Disclaimers: Joss, UPN, WB, FX, and FOX own Buffy: the Vampire Slayer and
Angel: the Series along with Mutant Enemy and a few other people I'm sure
to forget. I also don't own Michelle Branch (Maverick records) or
t.A.T.u. (Universal records), or their songs. I'm just using them because
they fit so well and I love them.
Rating: 'R', eventually Spoilers: BtVS, the entire series, and AtS through season 4 (We all know about the spoilers for AtS season 5, and let's just pretend that isn't happening, okay?). Pairings: Faith /Wood, Faith /Buffy, and eventually mention of that whole Buffy/Spike *disaster*(!) . . . . But this is mostly about Buffy and Faith and their feelings towards one another, so BE WARNED: THE IS A SHIP FOR THE U.S.S. FUFFY!
Feedback: YES! I LIVE FOR IT! Send E-Mails to Satanslilangl@yahoo.com or VixenRaign@yahoo.com
AUTHOR"S NOTE: Okay, I know this is kinda twisted, and that it's totally off the handle, but I can explain: THIS WAS ORIGIONALLY A DREAM. I dreamed it the first Tuesday when there was no BUFFY to watch (May 27 2003), and this part of the story I thought up while I was bussing the three hours drive from Florence to Rome. It's the Prequel to 'These Secrets Kept'. I hope you all like it as much as you liked the last one. Also, be gentle with the whole love-scene thing . . . it's still new to me. ~Vix
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= = = (* Forbidden Happiness *) = = =
Faith walked up to the roof of The Academy and placed the key into the lock. Only the original Scoobies had keys to this door, which often caused problems with the other teachers. The brunette *needed* a break! She'd finished a morning Slayer Meditation Class before lunch, and she'd had to call off her Weapons' Class for this afternoon. She just didn't have the energy for it, and it was only Monday afternoon. But this was her reason for going to the roof in the first place; Relaxation . . . and, of course, the good company. Opening the door and walking into the Magical Garden that Willow had created, Faith took in the beautiful View.
Buffy was laying down with her arms tossed over her eyes, knees bent slightly for comfort and thinking. She didn't even hear the roof's lock click.
"Happy thoughts?" Faith's voice called from what must have been a mere few feet away. Buffy smiled and sighed.
"Quite shallow, actually." Her tone was pleasant and light, as though she didn't have a care in the world . . . it was rare to hear her in such form.
"Well, that doesn't explain the Vegetation . . ." Faith drawled, point to the plants around the blonde. Opening her eyes to see what the brunette was talking about cause Buffy to gasp. Willow's garden really was magical. She'd cast a spell on it so that positive thought would make it grow faster. The small lemon shrub they'd planted last week was now about three feet tall. Not only that but the grass had grown to be about seven inches in height. As the blonde ran her hands through the soft green blades, she shook her head slightly. Only Willow, she thought.
"Just enjoying normalcy for once." Came Buffy's giggled reply. Faith nodded and plopped herself down in the now thick grass. Pulling up a hand- full she let it blow away in the wind. This had become a tradition for them; afternoons on the roof. The two remaining Chosen Ones had their early evenings free, while the others had classes to teach or places to be.
"What's there to enjoy?" she asked, only half joking, "I've had little to no action for almost three years, minus my last visit to the 'Dale . . . & this hellmouth *sucks* compared to SunnyD." It was a comment that made Buffy's eye fall to the ground again. Which wasn't growing as quickly as it had been a few seconds ago. Faith nodded slowly, looking away and watching the slowly reddening sky darken at the pace of molasses.
"Sorry, didn't mean to poop the party . . ." Buffy chuckled sadly and pulled up her own tuft of grass to release into the wind.
"That's alright." Buffy said slowly, eye focused on the now long-gone blades of grass, "It happened. No good in forgetting it." Faith chuckled again as she watched the blonde run her hands through the grass again.
"Are you sure it was shallow thought you were having? This place is starting to look more like a Jungle than a Tar-Beach." Buffy smiled slightly and nodded. " . . . Or Maybe," Faith said playfully, " 'Ole Red's got a thing for you? You know; she thinks 'Fondly' of you, and her garden grows wildly for her favorite Slayer . . . ?" Faith said suggestively. The older woman simply laughed and shook her head.
"I don't think so," the Slayer said slowly, "She's too caught up in her break-up with Kennedy to Hex her garden like that - even if she was." Buffy added quickly. Faith, ever playful and desperate to keep the mood light, looked skeptical.
"You do know that Willow didn't just suddenly wake up one morning and was suddenly attracted to girls, right?" Buffy nodded with a smile, borderline smirk. "And you being her only real female friend for all of high-school . . . no to mention the fact that she had a record for falling for her Best- Buds . . ." Faith extended the last word out, receiving a long pointed look from Buffy in return (which was stern).
"Really Faith, She doesn't see me like that." She said with a ere of finality. Faith nodded, smiling.
"Uh-Huh, 'cause you didn't freak out when she told you about Tara, right?" Buffy looked at her suddenly, face unreadable. Faith waved it off as if it was nothing and replied off-handedly. "Dawn told me back in LA. Tara told her, and Willow told Tara shortly after it happened . . . she was worried. You were her best-friend, the *first* person she told, and you Freaked . . . didn't you wonder why she never told Xander, or Giles, or anyone else?" Faith asked quickly. The blonde looked away, sadness and more than a smudge of guilt covering her face. The brunette Slayer had always thought that Buffy's sad face was her most beautiful, but that was before she'd truly seen her smile. Though she thought it gave the older woman a certain degree of mature elegance, she much rather hear her laugh.
"I had wondered . . . though I had always hopped that wasn't why." At this rate the garden would be dead in a matter of minutes, Faith thought, better get back to the Happies.
"But you gotta admit," Faith said slyly, "You got a weird view of Love." Buffy chuckled sadly, and looked to Faith knowingly. "You didn't mind Willow dating a Musician that probably said about 1000 words to her in the entirety of their relationship, but when it's a girl is doesn't matter how much they have in common. Both witches, both shy, both smart, college loving girls . . . you must like people in couples to be *very* different, don't you?" Buffy looked at her slightly confused, but still smiling slightly.
"You know," Faith said, nudging her slightly, "Xander always making jokes to cover-up how he really feels, then Cordy and Anya (Both of whom are no longer with us) would say anything and everything about whatever they were thinking or feeling. Giles and Jenny; One very Old-World with his books and Rules, one young with her Magic and Computers. Not to mention you and Angel . . . too many differences to number!" Both girls laughed, and Buffy looked at Faith with a large smile on her face . . . but it didn't reach the sadness in her eyes.
"Oh Faith," she said, laughter calming, "Always talking about stuff you only *think* you understand . . ." Faith just stared right back at her, a look of hurt and confusion on her beautiful face. She knew she'd struck a nerve and now she'd have to deal with the after-blow. The blonde's tone wasn't malicious like it was the last time she said it to the brunette, but rather disappointed; which seemed to make it hurt even more. "I'll admit there are times when opposites attract, but similarities are nice too." Buffy looked off into the distance, focusing on some point that Faith couldn't see.
