chapter one

It started with a car accident.

A car accident that involved my father, a drunk driver and a wet road. His life was almost cut short that night. Who would have thought that my fathers near death experience would not only effect him - but also myself. After all that was the moment Edward Cullen was finally going to be apart of my life.

--

I sat at my kitchen table, my legs pulled up to my chest as I pushed my face deeper into my book of "A Tale of Two Cities". I was still on the first page, 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,' repeating over and over in my head, not letting the rest of the words register into my brain. I would have done anything to keep from looking up at my mother's face. She was sighing and moving her chair, trying to get my attention but Iwould do anything to avoid having to talk about this.

School was my main priority, this was something my parents could always count on. But the past few weeks my mind was shifting. I had just turned eighteen, and I still never had a boyfriend, still never went on a date. I barely had a boy look at me other then as a friend. My curiosity was starting to take over my normal clear thinking, effecting more then just my thoughts. I had helped a friend in need, which resulted in my detention.

Big deal.

But it was a big deal to my parents. In my fifteen years in school this was the first time I had ever been in trouble.

My mother tapped her long nails on the table in a slow rhythm. She knew I was trying to avoid this inevitable conversation and she was playing along with it, torturing me with her silence. I inhaled a deep breath letting it out slow. Just get it over with Emma. I scolded myself for the fifth time.

Another deep breath in and exhaling slowly I placed the book down and looked over at my mother. Her tapping fingers stopped as our eyes met. Several seconds went by before she finally spoke.

"Explain." She said, her lips pursed. I lowered my now numb legs and leaned forward. I looked down at my short nails then started nibbling on any existence of nail growth.

"Emma," My mother's tone was flat but I knew she was trying to be stern.

"I was just getting Lillian's bag for her." I said almost a little too fast.

"Why couldn't she get her own bag?" She asked, her tone changing. I looked up at her knowing that she would keep asking if I didn't make something up that may sound interesting enough.

"I don't know mom." I couldn't tell her I was bored out of my mind and I voluntarily walked into something I knew wouldn't be good. "She was in Science and her teacher is a snob and will barely let anyone out to use the bathroom. I was just trying to help."

"Are you sure that's it?" She asked. Her face was softer, and I truly believe she bought what I was saying.

"Mom, I promise. That's it."

"What about what they found in the bag?" Lillian's choice of drug happened to be in the inside zipper of her bag. When the principle, Mr. Clark, or as I like to call him - Mr. Umpa Lumpa - found me in the locked art room, he immediately searched what he thought was my bag to make sure I didn't steal anything. After five minutes of lecturing me on how disappointed he was and how much trouble I was in he gasped as he pulled out a small zip lock bag filled with something that could have passed for oregano, but what I knew was something else.

"Mom, I promise you it isn't mine. You can take me for a drug test if you don't believe me."

"So your telling me it was Lillian's? Little Lilly Anne is smoking grass?" My mother leaned in closer and whispered the last word like we were in a room full of listening ears. I sighed throwing my back into the chair.

"No mom, I'm not saying it was hers." My simple mother would be on the phone with Mrs. Lawson within minutes if I told her it was Lillian's. "No one knows how it got there. Maybe someone put it there." My mother didn't seem convinced but she knew she had to let that part be. She wasn't Lillian's mother after all.

"Your lucky detention is all the principle is giving you. You could have been expelled Emma. Your father said he wants to talk to you when he gets home."

"Ma," I protested. The last thing I wanted was to talk to my father about anything let alone this. He was the best lawyer in the city and I knew he would drill the truth out of me. He can spot a liar a mile away. Now if he would find out that I picked a lock to retrieve my friends bag because there was drugs in it, he would have my head on a platter.

"Fine," my mother waved her hands in defeat. "This wasn't a big deal after all. I will talk to him when he gets home." I sighed with relief as the phone rang against the wall. I smiled as I grabbed my book, now reading more then the same line. I barely heard my mother talk as she answered the phone, but I heard the scream very clearly.

--

I stared down the long hall of the waiting room. It was quiet except for the sounds of a woman's voice over a loud speaker every few minutes. She had been calling the same name since we arrived. I was getting to the point where I wanted to jump up and say, 'The stupid Mr. Reinhold isn't here you dumb bitch!'. But I refrained from speaking out loud my frustrated thinking to help keep my mother calm.

Sheriff Maloney was seated across from us his elbows on his knees as he looked over at my crying mother. He was the one that broke the news of my fathers crash. He was also my father's best friend. His eyes were pleading and he kept looking like he was fighting with himself to talk to my mother. He wanted to be a good Sheriff, but he wanted to be a good friend also. Either way, talking to my mother he knew wasn't the best idea. She would either cry uncontrollably where she would be the next one taken away on a stretcher, or she would smack the Sheriff. My mother is a little overly dramatic. But right now - she had every right to be.

I placed my hand on my mother's back and lightly rubbed. I was a stronger person then I thought. The second I heard my mother scream I jumped almost out of my seat. She fell to the floor, grabbing her chest. Without another thought I was at her side grabbing the phone she dropped and placed it to my ear. Sheriff Maloney explained that my father had been hit from behind by a truck sending his car into the intersection, causing two more cars to crash into his.

I looked down at my mother and grabbed her into my arms. Sheriff also explained that it didn't look good and we needed to come as soon as we could, just incase. I drove to the hospital my mother lying in the back seat. Just the idea of losing my father could just as easily been a way to stop my mothers heart then actually losing him.

No one could answer any questions when we made our way through the electric doors into the emergency room. Sheriff Maloney was waiting for us, his face grim. Now sitting here with nothing other then waiting in our future I sat back and realized, I hadn't shed one tear. Not even moisture filled my eyes. Not once. I knew I loved my father, there was no question. I really wasn't a rock hard person. I cried over commercials so I knew what a mush I really was. I looked over at my mother who was fumbling through her purse, most likely for a tissue and realized, she was why I wasn't crying. I needed to be strong for her.

A sudden shiver ran down my spine as the double doors opened and one of the most beautiful man I had ever seen walked through. He was tall with blond hair and a young handsome face. His pale white skin almost blended against his white lab coat. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him as he glided up to my mother. His golden eyes were soft but strong as he looked down into my mother's reddened tear filled ones. She was frozen, her eyes locked onto his.

"Mrs. Mills?" When he spoke it was like angels singing sweet caressing ballads in our ears. My mother didn't speak, nor did I as we looked up at the perfect structure. Sheriff Maloney's eyebrows narrowed as he stood up. He shifted his weight as he looked down at us, then back at the heavenly being before us.

"Josephine." Sheriff's voiced hissed breaking my mother's sudden spell. She blinked her eyes several times before looking up at the Sheriff Maloney.

"Yes?" She said still looking at the Sheriff. He cleared his throat then nodded towards the doctor. She looked up at him again then rose to her feet. "I'm sorry, Dr.? -" She narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm Dr. Cullen." He said smiling at my mother, flashing a set of perfect white teeth. I myself rose to my feet. He put his hand out for my mother to shake, then he put his hand to me. His eyes meeting mine cut my breath for a moment. I reached out grabbing his hand into mine. It was cold and heavy, his grip strong as he smiled at me. He looked back to my mother, his voice soft again in our ears.

"Oh doctor," my mother's eyes started to water again. Dr. Cullen shook his head and smiled.

"No, no Mrs. Mills. Your husband is fine. His surgery went well." My mother almost collapsed in his arms.

"He needed surgery?" She barely spoke.

"He was pretty bad when he came in here. He broke his leg and his arm. But that was nothing compared to the internal bleeding. The surgeon who I assisted will tell you more once he's done scrubbing." He smiled at us again before he went to turn around. That's when his last name hit me. Cullen, as in-.

"Excuse me, doctor?" I asked as I took a step forward. I looked back at my mother whose relief was overwhelming her before I looked back at the doctor.

"Yes?" he said as I took another step closer.

"Cullen, as in Edward Cullen's father?" I knew it couldn't be a long shot. There wasn't any other Cullen's in Forks. One side of his mouth went up in a smile. He was smirking at me.

"Yes, that's right. Edward is my son. I'm guessing you know him." I could feel the hotness creep into my cheeks. I shook my head lightly looking at the floor.

