Someday You Will Be Loved
At nightfall, Severus Snape walked along the lanes of earth to the village of Godric's Hollow. Although it was summer, the big amount of dementors near that place wouldn't let the sun come out.
The wind was unbearable, and Snape was already missing his own place at Spinner's End, where he could simply enjoy his loneliness with his books and potions. He gazed at the sky, hearing the ring of the distant church's bells, reminding him of his dreadful duty of the evening.
Not that he had an invitation, he thought bitterly. Of course not. She might have wanted him there, who knows. But Potter wouldn't have left. Arrogant, imbecile and tyrant and many other names came right to his head every time he remembered him. His heart ached when he thought of the kind of life Lily would have by his side. But he wanted to see, though. He needed to, so it wouldn't seem like a dream.
The bells rang again, and Snape walked faster towards the sound. When he saw the big wooden door, he hid behind some bushes to wait, reminding of his childhood.
I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.
We could've been together, he thought again. He wondered about that single kiss, given in the darkness.
"I'm asking, please." He whispered as he ran after her. His green robes lurched because of the wind, and so did hers. She looked prettier than he had ever seen her, and even though they argued a lot, her eyes still looked as beautiful to him as they did in their childhood.
"Go away, Severus." She replied coldly, trying to release herself, for he gripped her wrist in an impulse, his eyes wet and his voice choking.
For a moment, time stopped. The dark eyes met the green, , and nothing else mattered for Snape. He could stare at her emerald eyes the whole night. His whole life, if needed. At that moment all the mess Black and Lestrange called "the Cause" sounded just foolish, and he almost decided to let it all go.
A sudden heat and he let Lily's wrist go, kneeling on the ground and clutching his left arm. He stared at the forest's ground, with all its wilted flowers and loose leaves, and felt like crying, imagining what she'd be saying to Potter and the equally stupid friends of his. He realized he had to rise, but before he could start he heard a sweet and worried voice close to him.
"Sev?" Lily asked, kneeling beside him. Her smell had no match. "Sev…"
Still in pain, he raised his head. She was so close. Closer than she had ever been. He could count the freckles on her nose, could see the narrow line dividing her iris from the pupil. He could see the pink half opened lips muttering his name. He took his hand away from the mark, and her eyes widened and filled up with tears.
"You made the mark." She whispered incredulous. Lily covered her mouth with her hand and tears ran down like ice on her cheeks. "How could you do this to yourself, Sev?"
Tremulous, he folded his sleeve down to cover the mark and remembered why they never could be together. She was from the Order, he was sure, and now he was a Death Eater. They should be enemies.
"Lily…" he started hopefully. "Lily, you don't understand… We will win, it's inevitable. You need to open your eyes. Lily, open then and you'll see The Cause is much better!"
Her wet eyes widened.
"You're mad, Sev. All I wanted was to… Save you."
Salvation. A word he no longer believed in, and yet coming from her mouth sounded so true and real.
"We'll protect you!" she started, but he raised his hand to silence her.
"I don't need the Order of the Phoenix's protection. I'm powerful now."
"Sev…" she got closer, and Severus felt his defenses come down. For a minute he thought she'd leave, but when her lips touched his, it was like a trip to heaven
That kiss he longed since he first saw her at that muggle neighborhood. That kiss he saw Potter steal from him at that Quidditch game. That mouth he desired for years in his imagination, dreamed to feel. When they stopped, he barely believed it had really happened.
"I can save you." Lily held him in her arms as she whispered, and Snape giggled. He could not be saved by anyone. Bellatrix made very clear that anyone with the intention of leaving would be killed. "I can save you…"
But at the same time he giggled and smiled. Lily was like that. She would save everyone with her kindness and honesty. After the ultimate day of the O.W.L's, he wondered many times why Lily had became friends with someone like him, and his mind came only with one single answer: Lily was a good person.
When he woke up from such daydreams, he noticed Lily had stopped repeating the phrase, though he still could feel the weight from her body on his. When he looked down at her, he saw that she had fallen asleep and smiled.
He cuddled her hair, taking of the little pieces of branch that got there as they entered the forest. After that he tied her shoes again and tidied her robes. He wasn't like the others of his lot. He wouldn't take advantage of her for her sleepy state. What he felt was pure, probably the only pure feeling he had ever felt.
He slept too, but uneasy, as the forest was murky and there was also the fear of being caught. He laughed at the thought of Potter's face if he saw where his beloved girlfriend was now. On the other hand, he wished Lily to have a good night, so he grabbed her in his thin arms and started the walk back to the castle before the dawn.
