A/N: Since there aren't nearly enough Amelia stories out there, I figured we should do something about that and this is what I came up with. It takes place somewhere towards the end of season 12, obviously when Amelia is actually living with her sisters again.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think. (Chapter 2 will be up in the next few days because for some stupid reason it's easier to upload this in two parts instead of one longer one-shot.)

-Dana

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters.

PS: I'm not sure how old the kids really are. There were just so many time jumps the past couple of seasons. Shouldn't they live, like, already in 2017 by now? Because of the huge time jump in 11x22? I don't know. But I figured Zola should be about 6 now. Correct me if that's totally wrong.

Yawning loudly, Amelia dropped the magazine she was currently engrossed in on her stomach. It was filled with tons of fascinating articles about high-tech neurology toys that would hit the market sometime next year. You know, things that made her heart jump at the thought of all these new possibilities, making her feel like a kid in a candy store.

She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking about when she would pitch some of her ideas for new equipment to the board. Placing one arm across her face in an attempt to block out the light even more, she couldn't help but yawn again. She was so tired, so exhausted from this intense day she mostly spent standing in an OR, trying to fix a 16-year-old girl's head. It had been a particularly challenging case she'd worked on with Kepner and Torres. They had been spent the past week trying to come up with a decent plan for this tricky surgery. Fortunately, it all went well and she was more than happy to tell the concerned parents about their success and the good chances of a full recovery for this girl. Let's just say, there are very few things better than a mother thanking you for saving her child. Amelia smiled to herself, picturing their relieved faces again, the emotional hug they'd shared.

This was it for her. This was really her dream job. All of it. The science, the people, the feeling of purpose and importance. She was making a difference for people. That smile faded quickly, though, when she inevitably thought about how much Derek would have loved to do this surgery today. She could vividly picture them having another fight about who gets to work on that case. Now, she would give anything – really anything – to have just one more stupid fight with her ass of a brother. She shook her head and grimaced, as if trying to physically get rid of these depressing thoughts. He's gone and there is nothing you can do about it. Just think about something else, anything else. Don't go there again.

The house was really quiet now, given it was pitch black outside. She clumsily peeked out from underneath her elbow, only lifting it enough so that she could look at the clock on the other side of the room. Oh. 11:03pm. She dropped her arm again, sighing. So, Meredith would probably be gone all night then, sleeping in an on-call room. She had some emergency with a patient and left a few hours ago, hurriedly saying goodbye to her kids and leaving Amelia in charge of everything. The brunette pursed her lips. It was really interesting. The two of them could fight and argue and be mad at each other but at the end of the day, Meredith still fully trusted her to take care of her kids. That must count for something, right?

"Aunt Amy?"

Amelia nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden small voice so close to her right ear. Pressing one hand over her heart, her eyes fluttered open to find little Zola standing next to the couch in her purple PJ's. Amelia's heart skipped a beat at the sight of her niece. Her cheeks were all wet with tears, her tiny hands clutching her favorite stuffed animal – a dolphin named Lily – close to her chest.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked while she struggled to move into a sitting position, trying to disentangle herself from the blanket around her legs. Teary, chocolate brown eyes met concerned, icy blue ones.

"I had a nightmare." the girl whispered, rubbing her eye with her tiny fist.

Amelia nodded in understanding and touched the girl's arm before she scooted a little further into the pillows and patted the spot beside her.

"Zo, come here."

The child didn't hesitate one second and quickly crawled onto the couch to sit next to her aunt. Amelia wrapped her arm around Zola's shoulders while throwing the blanket back over the both of them. They settled back into the couch, half-sitting and half-laying against the soft pillows.

A few silent seconds passed, before Amelia gently asked, "Wanna tell me about it?"

Zola sniffled a little and snuggled closer into her side, seeking comfort in the warm embrace and the familiar scent of her aunt.

"Mommy was leaving and you and aunt Maggie were screaming 'Please, stay!' but she just walked away. I tried to run to her but she was really fast. Bailey was crying and Ellie, too, and..." She trailed off, the images of her dream still obviously haunting her. Amelia squeezed the little girl's shoulder reassuringly, a genuine smile on her face as she chose her next words with great consideration.

"Okay. Listen to me, Zozo." She waited for her niece to look up at her, before she continued. "Every single person in this house loves you, okay? I love you very much, your aunt Maggie loves you and your mom…", Amelia smiled even brighter, "she loves you the most. And she is never gonna leave you and Bailey and Ellie. Do you hear me? She would never ever do that." Zola nodded slowly, though she didn't look fully convinced. Something was still bothering her.

"What?" Amelia asked as the 5-year-old kept silent.

"But daddy left."

Amelia tensed, pressing her lips firmly together. She hated having to explain this over and over again to her niece. She wasn't asking that much about Derek these days anymore, but from time to time it still came up, naturally. And some of those times, it was Amelia who had to deal with it.

"We talked about this, sweetie. He didn't want to leave. He…he didn't have a choice."

"He died." Those words coming out of a child's mouth just seemed wrong. She knew Meredith had been nothing but honest with her children about this so that there were no questions, no false hopes of him coming back. She had explained everything as child-friendly as one could. Amelia knew that. She'd been there for moral support. It was just...the very idea of someone so little dealing with something so significant and adult and horrible…

"Right." Amelia nodded and smiled sadly. "And that means he's in Heaven right now, watching over us. Every day. It's his job to do that."

"I want him back."

Zola tightened her grip on her dolphin and looked up at her aunt with those big, sad eyes. Amelia just stared at her for a moment, feeling so sorry for this girl who was experiencing a kind of pain that she couldn't even fully understand yet – which made it about ten times worse to watch. Sadly, Amelia was awfully familiar with this feeling of being lost, that confusion. All she could do was hug her even closer and just whisper, "Me, too."

Amelia hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not she really wanted to talk about this any more than she had to. Usually, she would try something to change the subject right about now. But this wasn't about her. This was about Derek's little girl. So, she tried her best smile and looked at her niece again, raising her eyebrow.

"Hey, you wanna know what I do when I miss my daddy?"

Zola looked at her for a moment, clearly puzzled at the sad undertone in her aunt's voice. Gotta love how kids really never miss anything, "Why? Where is your daddy?"

Oh. Great. She hadn't thought about that. Of course she didn't know about that yet. Why would Derek tell her this depressing story?

"Well, he's in Heaven, too. You know, I bet he's hanging out with your daddy right now. I, um, I'll tell you about him another time, okay?" She quickly got to the point, before Zola could ask her any more about that. Who would want to discuss murder with a 6-year-old? "So, anyway, when I miss my daddy, I ask my mom if she can tell me a story about him. Or my sisters. That always helps me."

That was actually a lie. She avoided talking about him these days like the plague. But she remembered doing that a lot when she was very little, right after her dad had died. It made him seem…more real. Because let's be honest, she didn't have that many memories of him, considering she had just turned five when he was murdered. His death just shattered her perfect little world and nothing made sense anymore. But the older she got, the less she wanted to ask about him. It made her mad and sad and she just wanted to forget he left them altogether. She remembered one particular meltdown when she was, like, eight or nine, in which she had shouted at the sky, demanding to know why he didn't just give those men that damn watch. What was all that love for his wife worth if he couldn't be with her and their family anymore? The point was, he could have lived. He actually had a choice…didn't he? She often wondered how her life would look like now if he were still alive. Would she have become an addict? Probably not. Would she have become a neurosurgeon? Also doubtful. Sheldon had implied once that there was definitely a connection between her wanting to fix people's heads after witnessing her own father being shot in the face. The longer she thought about that, the more she came to the conclusion he was probably right, which was kind of freaking her out. That's probably also why Derek had chosen this specialty. Derek. Her relationship with her brother would have been completely different as well. Everything would be different if her dad hadn't refused to give those men his beloved watch.

