A/N: Hi! I'm Dawnspirit, 80% tomboy, 10% angel, 10% devil and this is my first fanfiction on fanfiction.net. Please R/R and this fic is supposed to be silly so please don't tell me that. Any other comments or flames *hides under desk* welcome. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't actually know who owns Rayman and the others, Ubi Soft or Michael Ancel or Angel whatever his name is but it's sure as hell not me. Sasha and the plot do belong to me. Oh Yeah and Lara Crofts not mine either.
The five advantages to not having limbs or a neck.
By Dawnspirit.
Rayman and Ly were sitting at a campfire. Ly turned to Rayman. "D'you miss not having limbs?" she asked. Rayman frowned. "Miss it? Don't see how. Never had limbs so I can't really miss it can I?" His face cleared. "Why?" Ly shrugged. "Just wondered. I just can't imagine not having limbs." "And I can't imagine having limbs!" Rayman laughed. "You seem to think I'm at a huge disadvantage! I didn't do too badly over Admiral Razorbeard without limbs did I?" "Ok," Grinned Ly. "Over the next week we'll have a competition. First one to find five advantages to having or not having limbs wins." Rayman put his hand up to his face in the way he did when he was thinking. "First one to find five advantages to having or not having limbs or a neck wins. Deal?" Ly shook his outstretched hand. "Deal." She said.
3 o clock pm, Monday, in the Menhir hills.
"Go on Ly! Go on Clark!" Clark and Ly were arm wrestling and The Teensies were cheerleading to their latest acrobatic dance. "OWWWW!!" shouted Ly as Clark slammed her arm to the ground. "I think you've broken it Clark!" "Sorry Ly!" Polokus moved forward and performed a magic that mended the bone. After Ly's mood had improved and he could say what he wanted to say without getting one of his hands ran off with, Rayman stepped forward. "Number one advantage to not having limbs. If you don't have them, you can't break them." Ly scowled.
10 o clock am, Tuesday, In the walk of life.
Rayman ran faster. For once in his life he was ahead of Ly in a race and he didn't intend losing now. He was just about to swing onto a purple lum when he heard Ly shouting behind him. "Coming Ly!!" When he reached her she was sitting down, rubbing an elbow and glaring up at a tree. "What happened?" "I turned a corner too sharp and whacked my elbow on that tree!" Rayman sat next to her and gently stretched out the offending arm. "Well its not broken. And you know what this means?" "What?" "It means advantage number two. If you don't have arms you can't whack the funny bone!" Ly's eyes flashed. "It doesn't feel funny!"
2 o clock pm, The same day, near the entrance to the Cave Of Bad Dreams.
Rayman threw the blue sphere onto its pedestal and the gate to the cave of bad dreams opened. Ly peered down it. She turned to Rayman. "Are you sure about this Jano guy?" Rayman nodded. "I'm sure. He was really nice to me after I defeated him. Offered me his treasure. I want you to meet him and its here I can show you the third advantage to not having limbs." Ly's eyes narrowed. "Please tell me it doesn't involve snapping my arm off and telling me if you don't have arms they can't be snapped off!" Rayman laughed. "No. You won't be in any pain after this I promise!" "Hmmm, ok." The two jumped through the gate and walked straight ahead. After a while they heard a creaky voice behind them. "Your voyage ends here!" Ly spun round and thought she had walked into a nightmare. A green/grey blob with long spindly arms, one evil yellow eye, a top hat and what looked like a skull on a stick was snapping its dangerous looking fangs at her. Rayman however stood perfectly calm and grinned at the creature. "Hi Jano. I don't know if you remember me, I'm Rayman and this is my friend Ly. I've been here before, you gave me that elixir stuff." Jano lowered his arms and smiled. "Rayman! Did you save your friend?" Rayman nodded. "Yes." Jano turned to Ly. "Pleased to meet you. Sorry if I scared you." Ly smiled. "That's ok." She turned to Rayman. "What about the third advantage?" "Oh yeah." Rayman reached over and pinched Jano's skull on a stick. Jano breathed fire and bounced after Rayman, shouting various threats including strangling. Rayman jumped from a ledge and landed next to Ly. He laid the skull on a stick on the ground, took his friend by the hand and pulled her towards the exit. "So what's the third advantage?" panted Ly. "You heard him threatening to strangle me and if you don't have a neck you can't be strangled!"
4 o clock pm, Wednesday in the Fairy Glade.
Sasha was an eighteen year old girl who was going to become first stand in for Lara Croft. She had been sent to rayman's world for training. The exact reason why she had been sent to Rayman's world of all places was unknown. A long line of weights was in front of her. Rayman and Ly were sitting under the shade of a tree lazily watching Sasha lift them. "Trouble is," sighed Sasha ten minutes later. "I have to hold each one above my head for ten seconds and when I lift the heavier ones my arms start to shake and I have to put them down!" "Well Ly there's the fourth advantage, If you don't have arms they can't shake when lifting weights!" Sasha raised an eyebrow at Rayman's words. "Surely you can't have as much strength without arms?" "Oh don't be so sure." Rayman got to his feet and strolled along the line of weights to where the very heaviest pair where. He considered them for a minute and with a quick effort raised one above his head. Ly and Sasha just stared.
6 o clock pm, Sunday, near a lake.
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday passed peacefully and Ly still hadn't thought of any advantages to having limbs that affected Rayman. But she wanted him to come up with his final advantage and it was while they were skimming stones that he did. "So have you thought of your last advantage yet?" Rayman tossed a stone into the lake. "Yes." He answered quietly. "So what is it?" "Well put it this way. How many limbless creatures D'you see, even around here? Having no limbs is what makes me special, its what makes me unique, it's also what I'm proud of. Can you imagine me with limbs? My final advantage, if I had limbs I just wouldn't be Rayman." "Ok Rayman." Sighed Ly. "You win."
A/N: so what do you think of my sad attempt at humour? Whatever you think please please please review!