The seventh floor never seemed so far, but Snape was persistent, hiding from Filch, any ghost or the awaked teachers that could appear. When he finally got at the Fat Lady's portrait and put Lily in front of it, he gazed at his sleeping love.
He decided to leave a note, but what to write? That he loved her and wished she left Potter and all the rest to run away with him? That he needed her then and ever, but they could never be together? That they were at opposite sides in the war, so he just wanted her to be happy? That they would never kiss again, yet he would think about her forever? He chose the simplest desire in his heart.
Someday You Will Be Loved. Sev.
I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved
And as he waited behind those bushes he heard a familiar laugh. He parted the branches and saw Marlene Mckinnon tidy the dark blue dress she wore. He rolled his eyes and wished she left.
"Luck, Lil! We'll be waiting inside, dear!" he heard Marlene wishing, and when she moved he saw her.
He could not believe that someday that little red – headed girl would become what he was seeing from within those cold leaves. Her pale skin full of freckles was never shinier, just like the green painted eyes. The strapless dress was craved with golden stones as the little coat which she used to cover her shoulders. On her white neck a necklace with a silver heart.
Snape was stuck on that image, in every detail of her red hair tied up and the white veil that fell over her eyes, feeling many things at once. Jealously of Potter, who would enjoy all her kindness and beauty. For being parted of her so cruelty by life. Feeling the sudden will to talk to her, he did it.
"Severus?" she looked surprised for seeing him, and behind the veil her forehead frowned.
"You look beautiful." He said the first thing that came to his mind. Her cheeked blushed.
"Thank you. What have you come to do? Ruin my wedding with your friends? It's already enough this war-"
"There's no one else." He confessed, lonely. "Just me. I came to say that-"
"Severus, I need to get in."
"I love you." He said quickly. Her cheeks got even redder. Then he added: "But I'm not here to stop you, although I feel sorry for your, hum, choice."
Her eyebrows rose.
"You are on the side I cannot support." He continued earnestly. His ideals weakened as she shook her head. He cleaned his throat to finish. "I just wish you the best."
He ran to her before she could stop him, but instead of kissing her he hugged tightly, trying to put all his sorrow and love to that unimportant contact.
Finally the doors opened. Lily's eyes were wet as she walked towards that Potter, but the farewell was given.
When he apparated to that night's meeting, his soul was light. He wasn't regretful. Then.
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
When Severus knew Pettigrew has signed in for the group, he just wanted to choke him. They could call him whatever they wanted, but he was no traitor. At that particular meeting, Peter was devoted to bug him.
"Hey, Slimeball." He started in a lousy impression of the teen James. Snape, sitting on one of the armchairs of the Lestrange's library, ignored the spy.
"You have no idea what I have brought to the Dark Lord…" said Peter in a low hum as Snape rolled his eyes. Potter was right in that point. Pettigrew was a complete nitwit.
"You have five minutes." He said dryly as he closed his book slowly. Wormtail seemed surprised with the sudden attention, and for a moment stopped and stared at Snape, motionless.
"I said five minutes, Pettigrew." Repeated Snape coldly, and Peter seemed to wake up. Grabbing something inside his pockets, he took out a paper. Not a paper, a picture.
When he glanced at Lily's red hair shinning upon the light of the fireplace, he grabbed the picture from Peter's hands. It was a recent picture of the Potters (his chest burned at the thought of her as a Potter). James and Lily sat on the floor, and looked amused gazing at the doll. Forcing his sight for the lack of light he noticed that it was no doll, and yet a baby. The dark hair showed it. He drew his attention to the environment. A well – decorated living with a fireplace and many toys over the floor.
He thought of giving the photo back with a sarcastic comment, but an old stitch stopped him. Reflected in Lily's eyes was oblivion. It was as though he had never existed.
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved
Tears ran down his face mixed to the rain. In front of the bench where he sat many children passed by, ignoring him as he cried curled on the wood.
Lily was dead, and was his entire fault. All his ideal of a revolution was over, and guilt killed him inside. He could not believe.
The wind increased, and the old swings of the playground balanced alone. Inside his head, Snape could hear Lily's laugh as she flew like a butterfly to the sky. That smile. Those eyes. More tears came down.
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
At that time he put in his head they were from opposite worlds. He was so wrong. As he gazed at the kids smiled to the water and getting dirty with mud, he begged for all to be a bad dream, and that he could be still at the fourth year, with time to change his life.
You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved