Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Final Fantasy.
These Streets
It has been an entire year since we vanquished Necron. A year since I have felt accepted and cared for. I wouldn't have dared admit it back then, but I was in a bad place when Zidane came into my life, defeating me and allowing me to walk away unscathed, but without my pride. I wouldn't dare admit it to him or anyone else, but he saved me. He saved me from myself. I hated the world and secretly waited everyday for my life to finally be taken away. And when it didn't happen, I grew frustrated. But I not once tried to take my own life. Sure, I had purposely put myself in danger with the hopes of dying in that instance. But I never did. When I joined Zidane's team and went on their journey, I felt I had a whole new purpose. I stayed calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside I felt brand new. I felt eager to live and help others.
I thought life was looking up for good, but once the excitement ended, everyone went back to focusing on their personal lives, and I was left in the dust. I went back to the only home I'd ever known: the streets of Treno. Being in that dark city brought back the worst of memories. It was as if I'd taken four steps forward and then four hundred steps back the moment I walked through those first couple of weeks I barely got by. I already resorted to stealing by the fifth day, and after ten days I was desperate. I knew if I didn't find a job soon, I would probably do something so drastic that I'd spend the rest of my life behind bars as consequence.
I didn't find a job. In fact, I went about my bad ways for months, stealing and cheating, caring less about everything every day.
I ran into an old buddy in the slums and asked to borrow 100 gil for food. He knew me too well and refused. That angered me so bad, and I don't know why I did it, but I sliced his throat open, emptied his pockets, and threw his body behind an old pile of crates. It all happened so fast, once I realized what I'd done, I broke down into tears.
Amarant doesn't cry. Amarant doesn't feel remorse. So what is this?
My gut told me to run for my life, run as fast as I possibly could. I just didn't know where to run to. Part of me wanted to call Zidane, but I remembered the god-awful truth: he never returned from the Iifa Tree. He was probably dead. I had no one to save a desperate, crazed frenzy, I ran through the slums and out the front gate into the fields. I didn't stop running for what seemed like hours. Finally, I reached the old abandoned cave. It was still abandoned and looked dirtier than I remembered. I walked to the edge of the cliff, debating within my mind.
Jump now!
Don't jump!
Only a coward would do that!
I didn't have time to decide because before I could, a fat Moogle appeared from the next area over and ran straight into me, knocking us both over the edge.
"Kup-oooooo..."