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Random. No real motivation, just something that came to mind.

I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

She needed to get her brains fucked out. And what she needed was what she got. Rolling over, she looked at the boy with dark hair stuck to his forehead. His chest moved slowly up and down, up and down. She couldn't remember his name, she'd been more than a little bit drunk when they'd met.

This is how it had always been. When she was lonely and needed to forget she found people who would help her. For a few moments she did forget. All the pain, and all the hurt subsided as two bodies became one. But when it was over, it all came rushing back.

Looking to the left at the nightstand, she glanced at the clock sitting next to a very worn copy of, "Gravity's Rainbow." Smirking, she pulled herself out of the bed, careful not to disturb the other figure. She'd never been one of those morning after people, unless it was with someone she really cared about. And there had only been a few of those in her entire life.

Picking up her discarded clothes, she tiptoed to the bathroom and began pulling them back on. Seeing a bottle of Listerine she sloshed some in her mouth, trying to rid her mouth of any odor. While counting to twenty in her mind, she looked around the tidy bathroom. Noting the different kinds of face washes, lotions, and towels.

She'd found a good guy this time. Usually after one of her drunken one night stands she'd find herself in a very messy, and smelly bathroom. But this guy had things organized, and lined up. Even his fucking towels were folded.

'I hope his fucking mom doesn't live with him.' She thought to herself spitting out the Listerine. Opening the bathroom door slowly, she grabbed her shoes and tiptoed out of his modest apartment. Last night she hadn't been able to admire the artwork on the walls, and the collection of records he had. But this wasn't a time for her to learn about him, she'd gotten what she wanted and now she had to leave.

Closing the door gently she slipped on her shoes, and headed for the elevator. Punching the button for the bottom floor, she began tapping her foot as the metal box began it's decent downwards. Humming a slow tune, she made her way out of the lobby and started walking briskly in her worn converse. Pulling her phone out of her bag she pressed 1 and waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Hello?" A voice said groggily.
"Hey it's me."
"Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Early?"
"Exactly."
"Look I need you to pick me up…"
"Where are you?" The voice on the other end asked.
"I don't really know."
"You did it again didn't you?"
"Did what?""You know what…you really need to stop living your life like this. Give me some landmarks or names."
"Umm," Turning around she looked at the apartment name, "I'm at the Common's. Those apartment buildings.""Gimme a number"
"405." "I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Standing on the sidewalk she lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Trying to remember the guy from last nights name. A few minutes later a car pulled up, and she threw her cigarette to the ground, crushing it with her shoes.

"Thanks I owe you one." She said pulling her seatbelt on.
"You say that, but I never see you returning any favors."
"Whatever, do you remember where I parked my car?""How much did you drink last night?" Her friend asked stopping the car at a red light.
"I don't remember. I take it a lot?"
"A lot would be an understatement. You really don't remember where we were last night?" She shook her head as her friend continued, "We were at club impact, I'm pretty sure your car's there. So how was he?"
"Better than the last one."
"Wow way to go, I'm glad you can remember that much of your night."

Pulling the car to a stop in a almost deserted parking lot, she opened the passenger side of the car and headed for the lone yellow jeep in the corner. Waving at her friend she pulled out of the lot, and began her journey home.

She hadn't always been like this. She hadn't used to like clubs. She hadn't liked to smoke. She hadn't liked to hookup with random people. She hadn't liked to sleep around. But people change and she was someone who did.

Three years ago she had gotten her heart broken, and decided that she wouldn't let anyone hurt her anymore. She wouldn't fight for anyone anymore because there was no point.

Often times she'd relive the day her life changed the most. She had been 17 years old, emancipated from her parents, living in Newport fucking beach, passionate about life and crazy in love with someone who didn't love her back. The day their relationship ended was the day she took a vow that she wouldn't take shit from anyone anymore. She became the heartbreaker from that point on.

Fast forward four years and here she was, 21 years old. Drinking almost every night, sleeping with random people, and trying to forget the girl that ripped her heart in half. Trying to fill the hole in her heart with things that didn't matter. Trying to fill the void with people she couldn't even remember.

Alex Kelly was pretty much losing herself.

TBC.