"What do you mean?" Faith asked slowly, her curiosity overpowering her need to make the blonde smile again for the time being. The blonde blinked and looked down at her feet, bare on the grass.
"Well, I've never seen Willow as happy as she was with Tara . . . they were just so iridescent every time one of them entered a room. I don't think I've ever had that. Where the very sight of someone made a smile come to my face that I just couldn't seem to wipe away. Even with Angel there was always that fear that he was only there to bring the news that there was some great evil of her found the dead-body of one of my friends."
"But you loved him, I thought?" Faith asked quickly.
"I did." The older girl replied quietly, "But it was *so* hard. And the fact that our work was so closely related to our being together . . . it made things very difficult. With Willow and Tara . . . they always seemed to rise above it. Being Scoobies wasn't their life, just what they wanted to be a part of it. I've always wanted to know what that's like." Faith stomach suddenly sank; here was Sunnydale's greatest champion, and she sounded *so* defeated.
"Well, you can do it now." Faith said almost defensively, "You're Slayer And Chief, you have Mini-Slayer-Minions to do all that time consuming foot- work for you. All you have to do now is teach, and lead, and point the way. It's incredible how much these girls look up to you." Faith said happily.
"Yup," Buffy said, almost spacily, "That's all I have to do . . ."
"Well? Why aren't you going out and getting snuggly with some hot-little- Honey? Find some lucky bastard, and squeeze him for all he's worth." Buffy's face fell slightly as she turned sadly towards the brunette.
"Don't you think he'd notice that if as doing all this Teaching, and leading, and pointing? I wish I could find someone that already *knew* . . ."
"Xander's Free," Faith joked, "I doubt he'd turn you down!" Buffy chuckled, and Faith joined her. Looking out at the deep orange sky, Buffy sighed.
"I did freak." She said suddenly, as though all the things said in-between hadn't happened. "But not because of why you'd think." Faith turned towards her, wanting to hear her defense. The blonde smiled slightly, though her tone was sad, and began to explain.
"It was like you'd said," Buffy said, glancing at Faith before her eyes turned back to the horizon, "Willow, I'm sure, didn't just wake up one day attracted to girls . . . she's felt slightly attracted to girls her whole life, she just figured that was normal. But when she met Tara; there was no slightly. *Boom*, attracted. When Tara didn't seem to mind and ever began reciprocating those emotions, Willow realized that there was no getting around her feelings. People don't go to bed straight and wake up the next day with the perfect realization that they're attracted to people of the same sex . . ." Buffy sighed and closed her eyes slowly. As she drew in her next breath, Faith was surprised to hear it was shaky and unsure.
"I know because Willow told me . . . and because the same thing had happened to me." Faith's heart seemed to have stopped beating and was now trying to escape through her throat. She was glad that Buffy still had her eyes closed, because she doubted that the blonde would have taken her shocked expression well. "I was called to Slayerdom at barely 15 . . . I hardly ever liked guy then, but I had the same fluffy-bunny-feelings for girls . . . and that scared me."
"It was shortly after my calling to be The Slayer that I realized some of my feelings where not considered straight by the strictest of standards. People on the cheer-leading team commented on my . . . wondering eyes . . . and that was as great a motivation to leave the team as my Slaying Duty was. When people saw me out of school they avoided me, when I burned down the gym they blamed in on my Raging-Bull-Dyke-Tendencies." Buffy sighed deeply, "When I had to move to Sunnydale I decided that being a Slayer was dividing enough; I didn't need my sexuality pushing me even further from the crowds."
"Wow, B . . ." Faith whispered slowly, not knowing what to say. She and Buffy had gotten to be as close as two people could be, and yet there were still times like this which would make Faith appreciate how far they'd come. She'd never been as close to any one as she'd been with Buffy, even before she'd gone to work for the Mayor, and the fact that the blonde trusted her enough to tell her these things, things she'd never even told Willow even, made Faith realize how much they both had grown. 'Nothing like an apocalypse to bring two people together.' Faith thought ruefully.
"Hey, Ancient History," Buffy said lightly, trying to play it off as nothing, "People are only people, and they have their fears . . . mine was separation. When I first arrived in Sunnydale I was determined to keep my eyes locked firmly onto those of the Male persuasion. And, lucky me, a nice Male hotty caught my attention that first night. Only later, after I had finalized my plans to peruse him and regain my heterosexuality, I had learned he was a Vampire. He was the only guy I had really liked since I'd moved there, and I couldn't go out and find some dope to be my beard. Xander would have taken it as a personal affront if I had reduced him to that, *or* if I'd found anyone else. So, as you can see, I was pretty stuck. Plus; Angel was down-right Sexy." Buffy just shrugged and kept her eyes on the setting sun.
"When he left for LA, and I had to start college, I figured that it'd be safe for me to start experimenting with my sexuality. But the fact that Willow, and Xander, and Giles, not to mention my whole life was still right there with me made me very nervous. And so I decided to go with one more guy. But, he turned out to be a one-night-stand. So, to make me feel better, Willow set me up with a boy I couldn't stand. She did it out of the goodness of her heart, so I figured I'd just wait it out until he dumped me . . ." Buffy chuckled slightly, "I had *NO* idea that would last as long as it did. I was just so afraid of being alone, and he was there, but I didn't love him . . .and he knew it."
"He couldn't handle that I was so strong and dominant, that he wasn't the leader or 'The Pants' in our relationship. He wanted some one that would cry on his shoulder or run to him every time they scrapped their knee. I'd never cry in front of him, and I wasn't one to run away and find someone to fight my battles for me. He just couldn't stand not being needed by someone he loved so much." Buffy glanced at Faith who looked pensive and then down at the now slightly wilted grass. Bowing her head she slowly continued.
"When Willow told me about Tara, I freaked. I lost it . . . and not in a good way. I was angry, and I was upset. And I blamed her for the years of sadness and forced secrecy I'd placed upon myself. I avoided her and Tara for so long because they had what I wanted. They were together and happy, and they weren't afraid. They had placed a bet and took what chances they could face with intolerance. I hated Willow for being only human, and being braver than I; A Slayer. And so, on top of all of that, I was jealous of her . . "
"What about Spike?" Faith regretted it, the moment it the moment the sound left her mouth. Her tone had been almost interrogative, and she knew that Buffy hated talking about it.
"Ah, Yes, Spike . . ." She sighed, but her tone wasn't sad and Buffy saw the surprise on the brunette's face. "Don't get me wrong, I wish he hadn't died, but I'm far from heart-broken . . ." The blonde's face had hardened slightly, but it was no longer sad.
"You didn't love him?" Faith asked slowly, as though trying to figure out how one plus one could possibly equal two. Buffy simply stared back at her, a look of slight cheek to her face.
