The Secret Lives of Geeks

Chapter 1

He liked the breaststroke and the sidestroke, but he was never quite comfortable doing the crawl. It required that he keep his face in the water moving side to side, breathing in measures. Every instinct in his body told him to keep his face above water and too often, when he turned to breath, he seemed to lose a beat before dropping his face again.

He stopped at the end of the lane, breathing hard, and looked up at the time. He had hoped to shave 10 seconds off last week's time, but the numbers told him that instead of shaving time, he'd added 6 seconds. He cursed and rested his forehead on the cold, tiled shelf of the pool.

….

"I just won't do it." Ziva's dark eyes flashed her outrage.

Tony looked up from his computer. "It's his decision, and knowing him, he's going to take one for the team."

"We should protest."

"And make this a bigger deal than it already is. Half the agency will be talking about it by the end of the day if we do that. He'd hate that. It is what it is."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that it sucks, but he's a big boy and he'll handle it with his typical grace."

Agent Ned Dornegut came down the stairs at a clip and landed in front of DiNozzo's desk. He had some sense as to the complexity of the situation, and so he kept his face as impassive as possible, but he could hardly contain the excitement he was feeling. "Where do you want me?"

Tony narrowed his eyes at him. "McGee's not here so it isn't decided yet."

"Right."

Tony pointed at a desk behind Gibbs' wall. "Go over there, sit down, and don't move until I tell you."

Dornegut nodded and hurried over to sit in obscurity.

"He's coming," Ziva hissed as she busied herself at her desk.

McGee came in and smiled at his teammates. "Good morning! Good morning!"

He was always a little too sunny in the morning for DiNozzo's taste, but today he tempered his responding growl. "Hey McGee, the director needs to see you upstairs."

McGee froze. "It's that time of year again. I've been practicing three nights a week at the Navy yard pool."

"Make sure you tell him that," Ziva said darkly.

He gave her an odd look. "I'm going up alone?"

"We already met with him."

McGee nodded, stowed his backpack, and headed for the stairs.

Once he disappeared, a scratchy voice floated back from behind Gibbs' cubicle. "Can I come out now?"

"Shut up, Dornegut! I'll tell you when to speak."

….

McGee smiled at Pamela as she ushered him into the director's office. Vance looked up and gestured toward him. "Sit down, McGee."

McGee noticed Gibbs on the couch paging through a file. He nodded. "Hi Boss."

Gibbs gave him a curt nod and returned to his reading. It was surprising to see him in this meeting. Gibbs had never before expressed any interest in this event. He'd always acted like it was just a distraction from the work. McGee sat down across from both men and waited.

Vance nodded. "As you know, it's time we get ready again for the Quantico Triathlon. It's 6 weeks out, and our registrations are due."

"Yes sir, I've been thinking about it. The Chief Petty Office in charge of the Navy Yard pool has been opening it for me at 11 p.m. three nights a week."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and shot Vance a hard look, but the Director ignored him. "I appreciate that. As you know, NCIS participates every year against other law enforcement teams. Each agency can have multiple teams of three people as long as each team has a woman and they has worked actual cases together."

McGee nodded in confusion. He knew all of this, having been a participant in the triathlon for the last three years. Tony did the run, Ziva did the biking, and he did the swimming.

"Sir, I'm aware that I have been the…weak link on my team. I want to reiterate that I am already working on improving my times."

Vance leaned forward. "I believe you, Agent McGee. I know sports have never been your forte.

McGee winced. Last year, he swam a week after a bout with the flu, and he'd barely been able to finish the course. Their team had come in dead last. On the years, he'd been healthy; his scores still hadn't matched Tony and Ziva's efforts.

"McGee, I'm not proud of what I'm about to do. You see, it's just a dumb sport but, FBI, CIA, and CID have beaten our butts the last ten years running. We're something of a joke in this arena."

Gibbs said nothing, but slammed his file close, and concentrated his considerable stare at Vance.

McGee's face reddened. "Sir, tell me what you want me to do."

"Agent Dornegut has spent some time working on your team this year. He also was a competitive swimmer in college. He may be a green agent, but he's got shoulders like an ox, and he can still do the breaststroke within two minutes of his best college time."

McGee stiffened. "I understand. Sir, you can put him on the team. It…I don't mind. It's your decision. Like you said, I'm not a…sports kind of guy."

"It's not my choice, McGee. Agents David and DiNozzo won't compete unless they are sure you are okay with this."

"Oh, I see. Well, I'm happy to assure them that this is not a problem. In fact, it's something of a relief. You know me. I'm a computer geek not a jock."

For the first time, Gibbs spoke. "If I were you, I'd tell Vance to go to hell."

McGee stood. "Uh, no, I…I don't feel that…at all. I'm a team player…well, not on this team, but in general, and…whatever is best for the agency is good for me."

Vance rubbed his mustache. "Hold on, McGee. Because of the rivalry and such, it's going to look like I got a ringer for the team so Dornegut is going to be working for Gibbs full time until this is over."

McGee cocked his head and waited.

"You, of course, will stay on the team. You have a very specialized skill set that can't be met by anyone else. I'd never disturb that, but with Dornegut on the team…I can't waste resources. You'll be doing less fieldwork. It'll be good experience for him. I have a couple of projects that you can work on when not assisting on cases."

McGee didn't move a muscle as he wasn't sure that Vance was done dismantling his life.

Gibbs leaned forward. "Listen to me, McGee. This is temporary, and I wouldn't tolerate it if the truth weren't that SecNav made some idiot bet on this stupid thing with SecArm. You're a pawn. I'm a pawn. Even the Director is a pawn. And we gotta' let the big boys play their games."

McGee shook his head. "It's not a problem, Boss. As long as I'm not being transferred from your team. That's something I'd like to…have a say in."

Vance nodded. "You're a good spo—man, McGee."

McGee took his cue and fled. Vance turned to Gibbs. "Go ahead. Tell me what an asshole I am."

Gibbs got up. "Ah Leon, I'm not going to do that…yet. But I will tell you that you just fed into every insecurity he has harbored since starting at NCIS. It took a lot of years for him to build confidence, and if this messes with that, you are going to be dealing with one unhappy Marine."

…..

McGee came down the stairs and headed for his desk. He could tell from Tony and Ziva's focus on their computer monitors that they were waiting for him to make the first move. He waited until Gibbs was seated at his desk before he took a deep breath. "Hey, listen, I know you were thinking of staging a little mutiny on my behalf, and while I appreciate it…it's not necessary. I'm fine. Honestly, I'm happy to not have to worry about the darn thing. It'll really piss me off if you guys don't go out there and represent for NCIS."

"I'm not even sure I want to do it now," Tony mumbled.

"Come on, Tony. You're the most competitive man on the planet, and the Director just fixed it so you guys just might win this thing. So do it already."

Ziva narrowed her eyes at him. "I will do it only because you want me to do it. If you change your mind, I am out of it."

McGee nodded at her. "Thanks Ziva."

Then he spotted the top of Dornegut's shaggy head over the divider. "Hey Dornie! Congratulations!"

Ned's head popped up and he nodded. "Thanks McGee. Appreciate it."

McGee looked at Gibbs. "Do they know the rest?"

DiNozzo looked at Gibbs sharply. "What does that mean?"

Gibbs sighed. "For now, Dornegut is assigned to the team full time. It's a triathlon rules thing."

"What happens to McGee?" Ziva bristled.

"Nothing," Gibbs growled. "He might do a couple of projects for the Director, but he's still on the team."

"I don't like it," Tony said.

McGee looked over at an expectant Ned Dornegut and said. "Don't pay any attention to them. You should've seen how Tony treated me when I first started on the team. Hang in there, listen to everything they say…well, within reason, and you'll be fine."

Dornegut nodded at him. "Thanks Tim."

Tony turned to Gibbs. "You going to let the Director do this?"

"Dornegut needs the field experience. McGee is okay with it. So sit down and shut up, Tony."

"Boss, you mind if I go get some coffee?"

Gibbs nodded at McGee. "Go."

McGee got up and cleared the bullpen before anyone could say another thing.

"This sucks." Tony said to his retreating back.

Dornegut cleared his throat and spoke. "Ah, shouldn't I be at a desk that at least has a computer?"

"Sit down and shut up, Dornegut."

Gibbs gave DiNozzo a look of warning before putting on his glasses and going through his email.

….

Abby looked up from her Mass Spec, wrinkled her nose, and said, "I smell a McGee."

"You didn't even look," he said from the doorway.

She swung her head around, pigtails flying. "Didn't have to. You still use the same soap you did when you started here nine years ago. You're a creature of habit, McGee."

His mouth twitched. "So I'm kind of boring, huh?"