"No, I don't know him." But I wish I did. "We shared a few classes together last year." And I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I still can't. The doctor grabbed my chin gently pushing my face up, our eyes meeting again.

"What's your name?" He asked still smirking.

"Emma."

"Well, Emma. I will tell Edward you said hello." Oh the embarrassment.

"No," I almost snapped. "It's just, he doesn't know me. I'm sure he has no idea who I am." My eyes pleaded to him. Not on purpose of course, but I couldn't stop the pathetic look I'm sure was beaming off my face. He gave a full smile and nodded his head.

"Well, it was nice meeting you Emma. And, your father is a strong man. He will be fine." He walked away with such ease you would almost think he was floating. I turned back to my mother and sat down next to her. The Sheriff was on her other side talking to her.

"Why don't you ladies go home. Get some rest. I'm sure they won't let you see him now anyway." He said. My mother shook her head with anger.

"I'm not leaving my husband. But Emma, she should go home." I did need to go home. Hospital's weren't a place I liked to spend my time. I needed a shower. "Could you take her home Steven?" Sheriff Maloney looked over at me and smiled. His eyes were warm as he looked back down at my mother. I have to say, I always liked him. He was like an uncle to me.

"Of course I will take her home." He said as he stood up. My mother hugged me tightly kissing my face several times before I was able to follow the Sheriff down the long hall to the exit.

There wasn't much conversation as we drove in the dead of night to my house. He gave some encouraging words here and there, telling me he was sure everything would be ok. I nodded my head but never spoke. I just wanted a nice long hot shower and my bed. I was definitely going to school tomorrow. There was no way I was waiting in this house by myself for my mother to come home or worse for the phone to ring with some bad news. Going to the hospital was out of the question also. I hated hospitals.

We pulled up to my house slowly, the Sheriff getting out before I did. He walked me to my door then asked if he could check the house before he left. I knew he was just watching out for me, doing the law enforcements duties so I nodded as I went into the kitchen. After he scanned the house for invisible intruders he said his goodbyes.

A long hot shower was exactly what I needed. It relaxed me enough to pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow. I had a dreamless sleep that night, what was left of it. My alarm went off at six thirty as it did everyday. I barely crawled out of bed , trying to make my way to my closet. Maybe going to school wasn't that great of an idea. I was still tired and my eyes were having trouble staying open. The phone rang on my nightstand as I grabbed a pair of jeans. I jumped slightly before I made my way to the phone. I barely placed the receiver to my ear when I heard my mothers voice. My chest tightened, my stomach sank.

"Emma, sweetheart." I didn't want to answer her. I didn't want to know why she was calling so early. "I figured you'd be up." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She sounded too calm, everything had to be ok.

"Morning mom."

"Morning, and I hope your not getting ready for school."

"I am. I can't sit in this house all day." I could hear my mother sigh on the other end. She didn't speak for what seemed like minutes. Finally I had realized the time and sped up the conversation. "Mom, I have to go get ready, but did you get to see dad yet?"

"Yes, he's all bruised and broken. But he woke up enough to smile at me. The surgeon, Dr. King said that if it wasn't for Dr. Cullen your father would be dead. He knew exactly where the artery was that needed to be closed when no one else could find it. That Dr. Cullen is a miracle worker." I couldn't help but blush at his name. Cullen.

"I'm happy dad's ok. Will you tell him I love him and I'll be there this afternoon. I'll come straight from school." We said our goodbyes and I started to dress. I only lived minutes from the school so instead of the bus this morning I started to walk. Clearing my head of any distractions before school was something I tried to do every morning. My father lying in a hospital bed, after a night of surgery and pain seemed like a huge distraction.

The sky was a gloomy gray but the air was cool and dry. My turtle neck sweater was a little itchy on the neck but I knew it wasn't warm enough for anything less. I threw my messenger bag over my head and started down the block towards my school. Several cars passed me heading to the same place, but none would stop. Lets just say - I was invisible. I had my share of friends I guess, but they were so consumed with their own lives I might as well have not existed to them either. For the most part being invisible was exactly how I wanted it. But then there were some days where a voice of someone other then my own would be a comforting feeling. I had applied to every college I could think of and soon I would be out of Forks and into the beginning of a new life.