"You're one to comment," She said smartly, "Like you ever loved Xander!" Faith chuckled, and Buffy joined her.
"But still," Faith said slowly, "You've never been like me . . . and they way you two acted, I guess it just seemed like you were." Buffy looked down at her arms, and then took in a deep breath.
"As a Slayer, you know that we don't injure easily." Faith nodded, and Buffy grimaced slightly. "You also know that when we cut our-selves, though we do bleed, we heal quickly and almost never scar . . ." Buffy pinched her eyes shut tight. "Except when you're speaking emotionally." Faith's eyes opened about as wide as they could go, watching Buffy run her fingers over the flesh of her fore-arms. "Fighting, Slaying, wasn't enough pain. The hurt it had caused before to make me forget the Psychological pain I'd experienced before my death wasn't satisfying enough after my resurrection. I needed more, and the cuts and scrapes and broken ribs just didn't mask all the pain anymore. I needed something stronger, a longer lasting ache and scar to sustain my daily appearances." Faith was speechless.
"B, are you saying what I think you're saying . . . ?" the brunette ventured slowly. Opening her eyes, Buffy looked down at her hands and tightened them into fists.
"The only scars that last forever are Emotional ones. You and I both know that Faith, and on a Slayer it they can be deadly . . . and that was exactly what I wanted. They kept me preoccupied during the day, and during the night they kept my dreams busy instead of reminding me of the pain of from where I'd been torn. And what better way then to throw my self at the one person I couldn't get rid of and I despised . . . yet was the only one that loved me." Her voice becoming raspy, as though trying not to become emotional. Faith was hanging on her every word; she'd never really seen this dark and hidden side of her older counter-part, and she wanted to.
"I'd convinced myself that only a monster like that could love me, could want me, that it was all I deserved. And Spike supported that idea without any intervention on my part. He told me that all the time. That I belonged with him, there in the dark, hidden away in shadows and undeserved. I used him to do to me what my own hands could not. Leave marks, some visible, some not, and make me see what I really was when I'm alive; Worthless. A Devil's concubine, and worthless to all those for which I'd given my life and had ignored my happiness. And just like before; I was unhappy and alone. The way I'd always been and forced myself to continue to be. Wanted by those I didn't, and alone in a crowd."
"Like *you've* never been so psychologically messed up that you became self- destructive?" Buffy asked dryly. Faith laughed at that, realizing that it had been stupid for her to even open her mouth to ask such a question. Believe it or not, she'd been so completely caught up in Buffy's retelling of Faith's time away that she'd completely forgotten all of that pain of her own.
"Okay, good point. But why would you need all that. Or . . . has all this 'distraction' been going on for longer than you're telling me?" Faith said it gently, but Buffy looked at her as though it was a poorly delivered joke.
"Faith, you know as well as I do that Slayers have always used The Hunt as a form of distraction. I did it during my parent's divorce, when my Mom started dating again, even when Angel and I were having problems. When it's in that form it's healthy and normal, I even asked Giles about it a couple of times . . . but what I was doing with Spike wasn't. As I started to become a little more . . . 'Sane' I started realizing that. I also realized that Spike really had thought he loved me, and that what I was doing to him wasn't right either. What he did in an effort to try and get me back . . that was calculated." She said sadly, and Faith had the sudden urge to resurrect the poor fool that'd attempted to force himself upon the blonde.
"He knew what he was doing?" Faith asked coldly, her voice venomous. Buffy didn't even seem to notice, just kept looking out to the now almost red sky. Both Slayers could feel their bodies prepare for the night; their time.
"Or course he did." Buffy said gently, "He knew that I used him to hurt me. He knew that would scar me irreversibly and leave a stain that couldn't be removed . . . he knew what he was doing, he even told me that later; once he'd gotten his soul." Buffy laughed coldly then, blinking a few times.
"That, however was an accident. He'd not wanted a soul. He'd gone there to get the chip out of his head so he could kill me and I'd be gone from his life forever . . . he'd only worded his request wrong when he'd been asked what he wanted. He asked to give him what he wanted so I could get what I deserved. I needed something with a soul, a champion. That's what I got, and it was right. It was what I needed, but not what I really wanted in order to be happy." Buffy spoke of his death minimal sadness as though remembering a bad year-book photo. It was almost unnerving. What really shocked Faith was that it sounded like, and it was probably true, that Buffy was happier with Spike gone than she would have been with his still around.
"Buffy." Faith said solidly, waiting for those hazel eyes to turn to her. Slowly they did, and as they landed, faith saw that they were empty. The Slayer is never empty, faith thought, Especially not Buffy. She'd remembered all the times, fighting or not, She'd looking into the mighty Chosen One's eyes and seen so much Life. Weather it was happiness, sorrow or pain, they were always so expressive. She was tired of this shallow, shut-off look the orbs had held for so long. Over the time the two of them spent together she'd caught glimpses into the heart of the blonde, and she was determined to teach her that she had no need for that hardness anymore. "Come here." Faith almost whispered. At that Buffy's face changed to one of suspicion and un-ease.
"What do you mean?" she asked slowly, looking at the short distance between them. Faith raised a hand and waved slightly, indicating that she wanted the girl to come closer. Buffy made a move as if to get up and leave, so faith had no choice but to act quickly. Reaching out she grabbed the girl and pulled her into an awkward hug, tugging the older woman right into her lap.
"Wha - What are you- Why, what are - what are you- " Buffy floundered, struggling to get out of the hug, but Faith just held her, not letting go. Buffy squirmed, but faith just held her still; slowly the blonde realized she wasn't going to let go any time soon and clamed. Faith pulled her slightly so that the smaller girl was sitting comfortable in her lap. Letting out a tired sigh, slightly spent from her long day and her fight for Faith-Hug-freedom, Buffy settled somewhat. As she laid her head down on Faith's shoulder, she felt Faith chuckled silently and gently stroke her back.
"Better?" Faith asked, voice so quiet even Buffy had trouble hearing it.
"Than what?" she asked, obviously confused. Faith just laughed, looking forwards towards the horizon that had fascinated Buffy all afternoon. Wrapping her arms around Faith's neck, Buffy too settled in to watch the sun set the rest of the way. Both felt awkward, though both because it didn't feel strange to be sitting here like this, in each-others arms. They'd expected, with all the bad air between them in the past and the fact that both weren't terribly physically affectionate with people they hadn't already been with intimately . . . well, it was just a shock. They hadn't even realized how long they'd been sitting there like than until their private silence had been interrupted.
"Am I interrupting something?" they heard Willow call jokingly. Both turned to look at the source of the intrusion and almost bonked heads in the presses.
"Willow," Buffy said quickly, a smile marring her face. "We were just talking about you . . ." Buffy said slyly, causing Faith to laughed loudly. As the confused redhead looked between the two laughing Slayers, she shook her head. The two Slayers had made a point to have their private afternoons, and she was starting to wonder what they had gotten up to this afternoon; the garden had grown by leaps and bounds. The lemon shrub was a REAL tree now, and there were even a few small baby lemons on it! the whole tar-beach looked like a grassland or meadow.
"Uh, Buffy, you wanted to meet with me?" the redhead said gently. Faith felt the blonde stiffen in her lap, and suddenly get up before faith could stop her. dusting off her pants she nodded, and reached a hand out to help the brunet up as well.
"By the way . . ." Willow said slowly, look almost accusing, "Did you two promise a few of the girls a little improv Slaying-Field-Trip? I was talking to one of the girls and she said that she and her friends were busy tonight because she heard about an 'un-posted' night-time activity . . ." The Witch was pissed, and they could tell. Cowering under Willow's Angry Resolve-Face they both looked down at their feet and glanced at one another trying to hide their smiles. Sighing exasperatedly, Willow put a hand over her face.
"I am trying to run a school here, people . . ." she said, sounding tired, "Could you please not get my students killed without informing me first?" They both nodded, and smiled apologetically. Willow was the Dean of Students at the Slayer's academy they'd set up. For lack of a better title for it they'd decided to call it 'Academy di Academia'. Giles was the Dean Of Deans, or the resident head-master, and right now they were running 'Summer School' waiting for their first year in session to start. They offered real schooling, along with Slaying classes.
Xander, for the Summer at least, ran the wood-shop and Metal-shop classes though her was hoping that after his Wolfram & Heart eye-surgery he could get back into construction. Most building companies don't want a foreman that can only see two dimensions. But he'd found a real joy in teaching and was hoping he could work out a schedule that allowed him to do it at least part time. He was also valuable to have around for when they needed repairs done; he was still quite skilled, and the old mansion they'd bought with the Counsel's Money was rather old and did need a bit of work done.
Willow, on the other hand, was head of admissions and taught a large variety of classes. From Computer science to Polytheistic History she was always up to her nose in work to be done. Kennedy was at Cleveland State getting her Major in English while she taught classes around that as a TA. Due to the fact that Kennedy was not only a fellow teacher at the school and yet also a student, both girls had agreed that breaking up would be best. The only problem was Kennedy was taking it a lot better that Willow and the redhead was taking it to heart.
"Oh, Buffy!" Willow said quickly, perking up for a second as she remembered her other reason for finding the Slayers, "Did you want to make that CD still?" Buffy nodded quickly and Faith groaned. Willow looked between them and watched the blonde frown. "What's wrong?"
"Faith, don't give me that!" Buffy said quickly, sounding playfully annoyed. Faith just got up as well and brushed off her jeans as well. Turing to Willow, Buffy explained. "Faith and I agreed to exchange music CDs of our favorite music and although I listened to *HERS*, "Buffy said pointedly, "She doesn't want to listen to mine. She's worried she won't like it."
"That's cause I listen to good music, and you probably listen to that touchy-feely-girly-music . . ." Faith said in her defense. Willow just laughed as the blonde turned around to look at her accusingly.
"Good music?!" Buffy yelled, "I couldn't even understand half of it! The first half of it was in German or something, and the other was Kid Rock and rap- which you know I can't stand without wanting to break something!" She yelled, and to her further annoyment, just caused faith to laugh.
"True; some of it was in German. That was Ramstine, but then there was some Russian in there two, "Looking past Buffy to look at Willow Faith continued quietly, "I Made her listen to t.A.T.u.," Willow nodded smiling and Faith turned back to a still angry Buffy, "Besides, I only put on the versions that also came in English . . . they were at the end of the CD; didn't you listen to them?" Buffy looked down at her feet and shuffled them slightly.
"I thought you'd just recorded wrong and they were repeats . . . I kinda skipped over them. I'll go back and listen to them now that I know, though." She promised quickly, Faith just laughed and tossed a playful arm over the blonde's shoulder. They both chuckled, and Willow smiled at them
"Well, if you two could do me the favor of telling the girls that there will be no 'Field-Trip' tonight, I'd be very appreciative." She said dryly, though there was humor underneath. "Besides, there's a storm coming in. I heard it both from the Coven and from the Weather Channel. It's gonna get messy out there tonight, so I'd recommend staying in." Both girls turned quickly back to the horizon they'd stared at for so long, and realized they both hadn't noticed the quickly approaching storm. Looking at each other, Faith nodded off the roof slightly, and Buffy nodded. Willow held in a laugh at how well these two could communicate silently, and waited for them to finish.
"Mecca?" Faith asked quietly. Buffy nodded, and they both smiled. Mecca was the name of the Club where Faith worked and lived. She was a bartender and bouncer, and she had her studio-apartment above it. It was the perfect thing for her too; teacher of Slayers by day, Bouncer/mixer by night along with Slaying. Also, she got the job and apartment by saving the building owner's life one night while patrolling. Faith loved that apartment, and it had sound-proofed floors so the noise didn't bother her at all. Not to mention that the only other woman who lived on the floor got along with Buffy really well so it gave her an excuse to have the blonde over a lot.
"Uh, Buffy?" Willow said gently, once again regaining the blonde's attention, "You and I had plans to go over?" Willow said slowly, voice quiet. Faith was about to ask what about, but then realized it was probably school politics that she didn't want to get mixed up in. Buffy walked out of Faith's embrace just as she felt the first drops of rain fall on her face. The tow older Scoobies walked down the stairs as Faith too a final look around. Glancing at the two small bare-patches where the girls had sat, she took in how much they stood out from the rest of the garden. It's grown by leaps and bounds, and faith realized they had that potential too. Some forgiveness, some positive thinking, and their relationship could flourish too.
Taking one last look at the setting sun and the darkened clouds, faith made her way down the stairs slowly. As she ascended, she was stopped at each floor by her students and was forced to tell them that there was no trip tonight. They all asked when the next one would be, and she simply had to shake her head. Once she'd finally made it to the second floor, she started walking towards Willow's Office where she was sure the two would be. As she raised her hand to knock, to ask when the two Slayers should meet up to go Dancing, she heard a strange snippet of conversation . . .
"Have you told her yet?" Willow asked. Faith heard the distinct sound of Buffy sighing, and there was a rustle, presumably from someone shaking their head.
"No, and I don't plan to either. There are some things that I think Faith is better off not knowing."
"You trust her, don't you?" Willow asked quickly. Before the words were out of the redhead's mouth Buffy responded.
"Of Course I do!" she said quickly, "It's not even a question of that . . . I just think she's happier this way. Ignorance I bliss and all that . . ." The blonde said slowly. Faith walked away quickly, wondering what she possibly didn't know. Buffy and Willow were keeping something from her, and tonight she was not only going to have fun, she was going to find out what Buffy's secret was . . . even if she had to spill her own in return.