"I never said that." She gave him a look as she moved over to her computer. "So, what's wrong?"

McGee shrugged. "Nothing. Just visiting."

"When you're just visiting, you don't stand at the door like that."

McGee snorted. "You really know me well, Abs."

"I'm kind of in a rush for Balboa's team, but if you want to talk, I'm here to listen. Come here so I can see you better."

Just then Dornegut came sailing by him with a plastic bag. "Hey Abby, Special Agent Gibbs needs you to retest this cold case evidence ASAP."

She put her hands on her hips. "You're interrupting, Dornie."

McGee shrugged. "It's okay. Catch you later, Abs."

He slipped out of the lab and Abby stomped her boot. "You scared him off, Dornie! When he has a problem, McGee can be like an antelope venturing out into the Serengeti, all tentative and fragile, and then you come storming in like a water buffalo and scare him back into the trees."

Dornegut sagged against the counter. "Nobody on Gibbs' team likes me. I thought McGee was the exception, but I guess it was too much to ask considering the circumstances."

"What circumstances?"

"Ah, I think Gibbs needs me back upstairs."

"Yeah, right. Park it, Dornegut. I want to hear everything."

…

"There's a Marine dead in Anacostia. Gear up!"

Everyone grabbed their guns and backpacks and headed for the elevators.

"Gibbs!"

Everyone stopped and turned at the sound of the Director's voice. He was on the stairs watching them. "You got Dornegut. Taking McGee as well is overkill."

Gibbs glared at Vance. "Dornegut is shadowing McGee."

"He already shadowed Hayes on Balboa's team for two months. Got to throw him in the deep end at some point. Besides, McGee is doing a review on some Cyber cases for me. He's got a deadline. Can't stretch him too thin."

Gibbs took a step forward and the team could see that they were about to witness the NCIS version of a cage match, but before a throw down could happen, McGee unholstered his gun. "Director's got a point. I'm up to my ears in files. Any chance I could beg off on this one, Boss? It would really help me."

Everyone had their eyes on Gibbs, and then his shoulders relaxed. "I still need you for the computer stuff."

McGee nodded. "Got it, Boss."

Gibbs threw Vance a hard look before gesturing to the team and walking into the elevator Ziva was holding.

…..

McGee was deep into cold Cyber cases when the team returned from the field. DiNozzo came at him and enveloped him in a hug. "We missed you, McCold Case! Dornegut did everything wrong."

Ziva settled into her desk. "He did not and you were riding him too hard, Tony."

"Builds character," Tony mumbled.

McGee looked up. "You can be a little much, you know. Give him a break."

"He took your place on the team and I don't like it."

"It's not his fault. It's about the triathlon."

"I do not want him getting too comfortable."

"No fear of that," Gibbs said as he entered the bullpen with a fresh coffee. "Did you really tell him to clean the truck with a toothbrush? He wanted to run out to drugstore 'cause he couldn't find any in the truck."

Tony shrugged. "When he's done, it'll be cleaner than it has been in years. It was, what, seven years since you last cleaned it with a toothbrush?"

McGee sighed. "Tony, I appreciate your loyalty, but you're the one who likes to remind me that I was raised by The Great Santini. How do you think I was able to survive you in the early years? Dornegut is a good guy and he doesn't deserve all this."

Gibbs looked up. "McGee is right. Cut him some slack. You don't and I'll find something for you to clean with a toothbrush."

McGee started to open a case file, but found a set of piercing green eyes staring at him. "Abs?"

She stood up and displayed a tight black t-shirt she was wearing that read, "Team McGee".

He winced. "Please tell me there aren't more of those t-shirts."

She shot a hard look at Gibbs. "I'm selling them for $10 a pop."

"I'll buy one," Ziva said reaching for her purse.

"Me too." Tony flipped open his wallet.

McGee bit his lip as he looked down at his desk. He gripped the file tightly to keep from shaking.

Abby cocked her head. "You okay, Timmy?"

McGee stood up suddenly. "It's bad enough having to sit here and play the good sport every day…." His face reddened and he stormed past them, calling over his shoulder. "I'm going for coffee!"

Gibbs put up a hand when Abby started to follow. "Leave him alone. In fact, that goes for all of you. You think you're helping, but you're not. He doesn't need you vocalizing your support or bullying probies for him…or putting his situation on a t-shirt. Just leave him alone."

Ziva swallowed. "He cares more than he says he does."

"I just wanted him to know that I cared, Gibbs."