It wouldn't be has hard as I originally thought leaving my parents behind. They would visit often, I'm sure. Write letters and emails every day. But they would be starting their own life again, together with no one to interfere. I'm sure they would be fine after my departure. I was so consumed with thinking about school and how quickly the time was flying before it was time to leave Forks that I didn't hear the shiny silver Volvo until it was already past me. I watched the small car race up the block.

My heart started to flutter and my palms were already starting to sweat. This is how it was every morning when I would see his car. Normally I would see it in the parking lot as I walked by. He and his sisters and brothers talking around his car wasting time before the first bell. I would throw as many glances his way before I would most likely be caught by his sister Rosalie, who I knew hated me. Then my heart would sink when the reality would set in that not only would I never be with Edward Cullen - but I would never know Edward Cullen.

School was only seconds away now. My mind completely consumed by images and thoughts of Edward. I wondered what he was wearing today. His fashion sense was something out of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog. His family had money and they also had style. Most of the time they looked like they all came from some high fashion catalog. I looked down at my simple clothes and sighed.

As I approached the schools parking lot my stomach twisted with anxiety and excitement. Let the morning routines begin. There at the end of the parking lot was Edward and the rest of the Cullen clan. Rosalie stood, her flowing gorgeous blond hair falling past her shoulders. Her perfect flawless features glowing as she dug her slender pale hands into her jacket pockets as she watched her brothers Jasper and Emmett play fight. Her silver fitted bubble jacket seemed simple on anyone else. But on her, it looked amazing.

My eyes slowly fell on Edward. He was like a God, his chiseled features dominant in the barely there sunlight. His reddish brown hair in a messy style on top of his head. He had a slight smirk on his face as he leaned against his car with his other sister Alice.

How can one family that didn't even share blood be this beautiful? Edward and his siblings were all adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Up until last night I never knew what his father did for a living or what he looked like. But it was like God sent the most beautiful creatures of all the world and placed them together as a family, here in Forks. As I walked I tried my best not to trip or bump into anyone as my attention kept being pulled back to Edward. I don't know the force he unknowingly had over me, but there were times where I couldn't stop looking.

Rosalie must have realized what time it was. She shot me her ever loving hateful glare. I sucked in a quick breath before I turned my face which was completely hot with embarrassment. If only Rosalie would go straight to college every morning instead of coming back to Forks High School. Her, Emmett and Jasper made it routine to come to school with Edward and Alice to kill time before they needed to be in Forks Community College. This was bad for me. She broke my stare for the past three years, her eyes warning me to stay away. At least that's how I took it.

I didn't share anything other then lunch with Edward this year, but I did have Calculus and Italian with Alice. She was always nice to me. She talked to me here and there letting me know I existed. We weren't friends, never talked outside of the two glasses we shared, but in that little time I was able to learn a lot about her. She had a boyfriend that went to college. She never told me his name but I believe it started with a J. She scribbled J's all over some of her books with hearts and other cutesy girly designs. Something I know I would do if I had a boyfriend.

Alice was shorter then myself, with short dark hair and those same color eyes her father had. That was something that took me by surprise was how they all had that same topaz eyes. She was small in frame, almost pixie like. Her smile was heavenly and her voice was soft and sweet. I asked her once what perfume she wore and she laughed. "I don't wear perfume" was all she said. Could that scent actually be natural?

The rest of the day went by quickly, something I was hoping wouldn't happen. I had told my mother I was going to the hospital after school, but I hoped school would drag on. I had only 2 more periods left after lunch.

The lunchroom was filled with overly loud teenagers as I made my way to an empty table. I wasn't hungry, not that I ever really was, so I decided to do some homework. No one every really sat with me, mostly by my own choice. I would either read a book or do homework showing I was too preoccupied for conversation. Or maybe it was just that no one ever had the desire to sit with me.

The two of the four real friends I did have were a couple now, leaving me completely alone. David was a friend I grew up with and Sara was the new girl in Forks last year. I introduced them and they've been inseparable since. This year they occupied their time with the school paper and organizing play productions for the school. They never came to lunch anymore, using that time to work on the paper. I was used to it by now, but like I said, sometimes I needed a different voice.