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( To Be Continued . . . )
~VixenRaign~
End Part One Of Three (Plus Epilogue) of "Our Secret's Made", Prequel To "These Secrets Kept" and "Those Secrets Revealed" by VixenRaign.
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Rating: 'R', eventually Spoilers: BtVS, the entire series, and AtS through season 4 (We all know about the spoilers for AtS season 5, and let's just pretend that isn't happening, okay?). Pairings: Faith /Wood, Faith /Buffy, and eventually mention of that whole Buffy/Spike *disaster*(!) . . . . But this is mostly about Buffy and Faith and their feelings towards one another, so BE WARNED: THE IS A SHIP FOR THE U.S.S. FUFFY!
Feedback: YES! I LIVE FOR IT! Send E-Mails to Satanslilangl@yahoo.com or VixenRaign@yahoo.com
AUTHOR"S NOTE: Okay, I know this is kinda twisted, and that it's totally off the handle, but I can explain: THIS WAS ORIGIONALLY A DREAM. I dreamed it the first Tuesday when there was no BUFFY to watch (May 27 2003), and this part of the story I thought up while I was bussing the three hours drive from Florence to Rome. It's the Prequel to 'These Secrets Kept'. I hope you all like it as much as you liked the last one. Also, be gentle with the whole love-scene thing . . . it's still new to me. ~Vix
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= = = (* Forbidden Happiness *) = = =
Faith walked up to the roof of The Academy and placed the key into the lock. Only the original Scoobies had keys to this door, which often caused problems with the other teachers. The brunette *needed* a break! She'd finished a morning Slayer Meditation Class before lunch, and she'd had to call off her Weapons' Class for this afternoon. She just didn't have the energy for it, and it was only Monday afternoon. But this was her reason for going to the roof in the first place; Relaxation . . . and, of course, the good company. Opening the door and walking into the Magical Garden that Willow had created, Faith took in the beautiful View.
Buffy was laying down with her arms tossed over her eyes, knees bent slightly for comfort and thinking. She didn't even hear the roof's lock click.
"Happy thoughts?" Faith's voice called from what must have been a mere few feet away. Buffy smiled and sighed.
"Quite shallow, actually." Her tone was pleasant and light, as though she didn't have a care in the world . . . it was rare to hear her in such form.
"Well, that doesn't explain the Vegetation . . ." Faith drawled, point to the plants around the blonde. Opening her eyes to see what the brunette was talking about cause Buffy to gasp. Willow's garden really was magical. She'd cast a spell on it so that positive thought would make it grow faster. The small lemon shrub they'd planted last week was now about three feet tall. Not only that but the grass had grown to be about seven inches in height. As the blonde ran her hands through the soft green blades, she shook her head slightly. Only Willow, she thought.
"Just enjoying normalcy for once." Came Buffy's giggled reply. Faith nodded and plopped herself down in the now thick grass. Pulling up a hand- full she let it blow away in the wind. This had become a tradition for them; afternoons on the roof. The two remaining Chosen Ones had their early evenings free, while the others had classes to teach or places to be.
"What's there to enjoy?" she asked, only half joking, "I've had little to no action for almost three years, minus my last visit to the 'Dale . . . & this hellmouth *sucks* compared to SunnyD." It was a comment that made Buffy's eye fall to the ground again. Which wasn't growing as quickly as it had been a few seconds ago. Faith nodded slowly, looking away and watching the slowly reddening sky darken at the pace of molasses.
"Sorry, didn't mean to poop the party . . ." Buffy chuckled sadly and pulled up her own tuft of grass to release into the wind.
"That's alright." Buffy said slowly, eye focused on the now long-gone blades of grass, "It happened. No good in forgetting it." Faith chuckled again as she watched the blonde run her hands through the grass again.
"Are you sure it was shallow thought you were having? This place is starting to look more like a Jungle than a Tar-Beach." Buffy smiled slightly and nodded. " . . . Or Maybe," Faith said playfully, " 'Ole Red's got a thing for you? You know; she thinks 'Fondly' of you, and her garden grows wildly for her favorite Slayer . . . ?" Faith said suggestively. The older woman simply laughed and shook her head.
"I don't think so," the Slayer said slowly, "She's too caught up in her break-up with Kennedy to Hex her garden like that - even if she was." Buffy added quickly. Faith, ever playful and desperate to keep the mood light, looked skeptical.
"You do know that Willow didn't just suddenly wake up one morning and was suddenly attracted to girls, right?" Buffy nodded with a smile, borderline smirk. "And you being her only real female friend for all of high-school . . . no to mention the fact that she had a record for falling for her Best- Buds . . ." Faith extended the last word out, receiving a long pointed look from Buffy in return (which was stern).
"Really Faith, She doesn't see me like that." She said with a ere of finality. Faith nodded, smiling.
"Uh-Huh, 'cause you didn't freak out when she told you about Tara, right?" Buffy looked at her suddenly, face unreadable. Faith waved it off as if it was nothing and replied off-handedly. "Dawn told me back in LA. Tara told her, and Willow told Tara shortly after it happened . . . she was worried. You were her best-friend, the *first* person she told, and you Freaked . . . didn't you wonder why she never told Xander, or Giles, or anyone else?" Faith asked quickly. The blonde looked away, sadness and more than a smudge of guilt covering her face. The brunette Slayer had always thought that Buffy's sad face was her most beautiful, but that was before she'd truly seen her smile. Though she thought it gave the older woman a certain degree of mature elegance, she much rather hear her laugh.
"I had wondered . . . though I had always hopped that wasn't why." At this rate the garden would be dead in a matter of minutes, Faith thought, better get back to the Happies.
"But you gotta admit," Faith said slyly, "You got a weird view of Love." Buffy chuckled sadly, and looked to Faith knowingly. "You didn't mind Willow dating a Musician that probably said about 1000 words to her in the entirety of their relationship, but when it's a girl is doesn't matter how much they have in common. Both witches, both shy, both smart, college loving girls . . . you must like people in couples to be *very* different, don't you?" Buffy looked at her slightly confused, but still smiling slightly.
"You know," Faith said, nudging her slightly, "Xander always making jokes to cover-up how he really feels, then Cordy and Anya (Both of whom are no longer with us) would say anything and everything about whatever they were thinking or feeling. Giles and Jenny; One very Old-World with his books and Rules, one young with her Magic and Computers. Not to mention you and Angel . . . too many differences to number!" Both girls laughed, and Buffy looked at Faith with a large smile on her face . . . but it didn't reach the sadness in her eyes.
"Oh Faith," she said, laughter calming, "Always talking about stuff you only *think* you understand . . ." Faith just stared right back at her, a look of hurt and confusion on her beautiful face. She knew she'd struck a nerve and now she'd have to deal with the after-blow. The blonde's tone wasn't malicious like it was the last time she said it to the brunette, but rather disappointed; which seemed to make it hurt even more. "I'll admit there are times when opposites attract, but similarities are nice too." Buffy looked off into the distance, focusing on some point that Faith couldn't see.
