Author's Message: My first House/Wilson shipper dedicated to BertieTiger. I hope this lives up to any expectations you might have! To all my readers from 2007/early 2008, I am deeply sorry for never completing or updating earlier work, which I hope to do sometime soon. After this of course. Even though I was new and only submitted two bodies of work I feel I have a debt to all of you. Anyway please read and review. Please do not be offended by the content of this work, I have clearly stated that this is a House/Wilson shipper and of course, the content will be of a shipping nature (lol). Hopefully I can stay in character! Thank you.

Chapter One: Salad Covers Steak.

Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was alive with people who were, well, either sick or barely alive. Amongst these sorry souls was a cripple who himself was not much more in the cup-of-tea department. He was in the midst of causing fresh anarchy in the waiting room. Chairs were stacked next to him in two neat, but dangerously tall towers. Patients were being forced to stand or sit in the empty areas where cushioned relief had once occupied. Dr. Gregory House seemed oblivious to their suffering, as he hid his identity with one of the many gossip magazines that were stacked upon the central coffee table. This silent but effective disturbance was at once disrupted by none other than Dr. Lisa Cuddy.

"House!" Her body twisting around the waiting room in a slow disbelief that should have been long worn out by now. "What the hell are you doing?!"

House slowly lowered the magazine from his face. "I'm bored, I felt like having fun at the expense of the hospital's many patients in order to annoy you."

Cuddy looked at him, slightly bewildered. "Well, that was blatantly honest."

"I thought I always was."

"House," Cuddy sighed. "Please move. Go... destroy an MRI or something."

"Really?" House almost jumped up, then sat down again in defiance. "My God it's like Christmas! Thanks Mom!"

The patients who were now surrounding the two clearly were over this small banter. One surly looking bystander seemed much more impatient than the rest.

"Excuse me, Dr. Cuddy," He piped up. "Can we please have the chairs back. My wife is over there, clearly in pain. Just fire him and let us take our seats for God's sake!"

Dr. Cuddy turned to face the man who she had come across in many shapes and forms over the years of House. "I'm dealing with it sir. Just si... um, wait against the wall with the others."

"Don't listen to her," House piped up. "She's not really a doctor."

Cuddy snapped around to face House. "House, GET OUT."

He reeled back as if he had been hit with a brick. "Woe, you're actually capable of being angry." He shifted his leg to a more comfortable position and got up. "I'll meet you in your office. You're obviously in the mood for the bondage session I suggested yesterday. See you soon, sweet cheeks." He limped out of the room, flinching as he passed Cuddy as if he expected to be slapped on the back of his head. She seemed much more angry than ever before. He had no idea what was causing her "over-acting" but he was intrigued. She had now unwittingly become his new puzzle.

* * *

Dr. James Wilson was sitting peacefully in his office when his friend burst through the door.

"Cuddy's angry with me. I mean actually angry."

"Congratulations." Wilson sighed, flicking the page of his newspaper and failing to acknowledge House's presence by looking up. "Didn't I have a lock for that door?"

"You did," House grinned slightly and crashed out on Wilson's reading chair. "I think Coma Guy took it."

"Okay, I'll enable you," Wilson finally looked up and into House's almost sparkling aquamarine eyes. "How could a man in a coma, possibly rise up, out of his bed, and take my new lock that was especially designed the keep out that new bio-security hazard they've aptly labeled Dr. Greg House?"

"I dunno," House shrugged his shoulders. "I couldn't think of anything else."

Wilson eyeballed House. "You're incapable of thought. It must be lunch time. Alright, we'll go down to the cafeteria, get lunch, and then you can tell me how you managed your latest Cuddy conquest."

House shifted a little and patted himself down. "Looks like you're buying."

It was Wilson's turn to smile. "How long have you been doing that for? You'll never provide your own money for lunch ever, I get it. Stop the painful routine and let me just accept the fact that I'm your meal provider whether I like or not, okay?"

House got up once again. "I'm testing the water. You're all acting crazy."

"It could be Lupus." Wilson wittily added as he opened the door for House.