Lillian and Carly, the two I knew for the longest time always skipped lunch. They had better things to do. Apparently hanging out with the football team, baseball team and any other team the school produced was an interesting way to spend their time.

I scanned the cafeteria quickly. I'm not sure if I was hoping for someone to notice me or if I was just trying to look interested in everything else so when I looked over at the table where the Cullen's sat it wouldn't look so obvious. Either way my eyes finally did fall on the table that used to seat all five of the Cullen kids. Now only Alice and Edward sat. Uneaten food in front of them, opened soda cans that hadn't been touched were inches away from them. I felt the same way they did about the cafeteria food.

Edward always looked bored, like he was just waiting for the time to pass. He was a unbelievable student, this I knew. He seemed to be breezing through school, hardly trying. Alice was just as smart. The older Cullen kids could have went to any college of choice, but chose to stay here with their family. Maybe they were waiting for Edward and Alice to graduate, maybe they would all go to the same college together. That seemed like a more suitable explanation.

I watched as Edward crossed his perfect arms over his perfect chest. His dark pants and fitted dark gray sweater made his pale skin shine. His skin looked soft, flawless just like his sister's Rosalie and Alice. Under his eyes the pale purple coloring made his eye color lighten. Why must his beauty hurt so much? I wondered often if he had a girlfriend before he moved here and if that was why he hardly smiled. If that could be why his features were also so straight. The thought of a girlfriend, real or not always made my stomach hurt. She would be the luckiest girl in the world.

I sighed to myself as I looked away. My daily ritual of torture was starting to take its toll on my stomach. My father's face kept creeping its way back into my thoughts making looking at Edward that much more difficult. I started packing my things back into my bag, getting ready for the period to end when I looked back up at Edward. Just one more time I wanted to look at that perfect face, those deep red lips and those gorgeous eyes. Edward. I thought to myself. In that moment his eyes shifted to mine as if he had heard me say his name. My breath caught in my throat the same way it did when I had met eyes with his father the night before. I couldn't pull away, but I had to. His eyes burnt through me the same way Rosalie's did. Several seconds passed before I finally fell from his stare. Had I said his name out loud? The bell buzzed over the speakers making me jump. Edward was already to his feet walking quickly passed my table out the doors into the hall. Alice was behind him looking over at me quickly. She smiled and winked, but I wasn't sure of why. Was it because she always did that, or did Edward tell her about my staring and possible slip of his name?

Get a grip Emma.

I grabbed my bag and headed to my next class. I needed to prepare myself for seeing my father.

--

I didn't stay at the hospital as long as my mother had hoped. I explained the amount of homework that I had and about a final paper do in Science. She didn't argue, but her face showed her disappointment. My father wasn't awake when I came in so I decided against seeing him. There was always tomorrow.

When I got home, after taking two buses and walking about six blocks, I was tired. I sat slumped in my father's recliner staring at the TV I hadn't put on. In three years I had never made eye contact with Edward. The image of his golden eyes burning through my brown ones was searing my brain. He almost looked disgusted. Could that be possible? I never talked to any of them other then Alice and she wasn't the type to talk bad about anyone. Or was she? But she would have no reason to talk ill of me. I never gave her any inkling of my desire for her brother. Am I that obvious? No, couldn't be. I wrestled with the idea that maybe Edward felt the same way about me that Rosalie did. My new found sadness broke my body down.

I finished my homework, made myself a sandwich for dinner, then took a shower. It was already late by the time I made it in my bed. My mother had called several times to check on me and keep me posted on my father's condition. My mind was completely preoccupied by the image of Edwards eyes. I fell asleep finally with tears filling my own eyes.

The next morning I awoke with a pain in my stomach. Maybe spending the day in the hospital would be better then seeing Edwards hateful glare again. I could afford to miss one day. I dressed quickly then headed towards the bus stop. The same cars that passed me every morning drove quickly, racing to school. I stopped at the bus stop and sat down. It was chillier then the day before. Thinking a turtle neck sweater was enough again, I now wished I would have taken my jacket. A soft humming noise could be heard from my left making me look up. There it was. The shiny silver Volvo. Embarrassment consumed me as the car flew past me. I couldn't see his face but I could bet he was giving me that glare. If he noticed me at all.