"What do you mean?" Faith asked slowly, her curiosity overpowering her need to make the blonde smile again for the time being. The blonde blinked and looked down at her feet, bare on the grass.
"Well, I've never seen Willow as happy as she was with Tara . . . they were just so iridescent every time one of them entered a room. I don't think I've ever had that. Where the very sight of someone made a smile come to my face that I just couldn't seem to wipe away. Even with Angel there was always that fear that he was only there to bring the news that there was some great evil of her found the dead-body of one of my friends."
"But you loved him, I thought?" Faith asked quickly.
"I did." The older girl replied quietly, "But it was *so* hard. And the fact that our work was so closely related to our being together . . . it made things very difficult. With Willow and Tara . . . they always seemed to rise above it. Being Scoobies wasn't their life, just what they wanted to be a part of it. I've always wanted to know what that's like." Faith stomach suddenly sank; here was Sunnydale's greatest champion, and she sounded *so* defeated.
"Well, you can do it now." Faith said almost defensively, "You're Slayer And Chief, you have Mini-Slayer-Minions to do all that time consuming foot- work for you. All you have to do now is teach, and lead, and point the way. It's incredible how much these girls look up to you." Faith said happily.
"Yup," Buffy said, almost spacily, "That's all I have to do . . ."
"Well? Why aren't you going out and getting snuggly with some hot-little- Honey? Find some lucky bastard, and squeeze him for all he's worth." Buffy's face fell slightly as she turned sadly towards the brunette.
"Don't you think he'd notice that if as doing all this Teaching, and leading, and pointing? I wish I could find someone that already *knew* . . ."
"Xander's Free," Faith joked, "I doubt he'd turn you down!" Buffy chuckled, and Faith joined her. Looking out at the deep orange sky, Buffy sighed.
"I did freak." She said suddenly, as though all the things said in-between hadn't happened. "But not because of why you'd think." Faith turned towards her, wanting to hear her defense. The blonde smiled slightly, though her tone was sad, and began to explain.
"It was like you'd said," Buffy said, glancing at Faith before her eyes turned back to the horizon, "Willow, I'm sure, didn't just wake up one day attracted to girls . . . she's felt slightly attracted to girls her whole life, she just figured that was normal. But when she met Tara; there was no slightly. *Boom*, attracted. When Tara didn't seem to mind and ever began reciprocating those emotions, Willow realized that there was no getting around her feelings. People don't go to bed straight and wake up the next day with the perfect realization that they're attracted to people of the same sex . . ." Buffy sighed and closed her eyes slowly. As she drew in her next breath, Faith was surprised to hear it was shaky and unsure.
"I know because Willow told me . . . and because the same thing had happened to me." Faith's heart seemed to have stopped beating and was now trying to escape through her throat. She was glad that Buffy still had her eyes closed, because she doubted that the blonde would have taken her shocked expression well. "I was called to Slayerdom at barely 15 . . . I hardly ever liked guy then, but I had the same fluffy-bunny-feelings for girls . . . and that scared me."
"It was shortly after my calling to be The Slayer that I realized some of my feelings where not considered straight by the strictest of standards. People on the cheer-leading team commented on my . . . wondering eyes . . . and that was as great a motivation to leave the team as my Slaying Duty was. When people saw me out of school they avoided me, when I burned down the gym they blamed in on my Raging-Bull-Dyke-Tendencies." Buffy sighed deeply, "When I had to move to Sunnydale I decided that being a Slayer was dividing enough; I didn't need my sexuality pushing me even further from the crowds."
"Wow, B . . ." Faith whispered slowly, not knowing what to say. She and Buffy had gotten to be as close as two people could be, and yet there were still times like this which would make Faith appreciate how far they'd come. She'd never been as close to any one as she'd been with Buffy, even before she'd gone to work for the Mayor, and the fact that the blonde trusted her enough to tell her these things, things she'd never even told Willow even, made Faith realize how much they both had grown. 'Nothing like an apocalypse to bring two people together.' Faith thought ruefully.
"Hey, Ancient History," Buffy said lightly, trying to play it off as nothing, "People are only people, and they have their fears . . . mine was separation. When I first arrived in Sunnydale I was determined to keep my eyes locked firmly onto those of the Male persuasion. And, lucky me, a nice Male hotty caught my attention that first night. Only later, after I had finalized my plans to peruse him and regain my heterosexuality, I had learned he was a Vampire. He was the only guy I had really liked since I'd moved there, and I couldn't go out and find some dope to be my beard. Xander would have taken it as a personal affront if I had reduced him to that, *or* if I'd found anyone else. So, as you can see, I was pretty stuck. Plus; Angel was down-right Sexy." Buffy just shrugged and kept her eyes on the setting sun.
"When he left for LA, and I had to start college, I figured that it'd be safe for me to start experimenting with my sexuality. But the fact that Willow, and Xander, and Giles, not to mention my whole life was still right there with me made me very nervous. And so I decided to go with one more guy. But, he turned out to be a one-night-stand. So, to make me feel better, Willow set me up with a boy I couldn't stand. She did it out of the goodness of her heart, so I figured I'd just wait it out until he dumped me . . ." Buffy chuckled slightly, "I had *NO* idea that would last as long as it did. I was just so afraid of being alone, and he was there, but I didn't love him . . .and he knew it."
"He couldn't handle that I was so strong and dominant, that he wasn't the leader or 'The Pants' in our relationship. He wanted some one that would cry on his shoulder or run to him every time they scrapped their knee. I'd never cry in front of him, and I wasn't one to run away and find someone to fight my battles for me. He just couldn't stand not being needed by someone he loved so much." Buffy glanced at Faith who looked pensive and then down at the now slightly wilted grass. Bowing her head she slowly continued.
"When Willow told me about Tara, I freaked. I lost it . . . and not in a good way. I was angry, and I was upset. And I blamed her for the years of sadness and forced secrecy I'd placed upon myself. I avoided her and Tara for so long because they had what I wanted. They were together and happy, and they weren't afraid. They had placed a bet and took what chances they could face with intolerance. I hated Willow for being only human, and being braver than I; A Slayer. And so, on top of all of that, I was jealous of her . . "
"What about Spike?" Faith regretted it, the moment it the moment the sound left her mouth. Her tone had been almost interrogative, and she knew that Buffy hated talking about it.
"Ah, Yes, Spike . . ." She sighed, but her tone wasn't sad and Buffy saw the surprise on the brunette's face. "Don't get me wrong, I wish he hadn't died, but I'm far from heart-broken . . ." The blonde's face had hardened slightly, but it was no longer sad.
"You didn't love him?" Faith asked slowly, as though trying to figure out how one plus one could possibly equal two. Buffy simply stared back at her, a look of slight cheek to her face.
"You're one to comment," She said smartly, "Like you ever loved Xander!" Faith chuckled, and Buffy joined her.