Amelia was pulled out of her dark train of thoughts as Zola tugged at her shirt, trying to get her attention, "You know any stories about my daddy?"

Amelia smirked at her and said, "Oh, trust me, I know ALL the stories about him. And in fact, your mom does, too. Just ask her." She paused for a moment, then squeezed her niece's shoulder playfully, trying to make this conversation as normal as it could be. "You wanna hear a fun one right now?" The little girl next to her just nodded. "All right. Um, when we were little, your aunt Lizzie would sometimes take us to this beautiful lake in the woods to go swimming or play ball or something. Or build a small raft. Just something like that. But that one time, your dad actually climbed a tree because he thought it would look super cool to sit on a branch right over the water. Well, turns out he wasn't as good at climbing as he thought he was. So, Lizzie and I watched as he fell face-first – and with all his clothes on – straight into the cold water. He looked…so silly sitting in the mud with his wet clothes, his face all red. He was so embarrassed. Of course, I kept teasing him about it, which…he didn't appreciate. God, he was so mad at me for telling everyone about it." Amelia chuckled at the memory, before a sudden thought hit her. "Hey, you know what? I think Lizzie made some pictures of that day, actually. I can look for them tomorrow if you want." She looked at Zola again, but the girl apparently had something else on her mind.

"Can we go to that lake?" she asked suddenly. Taken aback by her request, Amelia tried to find a careful way to answer, vividly remembering the last time Meredith had yelled at her for promising her children something like that.

"Um, I don't know. We'll have to ask your mom about that tomorrow. And your grandma. We could go visit her, then, right? She lives there."

"And Aunt Lizzie?"

"Um, sure." Amelia really hoped she had managed to cover her uneasiness at that request. "I'll ask her, all right?"

In fact, she hadn't talked to any of her sisters in almost a year. It wasn't something she looked forward to. Her relationship with them was…difficult. With the age difference, them barely ever being home when she was still little and, well, the fact that they found her super annoying and viewed her as the family disappointment. It was just complicated. But she knew she couldn't avoid them forever, especially since some birthdays were coming up next month and her mom had planned this huge family get-together. Maybe this time she wouldn't be able to come up with an excuse, thanks to Zola. Oh, well, she would go there for this girl, even if it meant getting tormented by Nancy, non-stop psycho-analyzed by Kate and made fun of by Lizzie.

"Tell another one." Amelia laughed at the excitement evident in the child's voice. This was working after all. Aunt of the week material right there.

"Okay. Let's see…there are so many. Ooh, there was this crazy day at the hospital once and your daddy was supposed to…"

They spent the next hour like this. Zola listening to Amelia while she told her every Derek story she could think of. She even showed her the first pictures of the kids that he had sent her back when she was still living in LA and while she was at it, she even quickly showed her a few photos of her and her friends down there, before changing the subject back to Derek.

It amazed Amelia how she never ran out of things to say about her brother, about their childhood, about their mutual friends Addison and Mark. In hindsight, maybe there were a few stories here and there she shouldn't have told her. Like any of the pranks the Shepherd siblings had pulled on each other back in the day. It might give Zola ideas. Well, too late now, right?

After a while though, when Amelia was thinking about what to tell her niece next, she looked down and found Zola sound asleep, snuggled up to her side. Her head was resting on Amelia's arm, the blanket she had thrown over the two of them grasped tightly in the little girl's hand, her mouth slightly open. Amelia's smile faded and was soon replaced by a frown. This girl had done nothing to the world and yet she had to deal with losing her father already. It wasn't fair. But out of experience, Amelia knew life rarely ever was.

She released a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding and searched for her magazine that had somehow ended up pressed between her hip and the back of the couch. Sure, talking about Derek wasn't as painful as it used to be, but it was still hard. Especially if you have to pretend you're totally over it for the sake of his little girl. She opened the magazine again and searched for the article she'd been reading before. All she wanted was to distract herself and try to focus on anything but the fact that her brother was gone and had left so many people who loved him behind.

A/N: Thanks for reading! And have a great hiatus!