AN: This is a prompt fill for Abi117. Its mostly headcanon from the time they get out of the Dollhouse. After that I've gone in my own direction. It bounces between end of senior year and around the time of the 5 year time jump for now. I'm not sure yet but I think this will run 3-4 chapters. I hope you like it. Hanna/Aria is new for me. Please comment, favorite and follow if you like this.
The small brunette rolled over finding the space next to her in bed to be empty. Again. Empty and cold. She let out a soft sigh, ran a hand over her face to clear the sleep away as much as she could for the middle of the night, and moved to her feet. Pulling on her shirt while making her way out of the bedroom, she was really starting to wonder if this was a losing battle. It had been a few months that she could really be sure of, but not sure if it was happening for longer.
They agreed to remain in their separate apartments for the time being and it wasn't that big of a problem seeing as it was the same building just two floors apart. Sure financially it would help, but it worked and when friends and family visited there was always enough space. If she was going to have a moment of honesty with herself, she was split dead even about making the jump to living together. There was so much between them.. So many years and so many ups and downs and the back and forth. The I love you's were few and far in between or whispered into darkness.
The petite girl sat with her knees pulled up tight to her chest on the oversized chair that was positioned against a window and scanned the street below. New York city wasn't exactly where she dreamed of living but it was where life had lead her. Now she couldn't even imagine calling anywhere else home.
Taking a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes and let the ache bubble up. The memories had always burned just below the surface. They were the reasons she accepted the blondes somewhat erratic behavior. Well that and the way her touch made everything better. She loved her. Beyond any measure, she was bound to the girl and no matter what they had been through.. The good and the bad.. The boring and crazy... The moments in hell both in and out of that damned dollhouse.. They chose each other even when they didn't know it. They were still so young but lifetimes had been lived between them.
She reached for her phone that had been left on the table beside her earlier that night, scrolled the contacts and tapped. Three rings later and she heard it. That voice. The one she could listen to forever.
"I'm sorry Hep.. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to wake you.." Hanna's voice was soft and low.
"Can you come back up here? I'll queue up your favori-" The girl stopped mid word when she heard the hushed voice seep through the phone. "You know what Hanna.. I can't even bring myself to want to do this again let alone actually do it."
"What are you talking about?" The phone went silent before the blonde realized her words went unheard but Aria's hadn't. In fact it wasn't even the first time she had heard those words.
"For three nights! You spent three nights with me Hanna. In my bed with me. You came to me, remember? You kissed me! I told you things. I told you about what..what he did.." Aria sat heavily on the window seat in Emily's bedroom. Her tear filled eyed scanned every part of the room before finally coming to rest on the blonde that sat on the edge of the bed, facing her.
"I know. I know! Okay? I know, Aria. I was there. I'm not sorry it happened. How could I be?"
"Well it certainly feels like it right now. I've been calling and texting you since Friday. So is this how we are going to deal with this? You just pretend like it didn't happen..or ignore me.. Or what, what even is this?"
Emily pushed her bedroom door open causing the other girls to glare at random spots on the rug. "Why can I hear you from downstairs and what is what?"
"Nothing!" Both Hanna and Aria huffed out in unison.
"Really? For a lot of nothing you both look pretty upset."
"It's nothing Em, but I have to go." Aria was out the door before another word was said.
"So are you going to fill me in on what you two were talking about?"
"Drop it." Hanna laid back on the bed and pulled a pillow over her face.
"So… Does Caleb know? I haven't seen him-"
Hanna sat up so fast she felt slightly dizzy. "What?!" Moving to her feet, the blonde felt a knot forming in the pit of her stomach. "He..he went to visit his Dad.. Upstate NY.. Like a week ago. I have to go, I almost forgot about meeting my mom-"
"And Aria…?"
"What uh.. What about her? "
"Hanna I know.. okay?"
"I don't know what it is you think you know.." Hanna moved quickly off the bed and tried to exit the room before Emily blocked the doorway. "There's nothing to know and why are you being all intruded and-"
"Intrusive not intruded and it's pretty obvious there is a something Hanna." Spencer corrected as she stepped up behind Emily just outside the door.
"We both saw you the other night.. In Spencer's kitchen. I was heading down the stairs when I saw you lean in and kiss her."
"I was close behind and saw the way you looked at each other. Han, just talk to us? "
Hanna took a few deep labored breaths before moving to the window seat sitting heavily and on the verge of tears. "I don't really know what to say.. In that damned dollhouse.. when A had me strapped to that thing and was forcing us to choose, the screams and the.. I always chose her."