I arrived at the hospital an hour later. My mother was speaking to Dr. Cullen when I slowly crept my way to them. He must of sensed my presence. His eyes looked over at me and he smiled. At least he wasn't as gloomy as a couple of his kids.

"Hello Emma." He said. I couldn't help but smile at him. My mother looked over her eyes warm with happiness.

"Emma, your not in school." She actually sounded happy. She grabbed my arm pulling me into a hug. I smiled feeling my mothers warmth.

"I figured I could miss one day." My eyes flashed back to Dr. Cullen. "Hello Dr. Cullen." He placed his hand in mine. His grip cold and heavy like stone.

"Please, call me Carlisle." His teeth looked more white today.

"Carlisle." I repeated. "So, how's dad this morning?" I asked feeling my cheeks grown red again.

"He's actually doing quite well. He is recovering faster then most patients would in his condition. I think he will be home earlier then we originally hoped." He said in his calming soothing voice. I looked over at my mother. Her clothing had changed, indicating a quick entrance and exit at home, probably in the middle of the night.

"Carlisle says that he may be home by the end of the week. Carlisle has been more then a miracle worker Emma. He's been a savior to your father and me. Taking very good care of us." She smiled an appreciative smile his way.

"This is my job." He said smiling again. "And that job is calling me back. I will see you ladies later." He glided down the hall and disappeared around a turn. My mother pulled me to a very large seating area.

"So, tell me. What changed your mind about the hospital?" She asked pushing my long brown hair behind my ears.

"I just woke up and realized that I would rather see you guys then deal with another day with my head fogged at school." Lying again. Telling my mother that I didn't want to look into the hateful eyes of the man I loved wouldn't sit well in her stomach. No need to make my mother more upset then she was and over something so stupid.

"Want to go see your father?" I nodded my head and followed her past the receptions desk. The hall was filled with blue curtains blocking the view of the patients behind them. I was thankful for that. It was cold and smelt of bleach. The smell overwhelmed my nose burning it slightly. At least it was clean. I hesitated before I followed my mother into my father's room at the end of the hall. I hadn't seen him since the morning of the accident.

"You have a visitor." I heard my mother sing to my father. I could hear him moan in pain making my stomach twist with nerves. I held my breath as I slowly crept into the room. He was slightly propped up on the long white bed. A thin bandage was around his head, slight redness showing through. Blood. I wasn't good around blood. His left leg was in a cast from his toes to his thigh. His left arm in a sling also bandaged in a thick white cast. Both of his eyes were black like he'd been beat up. There were IVs and tubes going into him making me flinch. Flowers and balloons overwhelmed the room. My father looked back at me with sad eyes. He almost looked embarrassed.

And there they were.

The tears that didn't exist starting pouring down my face. I walked quickly to my father kissing his cheek.

"Emma, my baby don't cry. Daddy is fine." He whispered and laughed. I personally saw nothing funny about this situation. I buried my face into his neck, breathing in my father's scent. I was crying because of what I seen before me, but also because I was grateful to have him there - alive.

I spent the remainder of the day at the hospital, getting coffee a couple of times with Carlisle to give my parents time to themselves. Carlisle asked me about school and what college I was planning on attending. I really had no answer yet. I just knew it was going to be anywhere outside of this town. He had mentioned his children's plans, including Edward's. I quickly changed the subject, stopping a conversation that involved Edward before my face gave me away.

"Come on sweetheart, I'm going to take you home." I heard my mother call from the entrance to the hospital cafeteria. I looked back at her and smiled.

"I'll walk you both out." Carlisle said motioning me to the exit. My mother and him talked some until we reached the outside of the hospital.

"I don't know how to thank you, other then just to say - Thank you." My mother reached up giving Carlisle a hug. He hugged her back with meaning. He was definitely one of a kind. His wife was a lucky woman.

We said our goodbyes and headed home. It was the first night since my father's accident that my mother stayed home. Eating in her own kitchen, showering in her own bathroom, sleeping in her own bed. I was thankful not to alone, but I still couldn't get the images of Edwards eyes out of my head.