend's wound, the one he got on his shoulder as he pulled Italy out of the first line of fire.

"Well shit." Italy uncharacteristically swore as tears pricked in the corners of his eyes. "Look Italy, now you even screwed up a simple surrender like you do everything else because you're so stupid. Now your friends are going to die."

He paused and took in a harsh breath in an attempt to swallow back his sobs. It would be futile for him to run back to safer grounds now, what with his injury and it being far to dark out for him to see in front of his own face. He would have to wait until day time, and risk being caught by the Allies or worse, having the rest of the Axis mad at him for allowing their leader to be caught and possibly killed... Unless...

"Well Italy, we've seen how you fucked up a surrender, lets see how badly you fuck up a rescue."