"It's never Lupus, even your mondo lame joke wouldn't change that."

The two friends walked down the corridor, House looking in all open doorways like a small child, while Wilson just walked. Wilson almost let a chill rush over him. Cuddy had been impatient with House because she knew. He had told her something so deeply personal when they had had their annual social dinner last night, that he knew she would have lashed out at someone. Even if she had told him she understood. Understandably, it had been House. Almost innocent House, who had no idea what was going on around him, although he believed that he did. God, how much did he want to tell House right now. That everything House did, all his sarcasm, his unbelievable behavior, his tendency to push everyone and everything that mattered to him away, drew him in so very forcefully. House was something like a patient to him, so damaged by a social cancer that it needed to be fixed.

"What's on my face?"

Wilson blinked. "Huh?"

"What's on my face?" House repeated. "You keep looking at me."

"Nothing." Wilson almost blundered stupidly. "Who wouldn't look at you when you're darting around like a boy that needs to pee."

They entered the cafeteria. House veered off to the right.

"I'll sit over there. You get the food. The six musketeers will be here soon, I want to grab that small table there before they come in." House pointed to a table with just two seats. "They've all formed a weird vendetta over the past week. I have the suspicion Cameron is the leader."

Wilson laughed. "Okay." He headed over to the food cabinets. Suddenly he remembered an old trick of House's that he knew would please him hugely. He grabbed a T-bone steak and covered it with salad while he grabbed a salad bun for himself and headed for the counter.

"Just these two." He told the cashier and gave her his money. He headed back to House with the two trays.

House stared at his "meal" as Wilson placed it before him.

"What the hell?" He pushed at the overdose of lettuce and carrot with his fork.

"Push it away you idiot." Wilson sat down and unwrapped his bun.

House looked at Wilson with confusion. "What's under there, dead mouse?" He poked his fork into the pile. "Oh, you didn't!" He pulled the fork back and the salad slid away to uncover the steak Wilson had hidden. "You did!"

Wilson basked in House's greedy grin. He loved making the man happy, even if it had to be kept under the painstaking façade of friendship.

"Legend." House managed through his first forkful of steak. "I taught you well."

"So," Wilson began, "what's up with Cuddy?"

"Dunno." House chewed. "But she's mega hormonal. I think she's trying again."

"The baby thing?"

"Well, yeah. Don't you know anything? You did go out on a date with her last night."

"House." Wilson sighed.

"What?" House looked up from his steak." "I know you're doing her. Come on."

"We've been through this, I'm not having sex with Cuddy." Wilson sighed again as House raised his eyebrows. "Come on, are you finished? I've got to get back to work. I've got Edna waiting for me, and you've got that clinic duty I believe you owe Cuddy."

House dropped his fork. "I haven't got anything. Just that bondage session she owes me." He got up and left Wilson alone to finish lunch by himself.

* * *

"House." Cuddy looked over at him as he entered her office. "What do you want? You're meant to be in the clinic."

House sat down in the visitor's chair. "It's Wilson."

A look of concern immediately came across Cuddy's face. "What's up?"

"Are you two having sex? I need to know."

"House." Cuddy gritted her teeth. "Do your job. Go to the clinic."

House got up. "He's not right for you. I just want you to know that."

"I know that House, trust me."

House left the room and limped down the corridor towards the clinic. Someone was lying. Someone had to be lying. Well, someone was always lying. The guess was Cuddy. She had been acting so weirdly. That performance this morning was a definite tip off. She had to know by now that he was on to her. He would never admit as such to anyone, not even Wilson, but he wasn't going to let anyone near Cuddy. She was his.

Well, that's the first chapter over. It seems like a normal day I guess, apart from the inclusion of Wilson's feelings and House's thoughts. So it's business as usual, for now. I guess the chapter is okay, but the next chapter should be better. But hey, that's my opinion and I guess the artist never likes their own work. Thoughts? Suggestions? Criticisms? I'm trying to keep the suspense no matter how much I want to delve into the House/Wilson action! Lol.