Both Emily and Spencer sat on either side of the blonde. They both wrapped an arm around the girl in hopes that it showed their support and encouragement to keep talking.
"Things with Caleb.. I don't know what happened. I know that I still love him but the gps tracker thing happened and the way he is constantly questioning everything. I couldn't breathe but then he just left again. Said he had some things to take care of and some crap about his dad."
"So you haven't spoken to him since…? Like at all?" Spencer asked.
Hanna moved to her feet and began to pace in a small circle. "This morning. He texted that he was still with his dad and that he missed me and that he would see me soon. I saw that and freaked out."
"And Aria, how did.. You two? I mean is this like random hook-" Hanna turned to Emily, cutting her off.
"No! I'm not just 'hooking up' with Aria. We're not you and Ali."
"Shut up Hanna! That was really uncalled for. And I'm not even talking to her."
"Well.. Is everybody sluttin it up around here But me?" Spencer looked between her two friends as she stood and adjusted her bunched up shirt. "I have to meet my mother at the club. I suggest you go talk to Aria. Even if you don't know what to say. Figure it out with her." Without looking back, Spencer was out the door and down the stairs.
"She is right you know. You both have these complicated situations but nothing will get solved if you don't go talk to her. It's obvious you trust her..and you did talk to her about those three weeks."
"I didn't even intend to talk about it with her but it all just came rushing out. I wanted to forget but-"
"I get it. That 'pick someone' game… I chose Spencer. All but once. I don't even know why. I'm not even sure I thought about it at the time. I can still hear the screaming. You and Ali.. Spencer's sobs. I think I stopped caring about what happened to me. I just wanted you all to be okay and safe."
"Em.. I don't think we are ever going to be able to forget. We all need to learn how to deal with this or..at least try. A is not going to get the best of me. I'm gonna go find Aria." Hanna gave her friend a quick hug and a small smile as she pulled away. "Take some of your own advice. Go talk to Ali."
Emily pulled her legs up underneath herself, getting lost in her thoughts before she even realized she was alone.
"Aria! Undo the chain and let me in!"
"No! I am not doing this with you at 3:30 in the morning. Go back to your own apartment."
"Damnit Aria just open this damn door! I am not going anywhere so you might as well let me in."
Knowing Hanna wouldn't give up, Aria finally relented and unhooked the chain. She'd barely moved out of the way before the door flew open and the blonde rushed in. "I can't do this anymore. With you. I just..I can't. "
Hanna froze at what she heard. "Can't?" Swallowing down her shock she turned slowly, hoping she had heard incorrectly. "What are you saying?"
"You're barely in this relationship with me anymore. You don't talk to me about anything and it's a rare event that you actually stay the whole entire night. And..and why is she here again?"
"Okay you're right. I haven't exactly been open and honest lately." Hanna knew she was close to ruining her future with the girl she loved if she didn't start dealing with her past. "I uhm..well I ran into Caleb a couple months back." Hanna moved to the couch and sat.
"Please tell me you didn't" The shorter girl moved to the couch and sat like she was a magnet being pulled to the other girl.
"Aria I could never be that person again.. I may be an ass sometimes but cheat on you, now?" Hanna settled against the arm of the couch and pulled her girlfriend back against her so they say front to back. "I suck at showing you how much I love you at times. But I do."
Aria couldn't hold back the contented sigh as she settled back. The feel of being held by Hanna always made everything better. "I know you love me. But there are times..when I feel like you don't want this, us.. Being together. I need all of you in this with me."
Hanna pressed her lips against Arias temple as she listened to her talk. It hadn't been that long ago that she would start to panic when the relationship and living together conversation came up but the last few weeks it became clearer just how much she needed to let go of her fears. "Let's move your cameras and equipment downstairs." Hanna held tight to the girl she nicknamed Hep, short for Audrey Hepburn on one of their Skype talks their first year away at college. "Hep, I want to move up here. Be with you all the time."
Aria turned in her girls arms and pressed their lips together for a soft kiss. "I didn't think you'd ever be ready."
"Well being here full time does allow me to.." Hanna runs her fingers along the inside of Arias thigh. "Do this any time I want."
With her arousal spiking, Aria quickly stood pulling her girlfriend with her. "Take me back to bed..we can talk details in the morning."
Reviews let me know what you like! Also they make me feel good.. and being as its my bday they are like little gifts for me. :)
Xo FindingSide