"Take off the t-shirt, Abby, and get back to work. He needs space right now, not a cheerleading squad."

Tony saw the tears in her eyes. "Come on, Boss."

Gibbs gave them all a hard look. "Listen up. It is what it is. It's not my fault or Dornegut's or even Vance's. It's not fair but that's life. In a situation like this, you just suck it up and you move on. So far, the only one able to do that is McGee. Take a lesson from him."

Ziva nodded. "He's right. Every time we bring it up, we make it worse."

Abby looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."

Gibbs sighed. "It's okay, Abs. Just make sure he doesn't have to see that t-shirt again."

…

McGee sat outside with his coffee, reluctant to return to the bullpen. It was a windy day, but he liked that. Wind was always about change; something blowing in or blowing out. In the last few days, he had felt trapped by everyone's pity and he was due for a little change.

"Hey! Is this seat taken?"

McGee looked up to find Jimmy standing there, a Team McGee t-shirt draped over one arm. "I'm not really in a good mood, Palmer."

Palmer sat. "With the t-shirt comes the entire story."

"At least you're not wearing it."

"Yeah, it turns out that she only bought women's sizes. I thought I would give it to Breena. You okay with that?"

McGee raised an eyebrow. "Hey, if you want your fiancée running around with my name on her chest, go ahead."

Palmer blinked and frowned. "Never thought about it like that."

McGee sighed. "Being a geek never goes away, Jimmy."

He nodded. "True but I kind of see you and I as guys who have embraced our inner geek."

"Yeah. Usually, it doesn't bother me at all. It's just that I feel like I let them down. I had three years to be good enough to compete, and I still wasn't good enough. It's like I deserve to be the last kid picked for the team."

Palmer smiled. "I was the skinniest kid in my high school. All the girls got picked before I did."

"My dad used to say that I just never had that competitive drive."

Palmer considered that for a moment. "Maybe part of that is true. You and I aren't aggressive guys, really. We're thinkers. I wasn't any good at team sports. Always wanted to apologize after I tackled someone. Of course that just made them laugh."

"I wrestled a little in high school, but that worked because it was as much about strategy as it was about strength. I liked outwitting the other guy."

"The only sport I was good at was cross country. I was All State two years in a row. Some days, I felt like I could run for 100 miles."

"Maybe you should be on the team."

"Autopsy Gremlins don't count."

Tim looked at him. "That's not true. Does it bother you that Tony says that?"

Palmer shrugged. "Not really. I mean, Tony is Tony, and teasing is the way he shows that he cares."

McGee nodded. "But…"

"Well, it's like there are two kinds of people in NCIS: those who carry guns and those who don't. For those of us who don't…well, sometimes we wish we had guns too."

"I suppose the gun is sort of cool."

Palmer leaned forward. "But it's more than that. You guys do all the dangerous stuff, and we just back you up. You guys are the front lines."

"But we can't do what we do without you."

"I know. It's okay. We all have our part to play."

Tim shook his head. "I wish I was more like you. You seem content, you know. I wish I had that."

"What's not to be content about? I got a great job, wonderful friends, and most beautiful fiancée in the world. My life rocks. I can't get caught up in wishing I were a guy with a gun. That would just get in the way of everything that's good."

McGee slapped him on the back and stood up. "You're amazing, Palmer. You and I need to have more of these talks."

Palmer looked up. "Really?"

"Absolutely. You reminded me that there are more important things in my life than worrying about a dumb triathlon."

"Cool! Seriously, Dude, anytime. I'm always available to give advice."

….

He leaned against the doorway and watched her work. It was fun to watch her when her frenetic energy was focused. It was the only time he could really describe her as graceful; each movement she made related only to the task at hand. Suddenly, her nose wrinkled and she spun around. "McGee!"

"I overreacted, Abs."

"No! I was stupid. I got rid of all the t-shirts in the building."

He winced. "How many were out there?"

She bit her lip. "A few."

He shrugged in response.

She came at him fast and he barely had time to react before she wrapped her long arms around him. "I'm sorry, Timmy."

He buried his face in her neck. "It's okay."

Her hugs were always long ones so he didn't make any attempt to extricate himself when she held on. "Hey Abs?"

"Yeah," she said into his ear.

"That t-shirt was kinda' cool actually especially when you were wearing it. I was thinking maybe you could keep one and wear it at home."

"Timmy!" She leaned back and gave him a wicked smile.

….

TBC