"But still," Faith said slowly, "You've never been like me . . . and they way you two acted, I guess it just seemed like you were." Buffy looked down at her arms, and then took in a deep breath.
"As a Slayer, you know that we don't injure easily." Faith nodded, and Buffy grimaced slightly. "You also know that when we cut our-selves, though we do bleed, we heal quickly and almost never scar . . ." Buffy pinched her eyes shut tight. "Except when you're speaking emotionally." Faith's eyes opened about as wide as they could go, watching Buffy run her fingers over the flesh of her fore-arms. "Fighting, Slaying, wasn't enough pain. The hurt it had caused before to make me forget the Psychological pain I'd experienced before my death wasn't satisfying enough after my resurrection. I needed more, and the cuts and scrapes and broken ribs just didn't mask all the pain anymore. I needed something stronger, a longer lasting ache and scar to sustain my daily appearances." Faith was speechless.
"B, are you saying what I think you're saying . . . ?" the brunette ventured slowly. Opening her eyes, Buffy looked down at her hands and tightened them into fists.
"The only scars that last forever are Emotional ones. You and I both know that Faith, and on a Slayer it they can be deadly . . . and that was exactly what I wanted. They kept me preoccupied during the day, and during the night they kept my dreams busy instead of reminding me of the pain of from where I'd been torn. And what better way then to throw my self at the one person I couldn't get rid of and I despised . . . yet was the only one that loved me." Her voice becoming raspy, as though trying not to become emotional. Faith was hanging on her every word; she'd never really seen this dark and hidden side of her older counter-part, and she wanted to.
"I'd convinced myself that only a monster like that could love me, could want me, that it was all I deserved. And Spike supported that idea without any intervention on my part. He told me that all the time. That I belonged with him, there in the dark, hidden away in shadows and undeserved. I used him to do to me what my own hands could not. Leave marks, some visible, some not, and make me see what I really was when I'm alive; Worthless. A Devil's concubine, and worthless to all those for which I'd given my life and had ignored my happiness. And just like before; I was unhappy and alone. The way I'd always been and forced myself to continue to be. Wanted by those I didn't, and alone in a crowd."
"Like *you've* never been so psychologically messed up that you became self- destructive?" Buffy asked dryly. Faith laughed at that, realizing that it had been stupid for her to even open her mouth to ask such a question. Believe it or not, she'd been so completely caught up in Buffy's retelling of Faith's time away that she'd completely forgotten all of that pain of her own.
"Okay, good point. But why would you need all that. Or . . . has all this 'distraction' been going on for longer than you're telling me?" Faith said it gently, but Buffy looked at her as though it was a poorly delivered joke.
"Faith, you know as well as I do that Slayers have always used The Hunt as a form of distraction. I did it during my parent's divorce, when my Mom started dating again, even when Angel and I were having problems. When it's in that form it's healthy and normal, I even asked Giles about it a couple of times . . . but what I was doing with Spike wasn't. As I started to become a little more . . . 'Sane' I started realizing that. I also realized that Spike really had thought he loved me, and that what I was doing to him wasn't right either. What he did in an effort to try and get me back . . that was calculated." She said sadly, and Faith had the sudden urge to resurrect the poor fool that'd attempted to force himself upon the blonde.
"He knew what he was doing?" Faith asked coldly, her voice venomous. Buffy didn't even seem to notice, just kept looking out to the now almost red sky. Both Slayers could feel their bodies prepare for the night; their time.
"Or course he did." Buffy said gently, "He knew that I used him to hurt me. He knew that would scar me irreversibly and leave a stain that couldn't be removed . . . he knew what he was doing, he even told me that later; once he'd gotten his soul." Buffy laughed coldly then, blinking a few times.
"That, however was an accident. He'd not wanted a soul. He'd gone there to get the chip out of his head so he could kill me and I'd be gone from his life forever . . . he'd only worded his request wrong when he'd been asked what he wanted. He asked to give him what he wanted so I could get what I deserved. I needed something with a soul, a champion. That's what I got, and it was right. It was what I needed, but not what I really wanted in order to be happy." Buffy spoke of his death minimal sadness as though remembering a bad year-book photo. It was almost unnerving. What really shocked Faith was that it sounded like, and it was probably true, that Buffy was happier with Spike gone than she would have been with his still around.
"Buffy." Faith said solidly, waiting for those hazel eyes to turn to her. Slowly they did, and as they landed, faith saw that they were empty. The Slayer is never empty, faith thought, Especially not Buffy. She'd remembered all the times, fighting or not, She'd looking into the mighty Chosen One's eyes and seen so much Life. Weather it was happiness, sorrow or pain, they were always so expressive. She was tired of this shallow, shut-off look the orbs had held for so long. Over the time the two of them spent together she'd caught glimpses into the heart of the blonde, and she was determined to teach her that she had no need for that hardness anymore. "Come here." Faith almost whispered. At that Buffy's face changed to one of suspicion and un-ease.
"What do you mean?" she asked slowly, looking at the short distance between them. Faith raised a hand and waved slightly, indicating that she wanted the girl to come closer. Buffy made a move as if to get up and leave, so faith had no choice but to act quickly. Reaching out she grabbed the girl and pulled her into an awkward hug, tugging the older woman right into her lap.
"Wha - What are you- Why, what are - what are you- " Buffy floundered, struggling to get out of the hug, but Faith just held her, not letting go. Buffy squirmed, but faith just held her still; slowly the blonde realized she wasn't going to let go any time soon and clamed. Faith pulled her slightly so that the smaller girl was sitting comfortable in her lap. Letting out a tired sigh, slightly spent from her long day and her fight for Faith-Hug-freedom, Buffy settled somewhat. As she laid her head down on Faith's shoulder, she felt Faith chuckled silently and gently stroke her back.
"Better?" Faith asked, voice so quiet even Buffy had trouble hearing it.
"Than what?" she asked, obviously confused. Faith just laughed, looking forwards towards the horizon that had fascinated Buffy all afternoon. Wrapping her arms around Faith's neck, Buffy too settled in to watch the sun set the rest of the way. Both felt awkward, though both because it didn't feel strange to be sitting here like this, in each-others arms. They'd expected, with all the bad air between them in the past and the fact that both weren't terribly physically affectionate with people they hadn't already been with intimately . . . well, it was just a shock. They hadn't even realized how long they'd been sitting there like than until their private silence had been interrupted.
"Am I interrupting something?" they heard Willow call jokingly. Both turned to look at the source of the intrusion and almost bonked heads in the presses.
"Willow," Buffy said quickly, a smile marring her face. "We were just talking about you . . ." Buffy said slyly, causing Faith to laughed loudly. As the confused redhead looked between the two laughing Slayers, she shook her head. The two Slayers had made a point to have their private afternoons, and she was starting to wonder what they had gotten up to this afternoon; the garden had grown by leaps and bounds. The lemon shrub was a REAL tree now, and there were even a few small baby lemons on it! the whole tar-beach looked like a grassland or meadow.
"Uh, Buffy, you wanted to meet with me?" the redhead said gently. Faith felt the blonde stiffen in her lap, and suddenly get up before faith could stop her. dusting off her pants she nodded, and reached a hand out to help the brunet up as well.
"By the way . . ." Willow said slowly, look almost accusing, "Did you two promise a few of the girls a little improv Slaying-Field-Trip? I was talking to one of the girls and she said that she and her friends were busy tonight because she heard about an 'un-posted' night-time activity . . ." The Witch was pissed, and they could tell. Cowering under Willow's Angry Resolve-Face they both looked down at their feet and glanced at one another trying to hide their smiles. Sighing exasperatedly, Willow put a hand over her face.
"I am trying to run a school here, people . . ." she said, sounding tired, "Could you please not get my students killed without informing me first?" They both nodded, and smiled apologetically. Willow was the Dean of Students at the Slayer's academy they'd set up. For lack of a better title for it they'd decided to call it 'Academy di Academia'. Giles was the Dean Of Deans, or the resident head-master, and right now they were running 'Summer School' waiting for their first year in session to start. They offered real schooling, along with Slaying classes.
Xander, for the Summer at least, ran the wood-shop and Metal-shop classes though her was hoping that after his Wolfram & Heart eye-surgery he could get back into construction. Most building companies don't want a foreman that can only see two dimensions. But he'd found a real joy in teaching and was hoping he could work out a schedule that allowed him to do it at least part time. He was also valuable to have around for when they needed repairs done; he was still quite skilled, and the old mansion they'd bought with the Counsel's Money was rather old and did need a bit of work done.
Willow, on the other hand, was head of admissions and taught a large variety of classes. From Computer science to Polytheistic History she was always up to her nose in work to be done. Kennedy was at Cleveland State getting her Major in English while she taught classes around that as a TA. Due to the fact that Kennedy was not only a fellow teacher at the school and yet also a student, both girls had agreed that breaking up would be best. The only problem was Kennedy was taking it a lot better that Willow and the redhead was taking it to heart.
"Oh, Buffy!" Willow said quickly, perking up for a second as she remembered her other reason for finding the Slayers, "Did you want to make that CD still?" Buffy nodded quickly and Faith groaned. Willow looked between them and watched the blonde frown. "What's wrong?"
"Faith, don't give me that!" Buffy said quickly, sounding playfully annoyed. Faith just got up as well and brushed off her jeans as well. Turing to Willow, Buffy explained. "Faith and I agreed to exchange music CDs of our favorite music and although I listened to *HERS*, "Buffy said pointedly, "She doesn't want to listen to mine. She's worried she won't like it."
"That's cause I listen to good music, and you probably listen to that touchy-feely-girly-music . . ." Faith said in her defense. Willow just laughed as the blonde turned around to look at her accusingly.
"Good music?!" Buffy yelled, "I couldn't even understand half of it! The first half of it was in German or something, and the other was Kid Rock and rap- which you know I can't stand without wanting to break something!" She yelled, and to her further annoyment, just caused faith to laugh.
"True; some of it was in German. That was Ramstine, but then there was some Russian in there two, "Looking past Buffy to look at Willow Faith continued quietly, "I Made her listen to t.A.T.u.," Willow nodded smiling and Faith turned back to a still angry Buffy, "Besides, I only put on the versions that also came in English . . . they were at the end of the CD; didn't you listen to them?" Buffy looked down at her feet and shuffled them slightly.
"I thought you'd just recorded wrong and they were repeats . . . I kinda skipped over them. I'll go back and listen to them now that I know, though." She promised quickly, Faith just laughed and tossed a playful arm over the blonde's shoulder. They both chuckled, and Willow smiled at them
"Well, if you two could do me the favor of telling the girls that there will be no 'Field-Trip' tonight, I'd be very appreciative." She said dryly, though there was humor underneath. "Besides, there's a storm coming in. I heard it both from the Coven and from the Weather Channel. It's gonna get messy out there tonight, so I'd recommend staying in." Both girls turned quickly back to the horizon they'd stared at for so long, and realized they both hadn't noticed the quickly approaching storm. Looking at each other, Faith nodded off the roof slightly, and Buffy nodded. Willow held in a laugh at how well these two could communicate silently, and waited for them to finish.
"Mecca?" Faith asked quietly. Buffy nodded, and they both smiled. Mecca was the name of the Club where Faith worked and lived. She was a bartender and bouncer, and she had her studio-apartment above it. It was the perfect thing for her too; teacher of Slayers by day, Bouncer/mixer by night along with Slaying. Also, she got the job and apartment by saving the building owner's life one night while patrolling. Faith loved that apartment, and it had sound-proofed floors so the noise didn't bother her at all. Not to mention that the only other woman who lived on the floor got along with Buffy really well so it gave her an excuse to have the blonde over a lot.
"Uh, Buffy?" Willow said gently, once again regaining the blonde's attention, "You and I had plans to go over?" Willow said slowly, voice quiet. Faith was about to ask what about, but then realized it was probably school politics that she didn't want to get mixed up in. Buffy walked out of Faith's embrace just as she felt the first drops of rain fall on her face. The tow older Scoobies walked down the stairs as Faith too a final look around. Glancing at the two small bare-patches where the girls had sat, she took in how much they stood out from the rest of the garden. It's grown by leaps and bounds, and faith realized they had that potential too. Some forgiveness, some positive thinking, and their relationship could flourish too.
Taking one last look at the setting sun and the darkened clouds, faith made her way down the stairs slowly. As she ascended, she was stopped at each floor by her students and was forced to tell them that there was no trip tonight. They all asked when the next one would be, and she simply had to shake her head. Once she'd finally made it to the second floor, she started walking towards Willow's Office where she was sure the two would be. As she raised her hand to knock, to ask when the two Slayers should meet up to go Dancing, she heard a strange snippet of conversation . . .
"Have you told her yet?" Willow asked. Faith heard the distinct sound of Buffy sighing, and there was a rustle, presumably from someone shaking their head.
"No, and I don't plan to either. There are some things that I think Faith is better off not knowing."
"You trust her, don't you?" Willow asked quickly. Before the words were out of the redhead's mouth Buffy responded.
"Of Course I do!" she said quickly, "It's not even a question of that . . . I just think she's happier this way. Ignorance I bliss and all that . . ." The blonde said slowly. Faith walked away quickly, wondering what she possibly didn't know. Buffy and Willow were keeping something from her, and tonight she was not only going to have fun, she was going to find out what Buffy's secret was . . . even if she had to spill her own in return.
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( To Be Continued . . . )
~VixenRaign~
End Part One Of Three (Plus Epilogue) of "Our Secret's Made", Prequel To "These Secrets Kept" and "Those Secrets Revealed" by VixenRaign.
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